Chapter
TWENTY
“I strongly suggest you don’t go. But ultimately it’s your call.”
The ENT specialist’s words rang in Warren’s ears as he left the office. Though he was grateful for the last-minute check-in on Christmas Eve, part of him wished he’d never bothered making the appointment. He should have gone with Julia to help her get ready for Deck the Halls. He should have stayed by her side, the way she’d always stayed by his.
He felt weighted, his insides knotted. His call. He was the one who made “the call” after Theo died. The one who’d set the plan into motion. He couldn’t quit now. Not after all the work, the preparation, the training they’d done.
But fear pushed at the back of his mind—a fear that had been planted when he’d first realized that his spells of intense vertigo weren’t going away.
What if one struck him on the mountain? What if he was scaling a rock face or hit a patch of ice on a slope? What if he made the mistake of looking down at the drop-offs? One slight miscalculation could be fatal—not only for him, but potentially for the other men in his party. He’d never forgotten the story of the first ascent of the Matterhorn, during which a rope had broken and four climbers had fallen over four thousand feet to their deaths. Every climber knowingly risked his or her life attempting to reach the summit… but none would risk the life of a fellow climber.
And by not telling his party what was going on, that was exactly what he would be doing.
He parked in the lot of the climbing gym where they’d scheduled an afternoon session, because with the climb so close they didn’t even want to take Christmas Eve off.
“Hey, where you been?” Justin called, waving from the spectator area. “Time’s almost up.”
Warren lifted a hand in greeting and waited for Dave to begin his descent from the wall. He joined them as they packed up their gear, all four of the younger men buzzing with conversation and adrenaline. Warren sat on a bench and tried to muster up the courage to say what he had to say.
“Check it out.” Dave dug into his duffle and pulled out five red T-shirts, each emblazoned with the words TEAM THEO. “Figured it would be a way to take him with us.”
He tossed a shirt to each of them. Warren caught his. Something stuck in his throat.
“I…” He swallowed, bunching the shirt into his fists. “I gotta tell you all something.”
The other men stilled, as if sensing a sudden change in mood.
“What’s going on?” Justin asked.
“I’ve had some health issues the past few months,” Warren explained. “Vertigo. Dizzy spells. The doctors haven’t found a cause yet, but they’re severe enough to make it necessary for me to drop out of the climb.”
The weight of stunned silence bore down on him.
“Man, you can’t quit,” Rick said. “You’re the leader.”
“No. And believe me, I don’t want to quit. I’d do anything to get to the summit… except put any of you at risk.”
“We can take care of ourselves.”
“Yeah, I know. But we also know this climb is more dangerous than high-season climbs. The descent will be brutal. Too many unknown factors. I can’t be one of them.”
“When the hell did you become an unknown factor?” Dave paced a few steps away in frustration. “You’ve been a fucking rock all this time, man.”
Warren shook his head. Rocks didn’t feel like the earth was rotating too fast.
“I don’t know what happened.” He tightened his jaw against a sudden stab of fear. “I’ve never had health problems. My son Evan… That kid’s dealt with a heart condition his whole life. Three surgeries before he was ten. And Hailey… Jesus Christ. I’m not going to bitch about a little dizziness after what two of my children have gone through.”
“Yeah, so you quitting is total bullshit,” Justin argued.
Warren leaned his elbows on his knees. “You know why I wouldn’t let Adam go with us? Because I knew I’d be too focused on him. Even though he’s more experienced than I am, I wouldn’t be able to help looking out for him, being concerned. I wouldn’t have been able to focus well enough on what I was doing. Which would have put my own safety at risk.”
“So Adam’s not going with us,” Peter said.
“Yeah, but…” He cleared his throat. “I can’t let that happen to any of you. I won’t.”
The other men exchanged glances, their expressions somber and dark.
“Well, that wouldn’t happen.” Dave spread his hands out, a belligerent note entering his voice. “We know you can handle yourself. We’re not going to be concerned about you.”
“Yeah,” Justin agreed. “We won’t give a shit about you on the mountain. Every man for himself, right?”
Affection rose in Warren. He got to his feet and held up the shirt. “I’ll wear this when you guys are climbing. I’ll always be on Team Theo. And you’d better reach the fucking summit or I’ll kick your asses one by one when you come back down.”
He turned and walked away, trying to ignore their voices rising behind him. Like retirement, now that he’d made the decision, he wasn’t going to revisit it again. Wasn’t going to let anyone talk him out of it.
But damned if it didn’t hurt like hell.
He went home to change into a navy suit, knotting a candy-cane patterned tie before leaving for the Holiday Festival. The bright lights and festivities of downtown did nothing to lighten his mood. He maneuvered through the crowd, his thoughts focused only on Julia. He didn’t want to interrupt her preparations for Deck the Halls; he just needed to see her.
All the seats around the stage were taken, and more people stood on the perimeter. A salty wind blew in from the ocean. Multicolored lights sparkled and glowed. Throngs of people held paper cups of cocoa and coffee, their faces bright.
The show had already started, everyone’s attention focused on a dozen little girls and a Gingerbread Man energetically tap-dancing to “Sleigh Ride.” Warren made his way to the side of the stage, scanning the crowd for Julia. He’d have to wait until the show was over.
To tell her the truth. The reason why he’d kept the Matterhorn climb from everyone. Despite all his training, he had never been entirely sure his body wouldn’t fail him. Not because he wasn’t strong but because he’d lived long enough to know that no one was immune from anything. Evan and Hailey had been his starkest evidence of that fact.
Sometimes you didn’t meet the challenges you set for yourself. That was life too.
“Ladies and gentlemen, our next act is Jingle Belles, a marvelous acapella group.” Julia’s assistant Marco stood on the stage with the microphone, a clipboard in one hand. “We need to announce a slight change in their program. One of their members had to leave and meet her new granddaughter, so the group has a substitute alto for Gail. Please welcome the Jingle Belles. Sharon, Connie, Beverly, and Julia.”
Warren’s heart jolted. Numerous surprised glances and murmurs accompanied the crowd’s applause. Three women decked out in red dresses and one woman in green walked out on to the stage.
God. His heart hammered like that of a fifteen-year-old boy gazing at his movie-star idol. He edged his way to the security rope. One of the Knight Security guards gave him a nod of recognition and removed the rope to let him get closer to the stage.
Julia’s hair gleamed in the stage lights, and the green dress flowed over her with the smoothness of a curved leaf. Emeralds winked at her neckline and ears. Even from a distance, Warren detected the nervousness in her expression, even the tremble of her hand as Marco handed her a mic.
He had to suppress the urge not to run onstage and grab her in his arms. Never let her go. The women started to sing “O Come All Ye Faithful,” tentative at first and then with greater strength. The audience grew quiet. A chill ran down Warren’s spine. Julia’s voice—clear, strong—sank into his blood. She transformed when she sang, her face lighting, everything inside her coming through the rise and fall of the notes. Their harmonies were imperfect, but their voices rang together like bells, full of heart and emotion.
The crowd burst into thunderous applause when the song ended. The Jingle Belles consulted for a moment, and Marco stepped out to hand a few pages of music to Julia. The women then launched into “Away in a Manger,” “The Holly and the Ivy,” and “I Heard the Bells on Christmas Day,” concluding with a rendition of “Joy to the World” that had the crowd on its feet applauding before the song ended.
Warren had always been immensely proud of Julia. But this? He didn’t think his heart could contain all the pride and love bursting through it.
The women smiled, their eyes bright and their faces glowing. They clasped hands and bowed before one of the women turned to Julia. They spoke for a moment. Julia shook her head. Marco came out again and joined the conversation.
The audience quieted. One of the women, Sharon, turned to the front of the stage.
“Thank you, everyone,” she said into her mic. “I think we all know Julia as an incredible stylist and fashion expert. After all, look what she did for us. Miracles can happen, right? But beyond that, she’s a truly lovely, kind, generous person and she’s become a good friend to the rest of us Belles.”
She gave Julia a warm smile. Julia seemed a bit startled, her eyes shifting to the other Belles as if wondering if this was a joke.
“Earlier, Julia’s assistant told us that she does an incredible version of ‘It Came Upon a Midnight Clear,’” Sharon continued. “We’re hoping she’ll do a solo. If we can convince her, maybe she’ll sing it for us.”
Cheers, applause, and whistles rained from the audience. People rose from their seats again, clapping. Julia now had a fixed smile—one Warren recognized as deadly. Marco pointed to the front of the stage. She said something to him through her teeth. He merely shrugged and grinned.
The other Belles stepped back toward the curtain, leaving Julia in the spotlight. Shining like a gemstone. She cleared her throat and spoke into the mic.
“First, thank you for the kind words, Sharon,” she said. “I’ve gotten to know the Jingle Belles as an extraordinary group of women who have inspired me in new ways. As most of you know, I agreed to coordinate this show and not sing in it. So I—”
Her gaze collided with Warren’s. His breath stopped.
An eternity folded in on itself in that instant. Stars and galaxies collapsed and burst back into life. They were the only two people in the crowd, the town, the world. He would live forever, as long as he was with her.
Julia brought the microphone back to her lips, her eyes never leaving his. Her voice spun out like gold.
“It came upon a midnight clear, that glorious song of old…”
“…which now the angels sing.”
Julia lowered the mic, her whole body pulsing with joy and light. Silence resounded in her ears for an instant before thunderous applause broke over her. Her chest tightened.
She searched the audience again, but Warren had disappeared into the sea of faces. She glanced to the side of the stage where there was a small area reserved for show volunteers.
Her nephews and niece stood there, all seven of them applauding. Hailey wiped her cheeks with a gloved hand. Evan put his arm around her. Tyler was grinning from ear to ear. Julia caught Luke’s gaze. He nodded his approval, his own eyes glittering.
It wasn’t enough, of course. A song, even one about angels and harps of gold, couldn’t bridge the new distance between her and her family. But maybe now there was hope. Hope could still win the battle.
Julia’s heart was a bird, fluttering and soaring over a crystal-blue sky. Her voice was imperfect, but her soul was not. From a child singing with her father to a barefoot gypsy girl traveling the country to a successful woman approaching the half-century mark… she was more than she had ever imagined she would be.
Her heart had been broken and then mended. Her confidence dented and then repaired. Her strength sapped and then restored. Her shine dulled and then polished.
She hadn’t missed anything in life. Just the opposite. With Warren, the boys, Hailey, her life here in this town… she’d found everything.