Sweet Reality by Laura Heffernan (18)

 

 

 

 

This morning, we cruise into the beautiful port of Cozumel shortly before sunrise. We’ll drop anchor at the floating dock and take guests over to the island by catamaran beginning at 7:30 AM.

 

In Cozumel, a variety of activities await you. On the far side of the island, swim with stingrays, snorkel, scuba-dive, or water-ski with our tour guides. Take a 35-minute ferry ride across the sea to Playa del Carmen, where you can tour Aztec ruins, either on foot or on horseback. Or stay on our island here for some excellent shopping, Mexican food, entertainment, and more!

 

We set sail sharply at 5:00 PM, so leave yourself plenty of time to return to the dock. Cozumel time is an hour earlier than ship time. We sail on ship time, not local time.

 

For those staying onboard today, venture into our casino at 9 AM to play poker with your favorite stars. Prizes awarded for both the fan and the reality TV star with the highest score at the end. All participants receive points, which may be redeemed for onboard credit, usable to purchase alcohol, souvenirs, onboard dining, or casino credit.

 

Don’t know how to play? No problem! Start with a brief lesson from Tammy Rae. Tutorials run every 15 minutes, beginning at 8 AM. Please note: the regular casino will not be accessible while we are in port; all slot machines, cashiers, and non-tournament tables will be closed until 6 PM.

 

Available excursions 2

Full schedule of onboard events 3

Map of Cozumel 4-5

Meet the Real Ocean: Caribbean writers 6-7

 

 

The ship rocked. Sirens blared. I struggled to breathe as smoke poured through the room. We were going down! I needed to find Justin. No, wait. Justin didn’t want me anymore. Where was Rachel? I needed to get off this ship. The air was so thick, I couldn’t move. I clawed and thrashed, getting nowhere.

“Jen. Jennifer!” Rachel’s voice penetrated my panicked mind. My eyes flew open. Sheets cocooned me, and both my tiny hotel pillows lay on the floor.

“We’re sinking. There’s a fire. We have to get off the ship, now!”

“No, we’re not.” She gripped my shoulders, speaking firmly. Finally, her words penetrated my sleepy brain. “You’re having a bad dream. It’s okay. We’re fine.”

Outside the door, a voice spoke continuously on the speakers in the hall. I strained, but couldn’t hear the words. “Then what’s the announcement? Why are there sirens and alarms? And why are we still rocking so much?”

“There’s a rough sea today. The catamarans to the mainland and the far side of the island can’t make it. They sent an alert to our phones through the messaging app, and it’s on the TV. But that’s it. Take a look.”

Before reaching for my phone, I peeked out the window beside my bed. Waves covered half of it, creating a moving diagonal line of water. Water pelted the sea from above. Watching it nauseated me. The skies were as gray as my mood, and the water matched. Nothing beautiful or paradise-like outside our window.

Rachel was right: Bad weather woke me. A storm. Not a fire. We weren’t sinking. It was a nightmare. Like the rest of the week.

“Thanks, Rach. I’m an idiot.”

“No, you’re not. The guy doing the announcement said things like ‘emergency trips only.’ It’s easy for your subconscious to distort that. But the important thing is, we’re fine. Even if we can’t tour the Mayan ruins today.”

“No ruins?” I’d signed up for the tour with Justin, so I didn’t know whether to be disappointed I wouldn’t make it. Better not to see him and Ariana walking around together all day, hand-in-hand. Not that the reality probably looked much worse—or much better—than the torturous images on constant repeat inside my head.

Rachel shook her head. “No, but get up. Since we’re stuck onboard, I’m going to enter the poker tournament. Want to join me?”

Usually, I’d enjoy playing cards for a few hours. When we’d been locked up on The Fishbowl, I made my own cards to pass the time. But then I remembered who was hosting the poker tournament.

Ugh. I didn’t have the heart to spend another day getting insulted by Tammy Rae. I needed a plan before I approached her again. If only I could talk to Sarah, find out whether the recipe would make a difference now that Justin didn’t love me anymore. After what happened in the elevator, as much as I wanted to work things out, the future seemed bleak. If I were fired either way, I could go sit at the free bar on the Lido Deck for the rest of the cruise.

With a groan, I flopped onto the mattress, pulling the sheets over my head. “You go on without me. And hand me a pillow?”

Rachel responded with a heavy sigh and her foot tapping against the floor. “Are you planning to mope all day?”

Through the sheets, I said, “Well, the man I love is sleeping with the person who tried to smear me on national television, and I’m stuck on this boat with them both until Sunday. Then, when we dock, I have to find my own ride home, because he won’t drive me now, and then I’ll have to move out of his sister’s apartment and find a new job. So, yes, I plan to mope all day.”

A hand fell on the top of my head. “I’m sorry, honey. The two of you just need a few days to think, gain some perspective. You can still work it out. But I’ll leave you alone.”

The door clicking into place swallowed my “don’t count on it.” That was fine. Arguing with Rachel would only take the cruise from “a total disaster” to “the worst experience of my life.” Grumbling under my breath, I grabbed my pillows off the floor, flopped over, and willed the day to pass faster.

Some time later, my phone beeped, waking me. The skies outside were still gray, and the ship still rocked more than usual, so I must not have been out long. I found a message from Ed, sent through the ship’s messaging system.

Where? Why? I replied.

He said, I’m in the casino. With Rachel and Tammy Rae. They’re facing off against each other.

My stomach growled. Darn Ed for waking me up. Now I’d have to find food before I could go back to sleep. Room service took at least an hour, which meant I’d have to leave the room now. Unfortunately, visiting the buffet up on the Lido Deck greatly increased the odds of running into people I couldn’t stand to see at the moment. Or ever again, in some cases.

Suddenly, the room brightened. Even after the way I’d been moping for half the trip, Rachel really made a special bet just to help me? My heart grew three sizes at the thought of anyone doing something so selfless for me after I’d been such a misery. I didn’t deserve such a wonderful friend.

My fingers flew over my screen, sending a reply.

I sent another text. What did Tammy Rae say?

Imagining the expression on Rachel’s face at the idea of losing her perfect blond hair made me giggle. In time, it would grow back, but the thoughtfulness of her gesture improved my spirits considerably. Maybe Dominic and Ariana ruined my relationship with Justin and I was going to lose my home and my job, but at least I had some amazing friends who cared about me. That meant a lot. Especially if one of them had a couch for me to sleep on.

It took less than two minutes to grab a sundress out of the closet, stuff my feet into a pair of flat sandals, and finger-comb my hair into a ponytail. Eight minutes after I read Ed’s last message, I arrived in the casino carrying a cup of coffee, a plateful of baked goods, and a lighter heart than I’d carried since Tuesday morning.

The casino was the one part of the ship I hadn’t visited at all yet. Ringing slot machines gave me a headache, and the Network wasn’t funding anyone’s gambling habits. If I wanted to come in here and play games instead of being out in the world, creating drama for the viewers, it would be on my own dime. And while I loved board games, card games, and puzzles, I didn’t love watching my money spin away from me and down the drain.

The room took up the entire port side of the ship. Rows of slot machines ran along the near wall. Plush carpet with colorful swirls covered the floor. As the boat rocked, the motion and pattern started to hypnotize me until I dragged my eyes away. About a dozen poker tables filled the center of the room, with more slot machines behind the tables farthest from me. A cloud of smoke rose from that section. On the far side of room, the one feature distinguishing this casino from others I’d seen was a lounge area with a row of windows. I’d never seen a casino where people had any way of gauging when time passed.

Tammy Rae held court at the center table, signing autographs for fans during the break. Rumor said she used to be a high roller at the top of her fame. It made sense when my mom told me Tammy Rae would appear on Celebrity Poker Matchup, but I hadn’t thought about it after she dropped out at the last minute. At the end of the season, her replacement came in eighteenth out of twenty.

Now, I wondered why Rachel thought she could beat someone who’d been playing high stakes tables in Vegas since practically before she was born. We’d played a little on the show, but Rachel never came across as a card sharp. She mostly played for the social interaction, or so it seemed. I prayed she had better luck this trip than I did.

Across from Tammy Rae sat Rachel, chatting with Ed. The crowd parted when I started toward them, creating a path straight to Rachel’s side. “Hey, you don’t have to do this,” I said.

“I know,” she said. “But you’re having a terrible week, and you need something to take your mind off everything. Besides, I’ve got the bone structure to pull off a bald head.”

Leaning forward, I kissed her on the cheek. “You’re an amazing friend. But try to win, okay?”

“I always win, remember? Cheerleading champion, hog-tying champion, winner of The Fishbowl?”

“Good point. She destroyed me in the finale,” Ed said.

“Exactly. I can handle a poker game. More importantly, I can handle Tammy Rae.”

At the front of the room, Leanna blew a whistle. I hadn’t noticed her standing there holding a microphone. “Okay, everyone! Break’s over. It’s time for the final round. Tammy Rae versus Rachel, heads-up. Now, this is a friendly tournament, so both start the final table with twenty-five thousand in chips. Blinds double every five minutes, starting at fifty and one hundred dollars.”

My mouth went dry, and my heart pounded as the dealer dealt the first two cards. On my left, Ed gripped my hand. Danielle made her way through the crowd, moving to my right. With the two of them flanking me, my breathing evened out.

After looking at her cards, Tammy Rae checked, meaning she passed the bet to Rachel without adding anything. Rachel threw a red chip toward the center of the table.

“That’s a thousand,” Ed whispered to me.

A thousand dollars? On the first hand? What was she doing? She only had twenty-five thousand in chips to spend! Tammy Rae raised the bet to three thousand. I silently begged Rachel to drop out, but she called, and the dealer laid three cards down in the center of the table.

Ace of diamonds. Ten of diamonds. Ace of spades. Everyone had a pair of aces. Not a bad start. Tammy Rae checked to Rachel again, who bet ten thousand. My mouth fell open. Beside me, Danielle squeezed my hand.

“Try not to move or react,” she whispered in my ear. “You don’t know what cards Rach has. You don’t know what Tammy Rae has. If Rachel is bluffing, you don’t want to give her away by mistake.”

Hoping I seemed nonchalant, I sipped my coffee while Tammy Rae called the bet. The fourth card flipped face-up onto the table. Three of clubs. Tammy Rae checked, and Rachel stood. “I’m all-in.”

The crowd gasped. Spots danced in front of my eyes. All the air evaporated from the room.

All-in on the first hand? With a pair of aces on the table? What was she doing? Ed stepped closer, bolstering me with his shoulder. Danielle stood ramrod straight, not moving or reacting, just like she advised me to do.

Tammy Rae tapped one finger against her mouth for a long moment. I held my breath. Finally, she set her cards down and shoved her chips toward the center. “I’m all-in, too.”

She also stood, and the crowd shoved in around them. The front of the table dug into my ribs, but I already couldn’t breathe, so it didn’t matter. The dealer flipped Rachel’s cards over first. Ace of Hearts, Ace of Clubs.

“Four of a kind,” the dealer announced. Four aces! What an awesome hand! Then he flipped Tammy Rae’s cards, revealing a king and a jack. “Pair of aces.”

To Danielle, I whispered. “Why did she go all-in if she only had the pair of aces showing on the table? Bluffing?”

She shook her head, then pulled out her phone and started typing. A moment later, mine buzzed with a message.

The dealer looked from Rachel to Tammy Rae and back, drawing out the tension. A bead of sweat appeared on Tammy Rae’s brow. Rachel tossed her head and winked at me, appearing no more stressed than if she waited in line to pick up takeout.

The final card moved onto the table, face down. I gripped Ed’s and Danielle’s hands so tightly, Danielle winced. The final card flipped. The crowd gasped. Ed let out a strangled sound. My heart plummeted straight down into the sea.

Queen of diamonds.

We lost.

* * *

To her credit, Rachel didn’t seem at all disappointed when the dealer revealed the final card. She tossed her hair, raked one hand through her blond curls, and grinned at me. “I’d been meaning to get a trim, anyway.”

“Me, too.” I squeezed her hand. “Let’s go up to the salon.”

“You? You don’t have to hold my hand.”

“I’m not coming for moral support. I can’t let you do this alone.”

“Don’t be ridiculous,” Rachel said, hands on her hips. “This was my bet. Not yours.”

“Your bet, trying to do something nice for me? Trying to save my business and my relationship with Justin’s sister? You’re right, this bet had nothing to do with me.”

She grinned at me. “You get one last chance to change your mind before I’m going to give in.”

“It’s beyond your control. I’m doing this. Cabinmate solidarity. Besides, who do I need to look good for?”

Ed jumped, clapping his hands. “Me, too! Me, too!”

On my other side, Danielle slammed the rest of her drink. “You’re all nuts. No way I’m shaving my head, but I’ll come along for support.”

Rachel blinked several times, then waved her hands in front of her face. “You guys! I love you both so much.”

Without so much as a glance at Tammy Rae, the four of us marched out of the casino, holding hands, with our heads held high.

The salon attendants didn’t seem fazed by three people walking in and asking to have their heads shaved, not even when Connor appeared to video us. Naturally, the producers weren’t going to let us experience this moment in private.

We took side-by-side-by-side chairs, and Danielle went to the gift shop to look at matching hats. Ed, of course, suggested she find one with his picture on the front.

Moments later, the stylist got started. Rachel’s gorgeous blond curls hit the floor first, followed by Ed’s short black hair, then my stick-straight brown locks. We didn’t speak until the stylist finished, brushing final bits of hair off my shoulders. Then we all turned to face the mirrors at once.

My bald head looked like the top of a lamppost. Round, smooth, and gleaming white. I started to stay something, but at least my face and scalp matched.

Rachel may have possessed perfect bone structure, but her fake tan hadn’t been applied to her scalp, giving her a white line across her forehead. She wailed at her reflection. “I look like one of those things from Willie Wonka and the Chocolate Factory!”

I started to reply, but Ed hooted. “If you are wise, you’ll listen to me!”

Rachel glared at him, lips clamped together, but when her shoulders started shaking, a giggle escaped me. The stylist broke down, too, which only made everyone else laugh harder. When the unflappable Connor cracked a smile from behind the camera, I stopped fighting the urge to laugh. Beautiful features aside, Rachel really did look ridiculous.

Every time my eyes met hers in the mirror, I heard the Oompa Loompa song running through my head and a fresh wave of laughter hit. Finally, I stopped and sat up. “Thanks, Ed. I needed that.”

“No problem. And Rach, we’ll get you an awesome hat.” He leaned into the mirror, turning his head slowly from side to side. “Meanwhile, I look fabulous.”

Unlike me and Rachel, Ed seemed more attractive than ever without hair. Or maybe I’d forgotten how hot he was. That’s how I could tell what good friends we’d become: he’d morphed into Ed, the guy I turned to for laughs and comfort rather than Ed, the hottest guy I’d ever seen in real life. Even with a newly shaved head.

After the week I’d experienced, the sadness I felt staring at the mixed pile of hair on the tiles surprised me.

Ed squeezed my hand. “It’s only hair. It’ll grow back.”

“I know,” I said, swiping at my nose. “This is stupid. It’s not about the hair.”

“Everything’s going to be okay, Jen,” he said.

“Really? How?”

“I don’t know. I was going for supportive.”

“Don’t listen to him,” Rachel said. Her scalp gleamed, creating a white cap atop her tanned face. “All you and Justin need is to sit down and talk about your relationship.”

“What could he possibly say about sleeping with the enemy?” I asked.

“Come on,” Rachel said. “There’s no way he actually slept with her. And you’d know that if you’d swallow your pride, tell him the truth about Dominic, and ask him.”

“She’s right,” Ed said.

If only I shared their certainty that this whole fiasco was nothing but a misunderstanding. Seeing Justin and Ariana together, over and over, made me wonder how I could have misinterpreted things. What possible explanation could he have for a naked “Ari” in his room? Did I want to hear it? How could I forgive him?

Thinking something happened between me and Dominic didn’t give him a free pass to sleep with whoever he wanted. Especially not the one person he knew would hurt me the most.

“If he had an explanation, why didn’t he tell me when we talked in the elevator? He had plenty of time to say, ‘Look, nothing happened, ’ and he didn’t.”

“Maybe he doesn’t know what you thought you saw,” Ed said.

“Yeah. Did you see Justin, or did you just take off?”

“I ran,” I admitted. “But he heard me knock. He asked who was at the door.”

“And Ariana probably told him it was housekeeping or room service at the wrong cabin,” Ed said. “You’ve got to talk to him.”

“I don’t know. He was awfully quick to assume the worst about me. And to take his revenge.”

“That’s the whole point,” Rachel said. “You don’t know if he actually did anything. Maybe he’s sitting around, crying on Ariana’s shoulder and wondering why you haven’t explained yet if nothing happened.”

I didn’t know he slept with her, but I felt it deep down. Especially when I saw him and Ariana everywhere. The stabbing pain in my guts couldn’t be all a figment of my imagination. I shook my head. “Maybe we weren’t meant to be, Rach. It’s not like couples who meet on reality shows usually work out long-term. Look at all the failed relationships on those dating shows. Maybe we were destined to be a statistic.”

“Don’t think that way,” she said. “Talk to him.”

I’d tried to give him a chance. Instead of explaining, he’d attacked. But I’d done the same. What a mess.

The three of us left the salon and squeezed into an elevator with the ever-present, never-speaking Connor and his camera. Rachel hit the button for the fourth floor, where we would meet Danielle at the gift shop. I prayed we wouldn’t pass Justin on the way. Or Ariana. Or Dominic. Or any combination of the three.

We didn’t see them, but as we exited the elevator and walked past the casino, Tammy Rae whistled, stopping me in my tracks. “Jen! Love the new look.”

Curling my lip, I kept my gaze focused firmly ahead of me. The last thing I needed at the moment was to deal with her gloating. According to Danielle, Rachel played her hand perfectly. She just got unlucky. I didn’t see any reason to relive the game.

Then Tammy Rae spoke again, softer. “Come on, Jen. I want to talk to you.”

I couldn’t imagine what we had to talk about, after everything. She’d decided my relationship was fake, cruelly twisting the knife as I watched my world crumble. She never let me explain what happened, believing the worst about me, like Justin. Like all of America did, back when Danielle called me a home wrecker on national TV, and I almost got voted off The Fishbowl because of it.

Still, something in her tone made me pause. Maybe she wasn’t just planning to laugh at me, after all. And if she was, I did promise Leanna a showdown. It didn’t have to be with Ariana.

Ahead of me, Ed turned back. “You okay? Want us to wait?”

“No, it’s fine.” I shifted from one foot to the other, wishing I knew what Tammy Rae wanted.

“I don’t bite,” she said. “I promise. Come on, five minutes of your time. What do you have to lose?”

She had a point. I waved Ed and Rachel on.

“I’ll buy you a hat,” Ed said.

“I’ll make sure it doesn’t have a whale tail on it,” Rachel added. She mouthed, “Good luck” behind Ed’s back, where Tammy Rae couldn’t see her.

After wavering from me to Ed and Rachel and back for a moment, Connor locked eyes with a cameraman standing just inside the door to the casino. He lifted his eyebrows, which must have meant something, because the other guy nodded. With a thumbs up, Connor turned and jogged after my friends.

“That was a cool thing you did for your friend,” Tammy Rae said.

Rubbing my head self-consciously, I approached like a fish nudging past a sleeping shark. “It’s nothing compared to what she did for me.”

“Still, you’re not so bad.”

“Thanks, I guess.”

“How’s the blond doing?”

“Rachel’s fine. You saw her; she still looks great. The three of us were on our way to pick out matching hats for the rest of the cruise.”

“Adorable. Those two a couple?”

“No.” I didn’t elaborate. If she’d paid as much attention to the show as she’d made it seem when claiming I faked my relationship, she’d know pretty girls didn’t catch Ed’s attention.

“Too bad. They look good together,” she said. “Come with me. Let’s talk.”

She hadn’t bitten yet, so I followed Tammy Rae to a small seating area on the far side of the casino. I still wasn’t sure I wanted to hear whatever she planned to say, but this week couldn’t get any worse. As if by magic, a waiter appeared when we sat. Maybe she was still a high roller. Since it was only ten o’clock in the morning, I ordered a hot chocolate with extra whipped cream.

“I heard what you said at the rum factory, you know,” Tammy Rae told me. “I’ve been thinking a lot the past day or so. You were right. You and Justin are normal people, same as me. I mean, totally not as famous as me—and you’re a terrible singer.” She winked.

My face grew warm. “Sorry for butchering your song like that.”

“It’s not the first time. Won’t be the last. Anyway, like I was saying, I can’t hold you two to impossibly high standards. The other day, you gave me a glimpse of true love. I can’t expect you to never hit a rough patch. And I can’t let whether I help you depend on things that are none of my business.”

“Does this mean you’re going to give me the recipe?” My hopes skyrocketed, but a lot of noise surrounded us. My ears rang already; maybe I misheard her.

She nodded. “You’re good people, Jen. Good people constantly get screwed by the world. Watching the four of you leave the casino, I realized I didn’t want you to be one of them.”

“Thank you,” I said, genuinely touched.

“Also, your friend Rachel? Before the tournament, she offered me five thousand dollars to tell you. Sober and everything.”

My mouth dropped. Sarah and I could never repay her generosity. Even offering a thousand dollars had been a stretch. Five thousand meant taking almost two months’ living expenses out of my Fishbowl winnings.

“I thought playing for it would be more fun,” Tammy Rae said. “But then I saw you come down to support her, how you sat with her throughout the game. I love the kind of loyalty you inspire in your friends.”

“Rachel’s a wonderful person and a good friend. It’s easy to be loyal to her.”

“Maybe, but don’t sell yourself short. You didn’t have to come watch the game. You didn’t have to rescue her at the rum factory. And you didn’t have to shave your head because she did it. It wasn’t your bet.”

I started to disagree, but there was no point in trying to talk Tammy Rae out of having positive feelings toward me. Not when it sounded like she might be giving me exactly what I needed. Instead, I asked, “Speaking of the bet, why did you go along with the bet if you were going to tell me the secret either way?”

She shrugged. “I wasn’t going to. It’s a woman’s prerogative to change her mind, you know.”

“Thank you so much. You have no idea how much this means to me.”

“I don’t want anyone to overhear, so I’ll text it to you,” Tammy Rae said. “You’re on the cruise line messaging system?”

I nodded, afraid to breathe in case she changed her mind. She began tapping, and I pulled out my phone, ready to pounce the second the notification arrived.

An excruciating five seconds later, the device buzzed in my hand. The message popped up, containing only two words. Words that so confused me, I blinked and rubbed my eyes before reading them again.