Bryce

“Daddy loves his Princess.” I lean down and press a soft kiss on my beautiful daughter’s forehead. “Today you’re three months. It’s been three months since you came into my life and made me a better man. I love you, Blaire.”

Soft music plays in the background as I rock my daughter to sleep. I’ve read two stories and she’s calmer than an hour ago. I could sit here forever while holding her in my arms. There’s no better feeling than cradling your life in your hands.

Blaire’s my world.

My heart.

My saving grace.

I didn’t know a love like this can exist. I never thought I’d want to be a father and now I have Blaire and she’s everything. My world feels at peace. Life feels steady. Everything I’m doing is for her.

The door closing gets my attention. I don’t allow Tiffany’s departure to ruin this moment. We’re living together for the sake of Blaire. I care about Tiffany, but I can’t love her the way she loves me.

After an hour, I place Blaire in her crib and grab a blanket from her drawer. It’s a little cold tonight and the heat isn’t warming her room. That’s something I’ll have to check tomorrow.

She’s lying still, and I wonder what she’s dreaming about. I stare at my daughter making sure she’s tucked in before placing another kiss on her forehead and whispering, “I love you, Blaire.”

“Blaire!” I thrash around on my bed, willing myself to wake up, and get out of my nightmare. “Blaire! Daddy’s so sorry,” I cry, and the sobs wrack my body. “Daddy’s so sorry, Blaire. Please don’t hate me, Princess. Please don’t hate me.”

“Mr. Hunter, I am so sorry. We’ve done everything we can. There’s no brain activity. It’s been a week, sir.”

I grip the wall to hold myself up. “What am I supposed to do?” I whisper, and feel Tiffany stand by my side.

“We have to let her go,” she says in a low tone. “We have to let her go,” she repeats and my shattered heart turns to dust.

The doctor leads us into her room and my beautiful Princess will never grow up. She’ll never get to talk or get ready for school. I’ll never be able to enjoy her firsts – crawling, walking, or talking. I’ll never get to see her grow up to be a remarkable woman.

Everything’s gone.

Everything’s gone.

Everything’s gone.

Tiffany and I stand on both sides of Blaire’s hospital bed. The only noise besides the beeping from the machines are sobs from us. Sorrow fills me, and I don’t know what to think or what to say.

“Sir?” the doctor says.

I nod, and I don’t move. There’s no possibility of me to turn off the ventilator. I can’t do it.

Minutes pass before they pronounce her time of death.

10:37 AM.

I’m watching the nurse remove the wires from my daughter and she asks, “Mr. Hunter would you like to hold her?”

“Please,” I barely say the word. “Please.”

It’s only Blaire and I in the room. Tiffany’s gone and I’m not sure where she went.

I pick up my world and kiss her again. One last time. “Goodbye, Princess. Daddy’s so sorry. Please don’t hate me. I love you so much and I’ll never forget you. Please don’t hate me, Blaire.” I hold her to my body and breathe in her baby scent.

“I love you. I love you. I love you.”

“Blaire!” I wake up in a pool of sweat. The room’s dark and my head is pounding. Reaching over I grab the tumbler and drink the last remnants of the whiskey.

I look to the side of the bed.

Empty.

Madison's gone.

The lies and secrets I kept from her made her leave me. It's my own fucking fault she's gone.

I wipe my tired face with my hand and get out of bed to pour more whiskey into my glass.

Everything feels empty without her here. The house is quiet. It's been five days and she hasn't returned any of my texts or calls. Henry's telling me to give her space and give her time.

Sipping the whiskey and welcoming the burn it brings, I sit down on the couch in my living room while staring at the Chicago night sky.

Gripping the tumbler in my hand, I lean my head back, hoping closing my eyes will allow me a few minutes of peace.

“Tell me you’re not going to leave me.”

“I’m not leaving you, Bryce.”

Blinking my eyes open, my pulse races with the memory of Madison. Squeezing my eyes shut, I'm trying to catch my breath, and hold it fucking together. Getting up from the couch, I take the stairs one by one until I reach my bedroom and walk into the bathroom.

Placing the glass down, I turn on the faucet and let the warm water run before splashing it over my face. I grip the edge of the sink with my hands and drop my head forward. I let out a heavy breath before lifting my head. I see the man in the reflection before me.

“No. There’s nothing you can say or do to make me forgive you. You betrayed me. I can’t ever trust you.”

Her words are all I hear.

“And you promised to love me and never lie to me. Look where that’s gotten us. I want you out of my life. Don’t ever speak to me again. We’re done. Over.”

“Madison,” I murmur her name in the silence.

“You’re gone. Out of my heart. I don’t love you.”

“Fuck!” I roar and pull back, picking up the tumbler and throwing it against the wall. The anger isn't residing. I look to the mirror again, pull back my arm and swing it forward, watching the glass shatter. The cracks in the mirror aren't breaking. I punch the mirror repeatedly. The pain isn't registering in my mind. My body's numb to the pain. Numb to it all.

Once I'm done, I see the shards of glass everywhere. The mirror's gone. My chests heaves and I drop my head again.

Blood pours from my hand. There's blood all over the sink and bathroom floor. I'm not wincing from the pain or rushing to get my hand cleaned.

Walking out of the bathroom, with blood dripping from my hand, I languidly head down the stairs and to the bar, not caring about a glass. Taking what I need, I toss the cap on the floor and bring the decanter to my lips.