Thirty – Five - Serena

“Because now is the only time we have.”

 

 

 

Naked and damp, I stand in front of the dresser towel-drying my hair.

Kholton is on the bed behind me, propped up on one elbow, also naked and watching me with an indiscernible expression.

It’s making me self-conscious. Nervous.

“What?” I ask his reflection in the mirror. “Why are you looking at me like that?”

He lies back and clasps his hands behind his head. “Just imagining what you’d look like all fat and swollen with my baby inside you.”

I’m certain my heart has stopped beating. I’m not breathing, am I? What the heck?

Slapped mute by his words, I duck my head so damp strands fall forward to hide my face. With anxious hands, I open drawers and blindly dig around for clothes. I haul on the first piece of cotton my hands come in contact with.

“Babe?”

I raise my head. Find his gaze in the mirror. “Hmm?”

There’s a smile in his voice when he says, “Your dress is on backward.”

I glance down and sure enough, the tag that should be at the back is sticking up under my chin. Dammit. I quickly take it off and put it back on correctly.

“You okay?” he asks.

I toss the towel in the hamper before padding over to the bed. I crawl between his legs and sit back on mine. “Yeah. I’m okay. You just surprised me, is all.”

“How so?”

“You never…” I wag my head. “Kids? You never struck me as the type who’d be interested in kids.”

A frown forms between his brows and he props up on his elbows again. “What’s that supposed to mean?”

I chew on my bottom lip, contemplating how to go about this. I’m not sure what I’m looking for here. Would it even matter if he’s interested in kids? I’m looking for a donor, not a father. 

“Don’t take this the wrong way,” I say, “but you’re kind of…unstable.”

When he raises a censorious brow at me, I blurt out, “See? You’re taking it the wrong way.”

As he opens his mouth to speak, I hold up a hand to stop him, “Wait, let me explain.”

He nods and lies back down.

“What I mean is, you do a lot. And I mean, a lot. You’re sort of all over the place, you know?” I pause and twist my lips. “For instance, I’ve been here for the past four days and I’ve hardly seen you. You’re not exactly…predictable, you know? And that’s totally fine. But people like that don’t usually talk babies.” 

Hoping he doesn’t feel offended, I bite my lip and wait. But he merely studies me, his silver gaze roaming over my face.

Finally, he asks, “Do you want a baby?”

I blink. Then again. And again. Why does it feel as if he’s giving me a chance to come clean?

“Well, I, uh, I’ve never actually thought about it.” I pick imaginary lint off the sheets. “Would you, um, want to have a baby with me?”

He bites one side of his bottom lip. “Nah.”

What? After all—

“I’d want a family with you,” he says. “Not a baby-mama. The woman who’ll be having my babies, will also have my last name.”

Welp. There you go. I was right. He wouldn’t have gone for it, wouldn’t have agreed to give up all claims to the baby. He wants the real deal. The full package. None of my nonsense

We sit there staring at each other for so long it starts to feel uncomfortable. Mercifully, the quiet is soon punctured by the screech of a phone. My phone.

That’s my father’s ring tone.

Grateful for the interruption, I lurch off the bed and scramble to the dresser for my phone. “Hey, Daddy.”

“‘Rena.” He sounds strange. “Did you move it?”

“Move what?”

“The brooch.”

I go still. “No. I didn’t. It’s exactly where it’s always been.”

“Sweetheart…it’s not here.”

“That doesn’t make any sense, Daddy. No one knew where that was hidden. Not even you until I told you just last night.”

“They’re here, ‘Rena.” The stress in his voice is palpable. “They are refusing to sign the papers until they get it.”

Shit. Shit. Shit.

“Okay, um… Stall them. I’m on my way.” I’m already in the closet, grabbing shoes and my handbag. “Tell them you’re waiting on me, that you won’t start anything without me there, or something. Alright?”

A long pause. “’Rena, are you sure—”

“Yes, Daddy. I can face them,” I assure him. “I’m alright now. Khol took good care of me. Just stall them.”

“Okay.” A longer pause. “Okay.”

He’s reluctant to hang up, so I do it for him and promptly call an Uber. He’s concerned for me. The last time those two demons showed up, it led me to sleepless nights and a nervous breakdown.

But I will give those assholes no more power over me. If I have to dig into my trust-fund to get rid of them, I will. Whatever it takes to get them out of our goddamn lives for good.

“Everything alright?” Kholton asks when I plop down at the edge of the bed to strap on a pair of slippers.

“Yeah,” I clip. “Family stuff.”

I’d told him about my biological parents showing up, but I hadn’t divulged why they resurfaced. Not only is it none of his business, but it’s also embarrassing. Being blackmailed, especially about something so deeply personal, is not something you go around telling people. “I have to go, though.”

“I understand that it’s a family matter.” He gets out of bed and treks over to the chest-of-drawers. “But is everything alright?”

“Yeah, yeah, things are fine,” I lie. “Just a minor setback with an important issue.”

Grabbing my handbag, I beeline for the door, but he intersects me.

Impatient, I stare up at him, waiting for him to speak.

He doesn’t. He just gazes down at me with this strange expression, and then slams his lips to mine. No warning.

I’m irritated at first, but then I kiss him back. Because, well, he’s Kholton. He’s everything for me.

Breaking the kiss, he sweeps a lock of hair behind my ear, silver eyes everywhere on my face, as if taking mental snapshots.

“Khol, I have to—”

“Your Uber isn’t here yet.”

“We can’t know that from up here,” I argue.

“Do you feel anything for me, Serena?”

What? Why is he asking me this now? “What?”

“Tell me,” he demands. “I need it before you go.”

“Why?” I ask. “Why now?”

“Because now is the only time we have.”

What does that even mean? “Do you feel anything for me?” I return the question instead of answering.

“Yes.” He doesn’t even hesitate. “Everything and anything possible for one human being to feel for another human being, I feel it for you.”

Wow. “Even hate?”

“More like resentment,” he admits.

Understandable. I resent him sometimes, too.

“So, do you?” he nudges, head bent, waiting for the answer.

Yes. Everything and anything possible for one human being to feel for another human being, I feel it for you.

Uneasy, I shift on my feet. “Can we talk about this some other time, please? I really need to go.”

His silver eyes turn to black ice. “You’re the most selfish fucking person I’ve ever met in my entire fucking life,” he growls at me. “And we live in New York!”

I jerk back, slapped by his sudden outburst. “What? What did I do? What’s your problem?”

“You are my problem.” He takes a step back from me. “It’s always about you, Serena. Always about you and what you want.”

He turns away from me and shoves his hand through his hair. “You’re a taker, Serena. That’s what you are. You just take and take and take and you never give. And I’m so goddamn gone over you that I just let you. Shit, I don’t even recognize myself anymore.”

He’s ‘gone over me’? Since when?

Maybe if I wasn’t so consumed with the two biological problems waiting at home right now, I’d be able to see through what all this is about. But at this juncture, I have to choose between Kholton and my father. And I choose my father.

“What do you want me to say, Khol?”

“Nothing,” he replies with his back to me. “It’s too late anyway.”

Huh? What’s too late?

There’s a knock at the door. I go to answer it and find Brian on the other side.

“Hey, Serena.” He gives me a small smile. A kind smile. And if that’s not odd, I don’t know what is. The only time this dickhead smiles—or rather grins—at me, is when he’s mocking me. Here, he’s almost…nice. “You called an Uber?”

“Yeah, it’s here?”

He jerks a nod and moves aside for me to pass him.

Kholton turns and starts to follow me through the door. “Serena.”

“I’ll call you when I get home, okay?” I tell him over Brian’s shoulder.

He makes to come after me again, but Brian puts a hand to his chest and shoves him back into the room. “Let her go, man. It’s done.”

Our eyes lock over Brian’s shoulder. He seems…apologetic. Anxious.

Brian steps into the room and begins to slowly ease the door shut, so as not to slam it in my face. “We need to talk.”

We hold each other’s gazes until the door clicks shut and all I’m staring at is wood.

That sound, the click of the door, is suddenly the most ominous sound I’ve ever heard. Something is wrong. I feel as if I should be worried, as if I should go back in there and tell him how I truly feel about him instead of being such a coward.

My heart has always belonged to my father. Even when I was with Max. Now? My heart is split into two pieces, one significantly larger than the other. That larger piece is owned solely by Kholton Sharpe.

I’ve never had to choose before. Yet here I am, doing the exact same thing that Max did to me: Choosing loyalty over love.