Chapter Ten
Darya hurried up the steps to her apartment, Knox’s heavier footsteps sounding on the concrete pads behind her with the same driving punch as her heart. God, what a night. Four glorious hours of comfortable interaction with wonderful people, fantastic music and enough delicious food to make her belly ache. Not since before she’d left Russia had she had so much fun. Simply let loose without fear of who might see her. But with Knox’s family it was easy. As if within their presence, her past couldn’t penetrate and sully the moment.
Pausing outside her door, she dug in her purse for her keys.
Knox slid up beside her, slipped them from between her fingers and wedged himself between her and the door. Unerringly, he flipped to the right key and slid it into the deadbolt. “You have plans for tomorrow?”
Her heart tripped at the question, the same staggering response as when he’d intervened between her and Seth and all but claimed her with a touch. For a man who verbally insisted anything sexual was off-limits, his actions from the moment she’d opened the door to him had conveyed an entirely different desire. “No.”
He pushed the door wide, handed her back her keys and stole inside ahead of her, sharply assessing her living room. “Good. I’m sending Danny over before noon to change out your deadbolts.” He held up a hand for her to wait. “Stay here. Let me check the rest of the place.”
“Why?”
He stopped long enough to frown back at her. “You might not have said it outright, but it’s clear you’re running from something or someone. I’m not bringing you home and leaving you here without making sure you’re safe before I go.”
Well, damn. She’d hoped him following her inside meant he’d decided to waver his no-sex-with-employees policy. And while she appreciated him looking out for her, she needed help taking the edge off the burn he’d created with his heated looks and casual touches way more than she needed a security team. “No, I meant the locks. They’re perfectly fine. Why change them?”
He flipped on the light in her bathroom and strode inside. The swish of her metal shower curtain rings echoed out of the tiny space. “They’re not fine. You need bumpless locks at least.” He reappeared, flicked his attention to her briefly before moving to her bedroom door. “You could use a security system, too, but I’ll have to sweet-talk your landlord before I can make that happen.”
“Bumpless?”
He disappeared into her room without answering and a second later light from her bedside lamp spilled out of the opening.
Ignoring his command to stay put, she padded across her living room, too drawn by the promise of seeing him in her private space to do as she was told. She rounded the corner in time to find him on the far side of the room staring down at her bed, his mouth clenched in a firm line and his hand fisted at his side.
His gaze sliced to hers. “Thought I told you to wait.”
She shrugged. “I was curious. Besides, this isn’t the first time I’ve come home alone and it won’t be the last. I can take care of myself.”
He cocked his head and prowled a few steps toward her. “Curiosity can be a dangerous thing. Leads you into places and tempts you with things you shouldn’t know.”
“Like?”
“Like knowing what you keep under your bed and being all too capable of picturing you splayed on those sheets and using them to get off.”
She gasped and took a jagged step back, one hand pressed against her chest to still the jackrabbit rhythm of her heart. No way had he had enough time to see what she kept stored in her box. To see it, yes. But to take inventory, no. “How did you—”
“Like I said. Bumpless locks. You need some. Bad.”
The Post-its.
He’d been the one to move them. And if he’d been at her desk then that meant... “You broke into my place. Looked at everything.”
His mouth curled in a wicked smile, not the least bit repentant. “No one gets close to my family without me knowing everything there is to know about them. You came clean with my brothers tonight, so I’m returning the favor now. And before you get too fired up about me invading your privacy, there’s not one person on mine or the brotherhood’s payroll with the potential of getting close to our records who doesn’t get the same sweep. The only difference between you and them, is you actually know it happened.”
She swallowed, her mouth too dry to do the job properly. “Then why tell me?”
“Because you’re vulnerable. How much so, I’m still waiting for you to share, but the best way I can help you is to lay it out so you’ll be more inclined to let me help you fix it.”
Her files. She had to have at least a dozen articles solely about him. “You knew I’d been researching you.”
“I knew you had a lot of stories with me in them, yeah. Why you had them, I didn’t have a clue.”
“And JJ?”
“I knew you weren’t her and that you had some kind of relationship with the real person before you assumed her name. Other than that, I figure you’ll share when you’re ready.” He paused, his mouth hardening to the point a muscle near his jaw twitched. “You don’t like the way we operate, then now’s your chance to bail.”
And there it was. The honor she’d sensed in him from the beginning. Laying out who he was in the simplest terms. Take it or leave it. Maybe for someone else it would have been frightening, but after her years with Yefim—living and working with insanely powerful men capable of staring down a gun without so much as a wince—it was strangely comforting. A way of life she not only understood, but navigated easily. “Knowledge is power.”
“Knowledge is everything. Especially when it comes to keeping the people I love safe.”
She took a cautious step forward, anchoring herself in the moment with a loose grip on the doorjamb beside her. “Then you’ll understand my question.”
A wariness moved across his face, but he squared his shoulders just the same. “What question?”
She licked her lower lip. Need blossomed through her and blood rushed wild and frantic through her veins. To cover it, she stepped fully into the room and leaned her shoulders against the wall, crossing her arms beneath her breasts. “Why won’t you let yourself go with me?”
His gaze dropped to her mouth. “Don’t go there.”
“Why not? You’re attracted to me. I felt it. You intercepted another man’s advances, not just with words but with touch.”
“I wasn’t stopping him.”
“Really? In Russia, a man only intercedes and lays his hands on a woman as both a challenge and a claim.”
“I was giving you a choice.”
“And I made it. I want you.” She pushed off the wall and strolled toward him, channeling all the longing and desire she’d fought from the first day she’d seen him into the gentle sway of her hips. Excitement and certainty sparked hot beneath her skin.
“No, you don’t. As choices go, I’m a worse bet than Seth.”
“Why?”
“Because I don’t do monogamy and I damned sure don’t do relationships.”
“What do you do?”
He held his ground, the gray of his eyes deepening with every step. “I fuck and make sure the women I’m with get off as much or more than I do.”
She stopped just an arm’s reach away, the impact of his carnal claim slicing straight to her core. Her answer came out ragged and breathless. “Okay.”
Tension radiated off him, bonfire quality heat pouring into her and stoking her courage. “You don’t mean that.”
“Yes, I do.” She pressed her shoulders back, drawing his attention to her breasts. Beneath his ravenous gaze they grew heavier, craving his touch. “Relationships aren’t a good idea for me either.”
“Because you’re running.”
“Was running. For now, I’m living. Every moment to the fullest.”
His gaze shot to hers, the keen awareness behind his eyes piercing through her. “What’s that supposed to mean?”
“It means I made someone a promise. Promised them I’d live enough for both of us.”
“You mean JJ.”
Darya nodded, a slow confirmation and reaffirmation of her vow all at once. She took his hand and guided it to her heart. Beneath his palm her heart thrummed a demanding beat. “Any day—in a second—that rhythm could stop. I want to live. To feel. I don’t want a single regret chasing me into the grave. Especially not this one.”
She flattened her hand over his and inched closer, pressing her free hand against his chest and savoring the matching beat she found. His warm breath fluttered against her skin and his wine and woodsmoke scent coiled around her in a daring embrace. This was right. Worth every risk. “I’ve made my choice. Now you need to make yours.”