CHAPTER SEVENTEEN
TESSIE WASN’T SURE what she dreaded more—that her mother would come to the door or that she wouldn’t. Her mom had to be just as angry as she was worried.
And Tessie couldn’t blame her.
She was feeling that, too, but she thought her mom might believe that she was the winner of this round of worry and anger. She’d left her mom high and dry with no explanation as to the craziness going on in her heart, and now Tessie owed her some answers.
Too bad Tessie wasn’t sure she had answers just yet.
Thankfully, she didn’t have to wait long to find out whether or not her mom would come to the door. Within seconds after Tessie had called out to her, Eve did her own calling out.
“Tessie?” Her mother followed that with what sounded to be a string of Oh, Gods. That was mixed with other sounds of footsteps and someone scrambling around in the apartment.
Tessie put her ear to the door to try to figure out what was going on, but just as she did that, the door flew open, and she came face-to-face with two very disheveled people. Her mom’s dress was hiked up on one side because it was tucked into the waist of her red panties, and the cowboy had missed several buttons on his shirt. Adding in some seriously messed-up hair and her mom’s flushed face, and Tessie was pretty sure she’d interrupted them having sex.
Great. Nothing like a side order of embarrassment to go with all the other emotions that were sloshing around.
Just as she’d done outside the bar in Wrangler’s Creek, her mom hugged her, and she held on a lot longer than last time even though Tessie went stiff again. The cowboy just stayed back and watched. Tessie watched him, too.
And she saw the same resemblance she had before.
So, was he her father?
He’d been her mom’s boyfriend back in high school, so the timing also fit. Tessie had done the math, and he could have gotten her mother pregnant shortly before she moved to LA. But Lawson wasn’t the only guy she’d heard her mom talk about. There was Brett, who’d died, and whenever her mother had mentioned him, she’d gotten all teary. Maybe it had been some kind of love triangle that had ended in a bad way.
Her mom finally pulled back from the hug, and after a really short pause, the questions started. “Where were you? Why did you run away? And when and why did you start drinking? Have you lost your mind?”
They were all questions Tessie had expected, but before she could even try to answer them, her mother continued. “You scared me,” she said, her voice quivering and tears threatening in her eyes. “I was terrified that you were hurt, or worse. Why would you do that?”
Tessie sighed, and since this conversation could go on for a while, she stepped inside. And also because she couldn’t talk with her mom’s panties showing, Tessie glanced at the messed-up clothes again.
“I see London, I see France...” Tessie muttered just loud enough for her mother to hear.
Her mom huffed when she saw that her “red flag” panties had been exposed. She fixed her dress and blushed again. However, even the embarrassment didn’t stop the anger from creeping into her mom’s eyes.
Tessie braced herself for yet another round of questions, but her mother only asked one.
“Why?” Her mom’s voice wasn’t exactly a friendly invitation, more like a demand. The cowboy was demanding, too, with his body language though he didn’t say a word.
So, Tessie gave them an answer though it was one she doubted they’d like much. “I screwed up.”
No, they didn’t like it. Their frowns confirmed it.
They probably wanted her to start gushing out her feelings and swear to them that she’d changed and that none of this would ever happen again. They wanted everything wrapped up so they could feel happy. And part of Tessie wanted to give them that. Mainly so they would back off and quit worrying. But this wasn’t something that could be fixed with an “I’m okay now.”
“Why don’t we sit down and talk,” Tessie suggested. She looked at Lawson. “Maybe you can fix me a rum and Coke?” she joked.
Tessie had thought her mom could have angry eyes, but Lawson was clearly the champion of that particular skill.
“Obviously, I was just kidding,” Tessie added when neither of them smiled. Also obviously, it was too soon for her to try to make light of this. Maybe four decades from now would still be too soon.
“How’d you know Eve and I were here?” Lawson asked her.
“Mom texted me the address. I didn’t know you’d be here, too.” Best not to mention that she’d expected to find her mom crying and worrying instead of looking as if she’d just had a couple of rounds of hot sex.
They went into the living room, where there were no signs of sex, thank goodness, and Tessie sat on the sofa. Her mom sat, too, next to her, but Lawson stayed standing with his arms folded over his chest. Evidently, he thought he had a right to be part of this. And maybe he did.
“Why?” Tessie repeated to give herself a moment to try to calm down her nerves. Clearly though, that wasn’t going to happen. “Look, let me just say that I know I’m grounded. Maybe for life. Maybe even longer.”
“You deserve to be grounded,” her mom said. She had stopped being in a hugging, relief frame of mind.
Tessie nodded, and since she wasn’t sure where to start with this, she looked up at Lawson. “I’m guessing you remember the day you saw me drunk at the sorority house?” She didn’t wait for him to confirm it because, yeah, he remembered. “Well, that was the first time I’d ever had anything to drink. It was one drink, a margarita, and I think it’s accurate to say that I don’t handle my liquor well.”
She couldn’t tell if they believed her about that being her first time. Probably not. But it was the truth. Well, almost the truth. She hadn’t even managed to finish the entire glass before she’d gotten shit-faced.
“Who were the two puking clowns with you?” Lawson snarled. Actually, his expression and body language were a snarl, as well.
“They’re just some people I used to hang out with.” Maybe he wouldn’t ask for their names since she’d added the used to, as in she didn’t hang out with them any longer. “The other girl was the one who fixed the drinks from stuff she got from someone she knew who lived up the street. The guy is...was her boyfriend.”
“And where exactly were you going with these two puking clowns?” That didn’t come from Lawson but rather her mom.
Tessie gave a weary sigh because no way were they going to believe this. “The other girl had thrown up in the room, and the smell was god-awful. We were going outside for some fresh air, but when we got on the elevator, the motion made us feel even sicker. Trust me, I’ve learned my lesson about tequila.”
This was usually about the time when she would have added some humor—her go-to response when things got uncomfortable. Like now. But Tessie doubted there was any humor that was going to make this better.
“You went to rehab,” her mom said. Apparently, they were moving on to the second part of “things that had gotten Tessie’s butt in trouble.”
Tessie nodded and knew this was going to hurt. “I went because I panicked when I figured Lawson had told you about seeing me drunk. But the panic isn’t why I went to rehab. It’s because my first reaction was to have another drink.”
Her mom huffed. “I thought you said you’d learned your lesson.”
“I did...about tequila. My panicking mind was leaning more toward a beer. Something to settle my nerves. Which obviously wasn’t a good way to think, considering the other incident. So, I figured I could check myself into rehab to avoid seeing you and that I would also avoid being tempted to drink a beer. I didn’t think there’d be many opportunities for getting drunk in rehab.”
Oh, yes. Her go-to humor had not gone down well.
“You didn’t stay in rehab though,” Lawson pointed out. “Why not and where did you go?”
Tessie nodded again. “After my mental health exam and a boatload of personal questions, the worker was escorting me to my room, and I saw these other people. I think they were going through withdrawals or something. They looked bad. And I started to realize that I no longer had the least bit of desire for a beer or any other booze. So, I left and went to stay with a friend.”
There it was—all the dumb she’d done, including but not limited to worrying the heck out of her mother. It made her sound like one of those privileged, wimpy kids in California that she’d hated. She had always sworn she wouldn’t become one of them, but here she was talking about getting drunk, rehab and running away.
She wasn’t just one of them now. She was the reigning princess of privileged, wimpy kids. And she saw what she believed to be disgust in Lawson’s eyes. She didn’t have to guess about the look in her mom’s eyes though.
That was all hurt.
Tessie wanted to reach out to her and hug her, but there was still so much between them. Well, one thing, anyway. The lie that made her mom the reigning queen of liars in the Cooper household. As much as she wanted to forget that, Tessie just couldn’t.
She wasn’t the person she’d always thought she was. She wasn’t Eve Cooper’s adopted daughter. The child who was lucky enough to have been chosen by someone as beautiful and idolized as Eve.
Instead, she was the secret that her mom had tried to hide from her fans.
And now maybe she was trying to hide it from Lawson, too.
Tessie glanced at both of them, trying to figure how what she was about to say would go over with them. It’d be like the failed humor, but Tessie had to try to see if she could make some sense out of this. She didn’t expect to get this new perspective from her mom, either.
But rather from a glaring cowboy who didn’t seem to have a fatherly bone in his body.
Tessie slid her hand over her mom’s, hoping it would soften the mood a bit. “I’d like to talk to Lawson alone for a few minutes. Is that okay?”
She might as well have asked if it was okay if she threw the cowboy out the window. “Why?” her mother pressed.
Oh, this was going to get touchy. If Tessie told her she was going on a paternity fishing expedition, no way would her mom agree. She might even blurt out everything. And if Lawson didn’t know, this was not the way for him to find out.
Since there’d been enough lies, Tessie didn’t want to go that route. “I just want to ask him some things. Please. It won’t take long.”
Tessie could practically hear the debate her mom was having with herself, but as usual, the please worked. Tessie could thank Cassidy for that. Her nanny–keeper of her mom’s secrets had always told her please could open lots of doors. In this case, it closed one. Because her mom nodded—hesitantly though—and slowly walked to one of the rooms off the hall, went in and shut the door.
“She’ll try to listen,” Tessie and Lawson said at the same time.
Since they were right, Tessie took hold of his arm, leading him to the kitchen, where she turned on the exhaust fan over the stove, both faucets on the sink and the garbage disposal. From there, she led him to the fancy copper-framed mirror in the foyer.
While they stood side by side, their reflections said it all. Of course, Tessie couldn’t help but add more.
“I learned in science that a kid inherits fifty percent of their DNA from their mom and fifty percent from their dad. What percentage of your DNA do you think it took to give me this face?”
His jaw tightened. “Enough of it.”
When she’d tossed out that question, Tessie hadn’t actually prepared herself for an answer. Or for the truth. But Lawson hadn’t pulled any punches.
“At least now I know,” she said. “How long have you known?” She didn’t move. Neither did he. They just continued to stare at each other in the mirror.
“I found out two days ago,” he snarled. “According to some people, I’m not very bright to have missed the family resemblance before then.”
“And, of course, my mom wasn’t jumping up and down to tell you. She lied to both of us.”
He swiveled toward her so fast that Tessie heard joints snap. “Don’t put this all on your mom.”
Great. He was defending her. That meant everybody who knew Eve was on her side when it came to this. Ironic, since it affected Tessie more than anyone else.
Tessie rolled her eyes at the same time he did, and she was reasonably sure the gesture was identical. It was creepy.
“You’re going to give her a free pass for keeping you in the dark about being a father,” Tessie said, tossing it out there.
“No. I’m not giving her a pass, but I’m sure as heck not giving you one, either. Yeah, she was wrong not to tell you the truth, but you’ll run into liars and worse in your life. That’s no excuse to act like a jackass.”
Well, she’d just gotten her first fatherly lecture, and she didn’t like it much. Of course, there wasn’t much she liked about this situation.
“I should have known it was you,” Tessie went on. “The only two guys she ever talked about were Brett and you.”
Oh, no. Lawson didn’t get teary-eyed, but he did go all gloom and doom on her. “What do you know about Brett?”
“More than Mom probably wants me to know. I read the newspaper articles about him on the internet. There was an inquest, and Mom, you and a whole bunch of other people were questioned.” She paused, wondering just how far she should push this. Tessie went for broke. “Was Mom responsible somehow for Brett dying?”
He stayed quiet so long that Tessie thought he might not answer. “No,” he finally said. “I was.”
Lawson stepped away from her, heading back into the living room. She followed to ask him more. Not just about Brett but also about, well, them. Maybe he wanted nothing more to do with her, but if so, Tessie needed to know, and it seemed as if Lawson would tell her the truth. No matter how much it stung.
But before she could ask him anything else, her mom came out of the room. She went straight to the kitchen, turned off all the noise-making devices, and then she whirled around to face Tessie. For a moment, Tessie was going to ask her what Lawson and she talked about. She didn’t.
“I’ve decided what’s going to happen,” her mom said, and it was definitely her mom tone, coupled with a mom look. “You’re moving to Wrangler’s Creek with me. You can commute to your classes, and I’ll hire a driver to take you back and forth. You’ll have no contact whatsoever with the girl who gave you that margarita. And you’ll go to counseling.”
Whoa.
Tessie had guessed that her mom would try to come down hard on her, but she hadn’t seen this coming. She wanted to ask and what if I don’t? In fact, the words nearly leaped right out of her mouth before Lawson shook his head. It seemed to be some kind of warning not to push this.
“Come on,” her mom said, grabbing her purse. “We’re leaving right now.”