CHAPTER TWENTY-SEVEN

“Noelle.”

Something beckoned her. The sound was like a whisper in the fog, but she couldn’t be quite sure of the noise because the wind over it was too loud and her ears were plugged or something.

“Noelle? She’s not waking. Why isn’t she waking?”

Not just sounds, words, spoken by a deep and stately voice.

“… so close to winter.” Another voice. A female.

Where am I?

“This is normal, then?” he asked.

Noelle’s arms hurt. She thought someone was gripping them, but how could they be? She was made of mist and rainbows. No one could touch her.

“Normal? No-o,” the woman’s voice said.

Noelle knew that voice. That voice was Jenny. Jenny … did things for her? The best Noelle could remember, she was a friend—or at least not an enemy.

“I think she’s a bit more out of it than normal,” Jenny said.

“Because of what she did,” returned the deeper voice. “Noelle?” the male asked.

She put a hand up to shield her eyes from the bright moonlight that suddenly appeared and squinted toward the horizon. Who the hell was that calling her?

Shrugging, she heaved up her bag, slid her sword of daisies into its scabbard, and got moving toward the castle. She’d been away too long and she’d left a dim bulb in charge of Clarissa’s security. Shaking her head, she clucked her tongue. Unacceptable. She’d be happy she even had a job when she got back to the castle. She’d left to …

Noelle stopped.

There was no castle anymore. So why was there a castle in the distant heath?

Setting down the bag, which wasn’t actually a bag at all, but just air, she dropped onto one knee and rubbed her eyes.

Come on. Get it together. Where am I?

She’d been dreaming of steaming hot coffee and those little balls of cake on sticks that were rolled in frosting and sprinkles. They were so good, and she could handle a few calories. She was a long-lived thing. She had time to exercise off the fluff.

Or do I?

She’d … done something. Given something away.

There was no castle in the distance when she opened her eyes, just darkness.

She felt that punishing grip on her arms again.

“Noelle?” That was Jenny’s voice. “Wake up, Noe.”

Noelle kept blinking, but the darkness didn’t abate.

“Give her a minute,” Jenny said. “Takes a bit to shake off the murk.”

“Can she see us? She looks like she can’t see us.”

That was Tamatsu’s voice. Noelle furrowed her brow, remembering. She’d hidden from him so he couldn’t give her back his—their voice.

She pulled in a breath and put her hand to her throat.

Is it really gone?

“No, she probably can’t see us yet. Have to wait for the veil to pull away. When we go into our heavy sleeps during the winter, our minds often slip back.”

“Back to where, Jenny?”

“Into the Otherworld. I mean, we can’t stay there. It’s not sustainable and everything there seems absurd, but when we’re asleep, we can’t help if our consciousness drifts there. After all, we were born there.”

“Is the place dangerous?”

Jenny didn’t respond.

Noelle squeezed her eyes shut, rubbed them hard, and let out a breath.

Need to wake up.

“Jenny,” Tamatsu warned.

“Dangerous? Well, no, not for someone with magic as assertive as Noelle’s or Clarissa’s. The rest of us have to take special precautions.”

“Such as?”

“Wearing certain charms and amulets to sleep. They stink like hell, but at least I don’t scare myself to death, right?”

“I imagine living is preferable.”

At the press of a warm hand to her cheek—a large one—there came a gasp.

Mine?

Noelle put her hand over the flesh, nuzzling it.

“Why is she so cold?” Tamatsu asked.

“She’s conserving energy. She hasn’t eaten in, what, three weeks?”

“Get her something.”

“I’ll see what I can find. My, I haven’t been to this place in ages. I didn’t realize she owned property right here. Tricky of her. This is near where we all came out of the realm.”

“Is it?”

“The portal between the realms opened in that large mound out in the field.”

Soft footsteps retreated, and Noelle felt herself propped up, and then warmth behind her.

A body at her back. His.

He pulled covers up over her hips and leaned her head against his chest. “Can you not wake up?”

She moved the hand she had pressed against her neck to her lap. She tried forcing some air down and activating her diaphragm, but no sound came out. Even touching him, she couldn’t speak.

“I’m trying,” she said via the telepathic route. “Hard to shake it off.”

“Why did you do this?”

“Don’t ask me questions you already know the answers to, my stōr. You’ll just get annoyed with me, and I’m too tired for you to be annoyed with me.”

“Noelle, you didn’t have to do this.”

“Yes, I did. The scales had to be balanced, and I’d much rather balance them myself than wait for karma to do it for me. I wanted it to be my choice. Choice makes losing things easier.”

She blinked some more and made out the silhouette of Jenny on the other side of the cottage. She must have been fussing with the stove.

“You should never be left alone again,” Tamatsu thought at her. “You can’t be trusted.”

“True.”

“What am I going to do with you?”

“You mean me, the elf who can’t talk? That would be the ideal partner for most knowledgeable people.”

“But I liked the sounds you made, and all your words, too. You took your sounds away from me.”

“I had to. Maybe one day you’ll understand.”

“I understand perfectly well already. I just don’t believe you should have done it.”

“My choice. You’re stronger now.”

“And you’re far weaker. Where’s my warrior?”

Am I still that?

Noelle had no way of knowing yet how much she’d given up, but whatever she’d given him had been necessary and overdue. She’d had to make him whole. “I’ll adapt.”

“But you shouldn’t have to. Raising our children will be quite a spectacle with you lacking the ability to properly yell at them.”

“Our … children?”

He twined his fingers through her hair and played with it, stopping her from jerking around to look at him the way she wanted to. “You don’t mind, do you? We’ve never discussed this. Or much of anything.”

They certainly hadn’t. They’d have to and soon because that was how relationships worked—by not making assumptions and punishing without discussion. They required communication and … forgiveness.

Children, though.

They were a kind of battle she hadn’t trained for, but she thought she was ready. She wasn’t getting any younger, after all.

She emitted a silent bark of laughter. “I suppose I’ll have to learn modern parenting techniques. Perhaps I’ll master Clarissa’s queenly glare, and that’ll be enough.” Rubbing her eyes again, she had a thought. “Where’s John? I do hope you didn’t hurt him. He was only doing what he was told, and he didn’t harm anyone.”

“John went home to his wife. I’m certain we’ll be having a … conversation later.”

Oh dear. I’d better warn him.

After Noelle blinked several times more, Jenny came into view carrying a brown bowl toward the bed.

“Ah, I think she sees me now!” Jenny said gleefully. She set the bowl on the little table beside the bed. “We couldn’t find you until about an hour ago. Not until you started to stir in your sleep and his psychic radar, or what-have-you, went off.”

Noelle raised both eyebrows at her old friend and let them fall.

“Well.” Jenny plopped her hands onto her hips and clucked her tongue. “We’ll figure something out, won’t we? You’ll be the strong, silent type, and I’ll do all the talking.” She added in a mutter, “I’ve always been good at that, anyway.”

Tamatsu picked up the bowl and brought it slowly to Noelle’s lips. Smelled like soup. She took a tentative sip.

Not too hot, so she swallowed more.

“Ooh! Get a load of this. I’ve been dying to tell you.” Jenny clasped her hands together and her eyes went round with excitement. “I was in Maria earlier listening to Willa rant about Blue and his so-called ‘domineering dogs’ and we passed by an empty storefront. You could have an office there and I could live over it. Has a studio apartment on the second floor. Shortest commute ever. That should make winters much easier, don’t you think?”

Noelle mouthed, “What?” She didn’t know what the hell she was going to do with a storefront.

“For your real estate business, Noelle.”

Oh!

Noelle took another swallow of soup.

“I took some liberties,” Tamatsu said. “The space was up for sale, and someone was about to put an offer in.”

“He totally scooped him,” Jenny said with a cackle.

Noelle peered back at him, eyes narrowed. “With what funds, sir? Did you kill something large that had a valuable pelt?”

Actually, she wasn’t so sure she wanted to know. She liked being able to pretend she didn’t know some things.

“Gulielmus loaned me the money.”

Silent groans were so very unsatisfying. Apparently, she’d have to find a new physical response for disgust.

“I know,” Tamatsu said. “I don’t like owing people favors, either, but he could access the cash quickly and he won’t gloat about it.” He grunted. “Much.”

“Is Clarissa all right? When I last saw her and him, they were …”

Tutting, he put the bowl to her lips again. “Clarissa is fine.”

Jenny cringed and rocked back on her heels. “She’s a survivor, that one. Don’t worry about her, Noe. She’ll get him straightened out, I’m sure of it.” Her expression opened up and brightened in a snap. “Ooh! She’s gonna visit Maria soon. She has some friends in town. We can all go out cavorting like old times.”

Noelle snorted silently, and wondered if it was actually a good thing that people couldn’t hear the multitude of rude sounds she tended to make.

“Anyhow.” Jenny rocked back onto her heels again and a gentle smile spanned her lips. “I’d best go find out what about that closing date.”

“Have you forgotten that I need to carry you?” Tamatsu asked.

Jenny closed one eye and rolled the other. “I did.”

He set down the soup bowl, bundled Noelle tightly in her nest of blankets, and stood with her. “We’ll all go. I’ll set you down in Maria and I’ll carry her to her place in Vegas. Give Tarik a poke later if you need to move around.”

“Aye, aye. Let me just check that cookstove.”

Jenny ensured that the fire in the stove was out, and then joined Tamatsu and Noelle in the corner. She hooked an arm around his, and nodded.

Tamatsu whisked them into Lola’s salon in Maria.

Or at least, Noelle thought he did.

She arrived a split second before them and hit the hard floor tailbone first.

“Fuck!” she shouted, but of course, there was no sound from her. Still hurt her throat the same as if she had yelled.

There were plenty of laughing sounds from Tamatsu, though, who scooped her up.

The goddess, knitting in the corner, furrowed her brow.

“Did you teleport ahead of me?” he asked Noelle.

“Did I?” Her sore ass certainly felt like she’d done something unexpected like that. She was undernourished and her usual padding was gone. She couldn’t even rub the damned thing because there were witnesses.

He scoffed. “What else are you borrowing from me through the tether?”

“I …” She gave her head a wild shake. “I honestly have no idea.” More things she wasn’t sure she wanted to know yet, but she’d need to find out soon. If she were drawing on power from someone as dangerous as Tamatsu, she could accidently hurt people. She preferred to only hurt people on purpose, and only the people she’d chosen.

“Huh.”

Jenny hurried over to them, squealing, and thumped Noelle’s arm. “Ooh, fun! New tricks, huh? I wonder what else will pop up the longer you’re together. Maybe you’ll even get your voice back.”

Noelle wasn’t going to hold her breath, but it was nice idea.

“Hey, want to come with me?” Jenny asked. “I need to talk to that odd duck who sold us the shop.”

Lola grimaced and set down her needles. “I suppose I’d best escort you and do what I can to divert him. He’s been spreading rumors about people materializing out of thin air.” She gave Tamatsu a scathing look, and then peered at Noelle, bundled in her blankets.

Noelle wriggled her eyebrows at her and worked her hand free enough to give her a finger wave over the top.

Lola gave her one of those goddess nods that could have meant everything or absolutely nothing.

Noelle didn’t have time to ponder which, because Tamatsu whisked her away.

“Not you. You rest.” He laid her down on her bed, peeled away the blanket and her robe, and whisked all that material to the closet—likely to the hamper. “Going to bathe you, feed you, and …”

She raised a brow. “Seduce me?”

He cleared his throat and retreated into the bathroom. The sound of water pelting the tub bottom thundered, and he emerged with his shirtsleeves rolled up to expose muscular forearms.

He pressed his hands to the bed’s edge for a moment and stared at her.

She stared back, not knowing what else to do.

“Odd, not being hungry all the time,” he said. “Odd being able to decide that I can eat later instead of right now.”

She walked her fingers over to one of his hands. “And have sex later?”

She didn’t understand her fixation on the matter, but she was going to roll with it.

He shrugged. “If I ravage you, it’s because you want and need me to, and not because I have to.”

“When you ravage me, then.” She grinned.

The last thing she needed was to be thinking about sex when she could hardly hold her head up straight, but he was so pretty, and his voice … did things to her. She tugged her lower lip between her teeth and wriggled her eyebrows at him.

“Behave.”

“No.” She danced her fingertips up his arm and shoulder, and over to his collar. She pulled him close and pressed her lips to his—barely a touch, not really a kiss. “And just so you know, I’d do it again and again. If your hunger returns, I’ll push it back.”

“I won’t let you.”

“You can’t stop me. I don’t mind sleeping for a couple of weeks if that’ll make you comfortable exponentially longer.”

Tamatsu grunted and kissed her before lifting her. “I don’t want to lose you for weeks at a time. Even if you recover from the gifts, I don’t like the idea of you carving off part of yourself for me.”

“I’m sure you’ll find ways of occupying yourself. Time will fly.”

He bent and turned off the water in the tub. After testing the temperature with his hand, he set her into the bath and peeled off his own clothing.

Once he’d settled himself into the water behind her, legs bent, and knees jutting from the surface, she added, “I’m happy with the way things are. Truly. I wanted to give that to you. I wanted to show you what you meant to me.”

He kissed the top of her head and stirred his hand in the water in front of her. “And so now I’ll get to spend forever showing you what you mean to me.”

“Forever.” She shook with unvoiced laughter. “I hardly think it’ll take that long.”

“I know. But I will, anyway, because I love you.”

She couldn’t say it back aloud, but she could still show him with her lips. She turned and kissed his roughly. She grabbed at his cheeks, his hair, his shoulders and sparred with his tongue before dizziness flared and she had to settle back into her cozy spot in front of him.

He chuckled and reached for a washcloth. “Yes, I think you’ll adapt fine to not having a voice. You don’t need to talk if you’re going to kiss like that. Just don’t do that to anyone else. I might have to kill them.”

She sighed, and snorted, not that that anyone could hear either. She really was a rude elf, and—voice or no voice—that wasn’t ever going to change.

Fortunately, her angel didn’t seem to mind one bit.