Chapter Seventeen

Missy

I lay there on the couch staring up at the ceiling, not wanting to move. I got up and showered, grabbed a coffee, and had scones sent to the studio for Eliza. After that, I cleaned up the melted ice-cream-and-tissue disaster that was my living room before plopping back down on the couch and refusing to move. I propped my feet up on the back of the couch and watched the ceiling fan turn in circles. Getting showered and dressed definitely helped to make me feel better, but that pain in my chest was still there, if not worse now. While I was out, I stared at several couples canoodling, whispering, and giggling in the corners. I noticed every single old couple walking hand in hand together and every young couple out on a date in the city. It was almost annoying how much love was circulating around the city at that point, so instead of walking back to the apartment, I took a cab the four blocks home. I almost wanted to shut my eyes every time I passed by a group of people. It was a like a dagger to the heart every time I thought about Mason. I replayed the conversation with Sarah over and over in my head.

Earlier in the morning, Eliza had asked if I wanted to go out to the club that night, but I couldn’t even imagine going to a restaurant at that point, much less a noisy club full of asshole men. When I got back to the apartment from breakfast, I was more than happy to shut the world out and be alone in my dungeon, thinking about everything that was plaguing my mind. I had turned my phone off at the beginning of the day and tossed it in the corner. Mason had texted me about a hundred times, but I didn’t even want to think about reading his messages. Obviously, he got my message but didn’t want to follow along with the whole don’t-call-me thing.

What could he possibly have to say to me to make any of this any better? How could he justify having another woman in his apartment just days after I had left? It was beyond my comprehension how a man could be so coldhearted. It wasn’t like I was some lovestruck girl looking for love wherever I could; I had really given in to Mason’s charms. Well, look where that got me in the end. Around noon, Eliza came up and barged into the apartment, tossing me a vegetarian sub and sitting down at the table across from me.

“How are you feeling?”

“Like someone hit me with a Mack truck,” I responded, picking at my sandwich. “I feel like I’m in some really bad romantic comedy, except at the end the girl does not get the boy.”

“Look,” Eliza said, staring at me. “You may not want to, but you need to get out of the house. You are never going to feel better staring at these four walls. You need to breathe, have a few drinks, dance, and let your hair down for once. You told me yourself that this was a chance for you to become a new person, so you need to start before you lose that motivation.”

“I don’t know,” I sighed. “You know I’m not a big people person.”

“Well, then you need to become one,” she said, biting her sandwich, chewing, then swallowing. “In fact, I am not taking no for an answer. After your last class, we are getting all dolled up and we are hitting the town, hard. I need to see that oomph that you have hidden inside of you, and I need to see it soon. You cannot continue to walk around like a deer in headlights.”

“Fine,” I replied, pouting. “But I don’t want to wear heels.”

“At this point, I don’t care if you wear sneakers—you are going out,” she replied, rolling up her paper. “And by the way, sneakers aren’t permitted in the club, so that was not an offer to wear them.”

“Damnit.” I snickered.

Eliza rolled her eyes and walked out the door, and back down into the studio. I sat there staring at my sandwich as if it were going to have a conversation with me. I may have been forced to go out tonight, but it was hours away, and that meant until then I could completely veg out and feel sorry for myself. I put my sandwich in the fridge, not feeling hungry enough to actually eat it. Then, I jumped onto the couch and wadded the pillow up under my head. It was time to watch terrible daytime television and fade in and out of sleep like I did the first week I was out of college.

When seven thirty rolled around, I pulled myself from the couch and jumped in the shower, knowing Eliza would be up in the next thirty minutes. When I got out, I jumped, seeing her standing in my room going through my closet. She had already changed into a tight little hot-pink spandex dress and five-inch heels. Her tiny little frame was so adorable, and her makeup was perfect. She must have gotten ready in the studio bathroom before coming up.

“I’m thinking this black dress and these strappy heels. They’re super sexy,” she said, holding up the outfit.

I grimaced and shuffled across the floor in my towel. I took the outfit from her and grabbed a bra and panties from the drawer before retreating back to the bathroom to get ready. I pulled on the dress and looked at myself in the mirror, pretty impressed with how much better my body looked since the last time I had worn it. I blow-dried and straightened my hair, taking the bobby pins and pulling my bangs into a teased bump on top. Carefully I applied my makeup, wanting to have the sexy and sultry look I often saw online. I darkened my eyes with eyeliner, eye shadow, and mascara and then countered that with bright red lipstick. I thought I looked pretty sexy.

I glanced over at Eliza, who was standing in the doorway tapping her foot and glancing down at her watch. I smiled at her inability to be patient and walked over, grabbing a choker necklace and putting it on. I looked like a completely different woman than I normally did in my yoga pants and tank tops. This was definitely a change for the better, whether I wanted to admit it or not.

“You look smoking hot,” Eliza said with a smile. “Come on, it’s nine forty-five—we need to hit the road. I don’t want to wait in line at the club.”

I grabbed my clutch and followed her out of the apartment and down the stairs. She had called a cab already, and they were waiting on the sidewalk in front of the apartment. As I stepped into the cab, I glanced back at a pair of headlights approaching. I quickly got in and shut the door, listening as Eliza gave the driver directions. Part of me was actually kind of excited for all of this, but the other part of me wanted to go back up, put comfy clothes on, and lounge around the house. I had a feeling that this was more to make Eliza feel better as a friend than to make me forget about Mason.

When the car arrived at the club, I paid the driver and got out, walking up onto the sidewalk with Eliza. I followed along after her as she kissed the bouncer on the cheek and they let us straight into the club. The place was huge with black marble floors, red velvet furniture, and lights that flashed across the entire room. The music bumped loudly, and I could barely hear my own thoughts as we approached the bar. Eliza ordered us both a martini, and we carried them out into the club, watching the people dance on the dance floor. I knew immediately that if I was going to have any fun tonight, I was going to have to drink quite a few of those martinis.

After about three, I stood on the side of the dance floor, moving my hips and watching everyone else go to town. I could see someone approaching from my peripheral, but I didn’t turn until they spoke.

“Can I buy you a drink?”

This guy was gorgeous—I mean model, movie star, Calvin Klein Underwear ad gorgeous. I was instantly nervous staring at his dark hair, brown eyes, and enchanting smile. Instantly, like a buzzkill straight to the heart, Mason’s face flashed through my mind.

“No, thank you,” I said with a smile.

“Well, if you change your mind, come find me,” he said, smiling and turning to walk away.

“Who was that?” Eliza had scooted over beside me as soon as the hot guy had walked away.

“I dunno,” I said, sipping my drink and shrugging.

“You turned him down, didn’t you?” Eliza regarded me sternly. “Missy, how are you supposed to have fun if you’re turning down the hottest guy in the club?”

“Sorry,” I sighed. “I thought of Mason, and it just vomited from my mouth.”

“You need to loosen up,” she said, taking my drink. “Go, dance.”

I groaned as she shoved me out onto the dance floor, but I closed my eyes and started to move with the sound of the music. I was a bit tipsy from the drinks I had downed and found that I kind of enjoyed being out there. I stayed on the dance floor for quite a long time, dancing with Eliza as she alternated between me and some hot guy she was talking up on the side. We drank, giggled, and danced until my knees were weak and sweat was starting to bead up on my forehead. The next song was quite a bit slower than the others, and I opened my eyes, realizing that I was all alone in my own corner on the dance floor. Immediately I felt that ball in my stomach roll right back through, and I stood swaying back and forth, realizing that I wasn’t having as much fun as I thought.

I made my way over to Eliza, who was now basically making out with the guy on the dance floor, and pulled her aside. She smiled at me with a gleam in her eye, and I felt bad for telling her I was going to leave. She leaned in and kissed me on the cheek before I could even say anything.

“It’s okay,” she said. “You can go, I’ll be fine. I’m just glad you gave it a shot.”

“I love you,” I said, kissing her on the forehead. “Call me if you need me.”

Feeling free from the burden of the club, I raced through and out the door, breathing in the cool air as I stepped out into the street. I looked over and grabbed the nearest cab, giving them the directions and leaning back against the chair. I pulled my phone from my purse but didn’t open it, not wanting to pull myself back down into a depression. The entire ride home from Manhattan I thought about Mason and wondered what he was doing at that moment. Instantly I regretted that thought, remembering Sarah standing barefoot in the lobby of his apartment complex. We rounded the corner, and I pulled out the money to pay the cab driver. I tipped him extra for being quick and smiled as I grabbed the handle and stepped out of the cab. I stood on the corner straightening my dress before stepping forward toward my door. As I looked up, I froze.

Sitting on the front stoop, leaned against the door, was Mason, and he looked like a complete wreck.