You came!” Brant blurted loudly, stupidly.
“Yes.” Nikki laughed. “Why are you shouting?”
“I just—” Great start, Brant. Awesome. “Sorry, I was just…” She likes cheesy, so own the cheesy. “…excited.” And it occurred to him that he really was. It wasn’t anger that was pressing against his chest, making him feel like he couldn’t breathe.
It was excitement. Joy.
Huh. Imagine that.
“So? Can I come in?” She smiled brightly at him, and he wondered what she must think of everything.
“Yes.” He clicked the door shut behind her. “I sent Nadine and Grandfather out to a late dinner and bribed the staff to get them drunk. I locked my side of the suite, so if they wander in…I blame God.”
She barked out a laugh. “Noted.”
“Second.” Hell, he was having trouble concentrating as she wet her lips and blinked up at him. “My brothers are off with their wives enjoying the poolside bar—I told both of them if they stepped foot inside this room I’d kill them. The wives gave me their word that they’d distract them, going as far as to take off their clothes so that the guys don’t get any ideas to interrupt us.”
“And what exactly would they be interrupting?”
Here goes. “Date number one. Well, technically it was date four.”
“I’m confused.”
“I’m re-creating your favorite dates. With you.”
Her mouth dropped open. “I don’t know what to say.”
“‘Yes’ would be good.”
She was quiet. Too quiet. His heart sank.
And then she gave a weak nod. “Yes.”
Thank God. “Just so you know, by saying yes you’re agreeing to spending the night with me.”
She tensed.
“Fully clothed.”
She smiled. “We didn’t sleep together on our fourth date?”
“Hell no. I believe I told you when we first met, I don’t just let anyone in my pants.” Wrong thing to say, since lately that was all he’d been doing. But she didn’t miss a beat, simply rolled her eyes. “What? What’s that look?”
“You’re…different.”
“Bad different?”
She shook her head. “Good different.” A deep frown marred her pretty features. “Why are you doing this?”
“I thought that was completely obvious.”
“I’m blind, so…” She lifted her shoulder in a half shrug. “I can’t really read your expression. All I know is you sound lighter, happier.”
“I am.”
“Good.” She almost looked upset about it.
“Because of you.” Because he was with her. Because she said yes. Because suddenly things felt hopeful.
“How so?”
Brant spread his hands across her bare shoulders and ran them up her neck. “You deserve the chance we never had. I want to give that to you. A chance to go on after the b-baby.” He swallowed the thickness in his throat. “After the fire.”
“And…and how are you going to do that?”
“By reminding you why we were so damn good together. Why we fell in love. Why we stayed that way despite everyone telling us we would never make it.” He pressed a kiss to her lips. “I’m seducing you—and giving us closure at the same time.”
“I don’t understand.” She gripped his wrists, her fingers digging painfully into his skin. “You’re seducing me and giving me closure?”
“I define our relationship as before the accident. Because after? After, we were nothing, we were too broken, too damaged. There was never an after. Only a before. I’m giving us the after. And I’m giving you the choice you never had.”
A tear slid down her cheek, colliding with his hand. “And if I walk away in the end?”
His heart twisted inside his chest. “Then that’s your choice. But now, at least you have one.”
She nodded. “This is pretty heavy for a first date, you know.” Her smile was back, but it was forced.
“Well, you’re the one who asked.” He leaned in to kiss her again, only to have her pull away at the last moment. He knew it wouldn’t be easy, but he just wanted to taste her, to make her understand that he wasn’t going anywhere, not unless she wanted him to.
Brant sighed, then pulled away and reached for her hand. “Follow me.”
“Where am I following you to?”
“On our fourth date, we went stargazing. I wanted you so damn bad—wanted to slam you against the nearest wall, and, well”—he grinned—“you can probably fill the rest of that vivid image in. The point is, you wanted to freaking star-gaze. And I couldn’t say no, even though my body hated me. So, I came up with an idea. If we star-gazed, then I could at least feel you up, and if I felt you up, then you’d most likely kiss me, and if you kissed me, maybe I would get some action.”
“Your mind’s a terrifying place.”
He laughed, then took her arm again and led her outside to the large patio overlooking the resort. The hum of the outdoor hot tub filled the air along with the strong smell of chemicals. He’d purposefully turned off all the lights in an effort to make it romantic and to see the stars, and he was momentarily pissed when he looked up and it was cloudy.
Maybe it would clear up?
Not that it mattered. He knew she couldn’t see them, but that was part of his plan.
He let go of her hand long enough to grab the nearby blanket and laid it on the ground next to the cheap champagne and plastic Solo cups.
“All right, just lay back here.” He helped her sit down and then very carefully sat down behind her, straddling her.
She tensed.
“Is this okay?”
“Is this how our date went?”
“You don’t remember?”
She shook her head. “I remember loving the stars and telling you it was one of my favorite dates.” She sucked on her bottom lip. “And I remember that you smelled really good back then.”
“And I don’t now?”
She laughed and tensed a bit in his arms like she was afraid to relax. “You always smell good. It’s really irritating, believe me.”
“Are you saying I irritate you?”
“Not right now.” She breathed out a sigh and scooted back against him. “Okay, Brant, tell me about the stars.”
He glanced up and almost told her the truth. No stars. Nothing but heavy clouds that threatened to burst open at any minute.
But God, her face.
She was smiling—it was everything.
His throat burned as he watched her expectant face. “They look like glitter in the sky, like thousands of diamonds twinkling just for us. I see”—his hands moved to her face as he gazed into her eyes—“I see fire and passion. I see joy, beauty…I see you.”
“In the stars?”
“Yeah.” He didn’t take his gaze away from her face. “In the stars.”
He kissed her.
She pulled away and stared ahead. “Is this the part where I get felt up?”
“God, I hope so.”
She laughed. A real laugh.
He didn’t kiss her.
Knew that it wasn’t time yet, that she didn’t trust him enough not to do something stupid, and since his track record had pointed toward stupid he sat there, content with just holding her.
Until a raindrop slapped his cheek. And then another. He ignored them and kept kissing her. Until a crack of thunder sounded.
“I don’t remember this happening on our date,” she joked, crawling out of his lap. He wrapped the blanket around her to protect her from the storm and guided her back inside the hotel room.
“Shit.” He almost forgot the champagne. Brant ran back outside, getting his clothes completely soaked as he picked up the champagne and the cups. When he got back inside, she was laying the blanket on a nearby table.
“Everything okay?” she asked. Her eyes searched the room, darting from left to right in an effort to either focus on him or whatever direction he was coming from. His throat burned. His heart ached. He’d done that to her. He’d broken her and then broken them.
“Yeah.” He licked his lips and slowly moved toward Nikki. “Everything’s great.”
“It was a good date.” She put a hand out and placed it on his chest then moved it to his shoulder.
He took her fingertips in his hand and then kissed her cheek. “Date’s not over yet.”
“Because you never felt me up?” she joked.
“Well, that, and because we never drank our cheap champagne.”
Her eyes lit up. “Please tell me it’s the grocery store Brut that only costs four dollars and ninety-four cents.”
“The one and only.” He laughed. “You remember?”
“Only important things like the fact that you bought it for me every year on my birthday. To go along with the homemade pasta.”
“And when you say homemade, you mean—”
“You bought the box mac and cheese and put a candle in it, yes. That kind of homemade.”
“I’m a wizard with mac and cheese, admit it.”
“You’re…something.” She grinned and then held open her right hand. “Okay, champagne.”
“Ah, so now she’s excited.”
“Aw, was I not excited enough when we were talking about you feeling me up?”
“I’d prefer you throw a parade next time or at least jump into the air, but I’ll take whatever I can get.”
She laughed and then laughed harder before sobering. “I miss this.”
“Nope.” He cupped her face. “We aren’t going to do that, okay? Let’s just focus on the good, maybe if we do that…” God, he hoped he was right. “Maybe the bad won’t seem as bad if we remember the good.”
“Brant.” Her voice was sad. “Friends talk. We need to have that talk otherwise none of this is going to work.”
“I know,” he admitted. “Just…not yet.”
Tears filled her eyes. “Okay.”
Thank God. He wasn’t ready for it yet, ready for the talk that could send her out of his life for good. Because once they traveled that road, Pandora’s box would be ripped wide open—and what if she couldn’t move past it?
What if he couldn’t? What if all they had was now?
“Hey, Brant?”
Damn thing was impenetrable. He twisted the wire off and covered the cork with a towel. “Kinda busy saving the day here, Nik.”
“By opening a bottle?”
“I’m a man, it’s what we do. Well, it’s what I do. Son of a bitch, this thing won’t come off!”
“Brant.” She warned.
“Fine. Sorry.” The cork finally came loose. “You were saying?”
“It rained.”
He glanced behind him, more like a torrential downpour. “Yeah?”
“How can you tell me about the stars if you can’t see them?”
“The same way you recognize things without seeing them, I guess.” He wanted to touch her again, to kiss her. “I did it from memory, and when that failed, I just looked into your eyes.”