Chapter Thirteen
“I don’t know how you talked me into this,” Stacey grumbled beside him. “I’ve got a ton of things to do today.”
Grant pulled his kayak to the water’s edge. This time of year, Spearhead Lake was typically quiet, particularly at midday. “You said yourself you’ve been working since seven this morning. You need a break and you know it.”
“The water’s going to be cold.”
“Quit being a baby. We’re only going to be in it long enough to get in and out.” He straightened, placed fisted hands on his hips and stared at the top of her ball-capped head. “If I didn’t know better, I’d say you’re looking for any excuse not to enjoy this.”
“Don’t be ridiculous.” She positioned her kayak alongside his, then adjusted her sunglasses. “It’s a gorgeous day, the sun’s out, tourist season hasn’t really started. It’s just that…”
“What? What’s bothering you?”
“It feels weird. Like I want to hug you, but then that turns into kissing, and we both know where kissing gets us.”
“Someplace fun?”
“Be serious.”
“Are you trying to tell me last night wasn’t fun? Maybe we should try it again, just to be sure.” He kept a straight face, but his dick was definitely interested in her answer, particularly if he got the green light.
Her face turned the slightest shade of red. “That’s not funny.”
Grinning, he pulled her into his arms. “Here. Let’s just get the hug thing out of the way so we can enjoy the afternoon.”
“Goofball.” She smacked him in the chest, but at least she’d relaxed some. “Fine.”
He released her and turned his attention back to the kayaks. Another thirty seconds of that and he ran the risk of kissing her and proving her right. “Let’s get our life vests on and hit the water.”
A few minutes later they quietly paddled along the edge of the lake, the midday sun warm against his skin, and the life vest providing just enough warmth over his T-shirt.
“It’s beautiful here.” Stacey smiled, one end of her paddle dipping into the water and pulling her forward, her speed matching his. Not that he was going very fast. That was the thing about being out on the lake. Life slowed down enough that he felt grounded.
“Let’s head over to Lava Cove and search for rocks,” she suggested. “I’m putting a tablescape together for a client, so I could use some.”
He nodded. Lava Cove was a popular spot on the other side of Spearhead Lake, and in the next few weeks, would play host to crowds of summer tourists. Today, it was likely empty.
Too bad it couldn’t always be this way, but progress was progress, and the same crowd of tourists who took advantage of Milestone’s outdoors also frequented the restaurants and bars that sold his distillery’s whiskeys, bourbons, vodkas, and gins. Grant was more than happy to keep the stills working, the barrels filled, and the tourists happy.
He listened to the quiet, felt the rightness of the moment, felt the rightness of his life. There was something so real about all of it, here on the lake, with Stacey by his side. They didn’t say much, didn’t have to. It was one of the reasons he enjoyed her company, one of the many reasons they were best friends.
Julian’s parting words drifted through his mind.
“You treat Stacey right, and she’ll be by your side your entire life…”
As much as he needed them not to be true, he couldn’t deny that there might be a kernel of truth hidden in their depths.
He was so screwed.
And he needed to slow things down before he screwed himself further.
…
“There.” Stacey threw a handful of rocks into her plastic sack and stowed it in the kayak. “That should do it.”
She smacked her arm. Damned mosquitos. Maybe she should throw on her life vest. Hard to get a tan that way, though.
Her stomach grumbled loud enough for Grant to hear it, confirmed a split second later when he pulled out the backpack he’d brought with him. “Sounds like it’s time for food.”
“What’d you bring?” She straddled the log opposite him, thankful that she’d pulled shorts over her bikini bottoms.
He handed her an apple. “I’ve got some nuts, too.”
“I know that.” Her eyes shot to his, and although she couldn’t see through his sunglasses, she was willing to bet he was just as startled as she was by her words. “I mean, you always bring mixed nuts when we head out anywhere,” she quickly added.
He shot her a lopsided grin. “And you seem to enjoy them.”
“I do seem to have a thing for nuts,” she agreed. A corner of her mouth tweaked up, and while she struggled with whether or not to voice her thoughts, she wasn’t surprised when they won out in the end. “I especially like the kind that come in pairs.”
He chuckled, the sound a caress over her warm skin. “Is that an invitation?”
“That depends. Are we flirting?”
“It would appear that way.” He picked out a match, the flame bursting to life when he struck it against the side of the box.
“You brought candles.” She grinned. “Are you sure this isn’t a date?” she asked before biting into her apple.
“Do you want it to be?”
She stared out onto the lake as she chewed. Another time, another place, another guy, it’d be the perfect setting. Why couldn’t it be the perfect setting now?
He grinned. “Hey, I was just kidding,” he said, stowing the matchbox. “The candle’s citronella. You know, to keep the bugs away. It’s not exactly romantic.”
“It’s thoughtful. There’s an element of romance in that.”
Okay, what was going on here? Was she actually trying to make him fit her definition of someone romantic?
Geez. That was pathetic. Absolutely pathetic. This was Grant, for God’s sake. Commitment-phobe, live-in-the-moment Grant. Not some hero out of a Hallmark movie.
“Look, Stace,” he said, hands on his thighs. “I…um, that is… ”
“Spit it out already.”
He blew out a breath and stared across the lake. “You know I want you to be happy, right? You know that means everything to me.”
Uh-oh. He was trying to be serious, and her gut told her it wasn’t a good thing.
“Yes.” She took another bite of her apple to stop herself from saying more.
“As much fun as this is, and as much as I’d love to stay on the ‘see where this goes’ train, I don’t want to see whatever this thing is between us get in the way of your finding the kind of guy who’d love you the way you want, the way you deserve.”
And there it was. The biggest reason this was far from a Hallmark movie.
But as much as she wanted to challenge him, to point out all the ways they were good together, she knew he meant what he said. He wanted her to continue her search for another man. He didn’t want her, at least not long term, and she respected herself far too much to argue for a relationship she knew he wasn’t ready for.
A strange pang started in her chest and radiated outward. She chewed the apple slowly, its once sweet flavor falling flat.
He had abandonment issues, and while there were no guarantees in life, he had to have faith that not every woman was going to leave him. Unfortunately, she couldn’t wave a magic wand and give him that faith. Every YouTube video she’d seen on the subject made it very clear that he had to do the work himself if he wanted to live a deeper, more fulfilling life. Which pretty much meant that, in this moment, he was who he was.
So quit trying to make him something he’s not.
“Stace? You okay?”
“Of course.” She waved him off with one hand. “Just thinking about my schedule. You know, where I’m going and what kind of guys might be there for me.”
God, she hated lying, but now that she thought of it again, what was so wrong with going back to online dating? Some of the guys were questionable, but there was no rule that said she had to meet them. At the very least the experience would get her back in the dating game and her focus on someone besides Grant.
“How’s your kayak working?” he asked, bringing her right back to Spearhead Lake and the apple she’d stopped munching on.
In light of their heavy conversation, it was a weird question.
Stacey took a deep breath and smiled as brightly as she could. “It’s not taking in water, so it seems fine to me.”
“I was thinking I’d like to take them on vacation with me one of these days.”
“Wouldn’t it be easier to just rent a kayak wherever you end up?” She kept her voice light, unaffected. It was the best way to get through this, to shine the proverbial light on their pseudo-relationship so she’d remember what it really was: temporary.
“Not every lake has someplace close by where I could do that. Besides,” he added. “I thought I’d load them up, then take a road trip to Alaska next summer. Maybe stop along whatever lake or river I wanted and get in the water.”
“Alaska, huh? What’s the attraction?”
“Never been there before.” He shrugged. “I just thought it sounded like a good idea.”
Alaska.
With no invitation to join him.
They’d barely started, and he was already moving on.
Which meant Stacey had to figure out a way to do the same.
…
The crowds were bigger than they were at the mayor’s brunch last week, which was likely the reason why Grant felt like he was suffocating. He tugged at the noose around his neck. Okay, it was a tie, but same difference.
Hard to believe some guys wore a tuxedo on a regular basis…by choice. He, on the other hand, had been suckered to parade around in something that wasn’t shorts and a T-shirt for the second time in two weeks.
Although Stacey had mentioned how nice he looked tonight. He scanned the ballroom and frowned. She’d disappeared into the crowd almost as soon as they’d arrived, but in a room full of eligible bachelors, it wasn’t hard to guess what she was doing.
His frown deepened. What did it matter to him? He’d been the one to tell her she needed to continue her manhunt. It was in her own best interest. He wouldn’t be a dick and tell her she couldn’t.
“Grant? Is that really you?”
The familiar voice broke through his thoughts, made the hairs on the back of his neck prickle even before he turned around. And speaking about life happening… “Trisha.”
His ex. A woman he’d dated much longer than he should have. It shouldn’t have surprised him to see the beautiful blonde here. The Milestone Moments Gala was the area’s premiere event, and the woman had always aimed high—which was a big reason they didn’t work out.
“Don’t you look good.” She didn’t bother to cover her purr of admiration and swept her gaze up and down him like he was a fur coat she wanted to slide her arms into. “Glad to see you’ve taken my advice and upgraded your wardrobe.”
Grant frowned. Clearly not much had changed.
She took half a step back and tossed her blonde hair to the side in a way that he’d once thought sexy and inviting. Now he couldn’t wait to ditch her.
Trisha scanned him from top to bottom and back again. “What are you wearing? Hugo Boss?” She eyed him critically. “You’ve got the right frame for it.”
Hugo Boss? Hell if he knew. The distillery’s marketing manager had shown up at his office last week with a suit bag and orders to wear it tonight. Oh, he’d protested. Same as with the suit a couple weeks ago. His board shorts and T-shirt were a truer reflection of the kinds of clothes worn by the market they were targeting—the easygoing, relaxed, kick-back-after-work crowd. But Kylie was right. He couldn’t ignore the older, more sophisticated crowd, either.
“Yes, that’s Hugo Boss,” she said before he could answer. “I’d recognize a Hugo Boss anywhere.”
Apparently, he didn’t need to be around to participate in her conversation.
“I heard you’re part owner at Mile High Desert Distillery now.” Trisha’s blue eyes glimmered with interest. No doubt it had more to do with his new position at the distillery, a place she’d once referred to as his dead-end job.
“I am.” On the one hand, it was weird that he felt no need to gloat, but the truth was that Trisha no longer mattered, her opinions no longer mattered.
When he turned, he caught his reflection in the mirrored wall at one side of the room. Hugo Boss or not, he had to admit the tux looked good on him. Too bad he didn’t give a damn about any of it. Stacey would probably insist that although he cleaned up well, it simply wasn’t who he was.
A splotch of bright pink reflected off the mirror, and his heartbeat kicked up. She was at the far end of the room, and he openly admired her in much the same way when he’d picked her up. The low-cut, backless gown she wore was a sexy blend of innocence and temptress.
She was light and perfection, happiness and kindness and caring wrapped in a sexy package. She made him believe, for one tiny moment, that he was part of something larger, something better, something far more satisfying than being alone.
A trace of irritation ran through him. It was likely due to Trisha jabbering at him about her latest real estate brokerage sale and the huge commission. It definitely wasn’t because Stacey seemed to be involved in a deep conversation with some relatively good-looking guy. Feeling territorial was plain stupid. She deserved to be happy, even if he wasn’t part of that equation.
His gaze flickered back to the blonde, and, not bothering to wait for a break in her one-sided conversation, he said, “You take care, Trisha. Gotta go.”
He swirled the glass of bourbon in his hand and walked away. He fought the temptation to tug at his bow tie one more time and scanned the crowd again. Where’d Stacey go?
Ever since the kayaking trip, they’d managed to get back to the easygoing relationship they’d always had. Thank God. Every time he thought about the possibility of losing her, his stomach churned. What a relief he hadn’t lost her, that they were still friends. And he’d made damned sure he kept his hands and his dick to himself from that point on.
“There you are.” Stacey came up behind him, a smile on her pretty face. Errant strands of hair fell forward, and he itched to tuck them back, to skim a hand across the planes of her smooth face…to lean forward and kiss her…
Keep your hands to yourself. And his lips, too, if he knew what was good for him.
The reminder had him shoving his free hand in his pocket while the other brought his glass to his mouth.
Oblivious to his inner turmoil, she casually looked around. “So, I see your ex is here tonight. How is she?”
“Fine, I guess.” He searched her face. Clearly, she’d adjusted well to going back to their best-friend status. Sex must not have affected her as much as he’d expected.
Why did that bother him so much? He should be grateful that sex hadn’t affected her, that she didn’t obsess about it, or turn all pouty and moody when they took a step back.
Wait. That wasn’t exactly something a guy should be proud of, was it?
Didn’t matter. Grant wouldn’t freak. It wasn’t his place, and likely would earn him a tongue lashing at the least. Not the good kind, either.
“One thing I’ve never understood,” Stacey began, her brown eyes boring into his. “You’ve got all these commitment issues, and yet you hung onto her way longer than you should’ve. What’s up with that?”
He scowled. “That was all your fault.”
“My fault?” She raised an eyebrow, almost daring him to speak. “Oh, this I’ve got to hear. The woman was a leech, looking at your potential versus who you really are. She wanted you at her beck and call, and when you didn’t give her attention, she’d blow up on you. How was any of that even remotely my fault? Really.” She sniffed. “I thought you had better taste than that.”
“You were the one who lectured me about giving a woman a chance.”
“After you quit dating a woman because she wanted to do nice things for you like make you dinner or do your laundry,” she pointed out. “Believe me, if some woman offered to cook for me or do my laundry, I’d keep her around, not label her as ‘too clingy,’ then drop her like last week’s bad advice. But that still doesn’t explain why you hung onto Trisha.”
“She was just the next woman to walk into my life after you tore into me about giving women a chance.”
She raised an eyebrow. “That’s it? That’s the reason you stuck with her? I’m not sure if I should laugh or cry.”
“Neither. I followed your advice. I wasn’t what she wanted. Story of my life.” He kept his tone light, unaffected, never mind the painful stab of emotion in his chest.
Plastering on a smile, he thumbed at the room behind him. “You having a good time tonight?”
Her face morphed into a huge grin, excitement glimmering in her eyes while she took a quick sip of her champagne. “I made some great contacts for Dinners for Two, but the best news? I just nailed myself a new client who’s amazingly generous.”
Clients…networking…not a manhunt. Relief washed through him, so much so that he relaxed his shoulders and grinned. “Yeah? What makes him so generous?”
“Not just what he’s willing to spend, but who he’s arranging the dinner for.” She tilted her head to one side. “And, I haven’t had guys do this sort of thing, but he’s offering a thirty percent gratuity and a write-up in a Pacific Northwest e-zine. Pretty neat, huh?”
“That’d be great exposure for you. Congratulations.” He pasted on a smile. “Who’s the guy?”
Stacey’s sparkling brown eyes widened. “He wants his identity to remain anonymous,” she said.
“Why bother to keep it such a secret?”
“It’s more romantic that way, silly.” She huffed out a breath. “Of course, he said that I could shout it from the top of Chinaman Hat if things go smoothly.”
He frowned. Obviously, the guy thought there was a good chance he’d strike out, but at least Stacey had landed a new client. Why shouldn’t she be excited? She worked damned hard and poured her heart and soul into what she did. She had a passion that was rarely seen in most people.
She had a passion for everything she touched. And her passion fed everything she touched. Especially when she touched him.
Grant stared at her upturned face, her eyes all sparkly and her mouth curved into that blend of mischievous and sexy that belonged only to her.
Awww, hell…
He caved. Despite all the mental arguments he’d had with himself, he reached for Stacey, his hand sliding over her bare arm. Skin on skin contact—he needed it, drowned in it. He hadn’t realized until this moment how much he’d missed holding her, missed the feel of her in his arms.
Hot and cold flashes undulated through his body like Klaxon alarms. What the hell was he thinking? But even as the thought raced through his brain, he knew.
Stacey was perfect for him.
That thought swirled around his head, nipped at his psyche and pulled back, a strange mix of emotions hot on its trail.
“You okay?” The slight frown on her face and the concern in her voice tipped him over the edge. She looked past him at the crowd. “You’ve already done your bit for the distillery, so I’m okay to leave if you are.”
Oh, he wanted to leave all right, but not for the reasons she was thinking. Grant tugged her toward him, wrapped his arm around her waist, and pressed her to him. Surprise registered in her eyes when she turned her face up.
In one slow move, Grant lowered his head and captured her mouth in a soft, reverent kiss. The way she deserved.
…
His mouth was firm, gentle, coaxing rather than demanding, and brief. Stacey had barely closed her eyes when he pulled away and teased her with an equally gentle smile.
She stared, mesmerized by the curve of his lips, by the playfulness in his eyes, by the way he softly caressed her face. She wanted to taste him, wanted to feel him, all of him. She wanted to give herself up to the moment and just be.
Stacey blinked. Blood thrummed in her ears and pulsed through her temples. That was something she hadn’t experienced before with Grant, and definitely not with any other man. It was good. Too good. Not possessive, yet possessing every sensory system in her body so that she was attuned to this man, this moment.
Damn.
“Considering we have a bit of an audience, we should probably hang out awhile longer,” he said.
An audience?
She glanced behind her at a couple of blue-haired women who stood off to the side. Their raised eyebrows and polite smiles made it painfully clear they were eavesdropping. Stacey turned away and pushed him back as she walked forward, effectively moving them away from the women. “Who cares what they think?” she asked when they were a few feet away.
He cupped her face briefly, then tucked a strand of hair behind one ear. “Normally, I wouldn’t. But those two own Milestone Media.” He squeezed her hand. “They could probably run a story on you one day, and as conservative as they are, I’m guessing the last thing you want is to give them the impression that you’re unprofessional because you publicly sucked face.”
“Good point.” Milestone was pretty progressive as a whole, but acting in a less-than-serious-businesswoman mode probably wasn’t in the best interest of her business.
“C’mon,” he said. “Let’s get fresh glasses.”
Glasses? She looked at the champagne flute in her hand. Good God, she was seriously losing it.
He guided her toward the bar, one hand placed on the small of her back. And not for the first time that evening, she was glad she’d chosen a backless gown, one that dipped just below her waist. The warmth of his hand seared her, branded her in much the same way his kiss had just moments before.
And in a flash it dawned on her. She’d known Grant since they were kids, knew every secret he had, every battle he’d fought, and had even fought alongside him in some cases. But she’d never been prepared for the possibility that the hardest battle she’d have to fight was the one waging inside her now.
With one sweet kiss, he’d torn down every defense she believed she’d possessed, every shred of logic that told her their friendship was all they had, all she could hope for.
Stacey stared straight ahead and swallowed back the tide of longing.
Dear God. She was so in trouble with this man.
And she suspected she’d enjoy every minute of it.