Chapter Eleven
“That smells so good, Harry.”
“I thought that would wake you up,” Harry said with a grin as she started scraping the bacon strips from the frying pan and onto a serving plate.
Elsie let out a yawn as she took a seat. “You really don’t have to do this, though.”
“It’s the least I can do, and you know it.”
Elsie watched her friend move around her tiny kitchen with graceful efficiency, her movements quick but precise as she retrieved the toast out of the oven and started serving sunny side-ups on their plates. It had been two months since Harry had come knocking her door in the middle of the night with red-rimmed eyes and luggage-less, asking if Elsie would let her crash on her couch for just a night, and in those two months she hadn’t been able to get more than a few words out of her friend about the time she spent in Texas.
All Harry had said was that she had made a mistake, and Elsie, having seen the pain that haunted Harry’s brown eyes when she spoke of the past, had chosen not to press her further. Then, she had thought that was the right thing to do. But now –
After taking her seat and saying grace, Harry noted uneasily that her friend still kept darting looks at her. “What is it?” she asked finally.
“How honest do you want me to be?” Elsie hedged.
“That bad?” she asked with a grimace.
“It’s just…I’m seriously worried about you, Harry. You’ve lost so much weight since you came here, and you know, the only reason why I never made you talk about what happened was because I thought it would help you get over the past. But that’s not how things are working, so---” She sighed. “Do you want to try talking about it?”
Harry’s face felt stiff as she pasted a smile on her lips. “I’d rather not if that's okay with you.”
“But---”
“It’s still too fresh,” Harry admitted jerkily. She wished it wasn’t so, but it was. She had thought she would be over Devon Montgomery now, but she wasn’t – and she was secretly terrified that she never would. Every night, she still ended up crying herself to sleep like she was no better than a little girl who missed her favorite teddy bear.
I made a really good decision when I asked you to be my bride, Hilary White.
I’m glad you’ll be mine, darling.
You’re adorable.
Oh, how beautiful those words were, and yet they were all lies. He had been lying to her from the very start, so why dear God – why did her stupid heart seem to yearn for him still?
The haunted look on Harry’s face made Elsie regret bringing up the topic. Oh, her and her big mouth! Eager to bring things back to a semblance of normal, she said brightly, “I’ve good news for you, by the way. I saw a couple of vacancy ads on the bulletin board last night. Maybe you’d like to go to work with me today and see if any of them would fit you?”
One hour later, and Harry did exactly that, and she waved goodbye just before Elsie headed up to the 11th floor where the new agency she was working for had its office.
Squaring her shoulders, Harry made a beeline for the bulletin board. It was time to move on, to start again, and she would do so now right this very moment.
Although Mary Beth had insisted on giving her a huge amount of cash on the day she left, Harry had only used it to pay for her plane ticket and had wired everything back to Devon’s mother. Since then, she had been freelancing as a cleaner and only taking on jobs that didn’t leave any paper trail. She might not be the smartest or most worldly person on the block, but she knew just enough to avoid doing things that might allow Devon find her whereabouts. Then again, she also knew she was doing all of these based on the assumption that he was looking for her – but if she really thought about it, was there any reason for Devon to do so?
Ours is not a normal marriage.
Get real, Hilary. You have only known me for a week, and now you’re telling me you love me?”
I wasn’t the one who wrote those letters. I asked someone else to write whatever you’re likely to want to hear.
Harry’s eyes became so blurry she had to blink back several times before her vision cleared and she could take a proper look at the ads posted on the board. But even as she started writing down details of the postings she was qualified for, her heart still felt empty.
Two months…
It had been two months already, so why was she still not over the man who had done nothing but break her heart?
Turning away as soon as she was done, she walked towards one of the lounge areas in the lobby and lowered herself to one of the vacant chairs.
It’s time to move on, Harry told herself severely. It was ludicrous for her to continue basing all of her decisions on how it would or wouldn’t help Devon find her more easily. It was time to put everything in the past where it belonged –
“Hilary?” The voice had a distinctly Texan drawl, and her heart leapt at the sound. “It’s you, isn’t it?”
A familiar voice, she thought numbly, but it was not Devon’s.
Harry reluctantly rose to her feet. A part of her already expected it to be one of Devon’s friends – they were the only Texan men other than Devon who called her by her name; the rest were ranch hands who preferred to addressed her as either the ‘missus’ or ‘ma’am – but she still ended up feeling overwhelmed when she lifted her gaze and found three pairs of eyes looking back at her.
“H-Hello,” she said faintly.
“It’s been a while, hasn’t it?” Sean’s smile was pure charm, and his tone warm. None of it revealed his quiet shock, which he was certain his other friends shared. Hilary appeared alarmingly thin, and she looked like she was about to faint any second.
“We’ve come to check our newly acquired office space on the 54th floor,” Logan shared conversationally while pressing the speed-dial button for Devon’s number. “Is this where you’re working, too?”
“Oh no, not at all.” Harry was very careful not to divulge anything.
Nicholas eyed her with friendly curiosity. “Visiting a friend or former colleague then?” Maloney Towers was a purely commercial building, without even a single café to offer.
Instead of answering the question, she said with a strained smile, “It’s been nice bumping into all of you, but I’m afraid I’m already late for, umm, an appointment.” She hated how rude she was acting, but they were Devon’s friends first and foremost, and she couldn’t let herself forget that.
Harry tried to leave then, but Logan suddenly blocked her way. “If you’re worried we’ll tell Devon about this meeting, please don’t be.” Because he had already done that, he thought wryly. “But that said, I won’t lie to you – finding you suddenly gone devastated him.”
“I’m sure that’s an exaggeration,” Harry said tonelessly.
“No, it’s not, ma’am.” If anything, it was an understatement. Devon had nearly been catatonic with grief. It was as if his world had lost all meaning the moment he learned of his wife’s disappearance.
Sean and Nicholas exchanged looks. They had known each other for decades, and Logan was never this open or talkative without a motive. Perhaps he had managed to contact Devon and let their friend know about Hilary’s whereabouts?
The two men immediately focused their attention back on their friend’s wife. If there were a slightest possibility for that, then they, too, would do their best to keep Hilary from leaving until her estranged husband arrived.
Harry dug her nails hard into her palms. “I wish I could believe you, but you just don’t know…”
When her voice trailed off, Sean said gently, “We know about the circumstances surrounding your marriage, Harry. We know Devon had someone write you letters, and this hurt you terribly.” At her wide-eyed look, he added quietly, “I know Devon showing up at Nick’s party with another woman has also hurt you---”
“If you’re here to tell me he did that because Mama made him think I was…I was flirting with other men---” A smile that didn’t reach Harry’s eyes touched her lips. “I already know that. Mama confessed everything to me almost as soon as I regained consciousness at the hospital.”
Nicholas frowned. “Then surely you understand---”
“What I understand is that his past has made him unable to trust any woman,” she cut him off tremulously. “I can’t blame him for it – and truly, I don’t. But I also can’t---” Harry’s voice broke as she suddenly found herself fighting back tears, and she hastily averted her gaze from Devon’s friends.
Hoping for some distraction while she struggled to regain control of herself, Harry looked around and belatedly noticed the way the men were drawing so much attention from the opposite sex. Shock and consternation were written all over their faces. It was clear they couldn’t understand how someone like her could hold court over three incredibly handsome men.
If only they knew, she thought numbly. She would have gladly given up the world if she could have forever with just one man.
But in the end, that one man was not for her.
Devon’s friends were grim as they watched Harry struggle for composure. Where the fuck are you, Devon, Logan wondered tautly. He didn’t think he or any of his friends had it in them to keep stalling Devon’s wife from leaving. While it was clear as daylight to them that she had cared for Devon a lot, it was equally clear that their friend had caused her terrible pain.
Hoping to give her the distraction she needed, Nick changed the subject, saying, “You know, there has been one thing that we never quite figured out.”
“O-Oh?”
“How did you manage to leave the hospital undetected?”
“Umm…” Harry’s cheeks turned pink. “I know it wasn’t right, but I was desperate that time so…” Biting her lip, she then confessed guiltily, “When Mama told me she felt responsible for my accident and everything that happened, I’m afraid I kind of took advantage of it. I told her that if she really meant it, she would help me leave.” She then told them of Mary Beth’s elaborate scheme, which involved bribing a huge number of people to look the other way as well as arranging for a getaway car to the airport.
“So it was Aunt Mary Beth all along?” Sean shook his head in amazement. “And what about when you came here? Devon’s had detectives looking for you nonstop.”
“I s-see.” She unthinkingly wrapped her arms around her body at Sean’s revelation. Don’t let it get to you, Harry. It doesn’t mean anything. It can’t. It mustn’t.
“He also flew here every week to personally comb the streets for you.” Logan raised a brow. “You must know that at least?”
Her shoulders moved in an awkward shrug. While the local channels had extensively covered his frequent visits to the state, she hadn’t let herself think much of it. “I thought he was just here for business---”
“I wasn’t.”
****
Devon was breathing hard, and his body still shook at the exertion of having to run three blocks to get here on time. It was either that or place his bet on his limo finding a way out of the heavy traffic, and the latter had been too much of a risk for him to take.
Hilary had turned stiff by the sound of her voice, and just when he lost all hope of his wife ever caring to face him, she finally turned –
Ah.
Too beautiful for his mind to process, too damn thin and fragile for his heart to bear, but it was the depth of pain in her eyes that he couldn’t tear his gaze away from.
“Are you going to accuse me of f-flirting again?”
His chest nearly caved in at the way her voice caught, and Devon had to clench his fists against the urge to haul her into his arms. “I know you’re trying to be snarky, darling,” he said softly, “but you’re too sweet to make it work.”
Her eyes stung. “And you’re still a liar.” She wanted – needed – him angry.
But Devon’s inclined head was his only response. “I won’t deny it. I was a liar, darling---”
“Stop calling me that,” she hissed.
“But never again. I’ve more than learned my lesson---”
The way he spoke, the way he looked at her – oh God, it made Harry want to believe him so badly.
But she couldn’t.
She just couldn’t leave herself open to the possibility of such pain again.
“I don’t want to hear any more of this.” She tried to whirl away and leave, but when Devon caught her elbow and force her to face him again, something inside of her snapped. “Let go!” Her unshackled free arm went up, and she slapped him hard.
Gasps of shock went through the growing crowd around them, but she no longer cared.
The fact that they were in a public place, the fact that people around them were obviously listening and even recording their confrontation, the fact that reacting to him only meant she was not over him –
All of it ceased to matter, and all that consumed Harry was the unforgivable pain of his betrayal.
“I said let go---”
“I need you to listen to me, darling---”
“I said stop calling me that!”
She slapped him again and again and again.
But not once did he stop her.
She kept hitting him, clawing at his face and punching his chest now, but still he didn’t stop her.
She kept hitting him until her hand started to hurt, but he still didn’t make a single move to stop her.
Why wouldn’t he stop her?
Harry slowly found herself sliding to the floor---
An image burned in her mind, of a heartbreakingly handsome Devon appearing in Nick’s ball with another woman by his side.
---and she started to sob.
Devon slowly knelt in front of her, and she found herself sobbing harder at the sight of his face.
His beautiful, beloved face –
Oh God.
It was now a mass of fresh wounds, and even his lip was bleeding.
“Why?” she choked out brokenly. It was the only word she could manage. Why had he bothered to come and look for her? Why had he let her hurt him? And why had he hurt her?
“Because I love you.”
A keening cry escaped her. “G-Get real.”
Devon whitened.
“Get real, Devon.” She forced herself to flung his words back at him even as her throat tightened with pain. “There’s little difference between a week and a month. So g-get real.” But this time her voice broke –
And his heart broke along with it. “Stop it, darling,” he said rawly. “I told you, didn’t I? It’s not in you to cause people pain---”
A strangled sob shook her body. “Y-you make me sound like a saint.”
“Because you fucking are---”
Tear-stained eyes that had lost its innocence speared his. “Then w-why hurt me?”
The agony in her words ripped him apart, and Devon was barely able to speak past his own pain. “Because I was a fool. Because I didn’t know how lucky I was to have you until Death almost took you away from me. Because I never imagined I could love someone until I found you---”
But the glassy look in her eyes didn’t disappear, and her next words were his worst fears coming true –
“I don’t know if I can bear trusting you again,” she choked out. “I c-can’t even make myself say y-your name. Just y-your name is enough to d-destroy me. I t-think it’s better if we just stay apart---”
“No!” Desperation filled him, and Devon said hoarsely, “Let me take all the risks then.” He seized her hands and brought them to his shaking lips. “Just c-come back to me and I’ll do the rest. Just stay in my life and let me make you my world. I’ll write you letters – real fucking ones, I promise you. I’ll let you drive my truck. I’ll give you whatever you ask for---”
But all she could do was shake her head, and excruciating torment ravaged his heart when she tried to pull her hands away. “Hilary, please.” He pressed his lips harder to her hands. “Just fucking stay. You can divorce me if you want.”
Harry jerked at the words, and her lips parted in silent despair at what he was saying.
“Have fucking affairs left and right to teach me a lesson.”
Oh God.
“I no longer care.”
Harry stared down at his bent head, but her gaze was unseeing, her mind lost in Mary Beth’s stories about how her love for her husband had been horribly twisted, the kind of love that had scarred Devon for life –
“Just fucking stay until I can make you see I’ve changed.”
And yet now…Devon was offering that same love to her. He loved her so much…that he was willing to turn himself into the one man whose footsteps he had done his best to avoid following his entire life.
A choked sob escaped her.
He was willing to be another Desmond for her, and he was promising to love her even if she turned into another Mary Beth.
“Oh, Devon.” She found herself weeping uncontrollably as she threw herself in his arms. “Oh God, Devon.” Not only could she speak his name, but right now it seemed to be the only thing she could say.
Dazed blue eyes lifted to hers, and a smile wobbled on her lips.
“I love you,” she whispered.
His arms closed around her forcefully, so wonderfully tight she could barely breathe.
But she didn’t really mind because she was hugging him just as tightly.
“I love you, Devon.”
“I love you, Hilary.”
He pulled back as his lips hungrily searched for hers, and her eyes closed.
She was back where she belonged.