Chapter 17

Christian didn’t show up for work for two days. Everyone asked me if he was okay and I just shrugged it off. Brandy knew I was pregnant. She had told everyone, so they were all being very kind to me, but the long stares were starting to wear on me. I was embarrassed to admit that I hadn’t heard from him other than cursory texts saying he was fine in response to my concerned megatexts. I started out fine, but the more time passed, the longer my texts started getting. I was trying to be reassuring and supportive and loving all at once.

Because I was getting scared. This was a long time to avoid me.

But I was determined not to make any demands. I could take care of myself if I had to. I had already ordered a real bed from IKEA and a sofa and end tables with my waitressing money. I was sure I would get a full-time job long before the baby was born and then I could take maternity leave. I wasn’t stressed, exactly.

I just wanted Christian to love our baby.

And, okay, me. I wanted him to love me, because I loved him.

The last month had been amazing. Being with him was both exciting and easy. It felt effortlessness. Just lots of conversation, laughter, and amazing closeness. It wasn’t just sex. It was intimacy. Bonding. Christian felt it too, I knew he did. And I think it scared him because it was new to him. He wasn’t one for the fairy tale, that was for damn sure.

Which was evident when he showed up at the restaurant on day three looking strung out and exhausted. He had dark circles under his eyes, a three-day beard, and wrinkled clothes. He came over and kissed me on the forehead as I stood in the doorway to the kitchen, hesitant. This was not how I had wanted to see him again, but hell, I’d take it. He looked calm enough. The kiss was affectionate.

“Hi,” I said. “I’m glad to see you.”

“I’m glad to see you too.” He tucked my hair back, his constant gesture of tenderness. “Everything is going to be okay, I promise you that.”

I nodded. “Okay. Good.” I touched his chest. “I don’t want you and me to change, I hope you know that. I want to be with you.”

“I know.” He was still oddly serene, but he didn’t exactly say he wanted to be with me.

Relief mingled with annoyance. We should not be having this conversation at work. But apparently even that was all I was going to get. He tweaked my nose and went back behind the bar to set up for his shift. What the hell?

By the time my break rolled around, I was fuming. This was all I got? A forehead kiss at our mutual workplace while I took in eight bucks an hour? Seriously? He couldn’t have come over to my place this morning so we could have a freaking private moment?

One of the other waitresses, who had confessed to me in a giggly moment last week that she had slept with Christian ages ago, kept giving me sympathetic looks, which further irritated me. Everyone clearly knew I was pregnant. Brandy had even said something directly to me. The only person ignoring the situation was our boss and owner, Thomas. Well, and Christian.

I had ordered myself a salad loaded with veggies for my break and I chose a table way in the back, where it was dark and the vibe was moody. Tourists didn’t like to be seated back there because they couldn’t see the town or the sailboats docked in the marina. I sat down and stabbed my lettuce, realizing that the first time I had ever seen Christian was right here. I had been eating a salad with Sophie and had run to the restroom crying because my wedding dress hadn’t fit right. But mostly because I had seen text messages on Bradley’s phone before I left Boston. Just a quick glimpse before he swiped the screen clear. Now it was eight weeks later and my fantasy wedding hadn’t even happened.

I worked here.

Christian was my boyfriend. Or had been, until he had found out I was pregnant. Now I wasn’t sure.

If this wasn’t the summer that changed everything, I couldn’t imagine what would be. Yet I was happy. And from day one, from that very first moment I had seen Christian and his pale blue eyes had pierced me, I had been attracted to him. I never would have dreamed then that would have led to this.

I certainly couldn’t have predicted that Christian would pull out the opposite chair and toss a packet of papers in front of me. “Ali filed for shared custody of Camp,” he said without preamble.

My fork fell down onto my plate. “Can she do that?”

“She just did.” He made a face. “I called your father and he gave me a lawyer’s name, so I talked to him this morning.”

“You called my father?” How did he even have my father’s number? Life just kept getting weirder and weirder.

“Yes. I figured if anyone would know a killer lawyer, it would be your dad, right?” He looked at me like this was obvious.

“Well, sure, but…” But what? I suddenly had no idea. “So what did the lawyer say?”

“He said the odds aren’t great for her because she abandoned him with zero contact. There is no paper or electronic trail indicating she ever tried to see him or get updates on his well-being. But if the judge is feeling sentimental, he or she might side with the mother given that I work nights and I have a pregnant girlfriend who doesn’t live with me and neither does Camp. My mother has shared custody with me currently and is considered the custodial guardian. Technically Ali is suing us both for a request for a reshuffle of custody. So, worst-case scenario, she and I share custody. Which would suck for my son and my mother.”

A lump formed in the pit of my stomach. “But that’s worst-case scenario. Also, please tell me you didn’t tell the lawyer it’s me who is pregnant. My father doesn’t know.”

“No, I didn’t tell him.”

Not that it would take a genius to figure it out. I was going to have to call him pronto. What a mess. I reached out and squeezed his hand. “I’m sorry, Christian. But it will work out. Ali is not a fit mother, that’s pretty obvious.”

His jaw worked. He looked terrible. Determined. “I think we should get married.”

Um…I blinked at him. “What?”

“If we get married then we can offer a stable environment. A house. Two incomes. A commitment.”

I sat back, pulling my hand away from him, stunned. “Wow. That is just…wow.” That was literally the world’s most unromantic proposal. He was seeing me as a means to an end. A way to cement his custody fight for Camp.

“That way we don’t have to worry about the baby either.”

What did that even mean? Was he afraid I was going to battle him for custody of the baby? That was insane. We were dating. “Christian. I don’t think you have thought about this.”

“All I’ve been doing is thinking. This is the best solution.”

That would be my jaw dropping onto the table. “I don’t want to be a solution,” I hissed. “And I resent the hell out of the fact that you are bringing this up here, while I’m on break at work. This is not the place to talk about this. This is marriage!” I felt like I couldn’t breathe. “I actually need you to get away from me, please.”

“What? Why?” He looked baffled. “I thought you wanted to be married.”

He had lost his mind. “So let me trade one guy who doesn’t really want me for another one? Sure. That’s exactly what I want. Not.”

Christian frowned. “That’s not what I mean.”

Since he clearly wasn’t going to leave the table, I stood up. “I’m going home because I need to cry,” I said with as much dignity as I could muster. “And if I lose this job because of you I’m going to be really pissed.”

I fast-walked over to the bar, where I had stashed my purse, and blinked repeatedly so my tears wouldn’t fall. Brandy took one look at me and said, “Oh shit. You okay?”

“No. I have an upset stomach,” I said. “And I need to go home. Can you please tell the manager?”

She looked behind me to Christian, who I could sense was approaching us. “Baby mama drama at work is not cool, Jordan.”

I gasped. She could just mind her own business. “Well then, how about I quit, Brandy? I don’t need to be talked over like I’m not standing here.” I turned and glared at Christian. “And I don’t need to be harassed while I’m working either.”

“I asked you to marry me, how is that harassment?”

He actually looked confused and a little frustrated, as if I was being the unreasonable one.

“You did what?” Brandy exclaimed, sounding scandalized and gleeful. “Shut your face.”

“Do you mind?” I asked Brandy, outraged. “This is private.”

I couldn’t believe this was happening. I actually thought I might throw up. Or burst into tears. Or both. I rushed out the front door of the restaurant, and as luck would have it, it was raining and I had parked in the back lot. I didn’t want Christian to corner me by the Dumpster and force me to talk to his stupid face. The plan was to run out front, around the side of the building, and jump into my car.

Except I couldn’t get my purse unzipped. I was standing in the pouring rain on the sidewalk out front with trembling fingers trying to get the stupid thing open so I could dig out my keys. A glance back showed Christian was barreling out the door.

“Bella!”

I started running. I didn’t want him to see me cry. And I didn’t want to hear his stupid explanation of how this was practical.

Unfortunately, he had longer legs than me. He caught me by the arm and spun me around. “Stop!” I yelled. “Let me go.”

“What’s wrong?” he asked, looking genuinely bewildered. “I’m confused here, Bella. I need you to talk to me.”

I blinked, rain pelting me in the face and blurring my vision. “Are you kidding me? You went dark for two days! You gave me one-word texts. Now you’re demanding I talk? Oh, screw you.”

“I was thinking. Do you need to think about what I said? That’s fine.”

“I don’t need to think about it.” Damn it, I was crying. “I am not a martyr. As much as I want to guarantee that you keep custody of Camp, I can’t marry you solely for that reason. I may be a dumb princess, waiting for the fairy tale that never happens, but I can’t be so practical that I am willing to commit myself and my life to a man who is only with me for the sake of his children.” My purse slipped out of my damp hands and I swore, bending down to pick it up.

Christian squatted down too, and while I grappled with the bag, he wiped the rain off my face. “Is that what you’re worried about? Bel, I’m sorry…I didn’t mean to sound so businesslike. I’m just so scared to lose Camp I blurted that out. You deserve better.”

“Damn straight I do,” I said, swallowing back a sob. I lost my balance and fell onto my butt on the wet sidewalk. “Shit.”

“Come here.” Christian’s voice and expression were gentle. He hauled me off the ground.

I was vaguely aware of people moving quickly past us, of umbrellas bouncing along and shoes splashing water up in arcs. I swiped at my eyes. Christian’s navy T-shirt was soaked and his eyelashes had droplets clinging to them. Then his face disappeared.

He was dropping back down to the sidewalk. On one knee. Pulling a box out of his pocket.

Oh, God.

I stared at him, heart racing.

“Bella Rose Bigelow, will you marry me?” he asked, peering at me with a very solemn and intense expression. His pale blue eyes were darker than normal, the way they got when we had sex. He opened the box and a simple, but very beautiful, pink diamond flashed up at me before he pulled it out. “Not because of Camp or this baby, but because I love you. Because I was a cynical asshole who didn’t believe in a happily ever after, and then you crashed into my life, with your amazingly sweet heart and a smile that turns my world upset down twenty times a day. Will you marry me because I want you to be the first thing I see when I wake up every morning and the last thing I see before I fall asleep at night? Will you marry me because you and I were meant to be?”

With each word, I grew warmer and warmer, despite the cool rain pummeling me. Now that was a proposal. I nodded frantically, not sure I could speak. I fingered my horseshoe necklace and swallowed hard. “Yes. I will marry you, for all those reasons. And because I love you too. So much.”

Christian stood up and slipped the ring onto my finger.

“It’s pink,” I said, thrilled beyond belief. It felt…personal. Like Christian had thought about me when he picked it out.

He nodded. “Pink for my perfect princess.” Then he kissed me. “I love you.”

Christian grabbed me in a hard hug, whirling me around in the rain, while I laughed and the crowd of people who had gathered around us clapped.

If that wasn’t a fairy tale ending I don’t know what would be.