Chapter Nine
Angela set her veil on the dresser. She glanced over at the bed. Should she remove all of her clothing, or should she put on her chemise, which she was accustomed to wearing at night? She and Sep hadn’t discussed what they were going to do. Last night, she had fallen asleep on her way to this house, so he had just tucked her into bed and slept beside her. Tonight, however, things weren’t so simple.
She took a deep breath to steady her nerves. She was going to have to consummate the marriage at some point, and the longer she waited, the more nerve-racking it was going to be. It was just like she used to tell her students: the sooner you get the dreaded assignment over with, the sooner you can go on to something you enjoy.
Not that she was dreading being in bed with Sep. He was a very kind soul. If he could be sweet and gentle with her out of the bedroom, she had no doubt he would be the same way in it.
That settled it. She would go to bed without any clothes on. Her hands shook ever so slightly as she unbuttoned her dress, took it off, and then proceeded to remove her undergarments. She had to keep telling herself that once she crossed the threshold into being a married woman in every sense of the word, this act of lovemaking would become a natural part of her life. This was the only time she was going to be nervous about it. After this, she would know exactly what to expect. And who knew? Maybe she would enjoy this. Maybe it was something she would look forward to. She had enjoyed the kiss Sep had given her immensely. And a kiss was just a prelude to lovemaking.
She slipped into the bed and brought the covers up to her chest. She took another deep breath and focused on the sounds around her. If she concentrated hard enough, she might be able to detect where Sep was at this moment.
From the open window, she heard the sound of the barn door closing. So he had finished his chores for the night. That meant he was on his way to the house. Which meant, he would soon be in this room. She took another deep breath and slowly released it. She didn’t know why the process of deep breathing didn’t do much to ease her nerves. The technique worked for her students when they were nervous. But in her case, it seemed to only make things worse because now her heart rate had sped up.
The kitchen door opened, and she heard the light tapping of Fred’s footsteps first, followed by Sep’s heavier footsteps. The door closed, and then things were pretty quiet. It took her a moment to make out Sep’s voice as he talked to the dog in low tones. She was sure she heard something about water and some food. Since she and Sep had had a full meal at his sister’s, she deducted he was feeding the dog.
After a couple of minutes, she heard Sep leave the kitchen and then come up the stairs. This was it. He was about to come into this room and find her waiting for him. She took another deep breath, though it wouldn’t do her much good. The only way things were going to get easier was to just go through the process of consummating the marriage.
When Sep came into the room, he looked over at her in surprise. “I didn’t think you were going to be in bed so early.”
She cleared her throat. “Well, it is ten o’clock.”
He sat in the chair and removed his boots. “Is it that late?”
“Yes. We were at your sister’s for a long time.”
He chuckled. “I should have warned you about her. She likes to talk. I think she was disappointed when we left. She seemed to like you a lot.”
“I like her, too. She’s a very nice person.”
“She is. Sometimes she can be too nice for her own good. Her first husband used to walk all over her because of it. Thankfully, Joel treats her the way she deserves to be treated.” He got up from the chair and glanced at her. “Forgive me for being blunt, but I’ve never been good at figuring out what people want. Are we going to… That is, should I keep some clothes on tonight?”
Sounding braver than she felt, she replied, “No.”
The room was so dark that she could only make out his silhouette as he undressed. That morning, she had seen his bare chest and his bare back. At the time, she hadn’t thought much of it because she was shocked to see the scars on his back. But now that she thought of it, he hadn’t been wearing anything but his drawers.
She swallowed the lump in her throat. It was good that it was dark. She couldn’t bring herself to do this in the light. Thank goodness he hadn’t wanted to do this during the day. She was nervous enough as it was.
He crossed the room, and she inadvertently took a moment to scan his entire body, or what she could see of it. Since it was dark, she couldn’t make out much, but she did detect something between his legs, something that looked to be erect.
Sep lifted the blanket on his side of the bed and scooted in next to her. He put his arm around her and drew her against him. Her face went warm when she realized the erect part of him was pressing up against her thigh.
“I hope you’ll forgive my inexperience,” he said. “If you’ll tell me what you like and what you don’t like, it’ll help me out a lot.”
Some of her nervousness dissipated. “I have no experience, either. I have no idea what I like or don’t like.”
“In that case, I’ll start with kissing you, and then we’ll see where things go. Then, if along the way, I’m doing something you don’t want, you can just let me know.”
She nodded. “That sounds like a good plan to me.”
He lowered his head to hers, and in the next instant, he was kissing her. The kiss was just as warm and exciting as it had been when he had kissed her that day. She liked this. She definitely liked kissing. He spent considerable time kissing her, and after a while, she found herself relaxing against him. At one point, he brushed her lower lip with his tongue. She hesitated for a moment, but then parted her lips and accepted him into her mouth. His tongue touched hers, and a spark shot straight through her. She hadn’t expected that.
He lifted his head. “Is that alright?”
Despite her sudden shyness, she forced out, “Yes, it surprised me, but I liked it.”
“I did, too. Do you mind if I do it again?”
“No.”
This time when he interlaced his tongue with hers, she gave in to the feeling of pleasure it brought. It certainly was a more intimate way to be kissed. She suspected it was a foretaste of what was to come, and if that was true, she should probably get much enjoyment out of lovemaking.
While still kissing her, he shifted so that the erect part of him was no longer pressing into her thigh. And in doing so, he was able to explore her with his hand. His fingers brushed the side of her neck and down her shoulder where her scars were. For a moment, she tensed, but then his hand traveled downward to her breast. She relaxed. If there was anything that could spoil the moment, it would be him not wanting to continue because of her scars.
But he did continue. He brought his hand to her breast and cupped it, or as much of it as he could. She was larger than most women, so he could not cup all of her. She wondered if that displeased him, but he let out a low moan that let her know he liked it.
His thumb traced her nipple, starting at the center and then tracing around the edge of it. This sent another spark straight through her, and this time she became aware of an unfamiliar ache settling between her legs. She liked this just as much as she liked intimate kissing, and she hoped he would continue. She squeezed his shoulders, hoping to convey this message. And he seemed to understand her because he traced her nipple again.
His mouth left hers and went to her nipple, which proved far more arousing than his fingers had been. She shifted against him, parting her legs, a move made purely on instinct, something that women probably did when they were getting ready for a man to enter them. He, in turn, brought his hand to the patch of curls between her legs and began to touch the folds of her flesh.
She let out a gasp. Before he worried that he had hurt her, she said, “It feels good.” She wiggled against him in silent encouragement for him to enter her.
He did as she wished. And a finger slid into her. This time she was the one who moaned. This seemed to encourage him further because he slid another finger into her.
“I had no idea I was capable of feeling something this wonderful,” she whispered as she lifted her hips to take him further into her.
In response, he proceeded to tease her nipple with his tongue. Without thinking, she rocked her hips in rhythm to the thrusting of his fingers, an action which served to heighten her arousal. And when she thought she couldn’t take it anymore, like something inside her was going to burst, she reached the peak and climaxed. Her body clenched around him as wave after wave of pleasure crashed into her. She had no idea lovemaking was going to feel this good.
She cried out to him, letting him know she was receiving pleasure in this act. Maybe a woman wasn’t supposed to be quite so vocal in her enthusiasm, but at the moment, she didn’t care. She was too caught up in the unexpected ecstasy she was experiencing. And Sep didn’t seem to mind. If anything, he was encouraging it because he was whispering how beautiful she was and how much he desired her. This made her climax all the more intense.
Just as she was descending from the heights of bliss, he pulled his fingers out of her and shifted so that his body was on top of hers, his erection nestled between her legs. And then, before she had time to register what was happening, he thrust into her. The movement caught her by surprise, and the sting startled her.
He remained still inside of her. His body was tense, and she suspected it was taking all of his willpower not to move. “Let me know when it’s safe for me to move inside you,” he whispered in her ear.
After a few seconds, the pain between her legs eased, and she relaxed. “I think now it’s alright.”
He moved slowly, sliding almost all the way out of her before slowly coming back in. He did this a few times, showing that he was trying to be as gentle as possible as he was giving her time to adjust to him. Then she realized this was part of the process a woman went through when she lost her virginity. She never had a man inside of her before, and it was natural that her body needed to expand for him. Next time, she was sure, she wouldn’t go through this initial stab of pain because next time, her body would already be used to him.
As he proceeded with slow movements, she further relaxed. This, in turn, made it easier for him to slide in and out of her. She lifted her hips and wrapped her legs around his waist, an action which allowed him to go deeper without any discomfort on her end.
“It feels good now,” she whispered to him. “You can go faster.”
Without needing further prompting, he did just that. She worked with him, her hips rising with each thrust as he worked faster and harder to reach his own climax. He made no secret in letting her know how much pleasure he was receiving from the act. She liked knowing he was finding fulfillment in her.
Just as she was becoming aware that his thrusting was making her feel good, he grew still and cried out as he released his seed. She wrapped her arms around him and pulled him close.
He collapsed on top of her, out of breath and spent. She kissed his cheek, and he brought his mouth to hers and kissed her. “That was the best thing that ever happened to me,” he whispered.
“I enjoyed it, too.”
“But it hurt for you.”
“At first. But then the pain went away, and then it felt good.”
“I’m glad the pain didn’t last. I want this to be something we can both look forward to.”
“It is. Now that I’m used to you, I won’t experience that pain again.”
“Good.”
Then he was kissing her again, and soon after, he was exploring her once more with his hands. One thing led to another, and they were making love once more. And as she suspected, there was only pleasure.
***
The morning sunlight filtered through the window, and a gentle breeze blew over Angela’s bare skin. Last night almost seemed like a dream. A very good and wonderful dream. She had no idea that being intimate with a man could be such a lovely experience. Sep had touched and kissed her in ways no one ever had before, and he had shown her great tenderness through the act. It made her feel complete. It made her feel as if she belonged with someone, as if she finally had a place and home to truly call her own.
She looked over at Sep, surprised when she saw that he was already awake and looking at her.
“I hope I didn’t startle you,” Sep said. “I woke up about a half hour ago, but I didn’t want to leave the bed. I was having too much fun watching you sleep.”
“What is so fun about watching a person sleep?” she asked in amusement.
“Well, I was enjoying the view.” He gestured to her face and then slipped his hand down her body, which the sheet didn’t do much to hide. “Last night, I didn’t get a good chance to look at you, but now I can see everything.”
For a moment, she wondered if that was really such a good thing after all. It meant her scars were fully exposed to him. The scars were a mixed blessing. Every time she looked at them, she remembered how close she’d come to death and how fortunate she was to have been saved. But they were ugly to look at.
She was tempted to roll onto her right side, just so that he didn’t get a good view of them, but something in his gaze stopped her from doing that. There was a tenderness in his expression that prompted her to let him see whatever he wanted. She supposed this was what marriage was about. The sharing of her life and everything that went with it with another person. The scars she bore were going to be a part of that. And, if she thought about it, she wasn’t the only one with scars. He had them, too. It’s just that she didn’t see them when he was facing her.
Sep leaned toward her and gave her a kiss. She thought he was going to deepen the kiss, but he lifted his head and gave a careful study of her body. He traced her skin with his fingers, starting with her face and then going down her neck and then lower still. When he came to the sheet, he lifted it and moved it to the side. Then he continued his casual exploration of her.
She was relieved when she realized his attention wasn’t drawn to her scars. Instead, it was directed to her entire body. And it was nice. It was nice to be seen as an entire woman, not just a bunch of scars. He brought his head back to her and kissed her again. This time, there was a greater urgency in the kiss, which now she knew was an indication of his arousal. His hand cupped her breast, and he traced her nipple with his thumb. A tingle shot through her.
She had known that they were going to make love the night before, but she hadn’t expected to do so first thing in the morning. This was also nice. It was nice that she didn’t have to feel self-conscious when she was naked in front of him. It was nice to know that he could look at her, all of her, and be aroused.
A yap from the side of the bed caught her attention. And it didn’t just catch her attention. It caught Sep’s attention, too. They stopped kissing and looked over at Fred, who was watching them with interest.
“I think I’ll let him out,” Sep told her. “There are a lot of things I’ll let Fred watch, but this isn’t going to be one of them.”
Sep got up from the bed and led Fred to the door. She took the opportunity to take a quick look at him. She had felt his penis the night before, but she hadn’t seen it. Now, as she did, she noted that he was fully erect, the signal that he was ready to make love to her. Though she was married to him and perfectly within her rights to look at him, she turned her gaze away in a bout of shyness. He might be able to study her with open curiosity at this point in their marriage, but it was apparent she needed more time to do the same with him.
She heard Sep take Fred down the stairs and out the kitchen door. Soon, he was back in the bedroom with her, and after he slipped back into the bed, he made love to her.