Madison

 

“Maddie?  Hey, Maddie!”

I twitched and nearly dropped the tray of empties I was holding.  My boss was giving me an impatient look.  “I need you to take these drinks to table five.”

“Sorry, Ren.”  I dropped the empties in the bin behind the bar and loaded up my tray with the new drinks as Ren disappeared into the kitchen.

“Who were you staring at?”  Liz, her dark pigtails sticking out from the sides of her head like tufts of fur, peered in the direction I was looking.  “Holy shit.  Is that the Ice Queen with Jack Williams?”

I nodded.  “I heard she was living with him now.”

“Since when?”  Liz gave me a look that suggested I was full of bullshit.

“Since last week.”

“No fucking way.  Like, I get why she’d be interested in him – Jack is so fucking hot – but why would he want to screw the Ice Queen?  I heard from Denise who heard from Sonya who heard from Allie, that the Ice Queen was screwing men for rent money.  Stupid little bitch deserves exactly what she gets.  She was such a cow in high school.”

Liz laughed like a donkey and didn’t notice the scowl I gave her.  “You shouldn’t gossip about other people.  Besides, maybe she’s changed.  High school was a long time ago.”

“Whatever,” Liz said.  “All I know is she’s just as poor as the rest of us now and she doesn’t even deserve to suck on Jack’s cock.  Which, between you and me, I heard is the size of a baseball bat.”

“Nobody has a dick that big.  It’s anatomically impossible.  Besides, do you really want a baseball bat stuck up your vagina?”

“If it came attached to Jack Williams, I might.”  Liz unbuttoned another button on her shirt before grabbing her boobs and rearranging them.”

“For fuck’s sake, Liz.  How many times have I asked you not to grab your own damn tits while you’re working?”  Ren said.  He was back behind the bar and he gave us both an irritable look.

Liz just shrugged, grabbed her tray of drinks and walked away.  I smiled apologetically at Ren and headed toward table five.  My boss was actually a pretty great guy.  When my dad died, his life insurance had been used to cover funeral costs and his medical bills.  Luckily, the house was paid for, but I still needed money for schooling costs and day-to-day necessities.

A week after the funeral, Ren had approached me about working weekends and a couple weeknights at the bar.  I had accepted gratefully.  My father hadn’t wanted me to work while I was in school, but I really didn’t have a choice.

As I dropped the drinks at table five, the door to the bar opened and he walked in.  I immediately felt too warm, too aware of the space around my body, as he nodded to me and walked to his usual table.  He sat down, the material of his shirt stretching to accommodate the width of his broad shoulders, and his jeans clinging to his thick thighs.  The dim bar lights glinted off the silver that was starting at his temples. 

I loved that hint of silver against the dark.  Too many times, I had dreamt about what it would be like to run my fingers through that dark hair.  An embarrassing teenage fantasy that I couldn’t seem to control.

I stuffed the tip that table five gave me into my apron pocket and wiped my sweaty palms against my short skirt before walking toward his table.

“Hi Jacob.  How are you tonight?”

“Hi, Maddie.  I’m good.  You?”

“I’m good, really good.  Do you want your usual?”

My voice was too high pitched, too girlish and ridiculous sounding in my ears.  I can’t help it though.  Just being near Jacob made my pulse race and my pussy wet.  It didn’t seem to matter that he was fifteen years my senior.  It didn’t seem to matter that he was my father’s best friend.  It didn’t seem to matter that he would never see me as anything more than the little girl he used to bring cherry popsicles.

I wanted Jacob.  As a little girl, I had loved him.  As a woman, I lusted for him, wanted to see him naked, wanted his hard and heavy body on top of mine.  I wanted him driving me into the mattress over and over again, pinning me down, whispering in my ear that I belong to him.  I wanted him to make me come all over his cock until I was screaming his name.

I realize that I was standing there staring at Jacob like an idiot.  He had pasted a polite smile on his face, but it was obvious he was wondering what the hell I was doing.

“Sorry, did you want your usual?”

“Yes please.”

“Okay, I’ll be right back with it.”

I returned to the bar.  Ren had already placed Jacob’s drink on the bar.  I set it on my tray and returned to Jacob.  I placed it on the table in front of him and he handed me the cash, shaking his head when I tried to give him his change. 

“That’s too much of a tip,” I said.

“It isn’t.”

“Well, thank you.”  I pushed the change in my apron pocket and tried desperately to think of some reason to stay.  “So, uh, how is work going?”

He took a sip of the whiskey.  “Good.  Busy.  Doing a job for Eleanor Rochen right now.”

“Oh yeah?  What are you building”

Jacob owned his own company.  He was a carpenter by trade and he picked up a lot of business in our small town.  Most of his evenings were spent building custom furniture that he sold out of a small warehouse type building on the edge of town.

“A new closet system.  She wanted something that mimicked IKEA’s closet solutions, but with a little more, as she puts it, class.”

I laughed a little too loudly.  Eleanor was one of the richest people in our town.  She was also Jacob’s age, twice divorced, and made no secret of wanting to fuck him.  I knew without a doubt that she had hired Jacob to build her a new closet just as an excuse to get him in her bedroom.  Hell, for all I knew, they were already fucking like bunnies.

Jealousy stampeded through my chest and I wondered if he could see it in my eyes.  I stared at his glass of whiskey instead.  “So, how much longer will you be on that job?”

“Depends on how many times Eleanor changes her mind, I suppose.  Why?”  Jacob took another sip of whiskey.

“I was thinking of finally getting those bookshelves built in dad’s office.”

Little lines appeared between his dark eyebrows.  “You sure that’s how you want to spend your money?”

I just shrugged.  Truthfully, I couldn’t exactly afford built-in bookshelves, but much like Eleanor, I was desperate to have Jacob in my home.  Although, unlike Eleanor, convincing him to join me in my bed would be impossible.  Still, I was willing to go a couple of months eating Ramen noodles, if it meant seeing Jacob on the regular.  God, I was pathetic.

He was studying me closely, his light green eyes roaming over my face until I could feel the blush rising in my cheeks.  Before my dad died, Jacob used to be at our house almost every weekend.  When the cancer had finally ravaged dad to the point where he could no longer do simple household chores, Jacob had stepped in.  He had mowed the lawn, stopped by every Wednesday night to put the trash out, and did any household repairs that needed to be done.

When dad was dying in the hospice, Jacob was there with us nearly every day.  He held dad’s hand, listened quietly as dad talked about the old days, and reassured him that he would take care of me.

After dad died, he’d kept his word, mostly.  He did take care of me.  He still mowed the lawn but he did it when he was certain I wouldn’t be there.  In the nine months since my dad had died, Jacob had become a ghost to me.  The only time I actually saw him now was Friday nights at the bar.  He came in around ten, sat in my section, and drank a glass of whiskey.  He was always gone by eleven.

His abrupt disappearance from my life hurt more than I could ever have imagined.  I tried not to let him see that hurt, try not to pester him like a little kid looking for attention.  He didn’t owe me anything.  He was dad’s best friend not mine, and I wasn’t his responsibility.  I was a grown woman who could take care of herself.  I knew that. 

But I missed him.  I missed his warm laugh, the way little lines appeared around his eyes when he smiled.  I missed everything about him, and asking him to build these bookshelves was just a desperate attempt to be around him again.

Then maybe you shouldn’t have thrown yourself at him the day you buried your father.

My face flamed.  Just remembering that night, remembering the way Jacob had practically dumped me to the floor and ran out of the house, filled me with shame.  It was my fault that he didn’t come around anymore, and I wished desperately that I could go back and change what happened that night.  Revealing my crush on him had been the stupidest thing I’d ever done.

I cleared my throat.  “Well, what do you think?  Any chance I can hire you to build those bookshelves?”

He hesitated.  “I don’t think so.  Sorry, Maddie.  It’s just really busy right now and with Eleanor’s job, I just don’t have the time.”

Disappointment and hurt rushed through me, but I forced myself to smile.  “Sure, I get that.  Thanks anyway.”

I headed back toward the bar, stopping in my tracks when Jacob called my name.  I turned and smiled again at him, knowing that hurt was written all over my face but not able to hide it.

“I’ll do it.”

“What?”

“I’ll build your bookshelves for you.  But it’ll have to be on the weekends.”

“That’s fine.  Weekends work well for me.”  I was almost giddy with excitement.  If Jacob built the bookshelves on the weekend, then I would actually be around while he was doing it.  I was in classes during the week and worked at the bar Friday nights and Saturday nights. 

“I’ll start tomorrow morning.  Say around eight?”

I didn’t finish my shift at the bar until close to two in the morning, and I was never awake before ten on the weekends, but I nodded my head like an eager little puppy.  “That works just fine.  I’ll see you then.”

 

I walked away quickly before he could change his mind.  My heart was pounding too fast and my legs were trembling like I was a frightened deer.  It was ridiculous to be so excited, but I couldn’t help myself.  I was going to be alone with Jacob for the first time in months, and I was already slipping into a dirty little fantasy that involved me completely naked and Jacob bending me over the desk in the office.

“God, that Jacob Turner is a silver fox, isn’t he?”  Liz was back, and I swallowed down my jealousy as she gave Jacob an appreciative look.  “He’s old, but I’d bang him like a screen door.”

“He’s not that old.”  I scowled at her.

“He’s not that young.  Still, if he asked me to fuck him, I wouldn’t say no.”

Liz leaned against the bar and admired her brightly painted fingernails.  “Of course, rumour is that Eleanor has her hooks in him.  I heard she has him building her a new closet system, but he spends most of his time dick deep in her worn-out old pussy.”

“Jacob isn’t like that.”  My voice was angrier than I intended.  “He’s not having sex with Eleanor.  He wouldn’t.”

“Why wouldn’t he?  Half the men in this town have slept with her.  Why would he be any different?”  Liz tapped her nails on the shiny surface of the bar.

“He just wouldn’t.  I know him better than you, and that’s not the kind of man he is.”

“Whatever, girl.”

Before I could reply, I was tapped on the back.  I turned around and smiled at my best friend, Rachel.  “What are you doing here?  Don’t small-town librarians have a curfew of ten o’clock?”

Rachel laughed as she slid onto the barstool and set her purse on top of the bar.  “Very funny, Maddie.  You know, just because I’m the librarian, doesn’t mean I’m a good girl.”

“That’s exactly what it means,” I said.  “Rachel, I love you, honey, but you don’t have a naughty bone in your body.”

“You know that half the men in this town want to put their naughty bone in Rachel, don’t you?”  Liz had peeked around me and she winked at Rachel.  “Hey, Rachel?  You do realize that just because you’re a librarian, you don’t have to wear your hair in a bun and clothes that hide every inch of skin.  Right?”

Rachel patted self-consciously at her hair.  “What’s wrong with wearing your hair in a bun?”

Liz laughed and poked me.  “Do you think she does it on purpose?  I mean, if I was a librarian, I’d dress like a dowdy old maid too, just so the boys would fantasize about what I look liked underneath the clothes.”

“Dowdy old maid?” Hurt flashed across Rachel’s face and I scowled at Liz again.

“Don’t be a dick, Liz.”

Liz just shrugged and sauntered away.  I patted Rachel’s arm.  “Don’t listen to her, honey.  There’s nothing wrong with the way you dress.”

Rachel studied my tight t-shirt and short skirt.  “Compared to you, I dress like a grandma.”

“This is my work uniform.  I dress like this because it gives me better tips.”

“Yeah, I guess.”  Rachel’s voice was doubtful.

“So, what are you doing here tonight?”

She shrugged.  “Can’t a girl visit her best friend at work?”

“Sure.”  I leaned closer.  “But aren’t you supposed to be on a date tonight with Jimmy?”

“I was,” she said.  “We had dinner and then he wanted to come back to my place and watch a movie on Netflix.”

“Uh oh,” I said.

“Yeah.”  Rachel dug in her purse for her Chapstick.  She slicked it on her full lips.  “I said no thank you and he got…”

“He got what?”

“Kind of pissy about it, but not really.”  She sighed.  “I don’t know.  He just got weirdly offended that I didn’t want to watch Netflix with him.”

“Uh, everyone knows what that really means.”

“That’s what I said to him and that’s when he kind of got offended.  Said that he really did mean a movie but if I was going to make it dirty, then just forget it.”

“Make it dirty?”  I could barely hold in my laughter.  “He actually said that?”

“Yes.  What’s wrong with me, Maddie?”

“There’s nothing wrong with you,” I said.  “Very few girls want to have sex with a guy on a first date.”

“Yeah, but I’m twenty-three years old and still a vir -”

Rachel’s face turned bright red.  Ren had appeared out of nowhere and she gave me a mortified look before clearing her throat.  “Hi, Ren.”

“Hey.  What can I get you to drink?”

“Uh, I’ll just take a beer.  Whatever you have on tap.”

He walked away, and Rachel’s gaze dropped to his ass.  “Oh my God,” she said in a low voice, “do you think he heard what I was saying?”

“Nah.  Ren’s old.  He can’t hear for shit anymore,” I said with a grin.

“He’s not that old.  He’s only thirty-one.”

“True,” I said.  “I need to get back to work before Ren fires me.”

“Sure.”  Her gaze drifted to Jacob who was still nursing his whiskey and staring at the small dance floor.  “Jacob looks good tonight.”

“Jacob always looks good,” I said.  “He agreed to build the bookshelf.”

Her eyes widened.  Rachel knew all about my crush on Jacob just like I knew all about her crush on Ren.  “Seriously?”

“Yes.  Can you believe it?”

“No, not really.”  She glanced again at him.  “He’s been avoiding you since your dad died.”

I winced.  “Yeah, I know.”

“Can you really afford these bookshelves?”

I nodded.  “Yeah, of course I can.”

She frowned at me.  “Are you sure?  There isn’t that much of your dad’s life insurance left and you still have another six months of school.  You’re not gonna have to drop out of school, just so you can have the chance to stare at Jacob’s butt while he builds bookshelves, are you?”

“Don’t be ridiculous,” I said.  “It’s all good, Rach.  I gotta get back to work.”