Chapter 16

Ruby couldn’t focus. Her heart was breaking over what Peanut must be going through. She kept remembering the confusion and then the horror on his face when he said he didn’t know his name.

Trying to stay busy, she started cleaning out the cutlery drawer, but needed scissors for the shelf paper, so she went to get the scissors, then saw dust on a bookshelf and began dusting, then decided to take the books out of the shelves and treat the wood. She went to get the lemon oil only to wander off and begin something else. All she knew to do was keep moving, staying one step ahead of losing it.

She turned on the television for noise and then forgot it was on. She kept moving from one room to another and still couldn’t find enough to do to keep her occupied.

Hiding wasn’t working out.

She was carrying a stack of clean bath towels into her bedroom to put in the master bath, got as far as the desk by the window, glanced out, and saw that damn patch of burned grass and lost it.

The pain in her chest was so sharp she thought her heart had exploded. She turned and threw the towels across the room, then began ripping the pillows from her bed, pulling the pictures from the wall and throwing them into the hall, oblivious to the sound of shattering glass. The rage inside her was choking—a strangling fist at the base of her throat that wouldn’t let go.

“Give me a little taste of heaven, and then slap me down with it,” she screamed and then started sobbing. “Yank my feet out from under me,” she cried. “Give me hope, give me love, dump it all in my lap on Sunday, and blow it up in my face on Friday!”

She tore the covers from her bed and threw them across the room. Then she grabbed a jacket from her closet, her purse and keys from the hall table, and stormed out of the house.

There were things she’d planned to do today, so she was going to do them. People could stare, say anything they wanted, laugh at her, pity her… None of it mattered. Nothing could hurt her worse than she hurt right now. She got in her car and drove straight to the church. There were people in need. She couldn’t help herself, but she could help them.

The small door in the back of the church was always unlocked during the day. It was close to the pastor’s office, and the one everyone used throughout the week. Ruby strode into the church and down the hall with her head up, knocked once at the office, and opened the door.

Judy Frost, the church secretary, looked up.

“It’s me,” Ruby said. “I came to see where we are with the clothing donations.”

“They’re in the adult Sunday School classroom,” Judy said.

“Thanks,” Ruby said, and closed the door between them.

Minutes later, she was knee-deep in donations, sorting them into three piles…Alice, Charlie, and Patricia.

It was cathartic—folding little shirts, blue jeans, dresses and stockings, sweaters, blouses, pajamas, nightgowns. Ruby stacked the shoes on the floor beneath the pews where she was putting the clothes.

She started on Charlie’s clothes next, and again began folding shirts and sweaters, T-shirts and jeans. Tennis shoes stacked. A pair of cowboy boots that she knew he would love. A coat, sock caps, gloves, even backpacks for both of them.

And last, the clothes for Alice. When she was finished, Ruby stepped back, not the least bit surprised by the generosity of the people of Blessings. She knew more clothes might be coming in, but there was no sense waiting to take what was already here.

Determined to stay moving, she started carrying things to her car, an armload at a time. It took her six trips. She stopped back at the office and opened the door.

Again, Judy looked up, and this time Ruby saw the pity in her eyes and it made her angry.

“I’m taking what’s already here to the Conroys’ house. If more comes in between now and tomorrow, I’ll deal with it then. But they need this, and there’s no sense making them wait. See you in church.”

Then she was gone.

She drove up Main until she got to Carter’s Gifts and went in. The owner was behind the counter, ringing up a customer.

“Hello, Erin,” Ruby said.

Erin Solomon looked up. “Oh, Ruby, I’ll be with you in a minute.”

“I know what I want,” Ruby said, and headed toward the back of the store where the children’s toys were shelved.

Pitty-Pat needed a doll. Every little girl needed a doll. Ruby looked along the shelf where the dolls were displayed. She picked out a baby doll wearing a pink nightgown and wrapped in a pink and white blanket. Then she picked out a couple of board games and an elaborate Lego set for Charlie to put together, and carried them all to the counter.

Erin eyed Ruby’s face, started to make a comment, then caught a glimpse of the fire in her eyes and changed her mind.

“Will this be all?” she asked.

“Yes,” Ruby said.

“Do you need them wrapped up for gifts?”

“No, thanks,” Ruby said, and popped her debit card into the chip reader and signed her name.

She left the gift shop with her bags, tossed them into the front seat, and then drove to the Piggly Wiggly, knowing her presence would be all the encouragement someone would need to approach her, but the kids needed milk.

She got a shopping cart and went straight to the dairy case, grabbed a gallon of whole milk, swung by the makeup aisle, chose some makeup for Alice, went to the pet aisle and got a big chew bone for Booger. She was on her way to self-checkout when she ran straight into Rachel Goodhope.

Their gazes met, and to Ruby’s relief, Rachel said nothing about what had happened. Instead, she pointed to the dog bone and grinned.

“I bet I know where you’re going.”

The smile on Rachel’s face was the lift Ruby needed.

“Booger needs a little pick-me-up too, even though I came to get milk. With two young children, I didn’t want Alice to run out.”

Rachel pushed her shopping cart aside and wrapped her arms around Ruby. “You have a loving heart, my friend. I want to be you when I grow up.”

Ruby swallowed past tears. “No, you don’t. I promise.”

Rachel shook her head. “Yes. Yes, I do. I admire you more than any one woman I’ve ever known. You are a survivor, Ruby. You show all of us how to be in the world. Now go give Booger his bone, and let me know if that sad-faced dog can smile.”

Ruby was smiling all the way through self-checkout and made it back to her car without losing her composure. She was thinking of little girls and dolls as she drove to their house at the edge of town.

Charlie was carrying a sack of garbage to the Dumpster when Ruby drove up. He saw her and waved, then dumped the garbage and came running back.

“Hello, Miss Ruby!”

“Hello, Charlie. I had some free time and decided to bring the clothes today instead of tomorrow. Would you mind helping me carry them in?”

“Oh no, ma’am, I wouldn’t mind at all,” he said.

Ruby opened the trunk. “Your clothes and Pitty-Pat’s clothes are in here, along with shoes. Your mother’s things are in the back seat, so don’t mix them up, okay?”

“Okay,” Charlie said. He grabbed an armful of clothes for his little sister and headed toward the house.

Ruby got the toys and groceries and walked in behind him.

Alice was smiling as she entered the living room with her daughter. “My goodness, what’s happening now?” she said.

“Miss Ruby brought the clothes, Mama. Now we can enroll in school,” Charlie said. “All of these here are for Pitty-Pat.”

Alice clapped her hands. “This is wonderful. Wonderful!” she said, as Charlie carried the clothes into her bedroom and put them on her bed, then went back for more.

Ruby set her things down on the kitchen table.

“Alice, I worried you might be getting low on milk, so I brought another gallon.”

“That is so thoughtful of you,” Alice said, and put it straight into the refrigerator.

Ruby grinned at Pitty-Pat. “I also brought the kids a couple of things. Is it okay if I give them to Charlie and Pitty-Pat now?”

“Of course!” Alice said.

When Ruby took the doll out of the sack, the little girl squealed. The joy of seeing her face was something Ruby knew she’d never forget.

“She doesn’t have a name, and she didn’t have a home. I thought you might like to take care of her,” Ruby said.

Pitty-Pat’s eyes widened as she fell right into make-believe.

“She can live with me,” Pitty-Pat said.

“Wonderful. What are you going to name her?” Ruby asked.

Pitty-Pat looked down at the baby, intently studying her face. “She says her name is Baby Sue.”

“That’s a good name,” Ruby said. “Thank you for giving her a home.”

The little girl nodded seriously and wandered off into the other room, already talking to the baby as if it were real.

“Thank you for that,” Alice said.

Ruby shrugged. “Truthfully, coming here today is what I needed. I also brought a few little things for you.” She handed the sack of makeup to Alice.

“Oh dear lord, thank you so much,” Alice said. “It’s strange how a simple tube of lipstick can make a woman feel, isn’t it?”

Charlie came into the kitchen. “I’m almost through, Miss Ruby. I still have to get the shoes.”

“I brought you something, Charlie. I don’t know if it’s anything you’ll like, but I didn’t want to leave you out.”

She handed him the sack with the two board games and the Lego set.

“Mama, look! Monopoly! Just like the one that burned. All of us play this game. Miss Ruby, thank you, and this other game looks fun too.” Then he saw the Lego set and gasped. “Oh man…I always wanted one of these. Thank you, Miss Ruby, thank you,” and for the second time that day, Ruby got a hug.

She was smiling through tears. “You’re welcome, honey. Last but not least, this is for Booger.”

Charlie grinned, opened the package, and immediately gave the bone to the big hound. Booger woofed then chomped down on it and carried it back to his bed.

“Now, how about I help you carry in the shoes?” Ruby said.

“I’m feeling much better. I’ll help too,” Alice said.

The last of the donations were carried into the house before Charlie disappeared with his new gifts.

Pitty-Pat was putting Baby Sue to bed on the sofa, and Alice stood in the doorway, waving goodbye as Ruby drove away.

Ruby didn’t want to go home. Instinct sent her to the Curl Up and Dye.

She came in the back door like always, surprising Mabel Jean and the twins, as well as their clients.

“Ruby!” Vera cried.

“You’re just in time!” Vesta added.

“What do you need?” Ruby asked.

“Can you fill up the soap dispenser in the bathroom and put out some new toilet paper and a roll of paper towels? We’ve been so busy today that I haven’t had a chance to catch up.”

“Consider it done,” Ruby said as she put her jacket and purse away, and went to work.

When she was through with that, she grabbed a broom and began sweeping up hair clippings, then got out a new stack of towels for the shampoo station. When the phone rang, she was the one who answered.

“Curl Up and Dye, this is Ruby.”

There was a little gasp on the other end of the line, then a slight pause.

“Hello?” Ruby said.

“Oh, I’m sorry. I was just… Oh never mind. Hi, Ruby, this is Precious Peters. I need a new perm. This one has grown out to nothing.”

“Just a minute. Let me get out my book, and I’ll see what I have.” She got her appointment book and flipped to next Tuesday. Her regulars were already penciled in, but there were plenty of gaps. “How about two p.m. on Tuesday?”

“That would be perfect,” Precious said. “Thank you…and Ruby…I’m glad you’re feeling well enough to come back to work. We sure have missed you.”

“Thank you,” Ruby said. “It’s good to be back.”

She hung up the phone, ignored the ache in the pit of her stomach, and then made herself smile at the next customer who was coming in the door. And so it continued.

By the time the last client had been seen and the girls were cleaning up their stations to leave, Ruby felt like she’d never been gone.

“See you in church?” she asked as Mabel Jean was putting on her coat.

“No, I’m going to Savannah tomorrow. It’s my granny’s eighty-first birthday. We’re all meeting at the nursing home to eat lunch with her.”

Ruby smiled. “That’s wonderful! Eat a piece of cake for me.”

“I will!” Mabel Jean said, and waved as she went out the back door.

Vesta and Vera were putting on their coats as well. “Are you leaving now too?” they asked.

Ruby nodded. “Yes. The front door is locked, and I already made out the night deposit. I’ll drop that by the bank on my way home. See you in church?”

“Yes, ma’am,” Vesta said. “And let’s all go to Granny’s afterward.”

“Yes, let’s,” Ruby said. “See you there.”

They went out the back door.

Ruby heard their car start, and then they were gone.

She stood for a few moments, savoring the silence as she gazed around at her little shop and what she had created. Without planning it, somehow this place had become a place of shelter. The place where problems were shared and solutions made. A place where things that went wrong were made right.

It had healed Ruby once. She had to have faith it could do it again.

“See you next Tuesday,” she said as she turned out the lights, and then she too was gone.

* * *

The last scans they’d run on Peanut’s head were encouraging. The brain bleed had stopped, and the swelling was beginning to go down as well. The nurses continued to wake him at intervals because of the concussion, and every time they did, they asked him simple questions, like “What do you remember?” and “Do you know who’s president?” and “Do you know how old you are?”

Every time, he would ask them his name, and each time they told him, he thought they surely were making a joke.

Paul Quick came in that evening making rounds and woke Peanut up.

“Good evening,” Dr. Quick said. “How do you feel?”

Peanut was sick of that question.

“The same,” he mumbled. “I hurt and can’t remember stuff.”

“Well, that’s not unusual, considering your injury. I have confidence that will change with time.”

“What’s my name?” Peanut asked.

Dr. Quick grinned. “Peanut Butterman.”

Peanut frowned. “Not funny,” he muttered, and closed his eyes.

Dr. Quick chuckled and patted him on the shoulder.

“When you remember, you’ll realize we’re not kidding you, son. Just rest. If you continue to progress, we’ll move you out of critical care into a regular room soon.”

“Am I married? Do I have a family?” Peanut asked.

The doctor frowned. “No, you aren’t married, and you have no family.”

Peanut’s eyes filled with tears. “I don’t matter to anyone?”

The doctor sighed. “That’s not entirely true. You have a girlfriend.”

Peanut’s heart skipped a beat. There was someone who knew him well enough to have real answers. “Then where is she?”

Quick hesitated, then confessed.

“She was here the first time you woke up, and you were so upset I told her not to come back for a while.”

Peanut didn’t like that.“Wanna see her.”

“I’m not sure if—”

“Wanna see her, damn it,” Peanut muttered.

“Then I’ll give her a call,” the doctor said. “I’ll leave word at the nurses’ desk that she will be allowed to visit now.”

Peanut sighed again, his eyes already closing.

“Stupid decision,” he muttered, and then he was out.

Dr. Quick grinned.

“Your opinion has been noted.”

* * *

Ruby stopped at Broyle’s Dairy Queen and ordered a burger and fries, then drove home in silence, dreading the moment she had to go inside.

She pulled up into the driveway, and then grabbed her things and the keys and let herself in. She left the food in the kitchen and went down the hall, wincing at the sight of the broken frames and shattered glass.

She stepped across the threshold into her bedroom, her shoulders drooping in defeat at the sight of what she’d done.

“I owe you an apology,” she said. “I’ll be back in a little while to fix this.”

Then she went back to the cooling food, put her burger and fries on a plate, grabbed a glass of iced tea, and took the food to the living room to watch TV.

She ate without tasting it, trying to fill up the empty feeling in her heart by filling her stomach, but her food choice had not been wise. She nibbled at the burger so she didn’t have to open her mouth too wide, and then finally gave up, took it apart and ate the hamburger patty by breaking it up and nibbling on the bite-size pieces, along with eating some of the fries.

Finally, she gave up and threw the rest of it in the garbage, then gathered her cleaning equipment and went to put her little house back in order.

She worked through each task in a slow, methodical manner, beginning with sweeping up the glass and throwing away the frames and pictures. There was nothing personal about any of it, and she didn’t want to look at them again.

She had to remake the bed one layer at a time—from the mattress cover to the sheets, then the blankets, all the way to the old bedspread—before she tucked in her pillows and refolded the bath towels. The last thing to do was what she’d come to do earlier—put the bath towels away.

Afterward, she sat down on the side of the bed, trembling from emotional exhaustion and trying to talk herself out of church tomorrow, then remembered she’d already made a date with Vera and Vesta to go to Granny’s after church—the same date she’d made with Peanut a week ago today.

She shoved her hands through her hair, then headed for the bathroom, to the mirror above the sink. She eyed the three little stitches in her mouth, got her manicure scissors and tweezers and washed them in alcohol. Then before she could change her mind, she leaned in closer to the mirror, cut the first stitch and removed it with the tweezers. It stung enough to make her eyes water, but she kept going until they were gone.

She laid everything down and looked at herself again, then smiled. The simple removal of those stitches was another step in putting the past behind her.

Her gaze moved from her mouth to her hair and how Peanut had pulled it away from her face. She closed her eyes, remembering…

You are the color of love to me. I don’t care what you do with your hair.

She looked at herself again, ran her fingers through her hair, backed away a couple of steps and narrowed her eyes for a different view, then headed for the storage cabinet in the utility room.

She began going through the tints and the dyes, picking one up and then putting it back and looking for another. She was still undecided when her cell phone began to ring. She put down the box she was holding and ran to the living room to answer.

“Hello?”

“Ruby, this is Dr. Quick.”

“Oh my God,” Ruby moaned and sank to her knees as her legs went out from under her. “What happened?”

“Oh…I’m sorry, nothing, nothing. I didn’t mean to scare you. I wanted to give you an update on Peanut’s condition. The brain bleed stopped. The swelling in his brain appears to be going down. He still has no memories but is communicating well when we wake him.”

“Oh, thank God,” Ruby said. “Thank you for letting me know.”

“There’s a bit more. He has asked if he has family. I told him no, which seemed to make him sad. He asked if there was anyone who cared about him. I told him that he has a girlfriend. He asked why you hadn’t visited. I told him that you had been there once when he first awoke, and that he was so upset I asked you not to visit. He was not happy with me, so I told him that I would let you know you could visit now.”

Ruby started to cry.

“Oh, thank you, thank you, Dr. Quick. The last two days have been the worst two days of my life…even worse than being kidnapped.”

“I’m sorry,” Dr. Quick said. “I had no intentions of hurting you. I was so focused on making sure that he didn’t cause himself harm by getting upset.”

“I understand. So are you saying I can visit any time now?”

“Yes. I told the nurses you were allowed, but not tonight, okay? I want to give him one more night of rest.”

“Yes, okay,” Ruby said. “Thank you for calling.”

“You’re welcome. Have a nice night,” the doctor said, and hung up.

Ruby pulled herself up and took a deep breath.

“Thank you, Lord,” she whispered. She dropped the phone onto the sofa and headed back to the storage cabinet. In a matter of six days, life had yanked her through hell backwards. It was time to turn herself around.

She shoved all of the boxes to one side and grabbed the one in the back corner, took out a pair of latex gloves, her coloring equipment, and a large plastic cape, then headed for her bathroom. This was probably going to set all of the churchgoers on their ears tomorrow, but they’d already seen the ugly part of her past. A new hair color wouldn’t be that unusual for her, even if they’d never seen it like this before.

She took everything out and laid it on the bathroom counter, fastened the cape around her neck, and opened the box. The last thing she did right before she started was put on the gloves.

“Here we go again,” Ruby said, and reached for her hair.