The party my sister held for my graduation ended several hours ago. We decided to sleep here at the clubhouse instead of going home. I’ve been lying in bed staring at the clock on the nightstand for the past hour. I’ve tried everything to get myself to relax enough to fall asleep, reading, watching television, even taking a long bath, but so far nothing has worked.

Blowing out a frustrated breath, I get up out of bed and pad across the room stopping in front of my bedroom door. While standing here, I contemplate whether or not I should go through with what I know is my only chance at a peaceful night sleep. I know exactly what I need. I need him. Gabriel. He’s become my only source of comfort since I was kidnapped. I can still hear those men’s voices inside my head telling me all the vile things they wanted to do to me. But when I’m with Gabriel, the voices disappear. And now I can’t sleep without him next to me.

The nights spent at home are the worst. It’s become more and more difficult to find excuses to give my sister as to why I sometimes want to spend the night here instead. Although, I’m pretty sure Bella knows. My sister is very perceptive when it comes to me. As she should be. My sister practically raised me. She has been more of a mom to me than our actual mom. Ever since I could remember, my sister has always been protecting me. Shielding me from our father when we were younger and my mother’s last husband Lee. I don’t remember our dad, and Bella doesn’t speak of him, but I know enough to know he was not a good man. I know Bella is feeling guilty for not being able to stop what happened with Lee. What I went through was nothing compared to the horrendous experience Bella had to endure. No way should she feel bad for me. But that’s the big sister in her. Always more worried about me rather than herself. I’m actually pretty shocked she hasn’t called me out on the situation she suspects with Gabriel. My sister has no problem being in my business. Not that I mind. Bella is my best friend.

I’m a homebody and an introvert. I never made friends easily. I had one or two friends in school, but other than that I kept to myself. I prefer it that way. It’s just how I am. I know how some people look at me. Like they don’t understand how I prefer to read about made up stories instead of going out and making my own. Maybe it’s lame. And maybe I do play it safe. But for the most part I am content with how things are. Besides my obsession with the Cuban down the hall. How I wish I had the guts to confess my feelings for him. I’m almost positive my sister knows how I feel, and as long as she’s not going to bring up why I prefer the clubhouse over home, then neither will I. Most days I would come to the clubhouse after school, because Bella would be here or at work. I sometimes would feign a headache and tell her I’d rather stay.

The night the club rescued me from Los Demonios, Gabriel brought me into his room and stayed by my side for a week. He let me sleep in his bed, while he slept in a chair beside me. I never understood why he felt the need to watch over me, to be my protector. He never allowed anyone to bother me, unless it was Bennett or Lisa. It was like he knew I didn’t want the attention. After a week, I started feeling guilty for taking over his personal space. So, with a heavy heart I decided to move back into my own room.

Gabriel did not agree with my decision. The king of broodiness responded with a simple, "No." I ended up leaving his room anyway. That night as I lay awake, unable to sleep, I regretted my decision. I soon found myself walking down the hall and sneaking into his room every night after he’d gone to sleep.

Looking back, now I realize how naïve that was of me, he could have had a woman in there for Christ’s sake. No way would I have wanted to walk in on something like that considering I had the biggest crush on the man. I would have been devastated. Gabriel was always alone though. I would come into his room when I figured he’d be asleep and then quietly slip under the covers, always careful not to get too close. I only needed to be close enough to feel safe. The first time I snuck into his room, I woke up the next morning to an empty bed. I began to panic. Would he be mad I came in uninvited? What was he going to say to me? An hour later after working up the nerve to go downstairs for breakfast, I ran into Gabriel in the kitchen. He was standing at the counter with his back to me fixing himself a cup of coffee.

"Morning, Cariño Sweetheart," he greeted me without even turning around to look and see if it was me who was standing behind him. How did he know it was me?

"Good morning, Gabriel," I return softly, my heart pounding.

Walking out of the kitchen with his cup in hand, no other words were spoken. I continued with the same routine night after night. Gabriel was always up and out of the bed before I woke, and he never made mention of my co-sleep dependency.

So here I stand staring at the door. It’s been a couple weeks since I’ve stayed at the clubhouse, and already I’m back to my old habits. Walking down the all too familiar hall, stopping outside the door of the man who consumes my every thought. I stand motionless. Battling my own thoughts whether or not this is a good idea. I need to stop the dependency I have on this man. It’s not healthy. I’ll be leaving for college soon, then what? Shaking my head, I go to turn and head back to my own room when his deep voice stops me, sending chills down my spine.

"You can come in, Cariño Sweetheart," Gabriel calls out.

How the hell did he know I was here?

"I can see your shadow under the door."

Well, that answers my silent question.

Taking a deep breath, I slowly open his door. The room is dark. The only light is from the small lamp on the table in the corner of the room. A shirtless Gabriel is sitting on the bed with his back against the headboard. In his hands is a sketch pad and pencil. He’s every bit as beautiful as the first time I saw him. At 6ft 4in, and a full beard, and broad shoulder Gabriel is a beast. Almost every inch of his body from the waist up is covered in tattoos. I often wondered how far down the ink goes. His black hair is cropped short on the sides leaving it a few inches longer on top. Deep brown eyes that most people would find off putting, but for me they hold kindness. His face might say fuck off, but his eyes tell the truth. You only need to take a closer look.

Standing in his room with my back against the door, we engage in an intense stare off. I feel his dark eyes appraising me from head to toe. Feeling a tad self-conscious, I begin tugging at my oversized night shirt. I’m completely covered with my shirt stopping a couple inches above my knees, but maybe I should have put on some sweatpants anyway.

Nodding his head toward the spot in the bed next to him, Gabriel gives me the signal I was hoping for. Not wasting anytime, I make my way over to his bed, lift the blanket and crawl in. When my head hits the pillow, I close my eyes relishing the smell of Gabriel’s scent and my body instantly relaxes. The last thing I remember before falling asleep is the smooth rumble of his voice, "Sleep, Cariño Sweetheart."

I wake sometime in the middle of the night feeling warm, too warm. It takes me a moment to realize the source of the heat. I’m lying on my side with Gabriel pressed up against my back. He has one arm under my neck and the other wrapped around my middle. Sometime in the night my shirt must have rode up around my waist, because I feel his arm on my bare skin. My heart rate begins to pick up. This is new. Never has he touched me while we lay in bed together. Both always keeping a respectable distance.

Though I’ve always fantasized about this exact moment, I never expected it to happen. He’s so close I can feel the hard length of his cock pressed against me. He must be dreaming. No way is Gabriel hard for me. Loving the feel of him, I wiggle a bit pushing my back into him. Tightening his grip around my waist, I feel his breath on my neck when he rumbles out my name. "Alba."

A small gasp escapes my mouth. He’s not dreaming. And it’s me who’s turning him on. With a great deal of courage, I make the decision right then to go after something I’ve wanted for months. Reaching my arm around my head, I thread my trembling fingers through Gabriel’s hair, while pushing my butt further back into his erection. I’m so nervous. Not of losing my virginity but of him rejecting me. I’ve never wanted anything more than to give myself to this man.

"You sure?" he rasps. Tilting my head back slightly.

"Yes," I whisper with a shaky voice.

As soon as the word leaves my mouth Gabriel’s hand that was around my waist slowly begins to make its way down. I feel his large hand slip inside my panties. I spread my legs slightly to give him better access. A groan escapes my lips when his long finger begins to slide through the wet folds of my pussy, "So fuckin’ wet," he breathes.

Twisting my body slightly, with my hand still in his hair, I pull Gabriel too me. I want him to kiss me. His kiss will be my first. Knowing what I seek, he brings his mouth crashing down on mine. He tastes so good, like cinnamon and whiskey. His tongue tangles with mine as he gently starts to thrust his finger inside of me. My breath hitches. His fingers are a tight fit, but soon the discomfort fades. I’m so close to the edge my legs begin to shake.

I break our kiss, "I want you inside me." And I do. My body is aching for more. I see a look of hesitation on his face. He knows I’m a virgin. He was in the room with Bennett when he was examining me after my kidnapping. I had told them that I wasn’t raped. Bennett wanted to give me some medication to help me sleep, but in order to do that he needed to know if I was on any other medications. I confessed the only medicine I was taking was birth control. When I saw Gabriel tense. I immediately explained the pill was for keeping my periods regular. The whole exchange was embarrassing.

Wanting him to know I’m sure, I reach behind me and grab his long thick cock in my hand and squeeze. I have no idea what I’m doing. I watch Gabriel’s nose flare and his eyes close while letting out a growl. I must be doing something right. Then in one swift movement he quickly rids himself of his boxer briefs. Next, with one hand, he gently slides my panties down my legs and tosses them to the floor behind him, before taking the hem of my night shirt, tugging it off over my head. Grabbing a hold of my thigh, Gabriel brings my leg back to rest over his hip.

"Give me your mouth," he demands.

Turning my head, I give him what he asks for. A second later, I feel the head of his cock at my entrance. Slowly he pushes in, inch by inch until he’s met with resistance. Fisting my hand in his soft dark hair, I brace myself for what’s to come. While holding me in his tight embrace, Gabriel thrust the rest of the way in. His mouth swallowing my cry. His tongue strokes mine softly, slowly, calming me down. Once my body relaxes and I’ve become used to the foreign sensation of being so full, Gabriel begins to move. Pain turns to pleasure. I start rocking my hips back meeting his thrusts. When he reaches up pinching my nipple, I gasp, and I can’t stop the noises coming from my mouth.

"I’m close," I pant, when I feel my orgasm start to build. As soon as the words leave my mouth, he pulls out of me. When I start to protest, he quickly turns me on my back, settling himself between my legs while sitting up on his knees.

"I want to look at your face when you come," Gabriel proclaims. In this position, I get a good look at this man’s beautiful body for the first time. The tattoos I’ve wondered so much about, do in fact stop at his waist. I’m also getting my first look at his cock and it’s perfect. I’m brought out of my trance when he reaches those big hands of his under my ass, pulling me until my lower half is lying on top of his thighs and I wrap my legs around his waist. I watch him as he fists his cock, giving it a few strokes before he takes his shaft, running it along my slit. His actions causing my eyes to flutter. My hands fist the sheets on the bed when the sensation of his cock teasing my clit becomes too much. The look on Gabriel’s face says he enjoys teasing me.

"Gabriel, please," I beg. This time it’s him who gives me what I ask for. Bringing a hand on each side of my hips, he thrusts into me all the way to the hilt. A string of Spanish leaves his mouth. I haven’t a clue what he’s saying. Reaching up, I grab a hold of his forearms. With both hands still holding my hips, he guides himself in and out of me.

It doesn’t take long before I feel my orgasm building once again. And from the tight cords in his neck, I’d say he’s close himself. Leaning forward Gabriel scoops me up into his arms, pressing his lips to mine. With me straddling his lap, we are now chest to chest. I let the motion of his hips guide our rhythm.

He breaks our kiss, "Every part of you is mine," he breathes into my ear with his arms wrapped tightly around my body, and our mouths fused together once more. My orgasm crashes through me and his mouth catches my scream. With one last thrust, he plants himself deep inside me as he growls his own release. We stay in this position with him holding me, our bodies covered in sweat and both of us trying to catch our breath. Soon my breathing slows, and my body becomes limp. I’m completely sated. Gently, Gabriel leans forward and lays me down on my back. As soon as my head hits his pillow, my eyes close and sleep takes me. The last thing I remember is the rough feel of Gabriel’s beard as he kisses my lips softly before I hear him say, "Sleep, Cariño Sweetheart."

The next morning, I wake to find Gabriel still sleeping. Sitting up in bed, I can’t help but to stare at him for a few minutes. Almost as if he senses my eyes on him, his pop open.

"Morning," I say shyly. Slightly embarrassed I was caught ogling him.

"Mornin’, babe." He grins. Scooting himself up to lean against the headboard, I take in all that is Gabriel. From his bushy beard I love so much, to his broad tattooed chest, all the way down to his cock that’s on full display. Gabriel is not shy about his body. As for me, I’m clutching the sheet tightly around my exposed self.

"Babe?" Gabriel speaks loudly.

"What?" I ask.

"I asked you a question, Cariño Sweetheart." He chuckles.

"Oh. What was the question?"

"I asked what your plans were for the day."

"Well, Bella and I were supposed to start going through all my stuff at home, seeing what I wanted to take with me when I leave in a couple of weeks."

I watch as Gabriel’s form stiffens. Swinging his legs over the side of the bed, he reaches down and picks his jeans up off the floor.

"That’s good." He states in a robotic tone as he stands up putting his jeans on.

"Um…I was thinking I could stay in Polson. Go to community college."

"What the hell for?" he snaps, shocking me. This is not the same man from two minutes ago.

"I just thought that we—” I begin, but he cuts me off.

"Thought what, Alba? Thought because we fucked last night, that it would be reason for you to stay? Don’t go changing your plans for me."

"Look," he says sighing. "I had a good time last night, but it was just sex, Alba. Don’t go gettin’ stars in your eyes. This is not like one of your romance books you keep your nose buried in. This is real life," he says standing there staring at me with his dark, unblinking eyes. His face showing no emotion.

I’m unable to hold back the steady stream of tears running down my face. The man in front of me is not my Gabriel, my protector. No, the man in front of me is the Gabriel that everyone else knows him to be. Had I known all I was to him was a fuck, I never would have gone through with it. That’s a lie. Being with Gabriel last night was the best night of my life. It breaks my heart knowing the feelings are one-sided.

Climbing out of bed, I drop the sheet I had clutched to my body. I feel so humiliated I’d even broached the subject of me staying. I was naïve enough to think last night meant anything. Pulling my shirt over my head, I refuse to look at him. I open the door to his room when he calls out, "Cariño Sweetheart."

Without turning around, I respond in a shaky voice, "I’m not your Cariño," and walk out of his room. I ignore the sound of Gabriel’s roar and the sound of shattering glass hitting the wall.

* * *

Three weeks later, my sister and I are in my room packing the last of my things to take to college. I never told Bella what happened that morning after I slept with Gabriel. When I came banging on her and Logan’s door, asking her to take me home, she begged me to tell her. I never want to speak of what happened. And I haven’t seen him since that morning. I refuse to go to the clubhouse anymore. Though I know she suspects it’s something to do with a certain asshole Cuban. Bella knows I’ll tell her when I’m ready.

"Alba, do you seriously need all these books? Why don’t you leave them here?"

"I need my books, Bella," I huff. She doesn’t understand my love of books runs deep.

Snickering, "Fine, you win, sis."

"Are you two finished yet? We need to get on the road." Logan asks from the doorway of my room.

"Yup, these are the last two boxes." I tell him.

Roughly four hours later we arrive in Bozeman, where I’ll be attending Montana State University studying graphic design.

My sister rode with me in my new truck while Logan followed. Bella wanted to spend as much time with me as possible. And what better way to spend four hours than listening to our favorite 80’s and 90’s music.

Once Logan has finished hauling my boxes up to my dorm room, my sister and I prepare to say our goodbyes, which include endless tears. Logan literally had to pry us apart. Okay, I’m exaggerating, but it almost came to that. Bella and I have never spent time apart. We’ve always been each other’s crutch. But it’s time for me to grow up. She’ll be married soon, and I need to learn to stand on my own two feet.