CHAPTER 2
Miss Julia Jackson was not at all what Dev had expected. The warmth of welcome gleamed in her eyes—and what a thought to have! “Welcome” into his very own home? But it hadn’t seemed like a home for a long time now—not since Heather and Annella had both been taken from him. And, after that greeting he’d given them, he’d probably never see that light in her eyes again. Not that it mattered.
Most days, it seemed he’d just been going through the motions, more for Jamie’s sake than anything else. And, he’d felt…guilty. He missed his little girl. He longed to hold Heather close one more time; to feel her small arms around his neck, and hear the childish smack of her lips as she kissed his cheek.
Annella had had a choice. She should’ve fought harder to live for Jamie. And for him.
It was damn hard to get up every day and heave his butt out of bed to do the same thing over and over again and try to be a good father to Jamie when he came through the door bone-tired. Should’ve hired a nursemaid a lot sooner.
Maybe he shouldn’t blame Annella for dying—but he did. He couldn’t help but let the bitterness of her departure boil up and over into his everyday life—because that life would’ve been so much easier if he hadn’t had to do every blessed thing by himself. Alone.
Now, he carried Jamie to the great room from the kitchen doorway and sat down on the settee, close to the fire. Jamie looked at him with somber chocolate eyes, and muttered something that sounded like “da”—but Dev wasn’t sure.
“He’s trying to talk to you,” Lauralee stated, having followed him. She stood close by, as if to protect Jamie.
Dev forced himself to smile at her, but she didn’t return it. He found himself at an utter loss as to what to say to her. Every time he looked at her, the reminder of losing his daughter struck deep in his gut.
“You should at least tell him hello,” she prompted.
Dev gave Lauralee a perplexed look, then glanced at his son who sat on his lap, staring up at him with adoration. Dev smiled at him, but his grin faded, as he realized, for the first time, how little interaction he truly had with his son. At nearly a year-and-a-half old, Jamie hadn’t been one to speak, crawl, or walk as quickly as Heather had.
But…Dev hadn’t had the time to spend with him—not like Annella had spent with Heather.
“Hello, Jamie,” Dev said, bouncing the boy on his knee. “You been settin’ the place on fire today?”
Just then, Julia re-entered the room with a coffee cup on a saucer. “I wasn’t sure if you liked it black, or with cream and sugar—”
“Black’s fine. Thanks.” Dev put Jamie on the floor and took the saucer and cup from her. He took a sip, nodding in appreciation. “’S good, Miss Jackson.”
“Aunt Julie makes a lot of good things,” Lauralee said.
“Like what?” Dev asked, not really wanting to know. The pair of them most likely wouldn’t last long enough here in Indian Territory for him to get used to any of Miss Jackson’s “good things”. If he remembered right, Miss Jackson was from near Savannah, Georgia. Her manners spoke of a genteel upbringing, and he idly wondered what circumstances had put her into this precarious situation. Not that it really mattered. She’d be out of here soon, he figured. One look at her said she was too fine a lady to be hired help.
This blizzard was, most likely, the first snowstorm she’d ever seen. Winter promised to be a bear this year, sweeping in early, and with a vengeance. Not for the faint of heart—or those unused to such weather as this.
Maybe they’ll stay through Christmas…then I’ll offer them a ticket back home, if they want to go.
“She makes the best biscuits and pancakes…they’re—uh—melting!” Lauralee bragged.
At that description, Dev chuckled. “‘Melting’, huh?”
The little girl nodded vigorously, her blonde curls bouncing.
Julia said, “Well, in all honesty, I think her praise could be because we’d talked about maybe having breakfast for supper tonight.”
Dev’s mouth watered at the very thought. A good breakfast was something he never tired of, any time of the day or night.
“That sounds great,” he said, then quickly added, “but, I’m sure you’re tired from your travels—”
“Oh, no,” Julia said brightly. “I mean—a little. But I’m looking forward to making a good home-cooked meal for us all.”
“Anything I can do?” he offered.
Miss Julia gave him a surprised look. “No, Mr. Campbell, but thank you. Why don’t you rest? And warm up. You made me shiver just thinking of you outside in this weather with no overcoat.”
Dev shrugged, unable to fight the feeling of enjoyment that her caring brought him—no matter that it was just—well, just the normal, everyday concern that one person would feel for another.
“Daisy had her calf out in this storm. Fool cow.” He shook his head. “I had to wrap the calf up in my slicker to keep her warm and get her back to the barn safe.”
“Oh! A calf?” Lauralee looked up from where she sat on the floor playing pat-a-cake with Jamie. “Could I visit her?”
“Well—sure—” Dev wasn’t certain how to respond. If Lauralee had been his, he’d have bundled her up first thing and taken her to the barn to meet the new calf—but she wasn’t his. He looked to Julia for permission.
“Laura, let’s wait until tomorrow,” Julia suggested.
But tears welled in the little girl’s eyes, and Dev stepped in, unthinking. “I won’t let any harm come to her, Miss Jackson. Might make dinner preparation go a mite faster.” He shot her a meaningful glance, and she nodded her agreement.
“Got a coat, Miss Laura?” Dev asked, washing away the words he’d just spoken that had hit him like a slap in the face. How many times had he vowed in his heart not to let harm come to Heather? But he hadn’t been able to save her. Not when it counted.
“I’ll get it!” Lauralee was off in a flash.
“I’d like to talk with you tonight, after Jamie and Lauralee are in bed,” Dev said in a low voice.
Julia looked down and nodded. “All right, Mr. Campbell. I look forward to it. I best get the meal underway—”
“I’m all ready!” Laura’s little face was aglow as she bounded back into the room.
“Oh—your shoes—” They certainly had no money to replace shoes ruined by slush, mud, or snow, Julia’s tone said.
“I’ll carry her,” Dev cut in reassuringly at the youngster’s crestfallen look. “We won’t be gone too long.”
As Dev started out the door, he realized he’s made a mistake. How could picking up a child and carrying her to the barn open up the dam that locked his heart away?
But Lauralee weighed almost exactly what his Heather had. And she held tight to his neck—did all little girls do that?
As they entered the barn, Lauralee shivered with excitement.
“Now, we can’t get too close,” Dev cautioned her. “Daisy doesn’t know you, yet. And mama cows take good care of their babies.”
“Can we pet the calf?”
“No—”
“Can we pet Daisy?”
“I don’t think—”
“What’s the calf’s name?”
“Well, I haven’t had a chance—”
“It is a girl, isn’t it?”
“Yes—”
“Ooooh…” Lauralee’s questions ended abruptly at the first glimpse she got of Daisy and her new baby. They were snuggled together in the warm straw. The calf looked around curiously. “She—is so…beautiful…” Lauralee’s voice trailed off in wonder.
“I’m going to name her,” she said, matter-of-factly. “She’s just like—like a princess!”
Dev swallowed hard. “Well…let’s call her that, if you like.”
She nodded her head, her blonde curls jiggling again under the hat she wore. “Yes. I love that name! And I love her. I wish I could pet her,” she said wistfully.
Dev smiled. “It won’t be long before you can, Miss Lauralee.”
They were silent a moment, then Lauralee sighed. “Do mama cows ever die, Debbil?”
Dev hid his smile at his new name. He supposed he deserved it, after the way he’d acted. After a moment, he answered carefully. “Not very often. But, it happens, sometimes.”
“I hope Princess’s mama doesn’t.”
“I do, too.”
“Is Daisy a good mama?” Lauralee turned to look at him intently.
Dev chuckled. “Far as I know. This is her first calf.”
Lauralee cocked her head, studying baby and mama. “They love each other. I can tell.”
Dev regarded the pair with all seriousness. “Yep. I believe you’re right.” After a moment, he asked, “Ready to go help your Aunt Julia get dinner on the table?”
“Sometimes, people call her Julie, instead, Debbil.” Lauralee yawned, laying her head on his shoulder. “I’m not sleeping, you know. Just resting my eyes…”
• ♥ •
But Lauralee was asleep, and as Dev laid his precious burden on the settee, he shared a faint smile with Julia.
“Blankets are in the linen closet, just down the hallway, there,” he said softly, making sure to rest Lauralee’s head on one of the settee cushions as Julia hurried to fetch a covering for her.
“Supper should be ready very soon,” Julia murmured softly as she returned, spreading the blanket over her niece. “Little Jamie is a sleepy boy, too. He didn’t have much of a nap today, I’m afraid.” She tucked the blanket close around Lauralee, then glanced at Dev. “We arrived about the time one of the men—Charlie, I think he said—was trying to get him to lie down. I fear in all the excitement, Jamie didn’t sleep more than a half-hour, here in my lap.”
“Happens a lot. The men aren’t good about lying down with him…as you might guess.”
Yes, Julia wanted to say. She certainly did guess that was the case, more often than not. Instead, she bit her tongue and asked, “Would you like me to feed Jamie now? I could put him on a pallet here in the Great Room. It’s so much warmer in here.”
Dev gave her a grateful look. “Yes. I usually put him in my room, but I don’t like to burn a fire up there all day while I’m gone. I’ll go get one started to warm the room up, but he can sleep down here for now ’til we finish our meal.”
Julia fed Jamie a quick meal of toasted bread and oatmeal, along with a few small bites of bacon she’d just cooked while Dev started the fires in the bedchambers upstairs.
Jamie went to sleep quickly in the warmth of the Great Room. Then, Dev and Julia sat down to eat their meal in the silence that was broken only by the crackling of the fire.
• ♥ •
“Miss Jackson—”
“Mr. Campbell—”
They both started to speak at once, then smiled.
“We sound pretty ridiculous,” Dev said. “Do you think maybe we could see our way clear to use our given names, Julia?”
Julia’s heart bolted and ran at his words. Oh, her own upbringing in the South would never allow for such familiarity, but…
“Why, of course, Devlin,” she heard herself say.
“Please,” he said with a grimace. “Call me plain ol’ Dev. Lauralee was right—Devlin does sound like ‘Debbil’—Dev’s a lot better. And…” he added hesitantly, “Lauralee tells me sometimes you’re called Julie.”
Julia shook her head, remembering her niece’s words. “I’m so sorry. She knows better. She—feels the need to defend me. It’s been just the two of us for a while, now.” Her cheeks warmed as she steered the conversation to a safer subject. “She’s right about my name—I do prefer Julie.”
Dev shrugged, a smile tugging at his lips at the memory. “She thought—well, I was rude. There wasn’t any excuse for my behavior. I was just…surprised.”
Julia raised a dark brow. “Unpleasantly so, by the sound of your greeting.”
“I’ll be honest with you, uh—Julie…” He paused to pour a measure of syrup over his pancakes, and to collect his thoughts.
She waited, watching him in silence, somehow pleased with the sound of her name on his tongue.
Finally, he said, “Lauralee—she reminds me of–of my daughter, Heather. Heather was about her age when she—passed.”
“Oh, Dev! I didn’t have any idea. What—oh, never mind. That’s rude of me to say—”
“No, I just haven’t…I don’t talk about her much to anyone.” He cut the pancakes and took a bite.
“Did she—die in an accident? With your wife?”
He laid his fork down. “Yes, Heather…drowned. But Annella’s death was no accident,” he added harshly. “She died of a broken heart, I suppose. Jamie wasn’t enough to convince her to live—nor was I!”
“But—oh, Dev, I couldn’t bear to lose a child, if I ever—” She broke off, her face reddening. “Maybe she didn’t have any kind of choice. Maybe losing her daughter broke her heart so badly she—she just gave up.”
Dev let go a brittle laugh. “Would we all had been given that choice. I was left behind. Someone had to raise Jamie.” He stared into nothingness. “Life had to go on, for us.”