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The Earl's Regret: Regency Romance (Brides and Gentlemen) by Joyce Alec (45)

2

No Better Gift Than a Book

Agnes was never a woman of excessive want. She preferred simple foods, simple conversation, and simple clothing. Her love of simplicity allowed her a deeper appreciation for all of the things that the good Lord had given her, and she found that she was most content when things were quiet and easy.

When she married Lord Bridgewater, she knew that she was marrying into excess. He was the son of a duke, after all, and the heir no less. Humble living was just not something she was going to have, but she was pleased to have John, for he was very understanding and, in many ways, of the same mind as her. John was a simple man with simple wants.

Yes, their marriage was a match made in heaven, she was told. It was one that made many women envious because they longed for her good fortune for themselves. She took no pride in that fact, but it did cause her to carry herself better now that she was married to a future duke. Her future son would also be the duke one day, and that meant a lot of weight rested on her shoulders and on the shoulders of her future son, even though he was not even born yet.

The afternoon was a lovely time at their home, and she often found herself sitting out on the terrace that overlooked the lake, full of reeds and cattails, with the occasional fish jumping to catch a fly. Since her arrival, Agnes spent a good amount of time on the terrace reading books. Currently, she was enjoying a new book that her brother-in-law, Robert, had brought as a gift, titled The Gift of Grace. She thought about the meaningful passages as she watched the men in the distance catching fish.

Agnes made sure to return indoors before the sun burned her fair face, and she made her way back up to her chambers to get ready for luncheon. She wondered if her husband would be inviting Robert to stay for another night, or if he had other matters to attend to. She got along quite well with Robert and would always be happy to welcome him into her home.

She sighed with relief as she reached her door. John had ensured that she had the finest bedroom in the manor for her personal belongings. It was full of new morning sunlight, at her request, and there was a small balcony that looked out onto the rose gardens. It was her sanctuary, and she was most pleased to spend time there.

She found Alice waiting in her chamber, also busy reading a book. When Alice heard the door open, she quickly tossed the book aside and got to her feet. If Agnes had not known her as well as she did, she would just assume that she had knocked it over as she was cleaning out of fright.

Agnes smiled. “What were you reading?”

Alice relaxed when she saw it was Agnes. “Oh, hello, my lady.”

Agnes rolled her eyes. “We are alone, dear friend.”

“Of course,” Alice said, stooping to pick up the book once more. She dusted off the cover and laid it down gently on the nightstand beside the chair where she had been sitting.

“I was waiting for you to return,” Alice said. “I know how you enjoy your privacy when you are reading.”

Agnes nodded, but her face was kind. “I do appreciate it. However, you didn’t have to remain in my chambers until I returned.”

“I know, but I didn’t want you to be looking for me if you needed me.”

Agnes studied her young maid’s face.

“Are you hiding from the other servants again?”

Alice’s eyes dropped to her feet. “Not exactly, no…”

She pressed her no further.

Agnes sat down on the chair in front of her vanity, all her brushes, powders, and perfumes scattered across the surface. She sighed contentedly, and she let her hair down from the chignon at her neck. She slowly raked her fingers through her long, dark tresses, allowing the curls to unwind.

She reached to pick up her brush, but found it was missing.

And then she felt it in her hair, at the back of her head.

“Oh, Alice,” Agnes laughed. “You don’t have to do that right now,” she said. “I am perfectly capable of brushing my own hair.”

Alice smiled at her in the mirror, her hair as red as a copper kettle. “I know. But you know how I love to do your hair.”

Agnes sighed, and settled back against the chair. “Something that I still do not understand, not even as long as I have known you.”

Alice shrugged as she started to pull the comb slowly through Agnes’s hair. “There is something relaxing in its nature. It brings you comfort and peace, and that in turn gives me peace.”

Agnes allowed her eyes to close as she enjoyed the sensation of the bristles passing over her scalp. “I do suppose I can understand that. I just do not want for you to feel as if you have to do everything for me now that we are here.”

Alice remained silent, still slowly brushing her hair.

“Are you quite happy here, my friend?” Agnes asked, meeting Alice’s eyes in the mirror again. She smiled gently, hoping she could see how much she wanted it to be true.

“Of course I am,” she replied and looked pleased.

“All right,” Agnes replied. “That’s good. I know we haven’t had much of a chance to speak, just the two of us, since we arrived.”

“That is quite understandable,” Alice replied. “You have been recently married, of course you would wish to spend time with your new husband.”

Agnes grinned, in spite of herself, and she looked down at her hands in her lap. “Oh, Alice, I do hope that we can find you a suitable husband someday soon. You are still so young and so beautiful!”

Alice’s eyes widened, and she laughed. “But I just moved here so I could be with you! Do you wish to be rid of me so soon?”

Agnes shook her head and regretted it almost at once; some of her hair remained in the brush, pulling against her scalp. “No, certainly not! I just hope that you can have the same joys that I have someday.”

Alice studied Agnes’s face. “I am pleased that you have such joy, my friend.” She continued to brush her hair. “Have you found the grounds and the house to your liking?”

Agnes sighed happily. “I have, Alice, I have indeed. The stables are perfect, and John has already told me that I am able to keep another horse if I wish. The terrace is more beautiful than I could have hoped for, and until we have children, I do not even know what I am to do with all of the space in the rest of the house! There is just entirely too much!”

Alice smiled, and the women laughed together.

“One thing that I do wish for, however, is a chance for life to settle down again. Everything has been so busy, and I don’t feel as if I have had the chance to really experience living in this home yet,” said Agnes.

“That will come in time, I’m sure.”

“And you aren’t lonely?” Agnes asked, looking up at Alice’s face.

Alice shook her head. “Not at all. Most of the staff have been…” she hesitated. “Pleasant enough, but you know that I would rather spend time with my books or with you.” She pursed her lips, but Agnes was sure that she was doing it unconsciously.

Agnes nodded her head slowly. “I understand,” she replied.

“And besides, I think they might be jealous of the responsibilities that I have. I am a lady’s maid, after all, and I am the one to tend to anything that you need.” She switched to the other side of Agnes’s head. “I think that some of them wanted the job and found me to be too young to take on such an important position.”

“Well that is just too bad,” Agnes replied. “You have been with me for as long as I can remember, and I would have it no other way.”

Alice smiled down at her in the mirror. “I was glad when you asked me to come with you. I had hoped you would.”

“How could I not?” Agnes replied.

Alice continued to brush Agnes’s hair until Agnes remembered what she had seen when she came into the room.

“What book were you reading when I came in?” Agnes asked, throwing a glance over her shoulder to the red, leather bound book on her nightstand.

“Oh, that? It’s a book called The Red Night. It’s quite good,” Alice said, her face lighting up. “A young prince discovered a dragon beneath the keep of his castle, just as every prince does the year he comes of age. The dragon is a wise creature and is to help the young prince to train up so he can be a great king. I am only part way through it, and already I cannot put it down.”

“I have yet to hear you speak of a book that you can put down,” Agnes teased. “However, it sounds very intriguing,” Agnes said thoughtfully. “I have not heard of it.”

“His Lordship allowed me to borrow it, as long as I return it to its rightful place,” Alice said. The women shared a knowing smile. John certainly had his quirks, but the way his library was organized was perhaps his greatest one.

“Why were you reading that particular one? Did he recommend it?”

Her cheeks colored, and Agnes was surprised.

“I…I saw Lord Robert Stone reading it yesterday. It made me curious.”

Agnes raised her eyebrows. “That is awfully perceptive of you,” she said, turning around in her chair to look up at Alice properly. “Though I suppose that is not uncommon for you, is it?”

Alice suddenly could not meet Agnes’s eye. She looked all around the room, but not at her. She placed the brush back down onto the vanity table, and she moved to straighten the quilt on Agnes’s bed.

Agnes watched her, quite perplexed.

“He had quite a lot of interesting things to say last night,” Alice began, her voice slightly unsteady. “I particularly enjoyed his stories of London and Bath in the winter.”

“They have been all over the countryside. His family travels quite often,” Agnes replied, still watching Alice move about the room restlessly. “I, too, find his stories most interesting. He would talk late into the night when I was visiting his family before Lord Bridgewater and I were married, and the entire family would gather around. He has quite the gift for words.”

“And he’s a smart man? Lord Robert Stone?”

Agnes could see where her questions were heading. “Oh, certainly. He’s also kind and was most helpful when Lord Bridgewater and I were betrothed. We went through this nonsense period believing that the other did not wish to marry…but that isn’t important,” Agnes replied, smiling.

“Does he…read often?” Alice asked, attempting to keep her tone steady.

Agnes hesitated. “I believe he does. He and his brother are both quite learned men and would often take any chance to engage in some sort of intellectual debate about almost anything.”

Alice nodded her head thoughtfully. “That’s quite good, for brothers to be as close as they are.”

“They have their moments,” Agnes replied. “But I do think they mean well most of the time.” She still watched Alice with an intense gaze, who was still attempting to do anything but meet it.

“He brought us a lovely book, as a wedding gift, in fact,” Agnes continued.

“That’s very thoughtful,” Alice replied. “I believe there is no better gift than a book.”

“I daresay you would believe that,” Agnes replied.

Alice’s cheeks were brighter than Agnes could ever recall seeing them. She furrowed her brow.

“If I knew you at all, dear friend, I would say that all of this talk of my husband’s brother has caused you some sort of…stress.”

Still Alice said nothing. She straightened the same corner of the quilt before attempting to do so again.

“Alice?” Agnes asked, smiling at the young woman.

Alice stood up straight, finally releasing the quilt. She looked back at her friend.

“I just admire him, that’s all.”

“Admire him?” Agnes asked, getting to her feet and sitting down on a settee by the window. She motioned for Alice to sit next her. Agnes could laugh with the surprise of it all. So the color in her cheeks did mean something!

“Yes,” Alice replied. Her wide, doe eyes had returned to their normal comfortable control, and her poise and grace were as evident as ever. It was almost as if she had never reacted strangely at all.

But Agnes knew better. Alice was very good as masking her true thoughts and feelings. In fact, she was so good at hiding her emotions, that she could fool almost anyone.

Anyone except Agnes, that is.

“How so?” Agnes prodded. “Why do you admire him?”

“He’s a man of great faith,” she replied, avoiding eye contact with Agnes. “And he is kind. Much more kind than most men of his stature.”

“Robert is kind,” Agnes said, dropping all formalities.

“He is indeed,” Alice returned. “It must be a family trait.” Then she laughed, a small, almost pitiful laugh, as she nervously smoothed out the non-existent wrinkles in her dress.

“What is it?” Agnes asked, almost hesitantly.

Alice looked at Agnes. “It’s just…I have not met a man quite like him. The way he talks of literature and of his life. I have yet to meet a man who finds books half as engaging as I do,” she said.

Alice picked at the stitching of her dress absently, and looked at Agnes. “It’s rather silly, I suppose. He’s quite the ideal man for any woman with any sense…”

Agnes felt a flicker of fear stir inside of her.

“No matter though,” Alice said, even more quietly. “I could never marry someone like that.” And then she smiled, but it was hollow and didn’t touch her eyes.

Agnes sighed and smiled sadly in reply. She placed her hands on Alice’s shoulders, forcing Alice to look at her.

“I understand what you mean, my friend,” and they stared at each other for a moment. “Truly, I do. I can see what you are attracted to in him.”

At the word attracted, Agnes felt Alice squirm under her hands. Perhaps it had been a bit too strong of a word, or perhaps it was simply a bit too honest.

“But,” she continued, and the word hung in the air like an uncomfortable weight on them both, “That…that is just something that could not be, Alice.”

Agnes’s voice was quiet, and she hoped gentle.

Alice still smiled, a sort of lopsided smile, as if something was bitterly sweet, then she shook her head, and the smile became genuine.

“Of course, dear friend. It was foolish for me to ever entertain such thoughts. What could a man like that ever see in me? And more than that, why would any man who was the son of a duke fall in love with a simple maid?”

Agnes clutched her friend’s arms even more tightly. “Alice, you are a wonderful woman. I think there are few men in the world who would be worthy of you, regardless of your position. I do not think that even a prince would be worthy!”

Alice laughed, and Agnes eventually joined her. The two women embraced, the tension leaving the room like an afternoon breeze.

“Oh, heavens. So you are all right then?” Agnes asked, standing up.

Alice nodded her head, and Agnes could see any sort of reservation there previously had gone. “Yes, I am. You are right, of course. Except about the prince part. That is just ridiculous.”

“I stand by what I said,” Agnes said. “Now, if you would be so kind, could you help me dress for luncheon? I wish to wear that lovely blue dress with the lace I bought in Brighton, but I shall never be able to get into it on my own.”

The two women continued to talk, but Agnes’s thoughts were still on her conversation with Alice about her brother-in-law. The idea frightened her, because Alice would get hurt by pursuing her attraction to Robert. Not only could something like that the match never happen, but it could seriously damage her reputation.

No, it was better that Alice was spurned for her affections than to allow her to dwell on them and cause far more trouble for her down the road. It was better that Alice was a bit embarrassed now and that only Agnes knew. If Robert were to ever discover her feelings, Alice’s embarrassment would change to shame.

Agnes made sure to give her friend an extra hug before meeting John and Robert for lunch, hoping that Alice knew that she cared deeply for her and only sought to protect her and her heart from the realities of the world around them.