Chapter Eighteen

 

“Darling, you’re going to wear a hole in the carpet if you don’t stop pacing back and forth. And considering that’s an antique Aubusson it would be almost impossible to replace it. So please, Tessa. For your sake and for the carpet’s future well being, why don’t you sit down for a few minutes, hmm?”

Tessa stopped in her tracks, giving her husband a rueful smile. “Sorry. I guess I’m just a little apprehensive about meeting Aubrey face to face. And a little afraid of what I might learn in the process.”

Ian took his wife in his arms, rubbing her back comfortingly. “That’s understandable, love. As much as you’ve always wanted to learn more about your past, and any family you might have, up until now it’s been difficult to find any solid information. But from the little you’ve learned so far about Aubrey, she might very well be the key to unlocking some of those facts. But you don’t have to be worried or afraid, Tessa. You should know by now that I’d never let anything hurt or upset you. Which is why I’m still furious at that bastard Jordan for his part in all of this.”

“Shh.” Tessa pressed a kiss to his cheek. “You’re a fine one for telling me to calm down, when you’re just as agitated.”

“Yes, but for a very different reason,” retorted Ian. “You’re feeling anxious over this meeting with Aubrey because you may or may not learn anything about your past. Or find out if the two of you are related in some way. I, on the other hand, merely want to slug the idiot responsible for this whole fiasco. Or throttle him until I can shake some sense into that brain of us. I wonder at times how in the world he managed to get through medical school, given that he’s got no common sense at all.”

“Jordan feels very badly about how this unfolded,” assured Tessa. “I think he was afraid of how Aubrey would react, given that their relationship was still developing. For a man who flirts as much as Jordan always has, he actually seems very insecure in certain ways. And he admitted to me during our lunch that he’d never really had a serious relationship with a woman, which is why he managed to screw things up so badly.”

“I’m not in the least surprised,” drawled Ian sardonically. “And don’t start feeling sorry for him, Tessa. He’s brought all of this on himself, as you’re well aware. And needless to say, don’t try defending him to Aubrey, or trying to assume the role of peacemaker between them. If it was meant to be for Jordan and Aubrey, they’ll have to work their way back to each other without anyone’s help.”

“I know.” She made a slight adjustment to his perfectly knotted silk tie, then smoothed down the lapels of his charcoal gray suit. She liked to fuss over her handsome husband in little ways like this, and knew how much her attentions pleased him. “And I promise not to butt in. I suppose I feel a little sorry for Jordan is all.”

Ian rolled his hazel eyes heavenward. “Of course you do,” he replied drolly. “Because my wife is the most kind hearted, sentimental woman in the world. You want everyone to be as happy as the two of us are. Unfortunately, fate doesn’t always cooperate, darling.” He pulled back the cuff of his pristine white dress shirt to check his watch. “I’d better go. They’re expecting me for lunch in less than ten minutes. And your guest will be here in five. So give me a kiss good-bye, and I’ll see you in a few hours, hmm?”

Tessa never needed extra encouragement to kiss her husband, and this time was no exception. She clasped her arms around his neck, meeting his lips eagerly. As the kiss deepened and took fire, she wondered faintly if it would always be like this between them - the passion, the seemingly unquenchable hunger, neither of which had faded even the slightest bit in the five years they had been together, more than four of those as a married couple.

“Witch,” Ian murmured huskily against her ear. “Kissing me like that when you know there’s no time to do anything about it. Especially since we have an audience close at hand.”

He indicated his head slightly to where their two-year-old daughter Gilly was contentedly playing tea party with several of her dolls and stuffed toys. As though aware of her father’s gaze, she glanced up at that moment and beamed at him happily. Moments later she was squealing in delight as Ian scooped her up into his arms, and twirled her around in a circle.

“Daddy has to go out for a little while, sweetheart,” he said regretfully. “You stay here with Mummy and have some lunch, all right? Mummy’s, er, friend will be here in just a few minutes, too, and she’s going to have lunch with you. Now, do you have a kiss for your Daddy?”

Gilly wound her tiny arms around his neck and puckered up her little rosebud mouth, giggling as Ian made a loud smacking sound as their lips met. Tenderly, he set her back down amidst her toys, grinning as he noted that the plush white teddy bear was nearly as large as Gilly.

“Good thing we flew down here on the company plane,” he joked to Tessa. “I’m not sure how we would have fit this fine fellow in our luggage.” He gave the bear a pat on the head, then blew her a kiss. “Enjoy your visit with Aubrey, darling. I doubt that my lunch date will be quite as enjoyable, but duty calls after all.”

“Ian?” At the sound of her voice, Ian paused at the door of their suite, raising a brow to her inquiringly.

Tessa gave him a warm smile. “I just wanted to thank you for coming with me on this trip, especially since it was all so last minute. And since I know you must have had to rearrange your schedule, and you’re so busy. I appreciate it so much, appreciate you so much.”

Ian returned her smile, his hazel eyes aglow with tenderness. “It’s the least I can do, Tessa, and I’m more than happy to be here with you. Besides, I was due to visit the hotel here in San Diego soon anyway, just moved the date up by a few months and rearranged some other meetings. And there’s no possible way I would have wanted you to do this by yourself. Depending on what you and Aubrey discover - well, you might need some emotional support. But let’s not jump to conclusions just yet, all right? Now, I’d better go. See you soon, love.”

Tessa was half-tempted to call him back, to beg him to cancel his lunch and stay with her during Aubrey’s visit. But given that Aubrey already sounded uncertain about this meeting, having Ian in the room would only make her more uncomfortable. No, it had to be this way, realized Tessa as she fussed with the table settings, even though they were already perfect. Just her and Aubrey, without Ian or Jordan or Aubrey’s adoptive parents in the room. They could get to know each other a little better, find out more about the other’s life, and most importantly figure out the next steps to determine what sort of familial connection - if any - existed between them.

She started anxiously when the knock on the front door sounded, and forced herself to take a deep breath as she went to answer it. As expected, Trevor, the butler assigned to the suite, stood on the other side of the door, Aubrey directly behind him.

“Your guest has arrived, Mrs. Gregson,” announced Trevor in his very precise, very prim British accent. He swept his arm towards the open doorway, standing aside to let Aubrey enter. “Enjoy your lunch, Miss Larson. Mrs. Gregson, if there’s anything else you need, please be sure to let me know at once.”

Tessa smiled gratefully, wondering if she would ever get completely used to the idea of having a personal butler at her disposal every time they stayed at one of the company hotels. “Thank you very much, Trevor. I think we have everything we need, but I’ll text you if that changes.”

Trevor gave her a brief nod before closing the door behind him. Aubrey, meanwhile, was gazing around her in wide-eyed wonder, clearly as dazzled by the luxurious surroundings as Tessa had been during her first few visits to the Gregson properties.

“Wow,” breathed Aubrey as she noticed the panoramic view of downtown San Diego from the floor to ceiling windows for the first time. “And here I thought the hotel in Maui was the fanciest place I’d ever been in. This is - spectacular, for lack of a better word.”

Tessa nodded. “All of our hotels in Hawaii are definitely elegant, but have more of a tropical resort décor. Whereas our big city properties tend to be more sophisticated. You should see some of the European hotels. The one in Paris reminds me of a palace.”

Aubrey ran a hand carefully over a high-backed leather armchair. “I think this room is bigger than the entire house I shared with two roommates in Maui. Is this like the Presidential Suite or something?”

Tessa laughed softly. “It’s actually called the Owners Suite. They’re the largest and most lavish of all the rooms and suites in each hotel. There’s one such suite in each of our properties around the world, and typically they’re solely for the use of the extended family. Exceptions are made from time to time for celebrities or heads of state. I believe the Prime Minister of Canada and his family stayed in this particular suite a few months ago, in fact.”

Aubrey regarded her curiously. “You keep saying “our”. Do you work for the company, Tessa?”

“Not any longer. Though I do still help Ian out with some projects from time to time as my schedule allows. As for referring to the hotels as “ours”, ever since we got married Ian has insisted that I consider myself one of the family, that I consider myself one of the owners of the company. It admittedly took me awhile to think along those lines, but now I suppose I just take it somewhat for granted. Now, I’m not being a very good hostess, am I? Can I offer you a drink, Aubrey? There’s a fully stocked bar, as well as a variety of soft drinks and juices and waters. And hot tea and coffee, of course.”

“It’s a little early for alcohol, plus I’m driving, so just a sparkling water for me, thanks,” said Aubrey. She paused in her perusal of the room as her gaze fell upon Gilly, her face lighting up with pleasure at the sight of the little girl. “Oh, this must be your daughter. Isn’t she the most precious little darling?”

Tessa took her daughter by the hand, then brought her over to Aubrey. “Gilly, say hello to Mummy’s friend. This is Aubrey. Aubrey, my daughter Gillian. Gilly for short. She - she was named after her grandmother. Her maternal grandmother.”

Aubrey sunk down onto her haunches to greet the child, an awestruck expression on her face. “My God, she - she looks just like I did when I was about her age. There’s one picture in particular hanging on the wall of my parents house where I look almost exactly like your daughter, Tessa. Even the dress and shoes are almost the same.”

Gilly was wearing an adorable little summer dress, white cotton printed with blue and yellow daisies. Her frothy, pale blonde curls were bunched on top of her head and fastened with a yellow daisy clip, and on her dainty feet she wore a pair of white sandals.

Gilly was staring at Aubrey in some confusion, glancing up at her mother with a little frown, then looked back at Aubrey. “Mummy, why does lady look like you?” she asked a bit apprehensively. “Is she your sister?” She smiled shyly at Aubrey, pointing at herself. “I’m a sister. I have a brother. Liam. He’s sleeping ‘cause he’s just a baby.”

Aubrey was clearly enchanted with Gilly, whose vocabulary seemed to be increasing on a daily basis. “You’re a lucky little girl, Gilly. I have two brothers, but they’re both older than I am. How old is Liam?”

Gilly looked uncertainly at Tessa, who replied that Liam was four months old, while his big sister, who shared a birthday with her father, had turned two in April.

“Hopefully the baby will sleep right through lunch, considering I just finished nursing him half an hour ago,” Tessa told Aubrey, crossing her fingers. “But Liam’s a good sleeper, and a good eater so we’ve probably got at least an hour before he wakes up.”

Aubrey took notice of the three place settings on the dining room table. “Your husband won’t be joining us for lunch?”

Tessa shook her head. “No. Ian’s having lunch with the hotel manager and some of his department heads. When he offered to come along on this trip with me, he decided he might as well tend to some business while we were in town. So it’s just the three of us. Please, have a seat and we’ll eat. Just let me get Gilly settled and then I’ll get our drinks.”

Aubrey pulled out a chair at the elegant dining table as Tessa lifted Gilly onto her booster seat and placed a cloth napkin on her lap. As Tessa fetched drinks from the kitchen, Aubrey continued to gaze around the room in wonder.

“I feel like a bum dressed this way in these surroundings,” she confessed as Tessa set a bottle of Pellegrino water by her place. “Especially considering how nice you look. Guess I should have dressed up a little.”

Tessa glanced at Aubrey’s floaty yellow and orange print sundress and bright yellow flip flops. “You look fine,” she assured. “It is summer, after all. As for myself, old habits are hard to break, so I always find myself dressing up when we’re visiting one of our hotels.”

At Aubrey’s quizzical look, Tessa explained, “I traveled with Ian on all of his business trips for a couple of years, before I had Gilly. And he’s something of a stickler for presenting a professional image. He insists on very strict dress codes at his office, and as the Managing Director he holds himself to even higher standards. And while I don’t travel with him on business very often these days, I suppose it’s still important to me that I maintain that same professional image.”

Aubrey gazed at Tessa’s chic coral sheath dress and nude high-heeled sandals a bit wistfully. “This reminds me of a book I had when I was a little girl - the one about the country mouse and the city mouse. You and I could pose for a grown-up version of it right about now.”

“Don’t be silly,” replied Tessa as she took her seat. “Besides, I never dressed like this until I met Ian. Couldn’t afford to. Most of my clothes came from places like Forever 21 and Marshalls, and it wasn’t a very extensive wardrobe. Still, it was better then when I was growing up. I’m pretty sure everything I owned was a hand me down, at least until I was old enough to get a part time job and earn a little money.” She waved a hand dismissively. “But that was a long time ago, and best forgotten. Let’s enjoy our lunch, shall we?”

Lunch consisted of a delicious chopped salad, a platter of assorted gourmet sandwiches, and a bowl of fresh fruit. As though by unspoken agreement, they only made small talk during the meal, postponing the discussion about the elephant in the room for as long as possible.

Aubrey grinned at Gilly as the little girl munched daintily on the strawberries and melon Tessa had cut up into small pieces for her. “She’s a real little lady, isn’t she? God, when I was her age I probably would have been crawling over the furniture or shoving food into my mouth with my hands. And I definitely wouldn’t have kept my pretty dress clean this long.”

Tessa smiled at her daughter tenderly, wiping a drop of juice from the corner of her mouth with a napkin. “She is a Gregson, after all. And Ian’s family is looked upon almost as royalty in England. But they’ve been wonderful to me, very welcoming and loving, and I’ve always felt like one of them. When Ian brought me to spend Christmas with his family the first year we were together, it was the best holiday I’d ever known, the first time I’d ever known what it was like to have a family of my own. And now that we have Gilly and Liam - well, it’s my fondest dream come true.”

Aubrey’s smile faded rapidly. “I’m sorry it was like that for you growing up,” she murmured. “I mean, you’ve hardly told me anything about your - your mother, but even from the little I know I can’t imagine how hard it must have been. I’ve always counted my blessings that I got adopted by such wonderful parents, but I’m not sure I ever realized just how lucky I was.”

Tessa gave a brief nod, not wanting to think about how different her life might have been if her mother had done the right thing and given her up for adoption, too. “As I said, all the bad things that happened to me are in the past, and I have the most wonderful life anyone could ever dream of now.” She stood, desperately needing a distraction at this moment. “Would you like some coffee or tea now? I know Gilly’s been waiting very patiently for Mummy to bring out the cookies. Haven’t you, baby?”

Gilly’s blue eyes sparkled at the mention of cookies, and she nodded enthusiastically. “Cookie! Please, Mummy?”

Tessa dropped a kiss on the top of her daughter’s curly head. “Give Mummy just a minute, baby. Aubrey? What can I get for you?”

“Tea, please. Never been much of a coffee drinker, unless it’s one of those frothy things with tons of caramel syrup and whipped cream. Jordan used to tease me that - ”

Tessa gave her a sympathetic glance as she transferred the tea service from the sideboard to the table. “It’s okay to say his name, you know. You might be furious at him right now, but that doesn’t mean you’ve stopped caring for Jordan. And I know how much he regrets the way he handled this whole situation. But - no. Here I go again, sounding like I’m sticking up for him. And I won’t take sides, Aubrey. The two of you need to work things out on your own. I suppose I’m so happy in my own marriage that I can’t help wanting the same sort of happily ever after for everyone.”

Aubrey sighed as she accepted the cup and saucer from Tessa before selecting a tea bag from the assortment on the tray. “You’re a romantic, I can tell. But it’s sweet of you to want a happy ending for me and Jordan. I guess I want that, too, but only after I make him sweat it out for awhile. And grovel, of course. I’m going to insist on lots of groveling. If I decide I can forgive him, that is.”

Tessa laughed as she placed a plate with two dainty butter cookies and a plastic sippy cup of milk in front of Gilly. “I’ve got a feeling Jordan will do as much groveling as necessary to get you back. Here’s your cookies as promised, Gilly.”

Gilly beamed. “Thank you, Mummy.”

Aubrey gave a little shake of her head, as if in disbelief. “I can’t get over how well behaved she is, Tessa. You and your husband have done an incredible job raising her. And it’s so cute how she calls you Mummy instead of Mommy. Very British.”

“Yes. Even though we’re raising our family here in the States, it’s important that they’re exposed to their English heritage, too. And since Ian always refers to me as Mummy, it was only natural that Gilly picked up on that.”

The two women continued making small talk as they sipped their tea and nibbled on cookies, still avoiding the main reason for their meeting this afternoon. It was only after Tessa set a wiggling Gilly on her feet, the little girl making a beeline back to her dolls and teddy bears, that Aubrey broached the subject.

“I told you on the phone last night that my parents were very supportive of my coming here to see you today,” began Aubrey. “That they thought it was important for me to find out if there was any sort of connection between us. What I didn’t tell you,” she continued, a bit more hesitantly, “was that my parents told me my birth mother - well, that she already had another child when she was pregnant with me. They have no idea if that child was a boy or a girl, or how old the child was. But evidently my birth mother refused to even consider giving her other child up for adoption, and that she kept changing her mind about whether to give me up or not.”

Tessa’s tea cup clattered to the saucer, forcing her to hold onto it with both hands to steady it. “Oh, God,” she whispered unsteadily. “That last part - about your mother changing her mind constantly - that’s definitely something my own mother would have done, given how unstable and emotional she was.”

Aubrey gave a small nod of acknowledgment. “That was my father’s opinion, too. When he learned about your mom’s illness, the bipolar disorder, he surmised that she might have been persuaded to give me up because she wasn’t in any condition to care for an infant. And, there’s more, Tessa.”

Impulsively, Aubrey reached across the table to squeeze Tessa’s hand. “My mother was able to get in touch with the social worker who helped to coordinate my adoption. The woman - Ines - is the sister of one of my mom’s old friends from Albuquerque. And not only is Ines willing to meet with you and me, but as it turns out she relocated to California about a decade ago. She lives near Palm Springs now, and all I have to do is call her to set up a time to talk.”

Tessa pressed a hand to her heart in a futile attempt to calm its frantic beat. “How - how far away is Palm Springs from here?”

Aubrey grinned. “Two hours give or take, depending on traffic. So - feel like taking a little road trip tomorrow? I’ll drive.”

 

***

 

“I feel like I’m going to throw up. And I know for a fact I’m not pregnant again, mostly because I never really got nauseated during either of my pregnancies. And it’s also not the fact that it’s already over a hundred degrees outside since you’ve had the air conditioner on full blast for the last hour.”

Aubrey patted Tessa reassuringly on the shoulder. “Relax, would you? God, you’re strung tighter than a bow right now. Is it really that upsetting to think that you and I might end up being half-sisters?”

Tessa shook her head. “Of course not. I already feel some sort connection with you, Aubrey. I did the first time I saw you in that ballroom. I’m just not sure I’m ready to learn certain things about my mother. Things that are only going to upset me.”

“We can still turn around and go back to San Diego,” offered Aubrey. “Or since we’ve come this far we can just hit the outlet malls instead. After we stop for brunch, of course. I haven’t been out this way since college, but I know a great place for huevos rancheros and Bloody Marys.”

Tessa shuddered. “Now I really do feel nauseous. And I wouldn’t dream of not seeing this through. One way or another, Aubrey, both of us need to find out the truth. So, come on. Let’s keep our appointment, shall we?”

They got out of the Land Rover that Aubrey had borrowed from her father, given that she didn’t have a vehicle of her own right now, and walked side by side up to the front door of the condo where Ines Santiago resided. Tessa took a deep breath, exchanged a look with Aubrey and nodded, then resolutely rang the doorbell.

The petite woman with gray streaks in her dark hair who opened the door didn’t bother to hide the shock she must have felt as she noticed the unmistakable resemblance between the two women standing on her doorstep. She placed a hand over her heart as she gave a slight shake of her head.

“My goodness. I don’t know which of you is Aubrey, but when you told me on the phone that both of you looked exactly alike I didn’t realize it would be this close. Or that both of you would look so much like - well, like Gillian. Come, come in, please. It’s that time of year, unfortunately, where it’s already in triple digits by mid-morning. But it’s nice and cool in the house, and I’ve got a pitcher of iced tea all ready.”

Tessa and Aubrey walked inside the small but airy condo, the air conditioning a pleasant respite from the broiling desert sun outside. Ines motioned them into the living area, which had been decorated in tones of burnt sienna, turquoise, and cream, where they took a seat on the comfy sofa while their hostess poured tall glasses of ice cold tea.

Aubrey took a long, grateful sip. “Mmm, this really hits the spot after that drive. Thank you so much, Ines. For the tea and also for agreeing to see us so quickly. And so that we don’t keep you guessing, I’m Aubrey, and this is Tessa.”

“I hope we haven’t inconvenienced you too much,” offered Tessa. “Or that you had to change your plans in order to meet with us.”

Ines gave a firm shake of her head. “Not at all. As I told Aubrey over the phone, I only work part-time now. I’m technically retired, but my husband spends so much time on the golf course that I was getting bored sitting home every morning. So two or three mornings a week I volunteer at a local shelter for abused and homeless women and children. Hard to break the habit after so many years, I suppose. And the need is greater than ever these days.”

Ines took a seat in a high backed wicker chair as she glanced at the two women seated on the sofa. “It really is remarkable, you know. The resemblance, I mean. I’ve seen identical twins who didn’t resemble each other as much as you two. Though there are some subtle differences, of course. Tessa, I’d guess you’re a few years older, while Aubrey definitely gets out in the sun more often. Aubrey’s a couple of inches taller, and a bit leaner, and of course your styles of dress are very different. Otherwise, it would be almost impossible to tell you apart.”

Aubrey nodded. “Imagine our shock when we met face to face for the first time, not having known about the other’s existence until then. And then I got an even bigger shock when my parents told me that my birth mother already had another child while she was pregnant with me. When I shared that news with Tessa yesterday, well - we were pretty sure that could only mean one thing.”

“But we need to confirm our suspicions,” ventured Tessa. “Need to hear the whole story from you, Ines. We’re hoping that you’ll be able to tell us what we need to know.”

Ines set her glass down, then leaned forward, resting her forearms on her knees. “You want to know if the woman who gave birth to Aubrey - and subsequently gave her up for adoption - was your mother, Tessa. Which, of course, would make the two of you half-sisters.”

Tessa took a deep breath, then nodded. “Yes, that about sums it up. And we know that legally Aubrey would need to petition the courts to get the adoption records unsealed, but given that she’s well past legal age and that my mother died almost fifteen years ago, we were hoping to get past those sort of formalities.”

Ines smiled wryly. “It does seem a bit unnecessary at this point, doesn’t it? Especially since all of the clues are beginning to add up all by themselves. And since I’m not officially employed by the Albuquerque social services department any longer, I don’t see any harm at all in telling you girls what you need to know.” She looked first at Aubrey, then back at Tessa. “And I can tell you beyond the shadow of a doubt that you had the same mother. I remember her very well - Gillian Pedersen. One of my most difficult and heartbreaking cases. Difficult because she must have changed her mind a dozen times about giving you up for adoption, Aubrey. And heartbreaking because she refused to even consider doing the same with you, Tessa.”

Automatically, Aubrey reached for Tessa’s hand, squeezing it in a silent plea for comfort. Wordlessly, Tessa scooted a little closer on the sofa and wrapped an arm around Aubrey’s shoulders, much like an older sister would offer support to her younger sibling. Somehow, simply by finally hearing the truth spoken out loud, the odd connection that Aubrey had experienced the first time she’d seen Tessa was instantly magnified. As Tessa glanced over at her uncertainly, Aubrey knew that she must be feeling the exact same thing.

It was Tessa who spoke first, her voice a little husky and definitely unsteady. “Please. Will you tell us everything that you can? From the beginning, I mean. How did you come to be involved with my - our mother’s case?”

Ines nodded. “I’ll try to be as concise as possible. As I mentioned, I worked for the city of Albuquerque in their social services department. My specialty, if you’d call it that, was helping women and children. Most times the women were fleeing abusive situations, domestic violence, that sort of thing. Other times they were simply down on their luck and had found themselves living on the streets. We always tried to give priority for shelter beds and housing to the women with young children, especially if they were pregnant - like your mother was when I first met her.”

Aubrey stole a quick glance at Tessa to see how she was holding up thus far, and once she was satisfied that her half-sister was listening to Ines with a stoical expression on her face, she relaxed just a bit.

“Gillian had taken shelter in a Catholic church not far from where my office was located,” continued Ines. “I’d known the parish priest there for many years, ever since I was a teenager. When he came upon Gillian, and discovered that not only did she have a little girl with her but was also expecting another baby, he called me right away.” She paused, smiling sadly in remembrance. “You were the prettiest little thing I’d ever seen,” she told Tessa. “With those long blonde curls and big blue eyes. Even wearing clothes that were a size too small and falling apart at the seams, you were adorable. And your mother clung to you like her life depended on it, Tessa. She refused to come with me until I swore on a statue of the Virgin Mother inside the church that she wouldn’t be separated from you.”

Tears sparkled in Tessa’s eyes. “She must have been in one of her downward spirals at the time, I’m guessing. If she’d been manic, she would have charmed her way into some stranger’s home, convincing her newfound friend to take us in for a few months.”

“She was in a bad way when I found the two of you,” confirmed Ines. “And probably had been for some time. I badgered and bullied and called in favors and got the two of you a bed at a women’s shelter nearby. The doctor on call was able to examine Gillian and determined she was already six months along, and at least ten pounds under ideal weight for that stage of pregnancy. She was also diagnosed as being bipolar, and confirmed that she’d been off her meds for months. Which was a good thing, considering that many anti-psychotic drugs are very harmful to developing fetuses, and could have caused severe birth defects or even miscarriage. Between the doctor, the shelter manager, and myself, we managed to convince Gillian to stay put until after her baby was born. With regular meals, pre-natal vitamins, and medical care she put on some weight and looked healthier, but it was obvious that she would be in no condition mentally or emotionally to take care of an infant when the time came. And that’s where the really difficult part of my job kicked in.”

Ines took a minute to refill their glasses of iced tea, then sat back down to continue her story. “After talking to Gillian for weeks, I’d convinced her that giving her baby up for adoption was the best thing for everyone - for the baby, for Gillian, and for Tessa. As hard as it was for her to admit, Gillian eventually agreed that she didn’t have a job or money or any sort of support system to help her raise an infant. But she wanted my assurances that her baby would be adopted by a good family, someone who’d love the baby like their very own and be able to give the child all the things she would never be able to do.” She smiled at Aubrey. “I’d met your parents a few times through my sister, had seen them with your brothers. They were wonderful people, so kind and caring and generous, and those two little boys looked so happy and healthy and loved that I just knew it was the perfect situation for you, Aubrey. I wanted Gillian to meet your parents face to face, so that she’d be reassured it was the best possible solution. But she refused, something about how it would be that much harder for her to give you up if she could put a face to your adoptive parents. She wanted to keep everything impersonal, couldn’t bear to deal with any of the details, so the adoption attorney your parents hired took care of everything. But then, Gillian being Gillian, nothing was ever quite that easy or simple.”

Tessa gave a little eye roll. “That’s the understatement of the year. There was never anything simple or easy about my mother. She created chaos wherever she went, and didn’t especially care about how it impacted other people - especially me. But I don’t want to get you off track, Ines. Please, go on.”

Ines smiled fondly at Tessa. “I will digress for just a moment, though. While Gillian hated being confined - as she put it - at the shelter, hated the rules and lack of freedom and being checked on and monitored, you seemed to thrive there, Tessa. Part of it, of course, was getting to eat regular meals and being given some clothes that actually fit you and were nearly new. You had other children to play with, a little bed of your own, and more than anything I imagine you had a sense of security for once. I never did get your mother to admit just how bad things had become for the two of you, but I’d seen more than my fair share of heartbreaking cases and could take a pretty good guess about what your life had been like. Am I right?”

Tessa nodded reluctantly. “I mean, I don’t remember that specific time in my life - what four or five year old really does? Though now that you mentioned that shelter, I think I can recall a few details. Like, there was an old jungle gym out in the courtyard. And a couple of cats lived there, I think. Yes, I can almost picture them now. A big fat orange cat and then a smaller black and white one.”

Aubrey watched as a faraway look came over her half-sister’s face as Tessa continued tiredly.

“And I certainly don’t remember my mother being pregnant during the time we stayed at the shelter. But then, she was built on the small side, not nearly as tall as Aubrey and myself, and always too thin. Plus, she was also very clever and cagy when she needed to be, and was good at keeping things hidden, good at keeping secrets. Almost as good as she was at causing commotion.”

Ines grimaced. “That’s putting it mildly. After agreeing to give Aubrey up for adoption, Gillian went back and forth on her decision at least twice a week. Drove us all a little mad in the process. In the end, it was Father Fernandez - the priest who initially found her in his church - who convinced her it was the right thing to do. Within a few hours after giving birth to you, Aubrey, she signed the adoption papers, even though I knew it broke her heart to do so. But I think she realized deep down that she simply wasn’t capable of taking care of you. Not when she couldn’t take care of herself or the daughter she already had. And that was another matter entirely.”

Ines gave Tessa a look of such sadness and regret that Aubrey’s heart ached for both women.

“After Gillian gave birth to Aubrey in the hospital, she returned to the shelter to recover. But I knew she’d only be able to stay for a few more weeks at most, since the space would be needed for someone else and she had already been there for more than the allotted time. During those last weeks, I talked to her until I was blue in the face, trying to convince her she now needed to do the right thing for her other child. I pointed out that she didn’t have to give Tessa up permanently, just let her be placed in foster care for a few months while she got treatment for her bipolar disorder. Good treatment, at an in-patient facility where they could finally get her on a good track and on the right meds. And I swore up and down that I would find the best foster home in the state of New Mexico for Tessa, would check on her myself every single week to make sure she was okay. Aubrey, your parents would have been overjoyed to give Tessa a home, whether it was permanent or temporary. It would have been the best thing all around for everyone concerned. But Gillian wouldn’t hear of it, would get hysterical every time I mentioned the idea of being separated from Tessa even for a few days, and would threaten to leave the shelter if I kept at her about it.”

Ines covered her mouth with her hand for a moment, shaking her head. “And that’s where I underestimated Gillian, where I didn’t take her seriously. And where I admittedly screwed up big time. I decided to give her some tough love, tell her some cold hard facts, and try to shake her out of her self-induced pity party. She was already feeling vulnerable after giving up her baby, telling me she’d made a mistake and wanted to undo the adoption, and then started crying when I told her that wasn’t a possibility. But I forced myself to harden my heart, knowing how manipulative Gillian could be, and that I had Tessa to consider, too. So I told Gillian that she had less than a week before she’d have to leave the shelter, and that unless she wanted to be out on the street again she needed to agree to get treatment and to place Tessa in foster care. And when she balked yet again, I - I told her she was leaving me with no choice in the matter. Told her that she had forty eight hours to think it over, and if she didn’t agree I would have no choice but to call Child Protective Services and have Tessa forcibly taken away from her.” She paused for a breath before telling them the final part. “Sometime during the middle of the night Gillian packed up your things, Tessa, and snuck out of the shelter with you. By the time someone discovered you were missing the next morning, the two of you had disappeared. I’d ruined my chance of helping you to have a better life by losing my patience with Gillian. I made a huge error in judgment by giving her that ultimatum, should have known better. And in doing so I had to live with the fact that I’d most likely just condemned you to a life of poverty and homelessness and God knows what else. I’m so sorry, Tessa. Sorry that I failed you and your mother. Sorry that I couldn’t find a way to save you both.”

Tessa was weeping by now, and Aubrey wasn’t all that surprised to find that tears were streaming down her own face. She wrapped her arms around the woman who up until a few days ago had been a complete stranger, but who was now her sister, someone she shared a blood tie with, a bond that both of them had felt but hadn’t been able to properly explain until now.

“Hey, it’s okay,” she whispered to Tessa. “It’s all okay. You survived whatever happened to you, came through it a strong and beautiful and amazing woman. You have so much now, Tessa - your husband and two beautiful children and a family. And now - well, now you have me, too. We have each other. After twenty-five years I’ve finally found the sister I never knew I had. And you should only be crying tears of joy right now. The bad times - they’re long gone, and they’re never coming back. Okay?”

Tessa nodded, sniffling and wiping away her tears. “Okay,” she whispered brokenly. She gave Aubrey a weak smile. “And here I always thought a big sister was supposed to look after the younger one. That and braid her hair, things like that.”

“Nah.” Aubrey shook her head. “It goes both ways. After all, that’s what family does, you know - looks out for each other.” She grinned. “But you can still braid my hair for me if you like, especially since I’m not very good at it.”

They laughed, then turned their attention back to Ines who was smiling at them tearfully.

“You’ve both grown up into such beautiful young women,” the retired social worker told them earnestly. “I know for a fact that your parents are so proud of you, Aubrey. And while Gillian was far from an ideal mother, she loved you something fierce, Tessa. In her own chaotic way, she’d be extremely proud of you, too.”

They stayed for another hour, chatting with Ines and sharing stories about their lives and what it had been like for them growing up. Aubrey’s tales, of course, were far happier and cheerier than Tessa’s, and even then Aubrey sensed that her sister was holding back the worst of it, trying to spare a guilt-ridden Ines’ feelings. But even the little she told of the hard, deprived life she’d led as Gillian had constantly uprooted them from one town to the next, took a visible toll on Tessa, her pallor and emotional exhaustion evident.

“We should go,” announced Aubrey somewhat abruptly. She got to her feet and picked up the empty iced tea glasses, carrying them into the adjacent kitchen despite Ines’ protests not to bother. When she returned, she hurried over to Tessa’s side, taking her newfound sister by the arm and helping her to stand. Tessa gave her a faint smile of thanks as she made her way over to Ines.

The older woman hugged both sisters fiercely, wishing them a safe drive home. “I’m so thrilled that the two of you finally managed to connect. Though if Aubrey hadn’t been so fixated on not wanting to know anything about her past, she would have discovered a long time ago that she had a sister out there somewhere.”

Aubrey nodded. “It’s all I’ve been able to think about, actually. I keep thinking that if I hadn’t been so stubborn, had accepted my parents offer to find out more about my roots, that we would have located Tessa that much sooner, maybe early enough that she could have been living with us, could have been having a better life.”

“I thought about that, too,” admitted Tessa. “But if that had happened, it’s highly unlikely that I would have ever met Ian. And since I can’t even begin to imagine a life without him, it was probably meant to turn out just this way.”

They thanked Ines for her time and all of her help, promised to stay in touch, and then groaned a little as the hot, dry desert air blasted them like a furnace the second they stepped outside. They made a beeline for the car, where Aubrey cranked the A/C up to maximum strength.

“You look like you’ve been through the wringer,” she told Tessa frankly. “And I know neither of us are big coffee drinkers, but I think we could both use a serious jolt of caffeine right about now before making the drive back.”

Tessa pursed her lips. “Screw that. After what we’ve just gone through, I need something a whole lot stronger than caffeine. Like a Bloody Mary, for example. Maybe a couple of them since you’re driving.”

Aubrey grinned and gave her sister a high-five. “Now you’re talking! Fortunately for you, I know just the place.”