Chapter Four
JOEY RUBBED HER PALMS down her jeans and blew out an annoyed breath. Why was she nervous?
Her instincts had been right. She’d sensed he wanted to help, but Noah needed nudging. The picture had to have been what pushed him into agreeing. Owen was a kid with such great attitude and heart, and it showed in his picture. Even the Grinch of Starlight Bend couldn’t deny Owen’s wish..
Joey drove her car up the mountain, her tires spinning a bit on the intermittent patches of ice. The four-wheel drive helped, but her old Ford was, well, old, and her tires were probably low on tread, but she made it up the mountain none-the-less. She got out and walked to the door, this time taking in the grounds with appreciation.
The rustic mansion was part stone, part log cabin, with giant windows. The front patio was covered by a timbered roof, with various cushioned chairs scattered around a wood burning stove. The property was surrounded by thick woods and gorgeous pine, overlooking the mountains and the valley below. The land spilled in every direction for miles.
There was hot tub on the back deck visible as she approached, and a detached cabin that she assumed served as a guesthouse, except Noah Elliott didn’t have guests.
Again, she didn’t need to knock. The massive doors parted, and Charles greeted her with a warm smile. “Good evening, Madame. Welcome.”
“Please call me Joey. Thank you so much, Charles.”
“It’s my pleasure to have you as our guest this evening.” His proper speech matched his impeccable appearance. Black suit, red tie, polished shoes, and his glorious white mane of hair. He took her coat and hung it up. “Do you have any allergies? Any special preferences? Vegetarian? Gluten free? Pesceterian? Vegan?”
She laughed. “No, I eat just regular food. I’ll be happy with anything you cook.”
“Wonderful. For now, Mr. Elliott is waiting for you in the sitting room. Dinner will be ready shortly.”
“Thank you.” Her boots padded soundlessly on the rich wood floors as she made her way inside. Sammy greeted her at the door with canine enthusiasm. She rubbed and petted him, laughing as he shoved his wet nose at her.
“It was the picture. Very intuitive of you to know that.” His deep voice stroked all her hidden places. Joey fought a shudder as her body responded and craved him to stroke with more than his voice. She blushed.
She eased her way toward the fireplace and stood in front of Noah. She had to tilt her head way back to make eye contact, but she drank in his damaged face, wondering why something felt so right between them. The eye patch added to the sense of brooding mystery of his presence. “Because he’s pure of heart,” she said. “It’s hard to fight such innocence and happiness from a kid who has battled and seen more bad times than good. “
He nodded. The air stirred between them, rising to a steady hum of awareness. “Perhaps. Maybe it’s just because you’re a pain in the ass.”
She grinned, taking that as a compliment. “That, too. But I promise I won’t bother you much. I’m extremely organized and I made a detailed list of tasks. I can do most of it, of course.”
“Charles is quite competent and enjoys helping out. Before you dazzle me with your to-do list, let me offer you a cocktail. Wine?”
“Yes, please.”
“White or red?”
“Red.”
He crossed the room to the elegant bar in the corner and began uncorking a bottle. Today, his black slacks were offset by a snowy white shirt, unbuttoned at the neck. Dark swirls of hair peeked out from the fabric. Her fingers tingled, wondering what it would be like to spread her fingers across his broad chest, feeling his chest hairs tickle the palm of her hand. “Do you work out a lot?”
Oh. My. God. That was a stupid thing to say.
His lips twitched. “I have a full gym on the lower floor. Why?”
“Oh, no reason. Just wondering.”
“What else are you wondering.”
“Well, for someone who never leaves the house, you always seem a bit overdressed.”
He shrugged. “I like nice things.”
“You don’t have any urge to go out? Have a drink at the bar? Go Christmas shopping? Eat at a restaurant? Travel?”
Those broad shoulders lifted. He poured the wine into a glass. “I have a full bar here. I shop via the internet. Charles is a gourmet cook. There’s nothing out there that I can’t get in here.”
“Ouch.”
He laughed. “Nothing personal against you. Sammy is more personable than people and I prefer things to be predictable.”
She shook her head, fighting a smile. “You’re more stubborn than I am.”
“I doubt that.” He walked over and handed her the glass. His fingers brushed hers. A pleasant tingle prickled her skin. Her gaze swept over his face, noticing how he suddenly stiffened, drawing away from her. “I know its hard not to stare.”
She frowned. “Stare at what?”
“This, of course.” He jerked a finger at his face. “I understand how it makes people uncomfortable. This… having someone over for dinner isn’t something I do. Don’t feel obligated to stay. I understand.”
Joey shook her head. “That’s presumptuous. And stupid.”
He stared at her in disbelief. “Excuse me?”
“You were burned in a fire trying to save two teenagers. I know the story. They could have died but they didn’t, because of you. I’ve seen people without limbs. Vets who can’t walk. Women bald from chemotherapy. Forgive me, but looking at you doesn’t make me uncomfortable. It actually reminds me of the goodness in the world. Did you get a glass eye?”
He slowly shook his head. “No.”
“Well, I don’t blame you. The eye patch is pretty cool. You carry the look well.” She took a sip of wine and smiled. “This is delicious. I get the feeling it’s probably a lot more expensive than the nine dollar bottle of wine I usually buy.”
“It’s been aging for almost five years in my cellar. One of my favorites.”
“Then I’m going to enjoy every sip.”
“How old are you?”
“Thirty. You?”
“Forty,” he said. “You think you’ve seen some things. Well you haven’t. Trust me on that. I’ve seen more than you could imagine.”
She waved a hand in the air in dismissal. “Maybe. Maybe not. I’ve met twenty-year-old kids who make a senior citizen seem like a wide eyed child.”
“Yes, you said you were a social worker. What does that actually entail?”
“I place children in foster care, then follow-up with home site visits. My area includes Starlight Bend and Kalispell so I do some travelling.”
He sipped his own wine, seeming to mull over her words. “What made you want to get involved with such a career? Were your parents involved with charities or do-gooders?”
She winced, but answered the question with her usual honesty. Joey learned early to accept who she was, bumps and all. It was so much easier to accept her past and know she was the one who really controlled her future by making her own choices. It was a motto she consistently shared with the kids she counseled. “No, I grew up in foster care. My mom was a junkie. Died when I was four. No father, so I was put into the system, but never adopted. Guess I had too many issues and I wasn’t young enough. Couples prefer babies. Anyway, I finally scored a decent foster family. My foster mom was nice, and supportive. She always pushed education and good grades as a way out, so when I turned eighteen, I was able to get a scholarship and get into college. Took me longer to graduate since I was working full-time, but I got there eventually.”
“You were in foster care?” he asked quietly. “And on your own at eighteen?”
“I was one of the lucky ones. Too many kids fall through the cracks because they’re hard to deal with. We had a great after school program in Starlight Bend a few years ago, but it closed down. It helped to keep the kids busy, and out of trouble, giving them meaningful things to do. Most of these kids act out with these kick ass attitudes that are only hiding fear and feelings of inadequacy. That program helped a lot of those kids, but now too many of them are back to their old tricks. I wish I could reach more of them, but eventually they have to make their own choice whether to take my help or not.”
He turned from her, a curse blistering in the air. Joey winced. Okay, now she’d upset him for some reason. Maybe talking about her kids wasn’t a good idea. “Sorry, once I get going about my job, I don’t stop.”
The butler appeared in the doorway. “Dinner is served.”
“Thank you, Charles,” he said.
She took a step toward the door, but Noah didn’t move, refusing to look at her. “Did I say something wrong? Upset you in some way?”
“No.” He whirled around, his face hard and unyielding. He grabbed his cell, glanced at the screen, then tucked it away. “You did nothing.”
He quickly moved past her.
Obviously, she’d upset him. She followed, hoping she’d figure out what that hot button was so she wouldn’t push it again.
***
Noah sat at the head of the table, trying to sift through his rioting emotions. All of his assumptions about Josephine Whitman had exploded into shredded fragments. She hadn’t led a privileged lifestyle. She’d actually been without parents, in the system, and on her own way too young. As he listened to her abbreviated life history, he realized her scars were well hidden. Locked up in a vault that no one could see or judge. That wasn’t the only difference between them. She chose to do something about it. He chose to close the gate.
He’d been the one to stop funding the charity to help after school kids. In his zeal for justice and revenge, he made sure everything good he’d given to Starlight Bend would disappear.
And the kids were the casualties, something he’d never really considered.
He thought about his own blessed childhood. Where his parents allowed him the freedom to choose his college. He also chose to study abroad, something at the time he’d taken for granted. However, his parents taught him about the value of hard work and making it on his own, but he always knew he had a safety net if he fell. After the fire, he’d retreated into his shell in an attempt to protect them from his own decline. Yes, they spoke via Facetime, but there was a clinging grief from his mother each time he refused to allow them to visit him.
But it wasn’t just his appearance that forced him to refuse his parents a visit. It was the very thing this young woman, sitting at his dinner table, spoke of.
Josephine lived by her own example and still chose to give back. When he came to Starlight Bend in an attempt to reinvigorate the rural town, he’d done it for many reasons. It was good business. It was good to give back. It was good for his reputation. After all, it was easy to collect friends when one had money, power, and connections.
But the moment it got hard, he gave up. His parents would be ashamed.
He had also deserted his true friends along the way like he’d done to his parents. He never gave them the chance to help and support him.
And why after all these years was he suddenly questioning his decisions?
“Noah?”
He startled at the sound of her voice. Sweet and sultry. His name on her tongue stirred him. “Yes?”
“Umm, I love the dining room and all. And this table is gorgeous but would you mind if I moved to your end of the table? I’m lonely down here all by myself.”
He gazed down at the long polished mahogany table better fit for a large dinner party. And then he did something he rarely allowed himself to.
He laughed.
She laughed with him and Charles was suddenly beside her, deftly moving her plate setting to the chair adjacent to Noah’s. “Sorry, I’m used to eating alone. I guess yelling at you from the other side of the table is strange.”
“Well, since you haven’t said a word to me since we left the sitting room, I’d welcome even yelling. I’m sorry if I upset you.”
He shifted in his chair. She was so perceptive. Again, her steady brown eyes gazed into his face without a flinch. Even worse, he could swear he sensed a flare of interest, or perhaps attraction. As if she responded to him strictly as a man, scarred face and all. The way her breath caught just a tiny bit in her throat. The slight dilation of her pupils when his fingers brushed hers. Could it be possible? Or was he imagining things?
“You didn’t upset me. I got an email regarding work. It was wrong of me to even look. And really, I was just surprised at your upbringing. I had no idea you were raised in foster care and did so much on your own. It was wrong of me to assume you had it easy.”
“I understand. You don’t know me, and I must’ve come off as a bit judgmental of you. Let’s wipe the slate clean and make our own perceptions based on truth.”
“Fair enough. How long have you been in Starlight Bend?”
“Three years. I know it’s a bit isolated here, but something felt right when I got to this town. Like I had always been meant to live here.”
“I felt the same way when I arrived.” Too bad so much had changed along the way. Once, he’d been so proud to be part of the town. And still, when he had the opportunity to flee, he’d chosen to stay locked up in a mansion on top of a mountain and prove to them they’d all made a mistake not supporting him during the lawsuit. Shut them all out of his life and pull his support to teach them a lesson.
Noah shook off his disturbing thoughts. “Are you still in contact with your foster mom?”
“Yes, we check in now and then. She was good to me, but never pretended to be my real mom. I was happy to have a safe place to grow up. It helps me with my job since I can relate to the kids who are stuck in the system.”
His heart tripped an extra beat. She was... pretty… not plain as he first thought. Her brown eyes sparkled when she smiled, and her glossy hair brushed the top of her shoulders. Her scent held no false pretenses or tricks—just clean soap and a touch of cucumber. Her work outfits were practical. Wool skirt. Sweater. Boots. But he didn’t get the impression she was trying to hide her body. Josephine seemed comfortable in her own skin. She’d grown up being grateful for being safe, and trying to help other kids have the same experience. How had she remained so hopeful?
“Can I ask you a question?” he asked.
She forked up another piece of roasted chicken. “If you answer one of mine.”
His lips twitched. She was a frisky little thing. “Fine. Does it ever bother you to know you can’t save them all?”
She seemed to ponder the question with seriousness, as if needing to give him the most truthful answer possible. “It was harder in the beginning. I thought my job was to help all the kids. It kept me up at night and I felt like a failure. Until I began to realize my real job is to do the best I can every day. The rest I give over to God, or the universe, or whatever you believe in. Sometimes, it takes more courage to surrender what you can’t control.”
Pain splintered through him. He’d read a book once that divided people into two categories: old souls and new ones. Josephine seemed to have walked this Earth many times before, maybe in an attempt to keep trying to get it right. In business, he’d met thousands of people, and many held hidden motivations, himself included. Noah had even met a few who seemed true of heart—the warriors in the world to fight injustice. But this woman tried to make a difference in a quiet way, plodding along day after day, and believing in the best.
Maybe she was the real type of hero.
Suddenly, she threw back her head and laughed. “I never thought I could render you speechless for more than half a second.”
He shook his head. “No, you just surprised me. It’s probably one of the most honest responses I’ve ever heard.”
Her cheeks turned a delightful shade of pink. She ducked her head and fiddled with her fork. “Okay, so now you owe me one.”
He leaned back in his chair. “Make it count. I refuse to give you all my secrets over one dinner.”
She lifted her gaze and met his stare head on. “Tell me the real reason you were upset before we sat down to dinner. And don’t tell me its some business thing, or being surprised by me being raised in foster care.”
The warmth in his chest clashed with the ice that was slowly beginning to form again. Amazing how quickly she’d torn that down, and how easily he could create the coldness that had become his very existence. He needed to tell her. She’d leave, of course, especially when she told him he was the reason many of her kids were suffering.
He took a moment to compose himself, making sure his face reflected none of the emotion she’d brought to the surface. He took a deep breath and blurted out the worst of it. “I was the one who closed the after-school program for the kids. I was also the one to originally fund the Christmas Wish program, but after the lawsuit, I stopped funding that, too. I guess the town managed to keep that afloat without my help. The day I settled that lawsuit over the fire was the day Starlight Bend and everything I thought it meant to me, died. And I didn’t care who was hurt in the process.”
Saying the words gave him a sense of relief, but he also knew it meant this would be the last time he saw Josephine Whitman. It was silly to have even imagined they could have any type of friendship much less a relationship. She needed him to fund the carnival—and he’d give her that. It had been foolish of him to spin ridiculous dreams of romance or even friendship with a woman who would disappear from his life now that she knew the truth.
He waited for the horror in her eyes; the judgment; and prepared himself to feel nothing.
She took a sip of her wine, wiped her lips, and set her napkin primly on her lap. “Thank you for telling me. And thank you for agreeing to help Owen. I now fully understand why it was so hard for you to agree.”
Luckily for Noah, who was once again stunned speechless, Charles came in, bowing slightly. “Madame, are you finished with your dinner? Was it to your liking?”
She broke into a beautiful smile. “Yes, Charles, it was divine. Best chicken and roasted potatoes I’ve ever had. And please call me Joey. “
He watched his butler primp to peacock status. “Thank you, it’s an old recipe of mine. I don’t get to share it with many guests so it’s an honor to cook for you.”
“Josephine will be leaving now, Charles,” he said tightly. He didn’t understand this woman one single bit. Maybe he’d been out of the general population for so long, that he had no idea how people acted or behaved up close and personal, but if he were her, he’d be tossing a few insults.
“I am?” She blinked. “I thought we were going to go over the vendors and details? I brought everything with me.”
She stared at him with those big brown doe-like eyes. Her expression was nothing less than total confusion, as if his confession was enough for her.
“Sir? I will not allow Madame Joey to leave without dessert. My chocolate soufflé is still in the oven.”
Joey gasped. A hand flew to her throat. “Don’t tease me, Charles.”
“I would never tease you about dessert, Madame.”
The easy banter between them kept Noah in a constant state of speechlessness. He’d never seen Charles so taken with a guest before, especially after only meeting her twice. Or maybe it was just because his butler was starved for company other than him and Sammy. But he didn’t think so. Josephine had a way that encouraged people to trust her and open up. She offered no falsities, including false hope.
Only he was the one with false hope.
His heart sped up, and tightness restricted his throat. Dammit, he didn’t want to feel this way again. After so many years of feeling nothing, he figured the fire had burnt away all of those messy emotions.
He was wrong.
But he wasn’t wrong that as soon as the carnival was over, Josephine would be long gone. No more dinners. No more tea. No more visits.
Charles deftly cleared the table, leaving them alone in silence. The grandfather clock broke into somber chimes, announcing the hour. Noah cleared his throat. “I assumed you wouldn’t want to stay for dessert,” he said stiffly.
One brow arched. “You know what they say about assuming things right?”
God, he loved the way she bantered with him. He hadn’t met many people who weren’t intimidated by him, men included. “I refuse to be called an ass. I just told you I cut off all the funding in town. A normal woman would’ve stormed out by now.”
“Who said I was normal.” She sighed, giving Sammy a pat on the head. “You told me a truth. I respect that. Besides, that was then. This is now.” She smiled at him, catching his gaze, and pausing in the heat of the moment.
Noah watched her pupils dilate, and heard the tiny catch of breath in her throat. He wondered what she’d do if he reached out and touched her cheek. He wondered if her hair was as silky soft as he imagined. He wondered if her lips would part sweetly under his and allow him to take what he ached for so desperately.
Her eyes widened as if she caught all of his racing thoughts. She leaned in one precious inch.
“Dessert is served.”
Noah bit back a curse as his butler placed the two soufflé pots in front. A pitcher of whipped cream was set beside them. He wanted to strangle his butler until he saw the way Josephine took her first bite and moaned.
Then he decided to forgive Charles.
They ate, ignoring the strange moment between them. After coffee, he led her back into the sitting room by the fire. They lounged on the red velvet sofa, his laptop perched on his knees, her folders lay out on the table in front.
Normally, it was easy for Noah to fall into business mode. “I’ve gone over the vendors you supplied, but found a few who will do a better job. Our main problem is the parking and access to the grounds. Especially if it’s snowing.” But he kept stealing glances at the woman next to him like a smitten school-boy.
Agreed. We can’t have them block the main roadway even if traffic is light.” She nibbled the eraser on her pencil.
Noah smothered a groan at the erotic imagery. “We’ll have to close down the road, then direct them up the back route. There’s direct access to the back guesthouse where the carnival will be set up. I’ll have a de-icer and plow running, and they can park in this area here.” He tapped at the map of his property.
“That would be amazing. I just don’t know if they’ll allow me the necessary permits in such a time crunch.”
Noah hesitated. It had been a long time he spoke with anyone in this town. “I’ll handle it. If you work on securing the bathrooms, game, and refreshment booths, Charles and I will help coordinate the mechanics of the rides. This is the vendor that looks the most promising.” He pointed to a well-known traveling carnival that had a decent reputation in the local areas. “I’m assuming we’re doing all of the standard ride fare? Ferris wheel, scrambler, fun house? Mini planes, roller coaster, and fun slide?”
“Definitely. Don’t forget the carousel.”
“Of course. Is that one of your favorites?”
He caught an odd flare of pain in her brown eyes, before it quickly flashed away. “Yes,” she said softly. “I always loved the carousel.”
Noah studied her face. Her skin was quite extraordinary. Dewy soft and pale, which was even more striking against her dark hair. Had he thought her plain? He must’ve been nuts. There was nothing plain about Josephine Whitman. She probably had dates every weekend with normal men who went out in public and had perfect faces.
He pushed the thought from his mind and concentrated on the task at hand.
An hour later, they each had their assignments and a tight time line that left no room for error. She stood up from the couch and stretched. “I can’t believe it’s so late, I better go.” He rose and stood before her. The top of her head reached mid level with his chest. He had a crazy impulse to pull her against him and see if she fit as well against him as he imagined.
“Thank you again for everything. This evening has been wonderful,” she said.
“You’re welcome. I’ll be in touch.”
He walked her to the door. Charles handed over her coat, hat, and gloves, wished her a good evening, then disappeared. “Well, thanks again. Bye.”
“You’re welcome.” Hadn’t he already said that? What the hell was wrong with him? “Bye.”
They didn’t move. Just stared at each other.
She cleared her throat. Her red scarf was wrapped around her neck so tight, he ached to reach out and loosen it. But his hands seemed frozen at his sides.
“So—” she started.
“Maybe—” he said at the same time.
They both chuckled. “Ladies first,” he said.
“Oh, right. Umm, so I was just thinking if I needed some more guidance, maybe we can meet up for lunch sometime this week? I mean, only if you’re free. You’ve already done so much, but I thought maybe.”
“Yes. Why don’t you come Wednesday?”
“Oh. Well, I only have an hour and I thought maybe we could meet in town? It’s closer to my job so we’d have more time.”
“I don’t leave the house, Josephine. I thought you, of all people, understood that. Thank you, but that won’t work.” He opened the door with stiff hands. “Drive safe.”
“I… I…” Her face fell. Teeth reaching for her lower lip, she bit down, then nodded. “Sorry. Good night.”
She disappeared through the door and he shut it behind him. He watched her from the camera until she was safely in her car and then disappeared down the mountain.
No more. He wouldn’t put himself through an exercise of futility. He was a recluse, and she was a woman who walked in the light, an integral part of the community. They were too different. He’d been a fool to let this, whatever this was, continue. At the end of the day, he’d be the only one who got hurt.
“Pardon me, sir, but you were a complete asshole.”
He jerked back and glared at his long-time friend and companion. “I was truthful.”
“You were being an asshole,” Charles repeated. “That girl likes you.”
“Things were getting out of hand. She’s not the type to be locked in a mansion for the rest of her life—”
“Neither are you.”
“I’m not paying you for your opinion, Charles,” he snapped.
“Yet I’m offering it for free. She’s a sign. It’s time to put the past behind. This is not a life, sir. It’s barely an existence and I’m tired of watching more years go by and more of you disappearing every day. Think about the lady’s words. She’s smart.”
He turned on his polished heel and left.
Noah headed toward his study, pausing in front of the decorative beveled mirror in the grand hallway.
His reflection peered back at him, showing him the ugly truth. Unnaturally smooth, red skin with deep scars crisscrossed his entire profile. The lump of tissue left on his ear seemed grossly emphasized with his short hair. Noah reached up and slowly pulled off his eye patch. The right socket was empty and had closed up, another jarring memory he carried with him daily. The perfectness of his left side only made the whole of his face more grotesque. No wonder kids called him Two Face when they spotted him.
A woman like Josephine Whitman didn’t deserve half a man. It was better he did this now, rather than later.
He turned from the mirror.