Ten

Once they made camp that night, Lara set to work. The men were dirty and hungry and dead-tired, so she would fill their bellies with wholesome food that would lift their spirits.

Instead of the quick meal she’d planned, she decided to make mounds of hot biscuits, gravy, and the freshly killed prairie chickens Houston had brought her. Apple dowdy for dessert. While she and Henry prepared the food, Houston took Gracie with him. Her heart swelled and a mist blurred her vision to see him prop her little daughter in front of him in the saddle and ride off. How had Lara gotten so lucky? Houston amazed her with his patience and kindness.

She closed her eyes for a second, remembering their kiss earlier that arose out of relief to find her safe following the danger. The way his firm but gentle mouth had gently pressed to hers floated across her mind. Her lips tingled. No one had ever kissed her that way before. His tender touch had made her feel special, almost cherished even.

Maybe he wouldn’t be so gentle the second time. Sighing, she nervously brushed back a tendril of hair that had slipped from her braid and told herself she’d seen no anger in the man she’d married. Putting her doubts aside, she turned her attention to the meal.

The minute she had everything ready, Henry rang the bell to call the men. Because of the cattle stampede, no one had eaten since breakfast before dawn. Amid the darkening shadows, they came running. Houston rode up a few minutes later, bathed in the dusky twilight. Clutching Gracie in one arm, he swung down. The lines around his mouth looked much deeper. When he reached Lara, the smell of sage, saddle leather, and man engulfed her. She loved the different fragrances that spoke of a working man. He bent and brushed her scarred cheek with his lips. The preference appeared to send a message—that her scar didn’t bother him.

She handed him a cup of coffee, smiling shyly. “I imagine you can use this.”

“Yes, ma’am. I sure can.” His fingers curled around hers as he took the cup. “It’s been a long day, Mrs. Legend.”

“One to be grateful to survive.” Flustered, Lara stepped back.

His coffee-brown eyes pierced her. “I never take the lives of my men—or family—lightly.”

Lara watched him turn to his drovers and admired the easy way he had with them. She held Gracie as each man tipped his hat to her and said thanks before reaching for a plate. But her eyes never left one tall Texan who wore honor and strength like a second skin.

* * *

With night pressing around her like a cloak of soft wool, Lara hummed while she washed the dishes and put everything away.

The men were fed and they’d loved what she’d served. Houston sat on the ground with Gracie. Her gaze touched him as he leaned back against his saddle and laid the babe on his chest, one hand patting her small back. She didn’t have to see Gracie’s eyes to know that soon she would be in dreamland.

Houston caught Lara looking and winked as boldly as some scoundrel. Heat rose to her cheeks. She lowered her gaze and made quick work of the dishes.

Maybe she could get out of kissing him. He didn’t appear the kind to force his attentions on her. But before she took a step, a yearning to feel his lips on hers again pushed all that aside.

She wanted to discover more of the pleasure that had wound through her earlier.

Stowing everything in the proper bins and crates, she placed the tongue of the chuck wagon to the north as her father had explained was customary. That way, in the predawn hours, the trail boss would always know which way to head.

“Do you want me to take Gracie to her bed?” Lara asked, joining him.

“That would be a good idea, if you can pry open her fist to get my vest out of it. For such a little thing, she’s sure got a grip on her.”

Lara laughed, bending. It wasn’t easy, but she finally freed Gracie from him. The child had hung on for dear life. Maybe she feared he’d leave and not come back.

Houston was so near, his soft breath fanned Lara’s cheek. Her pulse raced. This man she’d married invaded her every thought. He’d shown her kindness and caring and brought hope back from the grave where she’d buried it.

“I’ll lay her in her bed,” Lara said.

“Good. She’s tired.” Houston laid a hand on her arm. “You’ll be back?”

“Yes. I won’t be long.”

A rider materialized from the darkness. When the horse moved closer, she recognized her brother Virgil. He looked dead on his feet. He untied his bedroll from behind the saddle. No doubt he’d be asleep in half a minute.

“I’ll be here for just a little while,” Houston said, yawning. “Have to spell the others.” At her questioning glance, he explained, “Everyone shares guard duty, me included.”

She nodded and hurried to lay Gracie in her crib beside the chuck wagon, lingering a moment to make sure the child didn’t wake.

With her precious daughter sleeping soundly, she returned to the fire. As she’d predicted, Virgil was fast asleep, but Houston was nowhere to be seen. Her heart sank with disappointment. She’d missed him, missed their good-night kiss.

Then she heard him calling quietly from the deep shadows. “Over here, Lara.”

Following his voice, she discovered him leaning against a dead mesquite tree. Rays from the full moon lightened the dark-brown strands nestling against his collar, adding glints of silver. His gaze met hers.

“I didn’t want the comings and goings to interrupt, so I walked out here,” he explained.

Lara wet her lips. “I thought you’d changed your mind.” That he didn’t want to kiss a woman so scarred.

“Not a chance, lady.”

Others had spoken of Becky Golden’s beauty. Houston had loved her and still did. Lara had been forced on him. No matter that she was beginning to warm to the idea of feeling his lips on hers—of wanting that intimacy—Houston may not feel the same. It could really all be playacting for his men, so they wouldn’t gossip. This was a mistake. She turned to go.

“Please wait.” He pushed away from the tree. “I won’t hurt you. I’ll never hurt you.”

No, he would never lay a hand to her, and that surety, plus the earnest note in his voice, stopped her from leaving. Her steps were hesitant as she moved slowly to him. When he opened his arms, she walked into his embrace as though it were a door and safety awaited there. Inhaling the scented air, she laid her head against the hard wall of his chest.

Houston lightly rested his chin on top of her head. “I’m real glad you came on this drive. Nights can get lonely out here.”

His deep voice vibrated inside her. It was like he’d become part of her. “I’m glad I did too. Even though I had to work to convince you.”

“Yeah, well, I’m a stubborn fool.”

He put a finger under her chin and lifted her face. Without a word, he lowered his mouth. The instant his warm lips touched hers, Lara had to clutch his arm to keep from falling. Her heartbeat pounded as though trying to keep up with the blood racing through her veins.

A hot, demanding achiness swept over her. She needed this man. At this moment, she didn’t think she could live without him.

Nor did she want to try.

With a low cry, he placed his large hands under her jaw and deepened the kiss, sending a series of quickenings into her stomach, similar to the ones she’d felt when Gracie curled in her womb. Maybe these stirrings signaled life, much in the same way her baby’s movements had, to let her know she was alive and couldn’t wait to be born.

Maybe she was being reborn.

Maybe she could forget the past and start fresh.

Maybe this was what she’d waited so long for.

As she leaned into him and gripped Houston’s vest, pleasure like she’d never felt swirled inside her. She clung to him, afraid if she let go, he’d vanish and she’d discover it was a dream.

Could this be tiny stirrings of love?

Lara suddenly pushed away from him. No, it wasn’t love. She refused to even let that thought enter her head. Love didn’t exist, not for her. It was too dangerous to believe there could ever be anything more than what she had.

Houston was in love with a ghost, and she…

“What’s wrong, Lara?” He gently pushed back her hair. “Did I do something to upset or frighten you? I shouldn’t have grabbed you like that. I forgot.”

“No, you did nothing wrong.” It was her. She was all wrong. “I’m sorry,” she murmured brokenly.

Through tears, she stumbled back to the light of the campfire, escaping all that brought pain.

The past.

Herself.

An impossible future.

Escaping everything. If only it were that easy.

As she stood beside Gracie’s crib, Houston lightly touched her shoulder. He’d followed her. “Tell me. Talk to me. I want to understand.”

She owed him some explanation. Impatiently dashing away the tears, she turned and let anger spill. “It’s not you, Houston. It’s me. I’m broken. Too broken to fix. You can’t repair something that’s missing the pieces. Blackstone took a lot more than…” She paused. “He stole…”

“Your soul,” he supplied quietly. “Mine was stripped away also. I don’t know exactly how you feel—I couldn’t possibly—and I’m sure it will take a long time to work through. But…we can try. If you’re willing.”

His hand tightened on her shoulder, and the shadows couldn’t hide the muscle working in his jaw. She saw caring in his eyes and felt it in his gentle touch.

“We’re both trapped by the past. I don’t know if I can ever find peace. I don’t know if I can ever be a wife,” she murmured, looking out into the darkness that hid waiting evil. It always waited there, just beyond the light. “Sometimes I still see his sneering face, hear the hate in his voice, feel his hands on me,” she whispered. “I haven’t slept a full night through since. Not once.”

“I can make no promises that this will work out, but I will try my hardest. I want to help you. Just tell me how.”

She raised her eyes to his. “I may not ever be whole again. Are you prepared for that?” No matter how difficult she found it, she would always be honest. He deserved that at least.

“I am. I’ll never forsake you.” Houston pulled her to him slowly, giving her time to break away if she wanted, and smoothed back her hair. “I’m not going anywhere. We’ll work this out together. We have mountains in front of us, and Lord knows you have one of the tallest, but no one can tell you when or how to climb. I’ll help you figure it out and, if I can’t catch you, I’ll pick you up when you fall.”

This was the first genuine conversation about their relationship they’d had since the day they pledged to stand by each other in sickness and in health. Maybe it meant they were making progress. Or maybe it was nothing more than meaningless words for a poor woman who had little to offer.

And yet… “Don’t ever pity me,” she warned. “I will accept anything but that.”

“It’s not you I pity,” Houston assured her in a cold voice edged with steel. “It’s Blackstone. I’m going to make him very, very sorry he was ever born, and you can bet on that.”

“If you find him.”

“I’ll find him, all right. I’ll dog him to the ends of the earth if I have to. There’s no place to hide that I won’t find him. I’ll turn over every rock, look in every hole. He won’t be able to take a deep breath, because I’ll be there.”

His cold voice, coupled with the bitter words, scared her a little. She feared for anyone who hurt his family. Houston Legend would kill without batting an eye. That much was crystal clear. He was barely able to contain his rage now—what would he be like without restraint?

Though she truly believed deep down his promises to never hurt her, she didn’t wish to see that rage directed at anyone. Anger terrified her. It made men do horrific things.

She didn’t want to see Houston in that state. If she lost him, what would she do?

Lara yearned to touch his hard jaw where a muscle still twitched, but she’d already pushed him away. Laying her hand on him now would only confuse the issue. She wasn’t going to be someone who was hot one minute and cold as ice the next.

“Houston, I’m not asking—”

“I know that. But it’s something I have to do. For you and for me. The crime can’t go unpunished. If we don’t have justice, what will the world become? This is an unforgiving land full of lawless people, and they have to pay for the evil they do.” His expression told her he’d go all the way to hell and beyond to make their world safer.

But still—Yuma would kill him as soon as he got the chance. Terror froze her blood.

“And that duty falls on your shoulders, Houston?”

“Mine and every man with a desire for law and order. It’s going to take every single one of us to tame this wild land.” He jerked off his hat and shoved a hand through his hair. “I hope I live to see the day when we run the evil men out of this state.” He crushed his hat in his large hands before jamming it back on his head. “Reckon I’d best take my turn at singing these cows to sleep.”

Houston took two steps before Lara caught his arm.

“Do you think you could kiss me once more?” she whispered.

Firelight revealed a surprised but pleased smile. “Anything for you, Lara.”

Lara searched his eyes. “Does it mean that much to you?”

“I didn’t expect it to, but it does. It really does.”

Her heart hammered when he dipped his head and laid his lips to hers. Instant heat flamed, along with something else—a dream that one day she could give her husband the kind of wife he deserved.

As he drugged her with a slow, scorching kiss, she did something she’d never done before. Lara melted into his arms and slid a hand around his neck into his soft hair.

What they had was far from a normal marriage, but this seemed a start.

Maybe, just maybe…she felt a tiny flicker of hope curling through her. Maybe making a life together was like starting a campfire. You had to begin with small pieces of kindling and let the flames take hold.

And maybe eventually, they’d find a way to the peace they both sought.