Chapter Seventeen
Amelia made it home barely in time to be discovered in her bed when the family woke for breakfast. She didn’t tell Julia about the masquerade before they went down, and the suspense was clearly causing her sister a great deal of distress. Amelia couldn’t help but be glad of the reprieve. She wanted to keep what she and Nicholas had shared to herself for a little while longer.
“You’re in an exceptionally good mood this morning,” her mother commented.
Amelia choked on her juice. “Am I?”
“You’ve been smiling to yourself since you came down.”
Amelia’s father looked up. “You do seem happier. Have you and Montrose stopped fighting?”
“No, not exactly.” Amelia set her glass down. “About Montrose. I need to tell you something.”
Julia’s fork clattered to her plate. “Mia, can I speak to you a moment in the hall?”
Amelia knew what Julia was going to say, but she was tired of living the lie. She just wanted her engagement over so she could figure out the rest of her life. Nicholas loved her. She wasn’t certain how she would manage it, but she would find a way for them to be happy. “We’re in the middle of breakfast.”
Julia kicked her under the table.
“Whatever it is, it will wait until after breakfast,” Lord Bishop declared.
Lady Bishop frowned at Julia. “What were you saying about Lord Montrose, darling?”
Amelia met Julia’s stare. If she told Papa about Embry’s threats, he would be livid. He would insist on getting involved, and it would likely go wrong. She sighed. She couldn’t tell them. Even though she felt unstoppable after her night with Nicholas, she couldn’t do that to her family. “Nothing. I’ve quite forgotten it.”
Lord Bishop looked between his daughters. “I won’t pretend to know what you two are up to. Just promise me it’s harmless?”
Having spent last night making love to Nicholas at an orgy for England’s debauched nobility, Amelia wasn’t certain she could promise that. She’d never been a good liar.
Fortunately, Julia had no such limitations. “We promise.”
Lady Bishop pretended like the entire exchange hadn’t happened. “I’m sorry to hear you and Embry are still at odds. Do try to work it out when he comes to call today. It wouldn’t do to be out of sorts when you say your vows.”
“Embry is coming today?” Nicholas had convinced her he wouldn’t hear about the Sinner’s Ball, so he couldn’t be visiting for any reason Amelia was likely to enjoy. Since his accusations on the terrace, Amelia had been avoiding him, letting other appointments run long or forgetting he’d intended to call.
“Did I not tell you?” Lady Bishop’s tone was a little too innocent.
“You did not.”
“Well, if you’ve made other plans you’ll have to cancel them.”
“I’ll be here.” Today was as good a day for an Embry confrontation as any. Today she was unstoppable.
“Good.” Lady Bishop sipped her coffee in satisfaction.
“I’ll be here as well, in case anyone still cares about what I get up to,” Julia announced.
Lady Bishop frowned at her oldest daughter. “Don’t be dramatic, dear.”
“Don’t be so obvious, Mother.”
“Actually, Julia. I wanted to discuss a physician I heard about in Manchester with you.” Lord Bishop speared his eggs enthusiastically. “He has some interesting ideas.”
Julia set her fork down with a clatter. “I am not going to Manchester.”
“No, no. I’m going to go, today in fact, but I didn’t want you to be surprised if I bring him back with me.”
“Hooray!” Julia said sarcastically. “More doctors. I am the luckiest girl in all the land.”
The rest of breakfast passed quickly. After, Lord Bishop left for the train station and Lady Bishop went up to prepare for her day. Amelia and Julia stayed in the dining room, sipping chocolate and lingering over their eggs.
“I sometimes wonder, if Mother wasn’t wildly in love with Papa, if she wouldn’t rather it were her who was engaged to Embry instead of me.”
Julia didn’t laugh. “What was that nonsense earlier?”
“Hmm?”
“You were going to tell them.”
Amelia sighed. “But I didn’t.”
“But you were going to,” Julia insisted. “I’m not suffering through all this poking and prodding for you to lose your nerve.”
“I’m not. Nicholas and I…” She couldn’t say it. Not in the dining room where anyone might overhear her. “I just want to be free of this mess so we can all get on with our lives.”
“Abandoning the plan isn’t the answer.”
“I know.”
Julia stared at her over the breakfast dishes for a moment longer, then she relaxed. “What do you think Embry wants?”
The air in the library was unduly warm. Memories of Amelia kept replaying in Nicholas’s mind. The curve of the small of her back, the tiny gasps she made, her hair trailing across his skin as she explored his body with her mouth. He was held hostage by his mind as each scene played over and over on an endless loop.
Amelia loved him. They hadn’t spoken about the future. Hadn’t spoken much at all, really, but she loved him. It was enough for now. Everything else could be worried about later.
“Lord Nicholas, a message arrived for you.” One of Philip’s footmen handed him a letter and disappeared when Nicholas indicated he needed nothing further.
It had the Lincoln’s Inn seal. He took a deep breath. If it was good news, he stood a decent chance of providing for himself if Amelia changed her mind about marrying him. If it was good news, he had three years of hard work and study ahead of him. Was he ready for that? Could he spend that much time away from Amelia?
Still, he wanted to become the sort of man she could marry, if she changed her mind. He wanted to be ready to build a future with her if she decided she wanted to. And, if he was being honest, he wanted it for himself. It was time for him to build a life of his own—with or without Amelia as his wife.
He opened the letter.
Dear Mr. Wakefield,
We are pleased to accept your application to study at Lincoln’s Inn beginning with the Trinity term. Please contact the treasurer no later than a fortnight from the first day of term to settle your tuition and arrange for your accommodations at the Inn.
Congratulations, and welcome to the fraternity of legal minds.
Sincerely,
Dean of the Chapel
W.H. Tinney
He let out an un-Wakefield-like whoop. Caroline rushed in, concerned. “Is everything all right?”
“It truly is.” Nicholas jumped up, kissing Caro on both cheeks. “Is Philip back?”
“Just now. Shall I get him?”
“Please.”
His sister-in-law came back with Philip in tow, and Nicholas handed him the letter.
Philip read it over and nodded with pride. “Well done, little brother.”
“You’re sure the timing is all right?”
“Couldn’t be better. I’m relinquishing the last of my committee seats at the end of Hilary term.”
Caroline squeezed his arm. “I’m so happy for you, Nicholas. You’re going to make a wonderful barrister.”
“And an even better representative in Commons!” Philip insisted.
“One step at a time, I think.” There was so much that could go wrong between now and then. Right this instant, Nicholas just wanted to celebrate.
“You’ve been avoiding me,” Embry said, once they’d been left alone.
She was unstoppable, Amelia reminded herself. Unstoppable women didn’t waste time being polite. “The last time I saw you, you accused me of having an affair with Lord Bellamy.”
“I’m sorry, I—”
“Was wrong. You’re wrong about a lot of things, like wanting to marry me.”
“Amelia, please.” Embry cast his eyes toward the ceiling. “I only came to find out why you haven’t accepted Charlotte’s invitation to her coming out ball tonight.”
“Because we hate each other and I don’t want to go?”
Embry pulled at his cravat, loosening it due to some imaginary warmth. The shadows under his eyes stood out in the bright light coming through the window. At least she was making him as exhausted as he was making her.
“She’s my family, Amelia. You two are going to have to learn to rub along together amiably. For what it’s worth, she’s promised to behave.”
“Has she?” Amelia laughed. “Well, I make no such promises. In fact, I’ve become rather good at misbehaving lately.”
“I’ve noticed.”
“You don’t know the half of it.” Perhaps, just perhaps, she could end this here and now. He couldn’t possibly want her if she told him.
She hoped Nick would forgive her. “I made love to Nicholas Wakefield last night. Many times.”
Embry recoiled from her. The lines of his face constricted into a mask of revulsion—of pain. “You’re lying.”
“I don’t love you,” she said, enunciating each word so he couldn’t mistake her. “I love him.”
Embry put a hand up, trying to physically stop the words from reaching his ears. He shook his head. “You’re young and inexperienced. You only think you love him because you don’t know any better.”
Disbelief pushed a choked laugh from her throat. Recklessness spurred her further. All or nothing. “I’ve had his cock in my mouth, Embry, and I liked it.”
Emotions flashed across his face too quickly to identify. The last one had Amelia backing toward the door.
“Is that what it takes to get your attention?” he asked, stalking toward her. “To earn your loyalty? Have I been mistaken in behaving like a gentleman?”
“Embry, stop.”
It seemed for a moment like he might do something drastic, but he regained his composure. When he spoke again, his voice was cold and controlled. “I will consider your confession and decide what to do with it. In the meantime, be ready when I come back this evening.”
Amelia listened to him storm out; his heavy footfalls in the hall, Lady Bishop begging him to stay a little longer. She went upstairs to Julia’s room to avoid the lecture she knew would be coming.
“What was all that about?” Julia asked when the door slammed downstairs.
“I told Embry I made love to Nicholas.”
Julia eyes flew wide. “Did you say it, or did you actually do it?”
“I did it.” Amelia nodded, rushing past that confession. The adrenaline was starting to wear off and shock was setting in. “I was quite graphic when I told him. I said cock.”
“Well,” Julia said. “If that doesn’t do it.”
I will consider your confession. “Jules, if I have to marry him, I think I might die.”
“Don’t be ridiculous. It will not come to that.”
“It might. He should have thrown me over right then and there, but he didn’t. You know I can’t let…”
Julia finished what Amelia wouldn’t say. “Let me suffer through life without a fortune to insulate me from people’s disgust?”
The matter of fact way her sister spoke about being reviled broke Amelia’s heart. “You’re not disgusting.”
“Obviously not,” Julia said imperiously. “But it doesn’t stop people from thinking it.”
“It’s not only you. Mother and Papa would suffer as well.”
“But me most.” Julia refused to let it go. “Admit it. If it were just Mother and Papa, you would have called the engagement off weeks ago.”
Amelia couldn’t deny it.
“Promise me, Mia. Promise you won’t marry him, no matter what happens.”
“I can’t.”
“You can. It’s time for you to be selfish.”
As if it were that easy, to suddenly decide to become selfish. “Maybe it won’t come to that.”
“Perhaps,” Julia agreed. “We do have other options. For instance, we could drug Montrose and have him shipped off somewhere awful.”
The corners of Amelia’s mouth turned up.
“Or we could have him killed,” Julia suggested.
“Julia.” Her sister’s tone was a little too earnest for Amelia’s comfort.
Her sister’s enthusiasm rose. “Better yet, marry him and then we’ll have him killed. Then you’ll be a widowed countess and you can do whatever you like.”
Amelia shook her head. “All of your solutions sound like something a villain in a play would do.”
“Then let’s be villains,” Julia said seriously. “Honestly. Montrose is using the fact that no one likes us to blackmail you, so to hell with it. Let’s be unlikeable.”
It probably wouldn’t take much more before Amelia agreed to something of this sort. She was tired and she was frightened. “If it comes to that, I’ll think about it.”
“If it comes to that, you won’t have to. I’ll see to it.”
“Julia!”
“Don’t.” Julia took Amelia’s hands in hers. “I won’t be used to hold you hostage much longer, Mia. I am not some helpless pawn.”
She certainly wasn’t. Amelia envied that. She’d spent more time feeling helpless in the last few weeks than she’d ever thought possible.
Flopping back onto the bed, Amelia asked, “How did we go from racing horses through the meadow to pondering the murder of my fiancé?”
Julia fell back beside her. “You tried to get married before me.”
“How foolish of me.”
Getting dressed to go out took longer than it should have. Her every movement weighed with dread. Her life was closing in around her, a noose ready to strangle her.
“Honestly, Amelia.” Lady Bishop sailed into the room without knocking. “Why aren’t you dressed? Embry will be here any minute.”
Embry might be the one holding the rope, but her mother was certainly cheering him on.
“Mother.” Amelia watched her mother in the mirror’s reflection. “I need to ask something of you.”
“Of course, dear. Anything.”
“Stop conspiring with Embry.”
Lady Bishop’s features masked themselves in neutrality. “I haven’t been doing anything of the sort.”
“You have. You are. Please stop.”
Her mother’s nose tilted slightly into the air. “I’m only trying to keep you from making a grievous mistake.”
Amelia turned to her mother. “So you know I don’t want to marry him?”
“You’ve just got a case of nerves, darling.”
“Does Papa know?” Amelia asked. “That I don’t intend to marry Embry?”
“Of course not.” Lady Bishop’s affront was evident. “And he doesn’t need to, because you’re going to give up this foolishness.”
“I will not. I don’t love him.”
Her mother’s expression turned mulish. “Well, you should have thought of that before you accepted his proposal. But I’m sure you’ll change your mind once you…”
She would not be changing her mind, but her mother’s sudden trailing off drove another spike of apprehension through Amelia. “Once I what?”
“Nothing. Marry. Once you marry, you’ll grow used to him.”
She didn’t care that Amelia would be trapped in a loveless marriage. “Please leave my room, Mother.”
“Embry is almost here.”
“Leave. Now!” This new habit she was developing of shouting at people was strangely satisfying.
At the door, Lady Bishop turned back to her daughter. “Being an outcast was never difficult for you, but going back will be agony now that you know what you’re missing.”
“You mean it will be agony for you. You’re the only one of us who ever cared.” And you’re willing to sacrifice me to get it back. Betrayal sluiced under Amelia’s skin like hot water. It rushed past her eardrums and left splotchy patches of crimson on her skin. It reached her eyes, leaking out in tears of accusation.
Her own mother.
“Mia?” Julia came in.
Amelia tried to wipe them away before Julia could notice. It was hopeless.
“What’s she done now?” Julia tipped Amelia’s chin up, forcing their eyes to meet.
“She doesn’t care that I’m unhappy. She wants me to marry him anyway, so she can keep going to parties.”
Julia’s eyes narrowed. Her head tilted the way it did when she was plotting one of her elaborate revenges, but she smiled reassuringly. “She can want all she likes. We make our own decisions. Haven’t we always?”
Amelia nodded. Since the very first, from their earliest moments. She dried her eyes, standing up. “I’m all right now.”
“Are you certain?”
“I am. I should get ready. Embry is probably here by now.”
Frown lines creased Julia’s brow. “You don’t have to go, Mia. We can say you’re ill.”
Amelia shook her head. “No, It’s all right. I’ll be all right.”
“Do you want me to go with you? I will.”
The feeling of betrayal disappeared, replaced by a new ache. Julia, who hadn’t set foot outside of the townhouse since she’d arrived, who hid upstairs when anyone visited, was offering to go to a ball. Just to make Amelia feel better. Any other day, Amelia would have jumped on the opportunity, but she knew now that it wasn’t because Julia wanted to. It was because she loved Amelia that much.
“I’m really all right. If you want to come anyway, of course, you may.”
“No, thank you,” Julia said, relief evident.
Someday. Someday Julia would be ready, for her own reasons. For now, Amelia would be strong enough to face her problems on her own.
“So what do you think?” Amelia asked, turning to the ballgowns laid out on the bed. “Which one of these is more suited to evading one’s fiancé? Amethyst with seed pearls, or peach chiffon?”
Jasper’s summons came with a request that Nicholas dress for dinner. As usual, no explanation was included. Honestly, the man ought to write penny dreadfuls for all his love of mystery and cloak-and-dagger communications.
When he arrived, Jasper was already seated in the dining room with a course in front of him.
“It is customary, when one invites someone over for a meal, that one wait until that person has arrived to begin eating it.”
“Customary is for the boring. Sit down.”
A place setting appeared, and a chair was pulled out for Nicholas. The footman and Jasper stared at him expectantly.
Nicholas sighed and sat down. “Your message said you had news.”
“It’s bad manners to discuss business during dinner.” Jasper tasted what looked to be pea soup.
“Sod off.”
Jasper grinned. “The boy I have following Montrose sent some interesting information today.”
“Amelia loves me. Montrose and his movements can go hang.”
“What a lovely picture, but I think you want to hear what he had to say.”
“Fine.” Nicholas waited in vain. “Are you going to tell me?”
“Not yet. If I tell you, you’ll rush off and I would like to enjoy a meal with you.”
“Jasper, if it’s important, just tell me.”
“I will tell you, if you give me your word that you won’t do anything rash until after we finish our meal.”
Nicholas looked at the table. “What course are we on?”
“The third.”
“Of?”
“Eight. I assure you, there will be plenty of time. The information pertains to something happening tomorrow.”
Not even Jasper’s mysterious ridiculousness could ruin his mood today. “You’d better get me some wine, then.”
Jasper grinned in triumph. The footman jumped to attention, filling his glass with a rich gold chardonnay. Nicholas tested his soup. Cucumber and mint, served chilled. “This is delicious.”
“I’m glad you like it.” Jasper beamed. “I think Montrose is planning something.”
“Beyond blackmailing Amelia?”
Jasper swirled his wine in its glass. “He has booked passage for Upper Canada, leaving tomorrow.”
Nicholas set down his glass, daring to hope. “That sounds like he’s finally given up.”
“He booked passage for two. Himself and his wife.”
The hope evaporated. “Amelia wouldn’t have changed her mind.”
“No, I don’t think so,” Jasper agreed. “I entertained the idea that you were a terrible lover and you’d horrified her back into his arms, but I taught you everything you know, so that can’t be it.”
He ignored Jasper’s Jasper-isms and sifted through to the heart of the words. “You think Montrose means to kidnap her.” His stomach was already churning.
“I think he might.”
He had to get to her. If Montrose managed to get her on that ship, Nick might never see her again. He stood up.
Jasper waved him back into his chair. “The ship doesn’t leave until tomorrow, and you promised you’d stay until the end.”
How was he supposed to eat when the love of his life could be in the midst of a kidnap attempt? “Amelia is in danger.”
Jasper gestured his fork. “My messengers assure me she is at home, right where she ought to be.”
“I thought I told you to stop spying on her.”
“Aren’t you glad I never listen to you?”
“Not particularly.” Nick looked down at his bowl. The soup had suddenly lost all flavor. “If you expect me to stay, you’d better serve the fish early.”
Montrose would not win.