Khalid
She had tossed and turned all night. And when she finally woke up, she was still wearing yesterday’s little argument on her face, not even bothering to tell me, “Good morning” before heading straight for the bathroom. And even when she emerged with a fresh face and the hotel’s robe draped around her frame, she still wasn’t paying me much attention, not even looking my way until I asked, “I take it you’re still upset?”
“Upset about what?” she asked with a quick glance before pulling her eyes back to her phone.
I wasn’t going to let her nonchalance about it get me off-track, getting straight to the point once I answered, “Upset about last night, Jayla.”
She shook her head, too busy getting her scroll on to look at me when she replied, “Nope. Your message was received. I’ll stay in my lane and mind my business until I can stop trippin’, or whatever you called it.”
Crawling a little closer to her side of the bed, I sighed, “Come on now, Jay. I apologize for coming at you like that, but you gotta understand where I’m coming from too. I mean, it wasn’t like I was texting her to intentionally disrespect you. I just… I guess I don’t know what I’m doing cause I don’t know what we’re doing. One day, you’re all about me. The next, you’re mad and it’s just business. Then you show up here like everything is all good until it turns sour with this petty Shawnie shit. I can’t keep up with you, shorty.”
It was one thing for us to take it slow and grow little by little. But it was a whole other thing for her to keep giving me these mixed signals; acting like she was fully removed in the morning then acting like she was all in at night. And while I expected my honesty about it to be well-received, I was completely caught off-guard once I saw Jayla’s face transform into a scowl as she turned the screen of her phone my way to say, “You can’t keep up with me, but I see you had no problem keeping up with all those Instagram comments you replied to in the wee hours of the morning. Getting your little flirt and tease on with all these random girls on the internet like I wasn’t asleep right next to you.”
Being up in the wee hours of the morning was a symptom of our little argument, going to the internet to do what I’d have to do eventually in responding to my fans instead of tossing and turning like she was. And honestly, what she considered flirting, I considered being friendly - personable. I mean, it was the exact type of shit she encouraged early on since making fans feel special kept them connected.
So with another sigh, I reminded her, “Jayla, you’re the one who told me to do this; that I was made for it. And now you’re buggin’ cause the shit is really working? Cause I’m actually staying engaged with the audience who’s keeping the money rolling in for the both of us? You know how it is.”
“I know how it is as your business partner. But as someone you call yourself pursuing? As the person you claim you want more from? I don’t know shit,” she snapped, only making me shake my head as I tossed my locs back and muttered to myself, “So maybe this personal shit is becoming a little too much right now.”
I wasn’t even sure if she realized she had asked, “What?” out loud. But now that I knew she had heard me, it only felt right for me to give her a full explanation, grabbing her hand and looking her straight in the eyes when I expressed, “I need this money, Jayla. I’m on unpaid leave from my job right now on some stupid shit, so I really can’t fuck this opportunity up. Not for anything.”
Considering my struggle situations from the past, there was no way in hell I was risking falling right back to square one. But instead of offering any bit of understanding, her hand only went stiff in my hold. “So what are you saying?”
“I’m saying… if this personal shit is gonna be causing a rift in the business like this, then maybe we should cool it for a bit. Keep it strictly professional until we’re ready to figure things out on this side,” I told her, the words feeling weird coming from my mouth since the personal side was all I really wanted.
She was all I really wanted.
But if taking a little break from that to regroup was the move that ensured we’d be able to find our way back to a better space and keep our business shit solid, I was willing to do whatever it took.
Except, I had apparently gotten it all wrong.
Jayla popped up from the bed in a fury, snatching last night’s dress from the foot of the bed before exchanging it with her robe as she rattled, “You know what? Maybe the business is too much too. Maybe I should just… give you to one of my colleagues. Since I’m suddenly fucking up your opportunities.”
My face twisted instantly. “What? You know I didn’t mean it like that, Jayla.”
She stopped just long enough to say, “The personal shit is going to mess up the business, and I’m the personal shit. Sounds like that’s exactly what you meant, Khalid.” Then she went back to gathering her things, stuffing most of it into her purse as she added, “You really tried to cape like you’re so different, like you weren’t him, yet you’re steady putting up all the same damn red flags. And you know what? I’m not ignoring them this time. I’m no one’s fool anymore.”
“Jayla, wait…” I called after her, but she was already headed out of the door. And when she stopped in the middle of the hallway, I became a little hopeful until she didn’t even turn around to say, “Have a safe trip back, Khalid. One of my associates will contact you first thing on Monday.” Then she continued toward the elevator, my heart telling me to go after her, but my feet feeling like cement blocks as I wondered, “What the hell just happened?”
How was it even possible for us to go from what felt like a beef, to being boo’d up in the club, to fuckin’ like we had a point to make, to arguing about Shawnie of all people, and now to this? To nothing? All within the span of twenty-four hours?
And God forbid we take a look at the seventy-two-hour rollercoaster…
Shit was a mess all-around. And while I really wasn’t in a rush to get back home now that I wasn’t sure what I was even going home to, the noon check-out time really left me no choice, the decision to drive instead of fly paying off since it gave me some extra time to think. But when I stopped at the gas station for some snacks and took a quick glance at social media, my thoughts turned to guilt once I saw Jayla’s Instagram story post of her in the airport with the caption, “Catch flights. Not feelings.”
Damn.
I really fucked this up.
The drive home was somber as hell, not even a fire playlist able to break up any of the turmoil I felt internally. And honestly, it only made me think about Jayla even harder, think back on the first time I had let her get the aux cord after our little roller skating date.
When things were good.
We had come so far since then, I had fallen for her so fast, and now we had… nothing. All because of some terrible misunderstandings and my trash ass circumstances.
Unfortunately, I didn’t get a chance to implement any real solutions since Shaq was already waiting on my porch when I pulled up. How he knew when I was coming back, I wasn’t sure. But I quickly learned he had been sitting out here much longer than I thought according to the stench that blew my way once he stood up to ask, “No security detail? No paparazzi? What the hell kinda Z-list celebrity are you?”
Rolling my eyes, I ignored his questions to ask one of my own. “How long have you been sitting out here, man?”
With a wave of his hand, he insisted, “Ahh, don’t even worry about it, cuz. I was just out here practicing for when I submit my audition tape for that show, Naked and Afraid.”
My face scrunched with confusion since for one, this wasn’t the wilderness. For two, black people didn’t really fuck with shows like that no matter how much money they got paid to do it. And for three, “But you’re not even naked.”
“Baby steps, man. I’m training my way up to that,” he explained as I unlocked the front door, tempted to tell him he had to go wash up with the hose out back before he could come inside.
But instead, I just directed him straight to the bathroom while asking, “Why are you even here? I’m surprised you aren’t at Mila’s.”
Shaking his head, his voice took a melancholy tone when he replied, “Nah, man. She’s a little upset with me right now.”
“Damn. You too?” was what I thought. But considering I wasn’t ready to go into details about my similar situation with her big sister, I decided to wait until he got finished getting cleaned up to ask what happened, instead giving him the supplies he needed for a good scrub. And when he went to grab one of the good towels I kept for Jayla, I was quick to exchange it with a second-tier one I wouldn’t mind throwing away when he was done, almost as if I was hopeful she’d actually be back to use it again.
While Shaq showered, I made myself busy unpacking, the pants from the night before only reminding me of how Jayla had yanked me out of them. And even after I tossed them in the laundry basket, I couldn’t shake the memories, wondering if they’d be the last ones we ever made together.
Shaq’s return from the shower was right on time, his towel thankfully wrapped around his waist as I tossed him some fresh clothes to put on. And as he started getting dressed in the closet, I finally asked, “Aight. So what happened with you and Mila?”
Returning from the closet, he plopped down on the bed and started, “Man, listen. She asked me to go to dinner with her and her mom’s, right? But really, I think she just wanted me to supply the weed we smoked beforehand. Not that I’m trippin’. I mean, I’m a team player and I contribute where I can. But that dinner shit got wild outta hand real quick. Like, your girl Jayla was there, and her and her mom were just… you could tell there was some tension. I mean, I was high as shit and I could still feel the bad energy, so it had to be potent as hell.”
An actual sit-down dinner being involved was news to me, the thing I could pretty much assume Jayla hadn’t wanted to talk about. And it made sense once Shaq continued, “Anyway. Jayla’s ex-husband showed up to the dinner, and she went off. Like, I ain’t never seen that side of her, and it might’ve turned me on a little bit.”
“Come on, man,” I interrupted, shoving him in the shoulder as he gave a little laugh.
“What? I’m just being honest. And that’s not even the point to this story, so let me continue.”
I gave him the nod to do just that, listening intently when he started back up. “After the dinner, Mila and I went back to her spot and did our usual chill and smoke shit. Fucked around a little bit, and I stayed the night.”
“Man, just get to the point,” I urged, none of these details sounding like it had anything to do with their fight.
Still, Shaq insisted, “It’s coming, it’s coming.” before continuing on to explain, “So I wanted to wake and bake the next morning. You know, start my day off on the right foot. And I might’ve, accidentally burned a hole in her new couch when I sparked up.”
He rushed that last part out on purpose since he already knew what my reaction would be. “You did, what?”
That melancholy tone returned when he said, “I know, I know. And I tried to hide it under her little throw pillows and shit, but she found out anyway and went ape shit. So I’ve been here ever since.”
“Wait. So you slept here, outside, overnight?” I asked, wanting to laugh while also trying to figure out why he wouldn’t have just gotten a hotel. I mean, his pockets might’ve been thin, but he wasn’t that damn broke.
Of course he tried to play it off when he replied, “Man, I already told you what I’m on now. Gotta get used to the elements if I expect to last the twenty-one days.”
I could only shake my head as I asked, “So, now what? What are you gonna do? Buy her a new couch?”
“Hell nah. The burn wasn’t even that big. I’ll just... buy her a patch of fabric to cover that shit up. I mean, it’s the thought that counts, right?”
His question was plain enough, but it made me think about my own circumstances; how I had tried to use a patch of an excuse that we should stick to business because of my job situation to cover up the bigger picture that I was wrong in texting Shawnie back that late at night and replying to those girls on Instagram in the wee hours of the morning. I knew Jayla’s outlook, knew she had trust issues, and honestly, even without the trust issues it still wasn’t right for the simple fact that it had obviously made her uncomfortable.
She was trying to express that and I just tried to make myself right, throwing the fact that she still hadn’t committed to anything regarding us in her face as if I didn’t understand what she was up against. And now that I had knowledge of her little dinner from hell, it only made me feel especially selfish for trying to force my hand right after she had dealt with something so… traumatic.
It also made her little surprise trip to see me make sense.
Even if I had caught the stray bullet of her being upset after dealing with her ex and her mother, she had still shown up to redeem herself, had made an effort to show me how she felt about me regardless of the words we had put to it. And while it had all been confusing then, it was clear now.
I had fucked up big time.
&
Monday morning came quick, and the call from one of Jayla’s associates came even quicker.
The whole thing felt weird since it was my first time talking to someone other than Jayla about my influencer career, Carl’s exaggerated enthusiasm about meeting with me over coffee as soon as possible only making me appreciate Jayla’s suave demeanor even more. And when I finally showed up to the coffee shop, I already had a feeling shit wasn’t going to work out between us, Carl’s greasy, shark-like vibe completely rubbing me the wrong way the second he shook my hand.
Still, I tried to give him a chance, paying decent attention as he listed all the different ideas he had for me moving forward and the various companies he saw me working with. But even with that, there was an obvious disconnect since Carl really had no idea who I was and what I stood for, had no idea of my interests nor the fact that I operated with morality.
He just… wasn’t Jayla.
In the middle of one of his spiels, I interrupted to ask, “What all did Ms. Mitchell tell you about me?”
It wasn’t that I needed the ego stroke. I was simply interested to know what it was she had shared that made him think he was equipped to take me on as a client. And for whatever reason, his face immediately flushed red when he answered, “Well… she wasn’t in the office today, so I haven’t gotten the chance to really speak to her. But when she put your file up for grabs, I was the first to snatch it after seeing how quickly your brand has grown in such a short period of time.”
The knowledge of Jayla not showing up to work was a surprise since it had been a struggle to get her to take a day off just last week. So for her to have taken two off in a row meant… something. A something I couldn’t acknowledge quite yet since I was still busy applying a little pressure to Carl’s ass when I followed up by asking, “So I was just, what? Some sort of cash cow to you?”
His face only turned redder. “What? No. I mean, yes you are one of the stronger clients on our companies roster, but I really see your potential, Mr. Irving.”
His use of, “Mr. Irving” only made me chuckle since it was obvious he was just trying to get on my good side. But before I could call him out on it, my phone began to vibrate on the table we were sharing, the unsaved number recognizable enough to tell Carl, “I need to take this.”
He gave a nod of approval as if I was asking him instead of telling just as I peeled myself from the chair. And while I considered stepping out of the coffee shop to take the call and never coming back, I knew I didn’t want to completely ruin my reputation by being a straight up asshole.
The way I had with Jayla.
Shaking my head, I finally clicked to answer the call. And I barely got my, “Hello” out before the person on the other end was already shouting, “Khalid! Hey, bud. It’s me. Mike.”
“As if I wouldn’t have recognized that damn goofy ass voice otherwise,” I thought, glancing across the street to find a black man and his son headed into what looked like a barbershop.
I had never noticed it before, probably because the only time I got clippers put to my head was for an every once in a while line-up from a shop closer to my house. But for some reason, I couldn’t take my eyes off the building, not even when Mike said, “Khalid? You there, bud?”
“Yeah, yeah. I’m here. What’s up, Mike?” I asked, watching as another man came out of the shop with his swag turnt all the way up, clearly feeling like new money. It was the same feeling I used to get from a fresh retwist until Londyn moved away. And even though she had touched me up over the weekend, my locs were still beginning to feel… different.
“So you remember last time I called, I had bad news, right?" Mike asked, interrupting my thoughts as he continued, “But this time, I have great news. I was able to get your case expedited to the first one on the company’s desk this morning.”
My first thought was, “Damn. His wife must’ve really been on him about that cereal”. But my second one, I voiced out loud. “That is good news.”
“But it’s not even the best part. Are you ready for it? Tell me you’re ready for it.”
Since it was a good news call, I couldn’t help but chuckle a little bit when I told him, “Mike, come on with this goofy shit, man. Just get to the point.”
“So… after explaining to them that you were one of our best employees, and that the nut job who started to key one of the cars in the parking lot before they realized they had spelled their message wrong was just some recently-divorced loser trying to get revenge, they decided to drop the case entirely. You can return to work tomorrow!”
He shouted it like he was the host on a game show, or like he was Oprah giving away those damn cars, something that might’ve annoyed me had he not been telling me exactly what I wanted to hear. But he was, so after swiping a hand down my mouth to regroup, I finally replied, “Wow. That’s… incredible. I really appreciate that, man.”
Somehow, I could feel his pride through the phone, imagining the goofy smirk he wore to match. And after a moment had passed, I thought back on the second part of his news, tempted to jump to an obvious conclusion, but deciding to just flat out ask instead, “Do you know anything more about the guy who did it?”
His signature nasally sigh was back as he explained, “Well, we didn’t get a good view of his face on the camera, but we were able to catch the moment he fled the scene in what turned out to be a rental car. It was returned that same night, but linked to someone named Jason Anthony. And the only Anthony we had registered in the building’s database was a Jayla Anthony, which was recently changed back to Jayla Mitchell. Her maiden name.”
“Right, right. I think I know who that is,” I told him with a nod he couldn’t see, trying to hold in my real feelings about it all since I didn’t need Mike in my business. But knowing the kind of shit Jason had put Jayla through pre-divorce, and the fact that his trash ass had the nerve to show up to dinner after all this went down, had my blood boiling like no other.
“I know that nigga have better left town for good,” I thought as Mike continued, “But get this? Not only was his message misspelled, but he was also keying the wrong car! The car he vandalized wasn’t the one we have registered to her name, and he wasn’t even smart enough to recognize it. Like, no wonder they’re divorced!”
The laugh he let out straight into the phone just about filled my Mike-quota for the day as I replied, “Sounds like a real idiot.”
“Real idiot, indeed,” Mike agreed. Then his voice took a surprisingly normal tone when he added, “But hey, man. We’ll see you here tomorrow night, alright?”
“And I’ll be sure to bring a few boxes of that cereal and some coupons for you, big homie.”
It was really a no-brainer to hook Mike up after the work he had put in on my behalf. But I almost wanted to take my offer back once he squealed into the phone, “You will?!”
Instead, I laughed him off as I answered, “Yeah, man. I gave you my word, didn’t I? You really helped me out here, so I got you.”
“Aww thanks, bud. I’d do it again in a heartbeat,” he insisted, only making me laugh again since I knew he really meant, “I’d do it again for more cereal for my wife.”
I didn’t bother teasing him about it, instead telling him, “I’ll see y’all tomorrow,” before ending the call. And after another quick peek at the barbershop, I made my way back inside to find Carl looking stressed as hell until he saw me coming and straightened up his posture.
“Hey, Mr. Irving. Is everything alright?” he asked once I joined him back at the table.
While everything was definitely on the up-and-up overall, I knew things with him were as good as over with now that I officially had my job back. So I tried to put it to him lightly when I answered, “Look, man. I’ma be real with you. I’m sure you’d be the perfect fit for someone, but there’s only one person in this industry who’s the right fit for me if I continue doing this.”
It wasn’t that I didn’t enjoy doing the whole social media influencer thing. But without Jayla involved, none of it felt nearly as fulfilling. I mean, being able to work with her, and be witness to her greatness, was what really made it fun for me. And it was clear I wasn’t the only admirer of her expertise considering the heavy sigh Carl let out before admitting, “Ms. Mitchell is one of the best.”
I was quick to correct, “Nah, she is the best. Top two and she ain’t number two, you feel me?”
I could tell my use of Queen Bey’s flow had gone straight over Carl’s head, though he still gave me a nod to express, “Understood, Mr. Irving.” Then he waved a hand towards the food counter while asking, “Can I get you another coffee to thank you for your time? Maybe a pastry?”
Hopping up from my seat, I replied, “Nah, I got some other stuff I need to go take care of. But I do appreciate the offer and the chat.”
He gave another nod before standing up and extending his hand to me for a shake. And now that I had sealed things up with him, it was time for me to go handle my next order of business in going to see about Jayla.
But first, I had a stop to make.