CHAPTER NINE
CHERRY
I slam the door to what was once mine and Lip’s room. The impact from the door closing rattles the bottles of beer and perfume on the dresser. I sink down to the floor, my hands tangling in my hair in my moment of distress.
“How can this be? How could this have happened?” I cry. This nightmare of horror is enveloping me. The scythe the Devil himself used to tear my heart from my chest made it so painful the depths of my wellbeing may never be the same again. My bottom lip trembles with the thought of being deceived for so many years. I fell in love with Lip, shared things with him I never have with anyone else. I close my eyes and tears slip down my cheeks.
I knew Lip was hiding something. I fucking knew it. I just didn’t suspect it ‘til recently, when his mask of Prince Charming started slipping. Funny thing is I preferred the fucked-up, kinky Lip over that bullshit fake Lip he was before. I guess because I always knew deep down he was more than he let on, that he was capable of causing mayhem.
I form fists in my anger. I was so stupid to think some guy off the side of the road would just fall in love with me and invite me into his family as easy as Lip did. I was naive enough to lift my walls, to trust again. I let my wings out and flew with the wind, only that wind turned into a hostile storm and I got swept up in its gust before I knew what was happening.
“Fucking asshole!” I scream. I keep screaming, so loud my throat burns, but I don’t stop. I continue to shout, demanding this hurt buried deep inside to leave at once.
I stand on wobbly legs, my voice nearly gone and my throat feeling like I swallowed razor blades. I swipe my arms along the dresser in a fit of rage. One by one, the empty bottles, clothes, and cosmetics go flying across the room.
“Lying son of a bitch!” I shout with my now-raspy voice, gripping the half-naked chick poster hanging on the wall and ripping it down. I grab every picture of slutty twat waffles hanging on the walls and tear them down the middle.
“I hate you! I hate you!” I cry, pulling the blankets and sheets off the bed. The bed that Lip and I fucked in—or what I thought was making love—many times before.
The sheets tangle around my arms, halting me from tearing the mattress onto the floor. How fitting—soft sheets that portray comfort and solace trapping me in a strong hold. I turn and twist, trying to break free, but I fall to the floor in a heap of fabric.
My fury and anger smothered with blankets cocooning me, my emotions spring through me with such a force nothing escapes but a stream of tears and gasping.
Six years of lies. Six years of deceit. Six years of false emotion and underlying secrets. I don’t see us ever coming back from this.
***
“Cherry?” I slowly open my eyes, seeing nothing but the gray sheets. I eventually gave in to my feelings and covered my head with the sheets, crying it all out on the shitty floor. I must have fallen asleep.
“Cherry, babe?” It’s Dani.
“What?” I croak, my throat feeling like raw hamburger. My eyes burn and feel swollen from crying so hard, and my throat is scratchy from screaming and yelling. I feel worn out… used.
The sheets tug upward and the lights from above beam with such a force I wince and turn my head away.
“Damn, girlie,” Dani whispers, her face conveying sympathy. I hold my hand up, stopping her.
“Don’t. I don’t need that shit. Just go,” I demand, pointing at the door, not looking at her. I am not the weak one. I don’t cry and I don’t have relationship problems. Yet here I am with all of the above. I don’t need someone to judge me, or to feel sorry for me. I just want to be left the hell alone.
“Don’t give me that shit. Sit up. I got a cold soda and some music.” Dani grabs my arm and pulls me upward.
“Anyone ever tell you you’re a pain in the ass?” I mutter, sitting upright. I push my back against the dresser and squint at her. She’s beautiful—long dark hair, green eyes, and a red slinky top with black shorts. You’d never guess she had two kids with the figure on her.
“Yeah, Shadow tells me all the time.” She laughs and I close my eyes. I seriously don’t want to think about men right now. “Shadow told me what happened. I’m sorry, Cherry. I’d kick Lip’s ass if it’d make you feel any better, but I know it won’t.” She slides down, sitting directly in front of me. She leans her back against the bed and tosses a soda can between her legs toward me.
“The joke’s on me ‘cause I really love Lip. Dark, light, all of his shades,” I scoff and grab the soda. Anger is slowly replacing my sorrow, but not fast enough.
“I hear you weren’t very honest with him, either.”
My eyes snap to hers and she raises a brow, waiting for an explanation. Instead, I pop the top to the soda can and let the fizzy cool contents slip down my sore throat.
“Seriously, Cherry, how could you not tell me you had a kid?” she continues. I set the soda down and pin her with a serious glare.
“I wasn’t really in the position to tell anyone, Dani. I wasn’t a mother. I had my rights taken from me. I saw Piper in the mornings when I could, and I had to be very careful about it. I had very dangerous men after me. I couldn’t risk it.” Lowering my gaze, I finger the soda top.
“Piper, that’s a cute name.”
I smile, and then tears prick my burning eyes. “Oh, Cherry,” Dani’s voice is laced with sympathy. She slides across the floor and embraces me in a warm hug. “It’s all right,” she whispers into my hair. I slowly push her off me and wipe under my eyes. I have to keep my chin up, got to stop this pity me bullshit.
“I’m fine. Really, I’ll be okay,” I reassure her. I think a piece of me knew there was more to Lip, a darker, more devious side. An inner beast that was lurking within the depths of his eyes, or the growl in his tone when he was angered. It was always there. I just refused to acknowledge it. I was too set on finding someone that was kind and gentle, making me feel like a fucking princess after Eric killed me emotionally. Now it’s time to suck it up, and face the beast that I’m in love with.
“You know I have your back, right?” My teary eyes find hers and my bottom lip shakes with the urge to just bawl.
“How? I’m not an ol’ lady. I’m not a part of this club. Lip didn’t want me here, Dani!” My voice begins to rise and Dani just shakes her head, a small laugh lifting from within her chest.
“It doesn’t really matter what Lip wanted. My dad gave you that property patch, right?” I nod, not sure what she’s getting at.
“My dad patched you in. He wanted you as family, and he made you one of us. You can tear off ‘Lip’s Property’, but that Devil’s Dust rocker? That’s no lie. You’re my sister through and through.” She gives a tight-lipped smile. My heart pains, not with one of heartache, but one with love and adoration toward Dani. She’s strong, she’s beautiful, and she’s the best damn sister I could ever ask for.
She stands and when I look up, I see a black iPod in my line of sight.
“What’s this?” I ask, taking it from her.
“It’s mine. I listen to it a lot when I’m in a mood or need my emotions sorted out. Or when I don’t know how to feel—the music does it for me.”
I nod. “Thank you, Dani.” I whisper.
“I gotta get back in there. Zane is probably raising hell with Bobby right now. Keep your chin up, Cherry.”
I stand on tired legs and grab the sheets.
“Oh, and Cherry?” I turn, finding Dani halfway out the bedroom door.
“Yeah?”
“If you really love Lip, make him hurt. Show him what he’s giving up.” She smirks and shuts the door. I furrow my brows, not sure if I want Lip or not. A piece inside of me still does, but my mind is confused on whether it would be smart to forgive him.
I remake the bed and take off my bra and shorts. I’m so tired all I want to do is climb in this bed and sleep. Just listen to music and sleep my way through this lockdown. I flip the lights off and put the ear buds in. The song “Locked Away” by R.City plays. I arch a brow, unsure of the song at first. I’ve never heard it before. As the lyrics continue, they speak right to my soul, telling my life story. A tear slips from my tired eyes as the song serenades me through reality and emotions I’m trying to deny. The fact that I’ve wanted nothing but to be there for Lip, and yet here I am, turning my back on him, not listening to a word he’s saying. The song guides me through emotions and feelings I can’t sort or explain, until my senses are drowned with sleep.
***
The bed dips, the feeling of warmth slips over me, and the smell of fresh mint wafts around me. Lip. I turn onto my belly and look over, finding Lip getting comfy right next to me in the bed. Has he lost his mind?
“I’m sorry, are you lost?” I ask, my voice muffled with sleep. The ride of self-pity is over, and now I’m pissed. I’m fucking angry and really just want to deck Lip in his face.
Lip rests his head on the back of his hands and looks up at the ceiling. “There is nowhere else for me to sleep. The club is packed, Cherry,” he explains, sounding irritated, like he’s talking down to me. It grates on my nerves.
I push myself up with my arms, grab his pillow from under him and throw it on the floor.
“What the fuck?” He leans over to grab his pillow, and I quickly shove my feet in his back and push his ass off the bed. He lands with a loud thump, and I move over into the middle of the bed.
“You like to lie so much, why don’t you sleep with the rug, baby,” I suggest in the most condescending voice I can muster.
He pulls himself up off the floor and stands. I can’t see him because it’s so dark, but I can tell his arms and chest are puffed out and outlined with anger. He’s pissed, and no doubt pinning me with the most furious stare. Good.
“Maybe you forgot, with your nose so stuck up in the air, but you fucking lied to me, too, princess. So, why don’t you lie on the floor with me?” He grabs the mattress and in one swift movement pulls it off the box spring, and I land with a thump.
My mouth pops open with shock. Lip grabs his pillow and fluffs it before lying on the floor next to the mattress.
“There, now we’re even. Two liars, side by side.” He sniffs. “We’re equal.”
My eyebrows pull together, and my fingers dig into the mattress. “Yes. I lied to you, Lip, but I had no choice!” I shout.
Lip sits up and leans in, his face nearly touching mine. “Neither did I!” he shouts right back.
We sit like that, nose to nose, our breaths angry and hostile but in sync with each other. I’ve never seen Lip so angry, so furious. Before he was locked up, if someone disagreed with him, he’d look at me and brush the other person off. I used to think he was just down to earth and didn’t sweat the small stuff. I didn’t know he was just being a fake.
I pull away first and lie down, my back facing him.
***
The sound of yelling and stomping in the hallway wakes me from my sleep. I slowly peel my eyes open and find myself hanging halfway off the mattress. I raise my hand to wipe the sleep from my eyes, finding Lip’s hand entwined with mine. My palm is warm and sweaty, and he’s as close to the mattress as he can get. His eyes pop open and quickly find me raising our joined palms.
“Shit,” he whispers, snatching his hand from mine. I shove my sweaty palm to my chest and look away.
“Jesus, what the hell is going on out there?” Lip questions, looking at our closed door.
“I’m not sure. It woke me up, too,” I mutter. Lip sits up and hikes his knees, resting his elbows on them before swiping his fingers into his messy hair. My thighs clench; God, I love it when he does that. I close my eyes and shake my head. No, don’t react to him.
“I’ll go get us some breakfast,” he insists, standing.
“I can’t eat,” I state. My stomach is still in knots from everything, and the sound of food isn’t appealing. Lip arches a brow as he shoves his legs into some jeans.
“You should eat something,” he insists. I scoff and tilt my head to the side.
“Screw you,” I snide.
“Whatever, starve. That’ll really show me,” he mutters, grabbing his shirt off the floor and slamming the door behind him.
I flex my fingers and grit my teeth.
“Gah!” I scream. This man fucking infuriates me!
Who grabbed whose hand last night when we were sleeping, me or him? I shake my head and stand to find some clothes. It doesn’t matter. I need to focus on getting out of here and figuring out a way to get my daughter back. Those are my top priorities right now.
LIP
I stride down the hallway, the smell of eggs wafting throughout the club. Hopefully, the ladies got together and made the whole club breakfast and not just their kids.
“Give that back!” Addie shouts, chasing Zane down the hallway. I jump out of the way as the two sprint through. Addie is Doc’s kid, and Zane is Shadow and Dani’s. I don’t know how old they are. Zane is small, and Addie is bigger. I don’t do well with kids. I think it goes back to my childhood or some shit. Or that’s what the shrinks in prison said, anyway. My dad was a tough ol’ man and made my life a living hell. He called me a pussy, told me I should have come out of my mom sprouting a vagina instead of balls.
“Phillip, you better hit that damn baseball like a DeLuca!” my father shouted from the stands. I swallowed hard and pulled the rim of my baseball cap down. My father looked huge sitting in the bleachers with the rest of the parents. He had on blue jeans and a white fitted shirt that covered his strong torso firmly, and of course he had on his leather cut, displaying that he was an Outlaw to everyone sitting in the bleachers. The president of the Sin City Outlaws motorcycle club, to be exact. My father shoved his boot onto the seat in front of him and gave a firm nod, his tanned Italian skin shining with the sweat the sun caused. I took a big breath and turned on the base to face the pitcher, determined to hit this fucking ball into the next field. I was going to prove to my father I was worth a damn, that I wasn’t the son he was ashamed of. My brother Zeek was my father’s pride and joy, always getting into trouble and getting caught in the traps of the law. My dad wanted me to be just like my brother, but I’m going to show my dad that I can shine in a way that doesn’t involve criminal activity.
The pitcher looked behind him at his other teammates before looking back toward me, a sly smirk across his face. Tommy Ricci. My father told me plenty of times how I needed to hang out with Tommy, let him rub off on me, that I could learn a thing two from him. But Tommy’s just a punk. He’s mean to the girls, and a fucking ass-wipe to those who call him a friend. He steals, too; I caught him stealing from our teacher’s purse the other day. I, of course, didn’t say anything. I’m starting to think my father wants me to be bad, that it would make him love me more.
Tommy threw the ball, and I swung.
“Strike one!” Shit. I hit the baseball bat on the base and gripped the wooden bat. Tommy chuckled and threw the ball again. Another strike.
“Come on, boy,” my father sounded from behind me, his tone laced with humiliation.
Tommy lowered his head, his eyes digging into my insecurities. He threw the ball, and I closed my eyes and swung again.
“Strike three! You’re outta there!”
Fuck. I just let the other team win.
“Great job, Phillip,” one of my teammates slammed into my shoulder leaving the field. I dropped the bat and slowly turned, finding a fuming father. I strode off the field, and my father rose from the bleachers. He unfolded his large frame from them and stood above me. I shrank in his shadow. He gripped the back of my shirt and dragged me to the car.
“You are a disgrace to the DeLuca name. You don’t get your sense of failure from me, that’s for sure.” He tugged on my shirt and pushed me into the car. “You don’t even look Italian, for Christ’s sake.” He lowered his head and shook it, his boot kicking the rocks at his feet. I crossed my arms and tried my hardest not to cry in front of all the other kids and parents. Being ten years old was a tough age as it was, but having my father breathing down my neck was even harder.
“Let’s go, Phillip. See about getting you into some fucking ballet classes or something.”
Screaming snaps me out of my childhood memory, and I continue toward the kitchen. I rub my eyes, burning from lack of sleep. I couldn’t stop watching Cherry last night. She’s fucking beautiful. There is something about being free from the lies that I had to live with so long, being let go from the pressure the club bestowed on me. I see Cherry in a whole other light. She fucking lied about having a kid; her defiance turns me on, yet pisses me off. I love how wild she is, how broken and against the wind she can be. It keeps me on my toes. I need a girl who stays interesting, who can bust my balls. It makes me want to tame her and stand proud that she’s mine. I tug my bottom lip between my teeth. It doesn’t make me less angry about her lying, though.
Addie runs into the kitchen, slamming the door into the wall.
“Jesus!” I yell as Zane shoves me out of the way.
“Welcome to breakfast,” Tom Cat states, thrusting a paper plate of scrambled eggs into my chest. I take hold of the plate and shake my head.
Dani shifts in her seat, bouncing her newest baby Delilah on her hip.
“Damn it, Zane, I said to stop chasing her!” Dani parents.
“He’s fine, Dani. He’s just being a kid,” Bull interjects, shoving a pile of eggs into his mouth.
“Ya know, I thought we were bad-ass bikers. When did this place turn into a playpen?” Tom Cat mutters.
The door slams open and Cherry walks in. The sight of her makes me choke on an egg. She’s wearing a black ripped-up tank top, her breasts nearly popping out, and some blue jean shorts that used to be jeans, frays and strings hanging out along her freckled skin.
“You all right there?” Tom Cat questions, slapping my back. I pound on my chest and take a deep breath to clear my air pipe.
“Yeah,” I croak. Watching Cherry’s ass as she walks to the stove, I have to turn and face the wall. My dick is growing at a fast rate inside my pants, and has no signs of dissipating. Her throwing a wall between us makes her that much more tempting. She’s like the forbidden fruit of the MC garden, and I want it. I want to break every rule, give into temptation and damn the consequences just so I can have her one last time. I want her without knowing in my head she’s a job. Just her and me, no lies between us. I want to explore the feelings I have slicing into my chest like a searing knife.
“Boys, let’s get to the chapel and work out this mess, shall we?” Bull stands from the table and wipes his mouth with a napkin.
“Shouldn’t I come?” Cherry asks.
“Nah, not right now, darling. Let us figure shit out first.”
“I want my daughter, Bull,” Cherry blurts. My dick just took a nosedive, the reminder of her lying to me a complete turn-off. I bite my lip with anger. I never thought she would lie to me, that she could be so manipulative, and that pisses me the fuck off. I became a pussy, and I let my guard down. Bull told me to be that fucking Prince Charming, and I did, for a while. But when I got out of prison, seeing Cherry standing tall to be my woman, I just couldn’t hold up the act anymore. I wanted her to know the real me.
“First order of business: Cherry and this fucking mess,” Bull states on an exhale. “If any of you are lost, here are the facts. Cherry got herself in a mess with Judge Calhoun, and he came to us to take care of it. I made Lip the distraction, and kept her in line. But apparently, our beloved Cherry has not been so honest with everyone. She was supposed to be gone, dealt with. But now they know she’s here and a problem, and now it’s our problem.” Bull clears up the confusion.
“I’m sorry, maybe I’m just the morbid one here, but why didn’t we just kill her ass or pay her off to go somewhere when this shit happened?” Old Guy questions. I grit my teeth at his boldness.
“Well, we were going to, but I know Cherry from when she was a baby.” Bull shakes his head. “I couldn’t kill her, or put her out there knowing she’d be killed, so I made the call and kept her under radar. So, now that we’re all up to speed, they know we didn’t kill her, and they’re going to come here with retribution.”
“What a fucking mess, man,” Bobby mutters, running his hands through his hair.
“I agree,” I throw in.
“Shadow, find this boyfriend, or baby daddy, whatever the fuck he is today. Find out what he knows, and who is after her exactly,” Bull orders.
“You got it.” Shadow nods.
“I’m coming with,” I state.
“No!” Bull points at me.
“What the fuck you mean ‘no’?” My nostrils flare with anger.
“You’re too distracted, and I don’t need fuck-ups,” Bull explains.
“I’m not distracted,” I scoff.
“I disagree, son. If you would’ve left the table last night and pounded your frustration out on some young piece of tail, maybe. But when I offered my room to you last night, or even a fucking cot in the main room, you turned both down to be with her in your room.” He points at me with a steady finger. “That is fucking distracted.”
“Agreed.” Shadow laughs, and I narrow my brows and level him with a ‘shut the fuck up’ look.
“You stay, Lip.” Bull slams the gavel down. I flex my hands in irritation.
I’m so fucking confused and angry. I hate Cherry. I want Cherry. I want to hurt her and fuck her. I’m a complete fucking mess.
I used to blame the job on my confused feelings. I tried to build a barrier of what was real and what was fake, but that dam I built of guarded emotions soon begin to crack, my affection and desire to care for her splintering through the wall that held me together. Now that the mission has been lifted, I can feel those small cracks spidering into something unstoppable. I care for Cherry, whether I want to admit it or not. She’s mine, and I’ll kill any motherfucker who tries to step in front of that.
CHERRY
I place my empty plate into the sink and head back to the bedroom. I ate some, but I just don’t have an appetite. I feel like everyone is staring at me. A shiver runs up my spine with the sudden unease. Everyone knows I was just a job to Lip. They’re probably thinking, “That poor girl. She went and fell in love with him, and none of it’s even real.”
I slam the door behind me and grab the mattress, shoving with all my might to put it back on the box springs. After finally getting it in place, I crawl onto the bed. My eyes prick with the urge to cry. I inhale a steady breath through my nose and close my eyes. I will not cry. I will not cry.
The way Lip acted as if everything was just a job conflicts with my heart. I swore he loved me, the way he looked at me when we were together said so. The way he cared so much about my wellbeing, that couldn’t have all been because of him being ordered to take care of me… was it?
A small knock sounds at the door. I roll my eyes and sit up, folding my legs under me Indian-style.
“What?” I snap.
Dani steps in with Delilah, her youngest, on her hip, Doc following closely behind her.
“You all right?” Dani asks, sitting on the bed. She flips her hair over her shoulder and pins me with sad green eyes. I tear my gaze from hers and look at Delilah, who’s picking up a ripped-up poster piece.
“Shit, Delilah, no,” Dani scolds, grabbing hold of the poster.
Doc takes Dani’s place on the bed and reaches for my face. She takes hold of my chin and turns my head slightly, looking over the stitches in my eyebrow.
“How do they feel?” she questions, trailing her manicured finger over them.
I shrug. “Okay, I guess. They itch some,” I reply.
“Yeah, try some Vaseline. I’m sure with all these horny men around here, you can find some.” She smiles, and I can’t help but laugh.
“Are you going to hide in here the whole lockdown?” Dani spits, holding Delilah on her hip.
“Wow, to the point, huh?” I chuckle.
“Well, I mean, it’s no secret you’re avoiding everyone.” Dani laughs and my cheeks warm with humiliation.
“Ease up, Dani; I don’t blame her. This club…” Doc shakes her head. “Let’s just say, it can be unconventional sometimes. That order your dad gave Lip was fucked-up and you know it.” Doc looks over her shoulder and furrows her brows at Dani.
“No, I agree it was. But it’s what had to be done.” Dani shrugs. The depth of her loyalty to this club is something I envy. No matter how wrong The Devil’s Dust can be, she always has their back.
“Regardless, Cherry is a human. She has feelings. Lip could have been a little less, I don’t know, personal about the whole thing.” Doc tilts her head and chews on her bottom lip. “Did he say he loved you? Did he make love to you?”
I turn and look out the window next to the bed. The sky is dark; I wonder if it will storm.
“Well, did he?” Dani questions.
The tears I was trying to hold back fill to the rim of my eyelids and spill over.
“Once, but the way he made love to me before was so intimate, as if he was telling me he loved me through sex. I figured he was just a guy who didn’t do the mushy shit that he conveyed how he felt through his actions.” I fiddle with my fingers. “Lip was very persistent when we met, and came on so strong. He and I were in a wave of lust, in a sea of tangled sheets every other day. Maybe that’s all it was, though—lust. Or maybe I fell in love so quickly I became blind.”
“Ouch. I can’t even imagine,” Doc mutters.
Dani leans in close, placing her hand on my knee. “I love this club. I’ll do anything for this club. But the reason why we came in here was to tell you that you are one of us, through and through. Lip went too far in that- that job. We’ll make his ass pay,” Dani promises.
“Damn straight,” Doc agrees.
I laugh and wipe at my cheeks.
“Thanks, guys, but you’ll probably just make it worse,” I advise.
“Probably,” Dani agrees. “But we’d do it for you.”
“I’m good, but thanks.” I smile.
“You need to find out if you were just business to Lip, or if it was more,” Doc adds. “I see the way he looks at you. He cares about you, Cherry.” I lower my head and bite my bottom lip. I am not sure if I want to know though. I’m scared that I was nothing but a job and Lip was just a really good actor.
“Don’t act like you don’t want to know. You love him, Cherry, and if you walk away without finding out, you’ll always wonder if he really loved you,” Doc tells me. I roll my eyes and pick at the blanket on the bed.
Delilah giggles, and my eyes shoot to the little girl. My heart aches. I want Piper so badly. I just want to hug her, to have her little arms wrap around me and pull this bitterness from me.
“This will all blow over, and before you know it, you’ll have your little girl back and she’ll be here with ours.” Dani smiles, her tone optimistic.
“Yeah, then you can go crazy with us.” Doc laughs.
My heart sinks, my stomach turns, and I feel like I may puke. The thought that I may get my daughter back is too much for me to even handle. I want it. I want it badly. I never thought it was a possibility, though.
The door opens and Tom Cat pokes his head in.
“Dani, Doc, you might want to get in here. Zane got a Hot Wheel stuck in Addie’s hair.” A loud scream sounds from the hallway. “Yeah, she’s pissed. Zane thinks it’s funny, though.” Tom Cat chuckles.
Dani and Doc give each other a knowing look before both hurrying out the bedroom door.
As soon as it shuts, I sigh with relief. I don’t know how many more therapy sessions I can have with those two. They make me… feel. I don’t want to feel. I just want to lose myself into a tomb of darkness, not feeling anything. A tranquility of never-never land. A land where nothing bad ever happens, and the only feeling you experience is numbness.
***
I wake with the sound of thunder and groan. Slowly sitting up on the bed, I see a plate of food next to the door. I missed dinner, or was it lunch? Bringing my knees up, I rest my elbows on them. I survey the room—it’s trashed. I sigh with a sound of dread. Maybe if I clean this place up, it will help the way I feel. I crawl off the bed and kick at some posters. I grab the iPod Dani gave me from the dresser and swipe through the songs, landing on “Look Good For You” by Selena Gomez. My eyes perk with the lyrics, ideas swiping through my mind. As much as I don’t want to care if Lip had any real feelings for me, I know I truly do care for him underneath all my resentment. I bite my fingernail and eye the dresser. I wonder if I walk into the club wearing something so revealing what Lip would do. Would he care, or would he shrug it off now that the orders have been lifted? If he reacts, then I know I was more to him than a job. If he doesn’t do anything then I know my place, and I’ll need to move on as much as it may hurt to do so. But at least I won’t beat myself up thinking what if.
I grab the dresser drawer and start rifling through it, finding a small red dress wadded into a ball in the back. Perfect.
I pull it over my head, the silk material clinging to my thighs. It’s skintight, showing off my curves perfectly. I spot some black heels under the dresser and put them on, too. With all the guys in the club, I can surely get at least one to look with these. If I can make Lip jealous then I know I have some effect on him.
I throw my head over, shuffling my hair, giving it that sexy volume. The door opens and I throw my head back, finding Lip staring right at me. I smirk and run my hands through my hair. Here we go, the truth is about to be revealed.
His nostrils flare, and his hands clench. My heart stammers against my chest, not sure what his reaction means.
“What are you doing?” he asks, his tone of voice low and rough, the sound of it doing things to me.
I shrug, not really sure myself.
He rubs at his chin, his eyes undressing me from head to toe.
“Can I help you with something, Lip?” I cock my head to the side and furrow my brows.
His eyes are hooded, his chest rising and falling rapidly, but he doesn’t respond. Feeling nervous, I pull the dress down some and step toward him.
“Excuse me.” I try to move around him, but he catches my elbow.
“You are not going out there in that.” His eyes narrow as I snatch my elbow from his grip and grimace.
“You don’t get to tell me what to do anymore,” I seethe before walking past him, heading down the hall.
I catch Bobby at the end of the hall, and his mouth pops open. He punches Kane in the arm, not taking his eyes off me, and Kane smirks at me. Before I can take another step, my world goes upside-down and I’m thrown over a broad shoulder. Using my hands, I push myself up to find Lip’s fine ass.
“Lip, put me down!” I shout, but he doesn’t respond.
He struts into our room and slams the door, plopping me down on the bed.
“Take it off, now!” he orders. Looks like I made him jealous.
“Why? Why do you care?” I ask, my fingers digging into the sheets. His face is red, veins popping out on his neck. He looks me over once more then thrusts forward, his hands grabbing the top of the red dress, tearing it right down the center, leaving my bare tits and black thong. He growls in his chest and backs off.
“You’re mine, goddamn it! Mine, whether you wanna be or not!” He shoves his face inches from mine, shouting in my face. I turn my head, looking at the wall. He’s angry—good. Welcome to the club, buddy. He straddles me and pushes his weight onto my torso, pressing me into the mattress firmly. I gasp as his mouth crashes down onto my neck.
“Lip!” I holler, trying to push him off. He sucks hard, causing a sharp pain to rise from my neck. He finally releases his hold on my shoulder, his dark eyes pinning me.
“You pull that shit again, I will throw you over that bar and fuck you in front of every brother in this fucking club,” he threatens. He slowly stands and leaves, slamming the door behind him.
I grit my teeth and scream. Standing from the bed, my tight red dress hangs over me like a robe. I hurry to the bathroom, turn my head to the side and notice the dark hickey on my neck. He claimed me.
I guess that answers that. I wasn’t just a job to him. He does have feelings for me. But can I forgive him for lying? I frown; I lied, too, though. Can we get through our lies?
I change into some ripped jeans and an orange shirt, then set out to tell the girls what just happened. Maybe they can tell me what to do next.
Getting closer to the main area where everyone seems to congregate, I hear yelling and shouting. I follow the noise to outside of the club. The Ghost Riders are here, and are head-to-head with the Devil’s Dust. I cup my mouth, my heart slamming against my chest in fear.
“All I’m saying is he never showed up back at the club, and he was last seen here,” the president, Stunt, points at Bull. Stunt turns his head and lowers it in a menacing way, pinning Lip with a look of death. “And your man here had beef with him for laying hands on his cunt.” I scowl at his insult.
Lip pushes Bobby out of the way and puffs his chest out in that way he does when he’s angry. Stunt’s shoulders rise; they’re nose-to-nose, and my palms are sweating with fear.
“You better watch who the fuck you’re talking to,” Lip threatens. Stunt swiftly darts his hand behind his back and pulls out a black gun. Gasping, I step forward, but Dani quickly grabs me by the shoulder to stop me from going any further.
“I know exactly who the fuck I’m talking to,” Stunt growls, holding the barrel of the gun to Lip’s head.
“Do it. Fucking do it, you pussy,” Lip taunts. A whimper travels up my throat in pure fear. Lip is insane; I’ve never seen him look death in the eye with guns blazing and not give a fuck. He’s always been so careful, and not one to take on a confrontation. But that was before he went away, before the truth that he was just acting like Prince Charming. This is the real Lip. This is who he is. Reckless, no regard to reason. Yet here I am on my tiptoes, ready to run to his defense. I still love him, whether I want to or not.
“Lip!” I cry, trying to get his attention. He slowly turns his head and his hard face softens when he sees me. He looks down, like he’s pained that I’m seeing him like this.
“Look, your man was warned about messing with my property. He hurt her, and I retaliated. I did what I had to, to protect her,” Lip confesses, his attitude of ‘I don’t give a fuck’ gone. My eyes dart toward Stunt, curious if he’ll shoot Lip.
“Come on, Stunt. If anything, this ass-wipe did us a favor,” one of the Ghost Rider members adds.
“Doesn’t matter. He was a brother, have some loyalty,” Stunt snaps.
The guy steps up; he’s shorter and has a big beer gut. “He nearly got me killed after he fucked an ol’ lady from another club, who just happened to be property of a fucking president. He was reckless, he had no loyalty and you know it.” The guy looks at Lip. “Let the boy go and let’s go home.”
Stunt gives Lip a sideways glance as if he’s thinking about it. I survey the Devil’s Dust, noticing Bobby’s hand on his weapon sitting in the back of his jeans, and Bull’s handling his pistol in his holster. They’d go to war with another club to protect Lip. They’re a brotherhood; I envy that about this club. Loyalty is the common DNA that runs in their blood—they all have it.
My hand is grasped by a smaller palm. Looking to my side, Dani gives me a tight-lipped smile and squeezes my hand. She’d have my back no matter what—I know it, and I feel it. I’m family.
“Yeah. Fine, but we ain’t open for business anymore,” Stunt responds, replacing his weapon back in his waistband.
“I think that’s best,” Bull agrees. Everyone seems to relax as the Ghost Riders retreat back to their bikes. Now that the show is over, everyone starts going their separate ways, but I can’t seem to move. My eyes are glued to Lip. He told that guy to kill him, and in doing so, I realized I still care for Lip, that I want to try and work through our lies. But does he? Lip eventually strides toward me, his teeth biting on his lip ring.
He stops in front of me and crosses his arms, his stance cocky. I rear my hand back and slap him in the face hard. His head whips to the side, his arms uncrossing to grab at his face.
“Don’t ever do that again,” I sneer, tears filling my eyes. He removes his hand, revealing a bright red handprint. I huff and return to the room, angry that he makes me care, pissed that I love him, and furious that I ever climbed on the back of his bike.
***
Dinnertime rolls around, which consists of burgers and chips. I grab a tomato from the fridge and start slicing it up for the tray of sides.
“Cherry, I don’t like ‘matoes. They taste weird,” Zane says, lifting on his tiptoes to watch me slice it.
“You think so?” I laugh. He scrunches his nose and nods.
“Yeah, I’m not a big fan of them, either,” I agree.
“My mom says I should eat them ‘cause they’re good for me.” Zane sticks his tongue out, and I giggle.
“Well, mommies know best.” I smile. Zane acts like he’s going to gag and runs off. I shake my head at him and grab an onion to slice next. As soon as the knife cuts through it, I feel the room shift and my back tense. I glance up and find Lip grabbing a plate. Seconds go by, but they feel like minutes. I peer up from under my lashes and find Lip staring at me once more. My breath hitches, and a sharp piercing fills my finger.
“Ouch!” I gasp, shifting my eyes to my finger. Blood gushes out of my finger. Fuck, I’ve cut it.
Warmth presses along my back, and a hand grabs mine.
“Is it bad?” Lip asks, his smell and touch making me shift on my feet. I pull my hand from his and hiss.
“It fucking hurts, I know that,” I state. I look at my finger and notice a small cut.
“First-aid is in the bathroom in the main hall,” Tom Cat tells me, grabbing a tomato.
Lip grabs my wrist and pulls me around the island in the kitchen and out of the double doors. He drags me down the hall and opens the main bathroom door.
“Sit,” he instructs, pointing at the sink.
“I can put a Band-Aid on myself.” I roll my eyes but still sit on the sink’s counter.
He leans down, pulls the kit from under the sink and takes a Band-Aid out. He grabs my wrist and surveys the pad of my finger.
“You nicked it pretty good,” he mutters.
“It’s your fault,” I whisper. His brown eyes flick to mine and I scowl.
“I’m pretty sure you were too busy checking me out and forgot what you were doing.” He smiles wolfishly.
“Yeah, that was it,” sarcasm drips from my voice. “Pretty sure I just suck at cooking.”
Lip’s mouth lifts at the corner into a small smile. “Not arguing that.” He winks. My mouth falls open, and I give him a slap to the arm.
“Hey, I’m getting better,” I defend, laughing.
He turns on the faucet and slowly places my finger under it. The cool water splashes into the cut, making it sting. I hiss and yank it from the stream.
“Ouch, that hurts!” I yell. An evil grin fits his face and he pushes my hand back under the water.
“You gotta clean it.” He chuckles. “Stop being a baby.” I furrow my brows and roll my eyes.
He dries my finger off with a clean cloth and gently wraps it with a Band-Aid.
“There, all fixed up.” He smiles, holding my finger up to display a Spongebob Band-Aid.
I laugh. “Thanks.” Spongebob makes me think of Piper, a small sting in my chest resurfacing.
“Shadow will be back tomorrow with details on Eric and everyone involved,” Lip states. It’s crazy how he can still read my mind, even after this many years.
His hands rest on my knees, and the simple touch of his palms sends shivers up my thighs. I slowly shift my gaze from his hands to his face. His eyes are hooded, and his mouth is parted. Silence fills the air, and the tension becomes thick. I bite my bottom lip and hop off the counter. Just as I’m about to walk out, he grabs my arm, stopping me. His forehead wrinkles, and his eyes display a sense of sorrow, like he wants to apologize but doesn’t know how. Almost as soon as they arrived, the wrinkles disappear, and he lets go of me. I bite my cheek, feeling a little defeated, and walk back to the kitchen.
***
I wake from my sleep and feel heaviness on my waist, something rubbing against my clit. I moan and slowly open an eye. The weight across me is Lip’s arm. He’s lying in bed with me. I shift my ass, rubbing my clit along whatever is causing me so much pleasure in my sleepy haze.
A moan escapes Lip’s mouth in my ear. I lower my hand and grab onto whatever is gliding along my panty-clad pussy. The unmistakable barbell in Lip’s dick greets my palm.
“Fuck, I love you, Cherry,” Lip groans into my neck. My eyes widen, my fog of sleep lifting at once. I turn on my side and see Lip waking up at the same time. His hooded eyes find mine and we just stare at each other. He must have slept in the bed beside me, and our bodies found each other in the midst of sleeping. He pulls the sheet up and looks under the blanket, I assume at his dick. He shrugs in an apologetic way and grabs a spare pillow, shoving it between us. I shake my head and laugh, and he laughs with me.
“You’re in my bed,” I mutter, my mind playing back and forth if I really heard him say he loved me or if I dreamed it. Lip tilts his head to the side and a sly smirk crosses his face.
“Technically, you’re in my bed,” he counters.
“Technically, you’re on my side of the bed,” I smart.
He chuckles and pats the pillow. “I’ll stay on my side. Promise.”
Silence falls between us, and he brushes the hair from my face before cupping my cheek.
“Before my mom left, she told Tyler and I that ‘dishonesty condemns you, sinning betrays you’,” I whisper.
Lip shrugs. “What the fuck does that mean?”
“It means dishonesty often looks like the simplest route, getting you out of the path of trouble. However, that simplicity is a façade, ‘cause it eventually comes back to bite you in the ass, making you tell lies to cover yourself. Before you know it, your sins have not only betrayed you but condemned you.” I look at Lip. “I never knew how true those words were ‘til recently.” I think my mother spoke those words from personal experience.
“For what it’s worth, I’m sorry, Cherry. I’m sorry for everything.” His apology strikes me right in the chest. “I coaxed you into caring for me, into loving me. As much as I regret hurting you, I don’t regret having your love. Not one bit.” Emotions spill from the wound, and an uncontrolled sob escapes my lips.
“Come here,” he whispers, pulling me into his arms. I clench my eyes shut, my heart and mind playing a battle of what is right and wrong. I don’t want to be next to him. I don’t want to give into him this easily, but a piece of me is exhausted from being pissed off at him.
Tears stream down my cheeks, but the hurt isn’t nearly as bad as it was yesterday. There’s something about being in his arms that takes the pain away. Even though he caused the pain. The day I stole Lip’s wallet, he stole my heart.