The Love Child by R.L. Mendoza (1)

CHAPTER ONE

 

“Hawk, you must come home. It’s Jade’s eighteenth birthday and you must be the first dance, in place for his late father.” Alicia, his mother, sounded agitated. Her voice was trembling. He could imagine her twirling the phone’s cord round and round as she spoke.

 

“I’ll come home but not on Jade’s birthday. Next month. I’m due for vacation next month.” And that was a maybe. He didn’t come home ever since he went away. Even when his mother’s husband died.

 

He couldn’t come home...

 

Hawk sat more comfortably as he looked at the sky outside his window. He did not see the clouds. He was looking in his mind. He saw Jade for the first time. Sixteen, at that time.

 

He could feel the familiar stirring of his body so he straightened on his chair. His other hand rearranged the items on the table. The papers on one side. The pens on the other side. Then move around the things once again. He was not seeing them.

 

“Ma, I can’t leave my work. There are problems… Surely, her first dance is not that important—”

 

“It is important to Jade. She just lost his father. She’s been dreaming about this party for ages and now that—”

 

It was his turn to interrupt. He closed his eyes. “Call her uncle.”

 

“Her Uncle Jorge is paralyzed. Heart attack. It runs in the family, h-heart attack.” His mother replied with a sniffle. “I don’t know who to call now. It’s just for one night. Can’t you do it?”

 

Damn! Hawk felt like a bastard that he was, hearing his mother weep silently.

 

“I don’t ask for your help often, son. Just this once… Oh, how I missed Jon!” Jonathan had been her husband for almost two years before he was gone without fuss. Just a chest pain and a groan.

 

The two women in Jon’s life was still missing the older and kindly man.

 

“Okay,” he sighed brusquely. “I can get a red-eye flight back and forth.”

 

“Oh, really? Thank you, Hawk. Thank you, son.” Alicia sounded so relieved he felt a cad for refusing in the first place. “The party’s at seven in the evening. Try to arrive at six.”

 

“Where?”

 

“At the house. Your old room will be ready when you arrive,” Alicia said it as an afterthought. “Bye!”

 

Hawk pressed the ‘off’ button. He opened his eyes with a snap. He was suddenly bombarded with images. But the memories wouldn’t stop…

 

Long flowing hair that fell down to her hips. Black as midnight. She was looking down but when she glanced up, she seemed snared. She remained staring.

 

At him.

 

Chocolate eyes. Hot, swirling chocolate eyes. A man could drown in them gladly.

 

She seemed mesmerized as she stared unblinkingly at him.

 

Hawk couldn’t hold her gaze a bit longer. He could feel himself getting a hard-on. His whole body was on fire. Goosebumps crawled all over his skin.

 

‘Dammit, this girl is going to be my stepsister!’ His mind argued silently but fiercely to his wayward body.

 

He willed himself to look at Jonathan Henriquez, his stepfather-to-be. The man was stocky and shorter than his slender mother. Hawk took after his unknown father, tall and heavily muscled.

 

“Jonathan, good to see you,” he greeted the older man. He refused to call the man ‘dad’ or ‘uncle’ because they were not related by blood.

 

And he was thankful. Because he didn’t want to add incest to his sins. He was lusting after the daughter, for chrissake!

 

“Same here, Hawk. I’d like you to meet my unica hija, Jade. Jade, here’s Hawk Luna.”

 

He just nodded his head towards the girl.

 

But the girl had other ideas. She ran towards him and embraced him tightly.

 

“I never had a brother. I’m glad you’re older than me!”

 

Hawk felt her soft body like a shock that jarred his system. He was paralyzed for a second.

 

His hands, large and callused, held her slim arms and pushed her away. He felt scalded. He took a few steps backwards.

 

“Uh, sorry… Did I hurt you?” Jade asked innocently.

 

Jonathan butt in to rescue Hawk. Or Jade.

 

“Hawk’s been to a slight accident. He’s not up to your signature embraces! Ho ho!” Jonathan pretended to misunderstand Hawk’s slight wince. “Hijo, please bear with her. She is just sixteen. Ho ho!”

 

Hawk didn’t see anything funny. His firm mouth remained unsmiling. His eyes were expressionless but inside he was seething.

 

Jade looked at him warily. Her smile was tentative but still sweet. Her lips were dewy. And oh-so kissable…

 

The first time he felt an intense desire for a woman, it was to a sixteen-year-old girl—and in front of his mother and her father. Life was a sucker!

 

Hawk forced down his feelings, leaving him wooden and cold to his parent’s betrothal.

 

“Don’t you like Jon to be my husband, son?” Alicia asked worriedly when they were alone.

 

“Of course, I do,” he replied quickly.

 

“Then why the cold shoulder?”

 

“I’m just tired. Don’t worry, Ma. The wedding shall happen tomorrow.” He kissed her troubled brow. “I’ll just take a good night’s rest. This bad mood should be gone in the morning.”

 

“Okay, son.” Alicia wished him a baffled goodnight. It was early yet.

 

But the mood did not improve when morning came. Jade dominated his dreams. He woke up several times through the night, breathing hard and sweating profusely. He was naked. Even the thin sheet was abrasive to his skin.

 

He dreamed of Jade, also naked. Her soft, unclothed body rubbing his hard body sensuously. Her lips, smiling sweetly, as they slowly opened over one nipple. It was exquisite. Her tongue swirled, dipping as though to taste his skin.

 

He heard a loud groan. Rough and guttural. And he was not surprised when he woke up moaning while clutching the bedcovers tightly. His back arching as if the kiss was really happening.

 

“Damn you, Jade,” he growled harshly. “Damn you…”

 

Hawk rolled and buried his wet face onto the pillow. He moaned once again when his shaft burrowed onto the rumpled sheet. He was trying to calm down his raging libido. His whole body was afire as though he was suffering from malaria fever.

 

When his trembling abated, he got up and took a warm shower. His imagination, which had gone wild, imagined the water to be Jade’s hands caressing his skin. He turned the water temperature to cold at once.

 

Hawk had gone to his mother’s wedding, feeling morose and looking haggard. He could not smile even if someone pointed a gun at his temple.

 

But Jade was insensitive. She sat beside him and leaned close to whisper. “Does it hurt badly?”

 

He frowned at her. Did she have to rub it in? His body was hurting from unfulfilled lust.

 

“What?” he whispered fiercely.

 

“The little accident you had.” Her eyebrows squiggled up and down. She looked at his body curiously.

 

Hawk squirmed but only in his mind. He remained unmoving, hoping his suit coat hid his hard-on.

 

“Yes!” he hissed. He wanted to crush her in his embrace. He wanted to kiss her lips senseless. He could almost taste her sweetness in her breath.

 

He closed his eyes. Not wanting to see her. He might lose control.

 

“Oh, Hawk, I’m sorry.” Jade snuggled at him. Her young breasts rubbing against his arm. There were two layers of cloth, his white polo and dark grey suit coat, but he could feel the suppleness of her flesh.

 

His eyes snapped open, aghast. Was she really naïve?

 

“Could you just move away from me?” He gritted between his even, white teeth.

 

“Why?”

 

He swallowed as he improvised. “Because… I hurt my arm…” He sounded breathless but didn’t care. She must move away from him.

 

Jade almost jumped away from him. She paled as she looked at his arm. “Oh! I didn’t know. Silly me.” She clapped her hands to her luscious mouth. Her chocolate eyes stared at his arm. “Does it hurt much?”

 

Hawk released his breath slowly. “Just don’t touch it.”

 

‘Don’t touch me.’

 

Jade didn’t bother him anymore. She would say his name softly to catch his attention. He knew she was itching to pat him but stopping at the last minute.

 

“Look at Mommy Alice! She’s so beautiful. I’d love to wear her wedding gown at my own wedding!” She exclaimed when the ceremony drew to its end.

 

Hawk looked at his mother. Alicia was pink-cheeked and red-lipped. Her eyes were starry, full of love, as she gazed at her groom. Jonathan was gazing back at her tenderly.

 

“Come! Let’s have our picture with them!” Jade was careful to hold his hand. Her small hand looked smaller when their fingers clasped together.

 

‘Just holding her hand was heaven,’ Hawk thought. His fingers itched to caress the center of her palm but remained unmoving. He could not waken her desire because he could not douse her fire…

 

He turned his head to look at her, his eyes half-closed. Jade Henriquez was off-limits. She was his stepsister. And she was just a young girl.

 

Jade stared up at him. She was tall for a girl but still her head just reach his wide chest. Her body was willowy under the white, sleeveless dress. She moved like a lanky lad, clumsy and gauche. She would be slim and elegant in time.

 

But he should pass the opportunity to watch her turn into a graceful swan…

 

Hawk had accepted an overseas assignment. He was free from obligation to his mother. She had married a fine gentleman. Jonathan would take good care of her.

 

Within a month, he had arranged his transfer to the Middle East.

 

“Ma, I’ll call as often as I can. Don’t worry about me,” he said to a tearful Alicia. “You won’t feel alone anymore. You have Jonathan and Jade now.”

 

“My baby… Why do you have to go abroad? You have a good job here.”

 

“I need adventures. And I’m not a baby anymore.” Damn, he was twenty-five!

 

“I know, I know, but you’re still a baby to me.”

 

Hawk sighed his exasperation. He could understand his clingy mother. There were just the two of them when her parents died from a plane crash.

 

“Alicia dear, let Hawk forged his way to the world. I’m here for you now. Let me take care of you,” Jonathan crooned to her.

 

He smiled tightly at him. “Thanks,” he mouthed.

 

“Hawk…” Jade called to him.

 

He schooled his expression before facing her. “Yes?”

 

“You will call me, too?” She requested in a small voice. Her deep brown eyes looked at him dolefully. Her lips pouting as though ready to give him a kiss.

 

Jade was following him around the house when he was at home. She would ask him everything under the sun. She was feeling like a little sister to a big brother with him. While he lusted after her…

 

“Course,” he replied carelessly. His hands tightening to both bags he carried. “Goodbye.”

 

Hawk walked away without looking back.

 

And now… he must face his own nightmare!

 

He stood up and looked out the window. It had been two years. Maybe the lust was not there anymore. Maybe the desire he felt for Jade had faded in time.

 

‘Maybe...’ he whispered despairingly.

 

 

CHAPTER TWO

 

Hawk always dreaded the hours when he was at home. The Luna Residence, which had become Henriquez-Luna Residence, had been a home and hell—and, well, heaven, for him. He was always aroused and alerted with Jade around.

 

He would drive his car with erotic images in his head. All featuring Jade. His dreams were always of Jade. He knew he was just tormenting himself but he couldn’t stop himself from thinking about her. Everything about Jade was perfect. Her breasts, her long legs, her waist, her hips, her face… Just perfect…

 

He couldn’t stop looking at her picture. He was like taking his daily fix. It was the photo taken on his mother’s and her father’s wedding. She was smiling at the camera mischievously. She was leaning towards him and holding his ‘bad’ arm carefully.

 

His favorite fantasy was Jade wearing a gauzy thing. She was dancing slowly while walking towards him. She twirled and put up her arms when she was right in front of him. Her breasts were bra-less and he could see her nipples. Pebble-like and begging to be sucked. Just watching her walked sexily gave him an erection.

 

She had make-up on her eyelids and lip-gloss on her lips. They turned her eyes into mysterious pools that sucked his soul. Her lips formed an ‘o’ before pouting as if to kiss him.

 

At last, she was kneeling in front of him. He was sitting on the bed. Surprised because he was wearing nothing. His clothes had magically melted away.

 

His hard-on was pointing upwards. Willing her to notice it. Longing to be kissed.

 

He couldn’t explain his feelings when his wish became her command. She was kissing him there. Her eyes, darkened and roiling like a storm-tossed ocean, were staring at him while she swallowed his whole length into her mouth…

 

He half-closed his eyes when she pulled off the head. Her lips wrapped around the girth before she let go with a pop. Still staring at him, she delicately licked the ridges and the base. She sucked the flesh underneath while her hands cupped the sac. She repeated the action until he could not take anymore.

 

Jesus!

 

Hawk always halted his fantasy when the end was near. He was afraid to have a heart attack.

 

It had been two years but Hawk could still see the scene in his mind. After the photo session, Jade had looked up to him and smiled sweetly. Her eyes, a dark chocolate churned while smoky hot, stared at him. Her luscious lips were half-opened, showing her white pearly teeth. Her body was ripe and slim, poised for his embrace.

 

But he didn’t heed the silent plea in her eyes. His arms felt empty when he turned away. His body was ‘shouting’ at him…

 

‘I want you, Jade…’

 

He could smell her long hair. So fragrant. So fresh.

 

Every time he opened the door, her flowery fragrance welcomed him. Subtly, when she was out. Strongly, when she was in. His nose knew exactly where she was.

 

The nights were worse. She ‘visited’ his dreams every night. Even when he was drunk and tired, she tormented him. She would dance in front him. She would be naked, slowly rolling her hips while her hands were touching herself. She would go near him, worship him with kisses, adore him with touching hands…

 

She rode him. Her hips were soft and smooth to his touch. Her legs were apart and he was lying in between. She was open and he was tempted to feel her honeyed wetness.

 

She laid down over him. The tips of her breasts touching his chest. He felt the small waves of pleasure on his flesh. He kissed her fragrant neck, her cleavage, her nipples… His erection prodded her belly relentlessly while his mouth suckled at her softness ceaselessly. He was greedily relishing her.

 

Until he didn’t know which was his fantasy and his dream. Until he was silently going crazy…

 

He had gone abroad because of this wanton creature he had made of Jade. His mind had created a different Jade.

 

And when both the fantasy and the dream had slowly faded, his mother called him and he was bombarded again with memories. Jade turned eighteen…

 

Hawk shivered. Excitement rippling all over him. The thought of coming home again was both arousing and agitating. He could already feel the pull of Jade’s charms. Without his respect for her father and his mother, he knew he couldn’t resist her.

 

Jonathan Henriquez was not there anymore. His presence was not detrimental anymore. And she was eighteen…

 

You don’t have to rub it in, man! Jade is eighteen years old! So what? God, I must be burning in hell!

 

Many times in the past, Hawk would daydream about them. He would invite Jade for lunch. He would drop her off to school, then he would pick her up. He was afraid that some man or boy would attract her. That she would be snatched away from him. So why not fence her in and wait for the fruit to ripen?

 

“Oh, Hawk, I’m so happy! Jade is the daughter that God has given me.” His mother gushed to him one day. “Aren’t you glad to have a sister like Jade? She’s so sweet!” Alicia always referred to Jade as ‘your sister’ to Hawk. He had remained tight-lipped.

 

Jade was naturally sweet to everyone. Maybe, Hawk had read something from the attention he received from her. That once he showed his attraction to her, she would be disgusted.

 

He decided to hide his lust and hoped that it would fade in time. But his feelings for her had evolved. His forbidden desire for her had increased day by day. His wet dreams about Jade became alarmingly aggressive.

 

In one of his dreams, he had used mild force. Binding her hands behind her body, he kissed her flawless breasts. He shaped the soft mounds into his palms. He watched the pink tips hardened into fuchsia pearls that he would pluck and play with his mouth.

 

“Hawk!” She was screaming until she became hoarse. “Hawk…”

 

“Do you want me? Say you want me, too!”

 

“No…” She moaned helplessly.

 

“I’ll make you want me…”

 

And proceeded to do again the torture to her body. His mouth tugged at her nipple, tasting the sweetness, sucking at the pebbled hardness, tweaking it with his tongue. She arched her body, giving him access, tilting her head to let him free to do whatever he wanted to do to her.

 

All the while, she was screaming his name. “Hawk! Oh, Hawk! I want you! I want you! Take me! Take me!”

 

He awoke sweaty and breathless. Her throaty cries still echoing in his mind. He was sick with himself.

 

‘God! What kind of a man was I who treated a woman like that? Jade is your stepsister, for chrissake! She deserves your respect, Hawk!’

 

He flagellated himself all the way to the shower. He stayed under the cold spray of water the longest time. He was trying to cleanse his mind of dirty thoughts.

 

The opening of a job contract in the Middle East was like manna from the above. He grabbed the opportunity. The management asked him if he could leave at once. He said yes.

 

His mother was shocked but nothing could stop him. He was turning into a monster. A maniac monster.

 

If he stayed, he wouldn’t be responsible to anything he would do to Jade. His dreams had the terrifying realistic quality. His craziness might snap and he would make his erotic illusion a reality.

 

Now, he was getting ready to face his nightmare. Predictably, his dreams about Jade would resume night after night but what can he do to stop it…?

 

‘God help me, but Jade, you’re still in my blood!’

 

Hawk needed a smokescreen. He called Dinah. She was a woman working in an office by day, and as an escort by night. She had a family to support back home so she had to work double.

 

He met her when he was homesick and she had been there at the bar, waiting for men like him. She had enjoyed playing the role of ‘Jade’ in his fantasies without her knowing it. He disliked his character more. 

 

“I’m sorry, Hawk. I have a prior appointment. If you like, I could refer a different girl for you. Feeling lonely tonight, huh?”

 

“No, I have to go home. I just called if you like to go with me. It’s for one night only.”

 

“Oh, I can’t marry you, lover boy. I have a husband and kids.”

 

Hawk ran his fingers to his hair. Dinah jumped to wrong conclusion.

 

“Dinah, I just need a companion. But if you’re not available, it’s okay. Goodbye.”

 

Hawk felt relief. He should not see Jade through Dinah. He must wiped out this insanity. He should let go of this craziness. He closed his eyes. He shouldn’t be scared. It was only Jade…

 

*****

 

Jade was on tenterhooks while Mommy Alice talked on the phone. As promised, the older woman spoke to her son.

 

She was standing a few meters away but her ears were listening intently. Jade was not interested to hear the words. Just a positive response would suffice.

 

‘Oh, God, please lead Hawk home,” she prayed silently.

 

“Bye, son.” Alicia was sniffling but she was smiling. She nodded when Jade looked at her questioningly.

 

That was all she needed. “Excuse me…” Then she ran to go to her room.

 

Her arms went around her body. She was trembling. Why did she react like this to the thought of seeing Hawk again?

 

It had been six months when her father died. She had no time to mourn for long because she had to go back to school. She only insisted to summon Hawk to her birthday party for the sake of Mommy Alice. The older woman favored black dresses for too long. It was time the son visited his mother. Jade’s love was not enough.

 

Jade had been fascinated with the tall and quiet man from the first moment she saw him. Hawk was like no other men, or boys, that she had met. He was mysterious. He changed colors just like a kaleidoscope. His moods were hard to pin.

 

Nonetheless, she followed him like a loyal puppy dog when he was home. She ignored his smoldering silence. She was content to watch him gnash his teeth with impatience before he spoke. Maybe, he was getting old and he got no patience to a younger sister.

 

It had been over a month when he suddenly announced that he was being transferred to the Middle East. It was so sudden. She had no time to unravel the layers that he used to protect himself.

 

And she had no chance to discover the root of her fascination for him. Jade didn’t know if she had a crush on him or she was just plain happy to have a new family.

 

Jade felt gutted when he was gone.

 

Her late father tried to comfort her when she could not shake off the disappointment.

 

“Jade, I don’t like seeing you sad-faced. Where’s my sweetly smiling daughter? Your Mommy Alice was wondering if I was just lying about your bubbly personality.” Her dad sounded worried. It had been one week when Hawk went away and she was still moping around the house.

 

“I’m here,” Jade smiled wanly. “I just missed Hawk so much. I wanted a brother and my wish had been granted for just a short time.”

 

“Well, you’ve got a mother now. And Alice wants a daughter—you,” Jonathan said cajolingly.

 

“Oh, please say sorry to Mommy Alice!” She bounced from the bed.

 

“Much better to say it yourself.” Her dad replied smilingly. “Alice dear, come here. Jade has something to say to you.”

 

“I’m sorry, Mommy Alice,” Jade mumbled. “I promise I’ll be the best daughter for you!”

 

“For me, you’re the best daughter in the world,” Alicia responded fondly.

 

Alicia and Jade embraced each other. Starting that day, a strong relationship developed between the two women. She learned from Alice all the things a mother could teach a beloved daughter. The loneliness that Hawk’s departure created faded each day.

 

Mommy Alice showered love and affection for her.

 

Jade had transferred school. She met a lot of boys and girls her age. At home, Mommy Alice was always there to greet father and daughter. Jonathan had been renting an apartment so when he and Alicia married, the couple decided to live at the Luna Residence.

 

“Hawk told us to live here. I said yes because it was Alice’s birth home. Her parents lived here and several generations before them.” Her father had explained to Jade shortly.

 

The house was old. It had three storeys. The third was an attic, turned into a bedroom. Hawk’s room. It had a workroom, where his projects were strewn all around.

 

She often went up here to be near him when she missed him.

 

One day, she had a strange dream about him. She had taken to cleaning his room when she was missing him. She must have fallen asleep on his bed when she saw Hawk coming out of the shower. She felt like a voyeur but she couldn’t help but stare in her dream.

 

Hawk’s face was hard and all angles. He was unsmiling. He was looking at a distance. Seemingly not seeing her lying there on the bed. He had a towel wrapped around his lean hips. He was tall even on barefoot. His feet were narrow and the toes well-shaped. He hadn’t an ounce of fat to his trim body. His chest was wide and his abdomen had ripples of firm flesh. His arms were muscular, borne due to hard work. His strength was not the product of gym. His buttocks were tight and curvy.

 

She felt turned on by a man’s body. By Hawk’s body.

 

She shook her head. He was her stepbrother!

 

She fled the attic room. She felt Hawk’s mocking laughter echoing behind her. She stopped going there for a month. Shivering whenever she remembered the incident.

 

The second floor had four bedrooms and four en suites. The toilets and bathrooms were the latest additions. The largest room, which was the master’s bedroom, was occupied by Alicia and Jonathan. Jade had chosen the farthest because its balcony had a winding staircase towards the back garden.

 

She had a childhood fantasy. She was a wood nymph then, playing and dancing in the woods in her imagination. Now, she could make her fantasy come true. As a child, she had a penchant of burying things under the ground and hoping that they would be unearthed someday.

 

And she did just that in the overgrown garden of the Luna Residence. She turned all her energies to the little paradise.

 

Mommy Alice discovered her ‘hobby’.

 

“Jade, there might be snakes and all kinds of insects there!” The older woman exclaimed.

 

“I don’t mind them, Mommy Alice,” she replied happily. “Come and see my little kingdom!”

 

The older woman was reluctant but when she saw what Jade had done, her eyes widened.

 

“You did this?”

 

‘This’ was a small clearing inside the garden. Jade clipped the tall grass around the old, concrete bench. She planted several wild flowers on the surrounding perimeter. The shade was provided by a large mango tree.

 

“So, this is where you disappear when you’re not in your room.” Mommy Alice still sounded awed but pleasantly surprised. “You like gardening?”

 

“I love it!” she replied enthusiastically.

 

The next day an elderly man appeared and started to clear the wilderness.

 

“He is Manong Steve, our part-time gardener. He is recommended by our neighbor, Mrs. Conchita.”

 

Jade clapped her hands. “I can plant the whole garden!” she exclaimed.

 

“We will plant vegetables and flowers,” Mommy Alice corrected her gently.

 

Gradually, she adapted to her new life. She even met Mrs. Conchita’s son, Alfonso. They were of the same age and with the same interest, literally.

 

“Hi, Jade. You can call me ‘Ponz’,” the tall and lanky sixteen-year-old boy said. “We’re neighbors.”

 

“I don’t have a nickname.” She sounded timid, at first. Something was not right with her newly acquired friend. She couldn’t help but stare. Maybe, he was wearing an eyeliner. Maybe, he had got lipstick on his lips…

 

“I’m gay,” he whispered to her left ear. “But that’s our secret. Mom doesn’t know… yet.” Then, he winked at her.

 

“Oh… of course!” Jade smiled, relieved. Her naturally affectionate self emerging. She embraced him and kissed him on both cheeks.

 

“Welcome… sister,” she whispered back, giggling.

 

They became very close friends from then on. They were inseparable until they entered college. Jade took culinary arts while Ponz got enchanted with fashion design. They still went out with their common friends whenever they had time, which was often during semestral break.

 

Ponz was three months older than Jade. They celebrated his birthday secretly. His mother didn’t know yet his true gender. And Mrs. Conchita was very much taken with Jade. She had mistakenly assumed that Ponz and Jade were an item.

 

“Ma has a heart problem. I don’t want to give her a heart attack,” Ponz explained once and Jade didn’t say a pip.

 

Presently, Jade called Ponz.

 

“Friend, my stepbrother is coming to my birthday party. You will meet him again.”

 

Ponz had seen a glimpse of Hawk while growing up. He had a crush on him.

 

“Your stepbrother was aloof as a teenager. He was always alone. He was serious and brooding yet already a lady-killer, according to my mother,” Ponz recounted. “Then, we went to the States for a year. And when I came back, he was more manly and very yummy. Unfortunately, he had eyes on women only.” The way Ponz had said his observation was both comical and mournful, Jade couldn’t stop herself from giggling.

 

“And I don’t know if Hawk could remember meeting me at the mini-park. I was very thin and asthmatic then. But I’m very excited on seeing him now. I bet, he looks hungry and ferocious. Grawr!” Ponz growled playfully at Jade.

 

“Oh!” Jade felt a ripple of excitement along her spine. She was a little bit disturbed after that conversation. Her awareness for Hawk had intensified.

 

And that night, she dreamed of him again. When she saw him coming out of the shower again, she was with him. She could see his face up close. She could touch his lips if she wanted.

 

But he had changed. He was harder and more morose than before.

 

Hawk was even more puzzling now. Was there a woman? Jade didn’t understand why she was hurt. Of course, there was a woman. He was twenty-seven or twenty-eight. Was he serious and the woman was just playing around? Oh, why couldn’t you wait for me?

 

Jade was shocked. She woke up sweating and breathing fast. She rolled around and buried her burning face against the pillow. She shouldn’t feel like this to Hawk. He was her stepbrother…

 

 

CHAPTER THREE

 

Lately, she was thinking about Hawk with the perspective of an adult. She analyzed his reactions to her advances. He would nimbly side-step when she tried to embrace him. She would end up holding his arm. She had wondered if his arm was still hurting.

 

As an adult, she often squirmed because her desire to embrace was not so innocent. She liked the hard feel of his muscles against her softness. She wanted to stay within his iron arms because she felt safe. She just wanted to be near him, talking to him, watching him…

 

God, she had a crush on Hawk. She hoped he didn’t know. What would he think of her? He thought of her as his little sister while she fantasized about him.

 

And yet, it didn’t stop the shivers when she thought of his dark eyes. They had a darkness there that excited the woman in her. When she was sixteen, she could feel the hotness of his gaze. Now that she was eighteen, she started to feel hot whenever she thought of his mouth. She swallowed every time she imagined him kissing her…

 

‘Stop it, Jade!’ She shook her head. Her arms went around her body. She was shaking as though cold yet she was perspiring.

 

Was that the reason why he never called when she was around? She had asked herself for the umpteenth time.

 

She had never talked to Hawk ever since he went abroad because the promised ‘calls’ arrived randomly. And always Jade was absent. She learned to swallow her frustration whenever she missed the overseas calls.

 

A week before Christmas, Hawk called. Alicia and Jade were both in the kitchen, cooking dinner and baking cakes.

 

“Son, when are you coming home?”

 

Jade listened on the one-sided conversation while pretending to look in the oven. They just loaded the fruit cakes they were baking for the school fair.

 

“Oh… you can’t come home? Hawk, that’s only work. Surely, your family’s more important?” Alicia sounded distressful. She had difficulty on curbing the disappointment. “Yes, we received the gifts before December. But we missed you. Jade is here, beside me. Oh… Merry Christmas to you, too!”

 

The phone went dead. Alicia looked confusedly at the black thing for several seconds. “He’s gone. He just wished us a Merry Christmas…”

 

Jade wasn’t sure but Hawk seemed didn’t want to talk to her. Why? Maybe, she was too irritating because she talked too much? Or maybe, he found her giggly manner quite embarrassing?

 

She sighed tearfully. She could change. She promised herself that she’d learned to be more ladylike. She could train herself to be refined and restrained.

 

Jade buried her hurt. She hid the pain caused by Hawk’s snub.

 

She secretly read books about etiquettes for young ladies and about how to be graceful at all times. She also studied Mommy Alicia because she idolized the older woman.

 

She had gradually changed her manner. She wore skirts and dresses nowadays. No more jeans for her.

 

Then her father died suddenly. Mommy Alice was as devastated as Jade. They drew comfort from one another.

 

And Hawk still couldn’t come home. The new bridge was threatened by rebels. They had to work three shifts a day.

 

Mommy Alice didn’t insist. Instead, they prayed for Hawk’s safety. Once, after the crisis had passed, he called via Skype to offer his solemn condolences to his mother and to Jade.

 

“Jade, you’re not alone in world. You have us, my mother and I shall take care of you.” Hawk said somberly.

 

“Y-yes… and I thank you very much. I love Mommy Alice! And you, too.” Several seconds passed before she was able to speak. She was tearful but her eyes were busily re-acquainting to his features.

 

She imagined his hardness correctly and more. The woman involved with him hurt him deeply.

 

His face was harder and leaner. More matured. His eyes seemed deeper and blacker than a night with no moon. He looked worse for wear but more dangerous. Darker.

 

Unconsciously, her finger pressed the button ‘print screen’. She stared at the frozen image for a moment before she sent it to her email. She was breathless, as though she ran a mile as fast as she could.

 

She knew a feeling that felt like giant wave overwhelming her. And she panicked.

 

She always felt like this when she thought of Hawk. Now, more than ever, because he was coming home…

 

Ponz had guessed the way Hawk look like today.

 

“I could imagine his physique is leaner. Hawk would make the six-pack abs of male models fatty. They would look flabby next to Hawk. His bo—dy would be more real.” Ponz pronounced the word ‘body’ slowly and sensuously. He had deliberately made it seemed yummy and delicious.

 

Jade didn’t say a word but her imagination ran wild. His body was naked and he was all hers...

 

‘No! Hawk is coming home for his mother alone. Not you. You’re nothing to him.’ Jade repeated these words as though a mantra until she calmed herself. She often found herself getting into panic whenever she thought of her coming birthday.

 

Jade had opted out of the original plan. She had matured overnight. She didn’t feel eighteen at all. She felt older.

 

Her father had hotel reservations a year before. But when he died, she had cancelled them. She would have cancelled the whole thing if Mommy Alice had insisted that she celebrate.

 

“Who will be my first dance?” Jade was thinking of Ponz.

 

Ponz was tall, slim, and very handsome. He had aspiration to be a well-known fashion designer. He also worked as part-time model only to have an excuse on wearing make-up.

 

Jade could ask him to be his first dance but he was currently having a quarrel with his boyfriend.

 

She was thinking pensively when Mommy Alice dropped a bomb. “Hawk, of course.”

 

“H-hawk?” Yes, of course, who else? “But, would he agree? I’m not a relative—”

 

“Jade! You’re my daughter,” Alicia said sternly but gently. “And Hawk is my son. He shall be your first dance.”

 

She agreed to ask Hawk because of Mommy Alice. She understood that the older woman missed her son terribly.

 

It was several days since Mom Ali had called Hawk. He had remained silent while his mother fretted incessantly.

 

“I called but his voice mail told me to text him the message. He is at the site.”

 

“Have you texted him?” She asked with a straight face while she was all jelly inside.

 

“Yes. I told him what to wear.”

 

She hoped he wore nothing. Huh? Her hand covered her mouth while the thought reverberated in her brain. His naked body instantly in the forefront of her mind. The biceps, the hairy chest, the six-pack abs…

 

Oh, my God…!

 

Tonight was the night. It was her debut party. Jade had mixed feelings, which she hid carefully. Her hands shook as she donned her long dress. She refused to buy a gown.

 

Her father was not here to support her financially. Although there was money left behind for his daughter and his widow, she was too practical to splurge on one night of celebration.

 

“Do you need help, Jade?” Mommy Alice peeped at the door while she was sitting in front of the dresser.

 

“No, but you may watch me.” She smiled mischievously.

 

“May I?” Alicia was like a young girl as she looked over the wide array of colors with wide eyes. “You have so many make-ups!”

 

“These are Ponz’. He lent these to me. I’ll just use a minimum amount. A dash of lipstick and some purple eye shadows. And some blush-on.”

 

“What? Oh, okay. I’ll do your hair.” Mommy Alice was still an innocent to many things of the modern world.

 

Alicia picked up the brush and gently scooped the long strands. Jade had it cut to shoulder length since her father died.

 

Jade mascaraed her lashes with carefulness instead of expertise. Her eye lashes were curly so she didn’t need the curlers.

 

“By the way, Hawk had arrived thirty minutes ago.” Her stepmother announced casually.

 

Jade suddenly trembled. She let the older woman put the glittering clip on her chignon while breathing slowly.

 

Inhale. Exhale.

 

She remembered her fantasy of him. His lips were firm but he had sensual bottom lip. She had wondered what taste his kiss was…

 

Jade closed her eyes. She couldn’t look herself in the eye. What imagination she had!

 

When she could move, she opened her eyes wide. She applied the small amount of make-up with deliberate slowness. And even then, she couldn’t help but wonder what he was wearing.

 

“Jon would be proud of you Jade,” Mommy Alice gushed as they looked at each other on the mirror. “His little girl is now a young lady.”

 

She stood up to face her stepmother. “Yes, Daddy would be happy,” she agreed and then kissed the older woman. “I am happy, too. Thank you for being here, Mommy Alice.”

 

“You’re welcome, dear.” Alicia kissed her cheeks, too. “Now, let’s go. Your guests will be coming soon.”

 

Jade followed sedately even though her feet itched to run down the staircase and welcome Hawk in her open arms. But that was not ladylike…

 

*****

 

The house was ablaze with lights. The porch was bright with colorful bulbs and the gardens were illuminated.

 

The darkened portion of the skies lightened for a few seconds when lightning struck from afar. There was a storm brewing. The flight’s pilot had warned the passengers going to the North through the microphone.

 

“Do not travel tonight, folks, when your destination is to the North. There are hotels around the airport. Stay the night there and wait for the news.” His voice boomed from the sound system.

 

Hawk disregarded the warning because he was not going anywhere. His old ancestral home was along Pasay City.

 

And when he alighted from the airport taxi, he felt a sense of coming home. He asked himself why did he went away.

 

Jade.

 

Hawk shook his head. Maybe, he was just suffering jet lag.

 

His mother was waiting at the door of ancestral house. She embraced him tightly, crying profusely.

 

“Ma, don’t cry. I’m here.” He comforted her by gently touching the smooth chignon of her hair.

 

Alicia looked sad yet still pretty in the formal ensemble. Her long gown was silver and her ears twinkled with the small diamond earrings. Grief made her older. There was color grey along the sides of her hair. Her forehead had few lines and her eyes were wrinkled at the corners.

 

“I hope you’ll stay for good, Hawk.”

 

“Impossible, Ma. I signed another two-year contract.” Hawk felt like a bastard that he was because he lied.

 

“There must be vacation leaves. Why don’t you stay for a month or two?” Alicia insisted. “And you have a limp! You’ll need a longer time to rest. Can you dance?”

 

“I can’t let down my team, Ma. But next time, I’ll stay for longer. Promise. And I can dance slowly.” Hawk tried to answer all the questions of his mother.

 

“O-okay,” she sniffled slightly. “You must be tired after a long flight. Go upstairs. Jade is still in her room, getting ready. I’ll tell her you’re here.” She smiled wobbly.

 

“I’m glad I’m home, Ma.” Hawk kissed his mother on the forehead. He tried to limp when he went upstairs.

 

From the window of his room, he could see the neat rows of vegetables and flowers at the back because of the twin lighting at the small gate. His mother often mentioned this new hobby she had with Jade.

 

He must thank Jade for this new zest in life she had given to his mother.

 

Twilight had spread its inky fingers across the glorious sunset. The party had begun.

 

But he was still reluctant to go down. He moved around his room restlessly. He went to the other side. He was aghast when he saw the room was clean. Everything was in its place neatly. Not a speck of dust was to be seen. Clearly, the room had been cleaned regularly.

 

His mother must miss him so hard. Yet his mother knew that he didn’t want others to handle his things…

 

Jade!

 

His frown deepened. He was looking for something to irritate him and it was in front of him, but he was feeling somewhat… important.

 

He imagined her sweeping the floor and rolling the assortment of blueprints that were spread haphazardly on the two long tables and placing on the shelves. Her skin glistening with perspiration as she wiped the dirty windows with a rag. And then, her beautiful chocolate eyes looked at her handiwork lovingly—

 

Lovingly! Where did that word come from?

 

Hawk tried to shrug off the thought. Those were just wishful thinking…

 

But the image of Jade wearing her favorite cut-off jeans and old over-sized shirt sweeping the floor got stuck in his mind. But maybe, she was just cleaning the room of an older brother.

 

He shook his head. Jet lag. He was suffering from jet lag.

 

“Hawk, the party’s started.” Alicia’s voice came from below.

 

He sipped brandy from a flask he always carried with him.

 

The party. Jade…

 

 

CHAPTER FOUR

 

Hawk took a large gulp. Coughing loudly when he swallowed a mouthful. He capped the flask.

 

“Hawk—”

 

“I’m coming down, Ma.” He croaked out. His throat was hurting. He took another swig from the flask.

 

“Don’t be long,” she replied cheerfully.

 

He walked towards the bathroom to take a last look at himself.

 

He had changed. A lot. His once blue-black hair had turned to greyish at the temples. Not so black anymore. Yet he was only twenty-seven years old. The long hair, the strands reaching his collar, only added to his age.

 

His eyes seemed sharper and deeper. Maybe, due to the loss of weight and the darkened skin. The sun in the Middle East was relentlessly hot.

 

His mouth seemed thinner. Never smiling. His nose more prominent because it looked pinched. His jaws were all sharp angles. Having had a beard ever since he started working at Middle East, he didn’t notice his depreciating looks.

 

He had not considered himself handsome before. Now, he was more like an ageing uncle to Jade.

 

He had shaved when he left his hotel in Dubai, before the flight. But there was already a shadow. For want of a little more time, he shaved again.

 

He was wearing a new black tuxedo suit. His mother requested the correct costume through text.

 

‘Jade was wearing a long dress instead of a gown her father had chosen. Wear a black suit, in memory of her father.’

 

He had chosen a longer coat. He wanted to be prepared when Jade launched on him. Although he didn’t know what kind of reception he would receive. Maybe, she had changed. Maybe, she was not a touchy child anymore.

 

During the last month at home, two years ago, Hawk had always a painful hard-on whenever she was around. He couldn’t control his body. He had to go up to his room to take a long, cold shower many times.

 

He had dreamt of wilder scenes. His lust for Jade had been growing uncontrollably scarier. Until he should cut it short. Until he could not take it any longer. He went away.

 

He had seen and spoke to Jade once to offer condolences. Her chocolate eyes sparkled with unshed tears but her lips were still luscious. They gave a tiny smile for him. Her eyebrows were expressive of her grief. They formed into upward curve, shaped like a small mountain.

 

He was alone in his quarters so no one could see him kissing the monitor. Of course, the image was frozen. The call had ended a moment ago.

 

He kissed her on the mouth gently. Wanting to comfort her. Wanting to be there for her and his mother.

 

Hawk had wanted to go home then but his work demanded his full concentration. Everybody was in danger. The rebels’ ire had just abated momentarily because they saw that the bridge was more important for the people.

 

And now that he was at home, and he was about to see Jade, he was here dawdling in front of the mirror.

 

Hawk took a deep breath. He was tempted to take another gulp from the small flask. But he needed full control of his mind and body before meeting Jade…

 

He was afraid he might lose control. His arm might go around her and never let her go. He might kiss her dewy lips until she protested.

 

‘God, help me!’ He said silently.

 

He first saw his mother, who stood by the front door. Standing beside her was a tall young woman, with a similarly neat chignon and a long white dress. The woman was talking to a taller man.

 

And from Hawk’s point of view, they seemed intimate to each other. They had their hands to each other. She was holding his arm while he was touching her waist. Their heads leaning to listen to what they were whispering about.

 

He sized up the woman. She was slender as a willow. The sweet shape of her hips was just right. Her legs under the long skirt were long and shapely. He was intrigued and, at the same time, exhilarated. He could feel his desire kicking in. Was he cured of Jade, at last?

 

Jade was nowhere to be seen. Maybe, she was late coming down. She was the celebrant, after all.

 

‘Who—?’ His question to himself wasn’t finished when the woman turned her head around suddenly. Maybe, his hot gaze was blazing the delicate skin of her nape.

 

When he saw her face, the air was sucked from his lungs. It was several seconds before he inhaled, then exhaled immediately. His heart was beating too fast while his eyes feasted on her perfect features.

 

‘His Jade’ was more beautiful now.

 

When she saw him, she moved with unconscious gracefulness while she turned to him. There was nervousness in her eyes as she met his. Her lips were trembling slightly as she tried to smile.

 

Hawk was nervous, too. His Adam’s apple bobbed up and down. Jade was unpredictable. He gritted his teeth when she started walking towards him.

 

No, she didn’t walk. She glided smoothly. Her eyes never leaving his face.

 

“Hawk.” Even her voice had changed. It was smoky and a bit husky.

 

“Happy birthday, Jade.” Was this girl only eighteen? She looked like a lady.

 

“Thank you.” Jade looked down. Her cheeks reddening a bit. “You’re… looking great.”

 

Hawk recalled the reflection of himself on the mirror. “I’m not,” he said shortly. “Don’t lie.”

 

“Oh, but—”

 

“Shall we dance?”

 

“Of course,” she said nervously. “You really looked great, you know.” Her eyes had been looking him up and down. Unconsciously assessing him.

 

He was instantly aroused. If he didn’t know better, he would accuse her of removing his clothes…

 

“Sure,” he replied huskily, offering his arm.

 

Jade went nearer slowly. Still staring at him. Her expression had turned serious.

 

God help him!

 

A desperate idea crossed his mind. Why not flirt with her? Give her a dose of her own medicine.

 

But no. Maybe, Jade was not even flirting. Her guilelessness was clear in her eyes as she looked at him.

 

Hawk stared back. Trying to read her mind. Why was she fascinated with him? It was hard to resist her when she kept on looking at him.

 

His eyes undressed her. Unconsciously, he was getting rid of her dress with his eyes. Her breasts seemed bigger but still firm and perfectly shaped. He admired her shadowy cleavage. It invited a man’s hand. His hand.

 

He shouldn’t have gulped so much of that whisky, he scolded himself. He was feeling lightheaded. He was drunk. Mentally, he shook his head.

 

Jade stopped and gasped aloud. “W-why are you looking at me like that?”

 

“Like what?” Hawk yanked her gently and pulled her towards the center of the living area, which served as dance floor when cleared most of the furniture. He was feeling reckless.

 

“Like you’re… Like I’m naked…” This time, Jade refused to look at him anymore.

 

“You… must be imagining things,” he rasped. He was slowly getting uncontrolled. “Let’s just dance!”

 

She bit her under lip but didn’t say a word.

 

When he held her right hand and his other arm went around her, his recklessness doubled. While dancing slowly, his fingers caressed the center of her soft palm. His hand on her waist roamed up and down her back gently. She squirmed imperceptibly. 

 

Hawk could feel his body waging a war against his mind…

 

‘Man, pull yourself together! Your mother is watching!’

 

He looked at his mother. She was busy entertaining a group of women. He maneuvered Jade away.

 

“Hawk, you’re drunk!” Jade detected the smell of whisky under his breath. She tried to pull her hand.

 

“You’ve changed,” he whispered while tightening his hold. He was busy noticing the changes to his Jade. When did she become ‘his Jade’? he wondered.

 

“Yes. Y-you like it?”

 

“I like it.” He pulled her back closer to him. All his muscles tightened when he felt her softness.

 

She put her other free hand to his chest. She tried to push but he was immovable. She should be thankful because he still allowed air to circulate between their bodies.

 

“You’re beautiful, Jade.” Hawk praised huskily.

 

“T-thank you.” She gave slight push. “Hawk, I can’t breathe properly.”

 

Hawk loosened his hold a bit. This might be his only chance to be near her.

 

He didn’t know how to express his feelings with words. Those were inappropriate. His heavy-lidded eyes spoke volumes to her wide molten eyes. Hers were confused and dilated with unknowing arousal. 

 

‘I want you, Jade…’

 

His eyes spoke of all the things he wanted to do with her. He wanted to bury his face on that cleavage. He knew her fragrance.

 

‘Oh God, he’s so obsessed!’

 

He should never leave for Middle East. All he had accomplished was miss her. He was more crazed with her now. He would go insane if he didn’t have a taste of her.

 

They danced around the large room. Unknown to the guests, unknown to Jade, Hawk was making love with her. His fingers strumming her palm gently. Fanning the embers into a blaze. Creating a storm of desire.

 

It was crazy but he couldn't stop himself. He was playing with fire. Their faces were near to each other. The air they breathe were the same. They created a space that was their own.

 

Jade's eyes closed as though she couldn’t fight the heaviness of her eyelids. Her nostrils flared. Her lips half-opened when her breathing became heavier than before. He could smell her sweet breath.

 

"Stop it…" she moaned softly. She was stopping him and yet her body had become pliant. Her hips were embedded against him.

 

Hawk snapped out of the craziness. Almost. He could feel his desire swirling hot within his body. Setting him on fire. Burning him up…

 

He knew he was hurting himself more than Jade because he was the only one who lusted after her. She felt nothing for him except an interest for a creature like him.

 

Then the music stopped. For several seconds, they remained unmoving.

 

With a sob, Jade pulled at her hand he was holding. She was holding her fingers like they were pulsing. Her eyes reproached him before she turned away.

 

Hawk felt a mixture of relief and regret. He lost her fascination for him. He was labeled as the public enemy number one. He should be hanged like they did to criminals in the Middle Ages! Oh, it would be for the better…

 

Hawk watched Jade walk away from him. Her two-inch heels clicking crisply. Her carriage was erect. Her movements were stilted. She was smiling but her eyes were not.

 

Jade was churningly confused.

 

And he was the reason of her confusion. And anger.

 

Good! A tiny seed of cruelty reared its roots. He immediately killed it. Jade was innocent. She didn’t know all his carnal thoughts about her.

 

Hawk felt a momentary pang of loss. But it was for the better. He needed help to forget her. He wanted to stop lusting after her.

 

The tall and slim man was her next dance. He watched her until she reached the man of her own age. They whispered to each other. And when the next song started, they went to each other's arms and swayed to the music. This was a signal to other pairs to dance.

 

That was the way to dance. Tender and gentle. Not the dance Jade had suffered from Hawk. It was erotic and sensual. No wonder, she looked pale and shaken. Poor girl!

 

Hawk felt a moment of repentance. ‘Jonathan, I’m sorry. But I was obsessed with your daughter…’ He closed his tormented eyes.

 

He turned away to the tender scene. He thumped down the jealousy deep inside him and headed towards the group where his mother was part of.  His role was done. He had acted as her father, performing the first dance with her. 

 

When Jade was sixteen, his desire for her was inappropriate, to say the least. She was still a child.

 

And incestuous? She was his stepsister.

 

What about lecherous? She had done nothing to catch his amorous attention. She was just an affectionate child.

 

Now that she was eighteen, was it okay to lust after her? She just refused his advances. And why not? She already had a boyfriend--and Hawk was just a big brother.

 

Mentally, he shook his head. He should act as the son of his mother. After a few hours, he should go away again. He turned away with a heavy heart. His straight shoulder almost crumbled with the weight of his disappointment and hurt. Rejection felt very painful.

 

"Oh, Hawk, come and meet my amigas." Alicia was smiling as she introduced her group of friends. Some had their daughters with them. "You knew some of them, I'm sure."

 

He tried to be graceful. He stretched his mouth to resemble a smile.

 

 

CHAPTER FIVE

 

Hawk danced with the women. They were all beautiful. Most were available and some were in a complicated relationship. He was not interested in any of them. He was just glad that several were his age.

 

"Hi, Hawk! Long time no see. Remember me? Sonia?" A woman with heavy make-up and beringed fingers batted her eyelashes as she talked. Her big breasts were confined in the tight bodice of her long black dress. Her hips were ample. She was a short woman with borrowed height from skyscraper heels.

 

"Sonia. I remember you. I heard you got married. Belated congratulations," he acknowledged formally.

 

"Oh, it's condolences. Actually, Pablo, died in his sleep a few months ago. Poor man," Sonia purred while her eyes sized him up.

 

Hawk knew Pablo Echalas. The man was one of his late grandfather's friends. Poor old man, indeed.

 

"Care to dance?" Sonia whispered. A naughty smile played on her lips. 

 

Hawk inclined his head. "Sure." He let Sonia wrap her soft body around him. She danced almost indecently. Her hands crept up to his neck suggestively. But he felt nothing. He just felt irritated.

 

When he held Jade in his arms, it felt like heaven. They could dance the whole night. Her hand was smooth and soft. Her waist was small. Her hips just a little bit rounded. And her butt... his caressing palm itched to go down there.

 

He closed his eyes to relive the moment. Oh, Jade... 

 

His hands could do short work on her long skirt. He could bunch it around her waist and let his rampant desire conquer her.

 

"We could go somewhere, you know." Sonia's voice penetrated the fog in his brain. "I know what you want, lover boy."

 

He snapped his eyes open. They were behind a divider, made of stained capis. She was tiptoeing in front of him to kiss him on the mouth. Her arms went around his neck. Her breasts were flattened on his chest. Her embrace was too tight.

 

Sonia took his hands and guided them to her breasts. She mauled her softness, still holding his hands. Another man would get really excited but not Hawk. He remained still. But he wanted to forget Jade. He had to work hard to let himself feel the scene. He pinched Sonia’s nipples. His palms kneaded her body. He cupped her buttocks then pulled her to him.

 

She seemed to like it. She mewled and sighed and groaned aloud. Her hand had crept towards his front zipper.

 

“Don’t be loud,” he reprimanded her.

 

He closed his eyes once again, trying to drown himself on the French kiss that Sonia was giving him expertly. He could taste her lipstick. Her perfume was cloying. Her breath smelt of stale cigarette smoke and coffee. The kiss was full of saliva and definitely distasteful.

 

He stepped back suddenly. His hands disentangled her arms around his neck. He took a deep breath. It was useless. Sonia was not Jade.

 

Jade’s body had the firm softness of the young. Sonia’s body sagged and the curves were too heavy.

 

"My mother needs me. Excuse me," he muttered while zipping up his front.

 

He walked back towards Alicia while pulling out a handkerchief from his pocket. He surreptitiously wiped the lipstick stain from his skin. 

 

Hawk kept an eye on the clock as he made small talk with his mother and her other guests. His mother noticed this.

 

"We should dance, Hawk. It's been a long time," Alicia said suddenly.

 

"I thought you forgot how to dance," Hawk quipped, earning a sad smile from his mother. "I promise to call you more often." He whispered when they were circling the polished dance floor.

 

"Oh, Hawk, please do. I missed you," Alicia sighed. "It's so lonely here. If not for Jade, I might die because of loneliness. Jon always made me laugh..."

 

"I miss you, too, Ma." Hawk felt guilty. Their work was mostly complete. The bridge was complete. They were cleaning the edges and building small structures for the night watchers. He could leave the natives to get the job done.

 

"Jade brought her friends here to abate our loneliness. Many times, she makes us busy with the garden," his mother continued. "I am blessed because God gave me a daughter like Jade."

 

His mother had no idea her words were like rocks hammering at him. His guilt tripled over and over.

 

"Ma, I love you. Don't forget that," was all he could utter. He could not tell his mother the truth. It was too shameful. Too private. A sinful secret...

 

"I love you, too, son..." Alicia managed to smile tremulously before bursting to tears.

 

Hawk comforted his mother by pulling her close. He let her cry while swaying gently on the dance floor. He maneuvered them gently until they reached a secluded area with chairs. He let the older woman sat down, still crying. His handkerchief, which he used to wipe off Sonia's lipstick earlier, was already wet and crumpled. 

 

"What happened to Mommy Alicia?" Jade suddenly appeared beside them. She knelt before Alicia. "Mom Ali?"

 

"I—I'm alright now. I just remember Jon. I think he's happy now..." Alicia sniffed and mopped her tears. "Oh, Jade, your father would be proud of you. You've grown up into a fine lady!"

 

"Y-yes, Papa would be proud..." Jade turned to look up to him. Her chocolate eyes were full of questions.

 

Hawk were still trying to read them when her lashes flicked down to hide the confusion and awareness. She was blushing. Her satiny cheeks and smooth neck became rosy.

 

But he was not confused. Women had something in common. They flirt with their eyes. His heart started beating slow and heavy. She was getting aware of him!

 

The discovery had affected him differently. Instead of trying to turn away from her, he was magnetized. His sharp eyes followed her all through the night.

 

Hawk would often find himself getting green with jealousy. When somebody put their hands on Jade’s body, he’d like to punch their face and turn Jade to his arms.

 

Sonia remained at his perimeter. Observing him. Studying him. She was surrounded by admirers also, like Jade, but she had the hots on him. 

 

Sonia was the only reason why Hawk kept his distance from Jade. 

 

His whisky in the flask had dried out. He requested the waiter for a refill. He knew he should stop drinking but his left knee was hurting from prolonged standing. He carried the flask with him for that purpose. It was a bullet wound that needed another operation and proper recuperation. Hawk promised the doctor he would have those after the conflict.

 

The second flask was half-empty when the storm reached the area. A loud clap of thunder deafened them, followed by sharp fingers of lightning.

 

Hawk was instantly alert. He remembered her mother’s phobia against loud thunders. She had sufficiently recovered from her crying bout and was again circulating among her friends. But she crumbled instantly after the first clap of thunder.

 

"Hawk, I can't stand storms like this! Please, assist Jade with the guests. I-I must go to my r-room." His mother was trembling with fright. 

 

"Mommy Ali, I'll go up with you." Jade said determinedly. "You need to take off your dress."

 

"But the g-guest—" 

 

"I'll take care of them, Ma. Go up with Jade." Hawk said decisively. He heard the slight slur in his speech so he turned away from the two women.

 

Most of the guests were ready to leave. They wished Alicia and Jade ‘goodnight’ and ‘happy birthday’ through Hawk. The last ones to leave was Sonia—and the boyfriend.

 

Hawk let Sonia pulled him to one side and became very private with him. Unsurprised, he waited for her to say something. He remained still when she rubbed her breasts against his arm.

 

"Hawk, meet me at my home. The door will be open for you," she purred against his ear. "We'll continue the party on my bed." The suggestion was clear in her action. She pulled a calling card from between her breasts.

 

He took the card without a word. He planned to discard it later.

 

“I won’t say goodnight, lover boy…”

 

Hawk just nodded and watched her walk away, but she seemed to changed her mind and turned towards him again. Her eyes were teasing but shrewd.

 

“On second thoughts, I don’t want to be a stand-in for your lust.” She tiptoed once again to whisper to his ear. “Give it to your beloved stepsister!” she hissed.

 

When Sonia left, he was stunned. He didn’t know that he was that transparent. That someone had read his intense attention to Jade.

 

When he turned toward Jade’s boyfriend, the man was staring at him unblinkingly. Hawk was a bit unnerved. It seemed the stare was full of awe and adoration. He frowned because there was something not right.

 

“Jade should be here any minute. Care to have a nightcap?” Hawk decided to know more about the enemy. It was laughable of him to treat the boy as his equal. The fellow was tall and slim but still wet behind the ears.

 

“I… yes.” Jade’s boyfriend smiled nervously. What did Jade saw in this fellow? Hawk asked himself as he led the way towards the bar.

 

The caterers cleaned up fast and were ready to leave. “Mr. Luna, we will come back the next morning.” The leader, who was a woman of thirtyish, said goodbye.

 

“Okay.” Hawk escorted them to their van. When he came back, Jade’s boyfriend was waiting for him at the bar.

 

“What would you like to drink?” Hawk asked but he was already opening a bottle of whisky.

 

“Whatever you’re having.” The boy smiled, although his eyes still followed Hawk’s movement. His sharp gaze was assessing.

 

“Whisky on ice for you. Your name is—?”

 

“Ponz. My friends call me Ponz.”

 

Hawk downed his whisky in one gulp. “Why are you looking at me like that?” He asked a direct question.

 

Jade had asked him the same question earlier. But Ponz seemed undressing him…

 

“I-I-ah-ahh… I knew you… I just noticed some changes…”

 

Hawk got intrigued. “You knew me? What changes?”

 

“I lived at the house next door. I knew you before Jade. I was still a teenager and you were already a—a man.” Ponz turned red after taking a sip of the whisky. But he started to blabber.

 

“You’re the son of Mrs. Conchita.” Hawk nodded. He remembered ‘Ponz’.

 

“Yes… You’re leaner and you got a limp. Did you have an accident?”

 

“Sort of,” Hawk replied tersely. “I’m glad Jade has found a friend who lived nearby.” The words almost gagged him.

 

“Jade and I became very good friends from day one.” Ponz swallowed the remainder of whisky from the glass. “May I have another one, please?”

 

Hawk didn’t answer. He just poured another round for both of them.

 

Jade found them on their third round. Ponz was already half-asleep on the bar seat. Mumbling to himself how much he loved Jay. He kept sighing and moaning about ‘Jay’.

 

Hawk was gritting his teeth. ‘Jay’ meant ‘Jade’.

 

“Ponz, you’re drunk!” Jade exclaimed. She was wearing a loose dress. It was respectable, with long sleeves and below-the-knee skirt. But the material was gauzy. It left anything else to the imagination.

 

He would bet his whisky flask that she was not wearing a bra. Just a pair of panties…

 

Jade moved and the lights from the garden created a silhouette. Her breasts were unfettered and swung freely with her body. Hawk swallowed his whisky.

 

She was wearing a pair of rubber slippers. Her toe nails were painted white on the tips. Hawk frowned. How could he notice her toe nails when his problems would be how to resist looking at her?

 

Jade swayed with the wind. Her clothes clung to her figure one way and then the other. He could see the color of her panties. Something dark.

 

He also noticed that she was not looking at him directly. Though she glanced at him under her lashes. Frequently. Was she flirting…?

 

No. He shook his head mentally. He drank too many whisky.

 

“Noh, I’m nhot!” Ponz said defensively. “I ‘aven’t drink dis…” He squinted his eyes on the half-full whisky glass.

 

“C’mon, don’t worry. I’ll drink it for you. You must be home by now. Your mother will be worried for you.” Like a mother hen, Jade pulled away the whisky glass out of reach. “There’s a storm, just in case you forgot.”

 

Another loud clap of thunder, followed by a very bright lightning, vibrated through the house.

 

A muffled scream was heard. Alicia was awakened.

 

“It’s Mom Ali!”

 

Hawk was galvanized into action. “I’ll look after her. You sort out your boyfriend.”

 

“He’s not my boyfriend—”

 

“Jhay, I missh yhou…” Ponz wailed mournfully.

 

“Let’s take you home before it rains.” Jade spoke sternly. She pulled Ponz’s arms to help him stand up. “C’mon, march! There are five steps. Oh, what will Tita say? You should not touch alcohol! Your asthma might attack again!”

 

Ponz didn’t move after he stand up. He embraced Jade and whispered to her ear. She answered back but her voice was muffled.

 

Hawk heard Jade scolding Ponz. He felt guilty. He didn’t know Ponz’s asthma. He hoped drinking didn’t affect the condition.

 

At Jade’s urging, he started walking. They swayed on the way down but managed to reach the pavement across the garden.

 

The image remained in his mind, as Hawk turned away. Those two were close to each other. He was envious.

 

 

CHAPTER SIX

 

“Ma, are you alright?” He reached his mother’s room.

 

A large wad of blanket on the bed quivered. “Hawk, can you sit here for a while? I’m really scared!” 

 

“Okay, Ma. You don’t have to be scared. I’m here.” He patted the head part of the rolled blanket.

 

“Tell me stories,” was the muffled command. “What were the conditions of living in the dessert?”

 

Hawk took a seat beside the bed. The bulky blanket moved to give him more room.

 

“The living condition was mainly harsh but the government had provided us air-conditioned barracks and hotel-quality foods. We had doctors and nurses with us. And, of course, security. Armed men patrolled the site every minute.”

 

Alicia’s head appeared when she pulled down the blanket. Her face full of concern. Her fright of the storm momentarily forgotten.

 

“I’m afraid for you, Hawk. Can’t you transfer back here?”

 

“I will come back here when the project there is complete.” Hawk’s fingers tenderly massaged his mother’s forehead. “Go back to sleep, Ma. I will be right here.”

 

“You won’t go away while I was asleep?” She said sleepily.

 

“Flights have been cancelled due to the storm. I’ll call the airline again tomorrow.”

 

“Yes, bad weather…” Alicia went to sleep. Hawk noted the cup of tea standing at the bedside table. It was near empty. Clearly, Jade provided love and care for her stepmother.

 

He longed for the Jade of yesterday. When she would ran into him and snuggled against him… He could still feel her soft body as she hung on to his arm and her beautiful face looking up to him. She greeted him like a loyal and playful puppy. 

 

The Jade of today was aloof. Or rather, grown up. She dressed and moved like a lady. His mother’s influence, no doubt.

 

He closed his eyes. He had been making love with her while they danced. He almost lost control.

 

He remembered her glances at him under her lashes. If it’s not flirting, he didn’t know what was the meaning of those glances. He had been out of the party scene for a long time. Maybe, it didn’t mean a thing…

 

But he was hoping it did mean a thing!

 

Hawk snapped out of his short nap. He was half-sitting and half-lying on the headboard. His mother was sleeping deeply. He tucked the bedclothes around her.

 

His limp had worsened so he moved out of the room carefully. His coat was out of his arms when he reached the attic room. He undressed quickly and took a cold shower. He imagined the cold water sizzled as it flowed on his skin. He felt red-hot.

 

He was still highly aroused when he went back to his room. His left knee was hurting because of the cold water. He limped towards the flask and took a long swig. The whisky numbed the pain and his brain.

 

He was walking back and forth. He couldn't stop even though he was limping. He had a towel around his waist. His short hair was still dripping wet.

 

His flask had long been empty. He longed for a glass of whisky. His throat had dried because of thirst. Thirst for alcohol.

 

God, had he turned into an alcoholic? Damn!

 

He donned a shirt and a pair of old jeans. He sat on the bed, which was covered with a newly laundered bedcover. His mother had wasted her efforts because he was going away again. If not for the blasted storm…

 

Hawk snapped open his eyes. It was dark. Even the street lights were out, leaving the whole world inky black. The power was gone.

 

‘What time is it? Have I slept for long?’ He asked himself as he stood up slowly. He had been sleeping on and off.

 

He pressed the torchlight on of his cellphone. He had napped for only five minutes! He swayed slightly. His left knee was feeling blessedly numb.

 

He pocketed the cellphone still with torchlight on and felt his way out of the room. It was raining now.

 

He passed one of the windows when lightning struck but with muffled sounds of thunder. It illuminated the gardens for a few seconds. He paused when he saw something white moving towards the house.

 

Jade!

 

He descended the staircase of the attic and waited for her.

 

“Oh! Hawk! You startled me!” She was very wet. Her loose dress was plastered to her breasts and waist and hips.

 

Hawk saw all of these through the glow of the cellphone in his hand. His eyes looked hungrily at her. He felt himself leaning towards her.

 

Jade noticed this. She took a quick step backward. 

 

He heaved a deep breath. "My mother is sleeping. You're all wet. Go and change at once." He was turning away when Jade spoke again.

 

"I haven't thanked you," she said breathlessly. "I appreciate your coming home for my party. Thank you for being my first dance. Mommy Alicia and I were very glad..." She was holding herself tightly. Trembling from cold. 

 

Hawk nodded. "I'm glad, too. Now, go back to your room. Goodnight."

 

"I don't have light..."

 

Hawk almost groaned aloud. Wordlessly, he lighted her way. 

 

Her figure was put into a dim spotlight. All the glorious curves in motion. Her smoothly ponytailed hair were starting to unravel. Her waist and her hips swayed softly as she walked towards her room.

 

He swallowed with every step she took. He followed her slowly as though in a trance. She disappeared when she entered the opened door. He stopped by the entrance. His eyes widened suddenly. He couldn't believe what he was seeing.

 

Jade's back was facing the door. Her arms had just gotten rid of the wet dress. She was peeling it off her arms.

 

Hawk guessed correctly. She had no bra. He wanted to turn away from the scene but his eyes had a mind of their own. They feasted on the delectable view in front of them.

 

Jade slowly faced him. Her luminous eyes were unreadable but her lips were dewy. A mysterious smile was playing on them. Her arms remained by her side, then her hands moved. Her fingers slipped through her panties' garter and started to lower it. Her waist indented when she removed her panties. Seconds later, she was naked. He swallowed rapidly.

 

He gulped down his desire. But his desire was so huge, he couldn't banish it all. His mammoth lust was spreading wildly to his whisky-inebriated brain. He tried telling himself that Jade looked up to him as a big brother. But it was then...

 

Tonight, Jade was looking at him with heavy-lidded eyes. She was coming to him, step by step, as though following a straight line.

 

How could he resist this temptation?

 

His mouth had dried. His throat was hurting from taking deep breaths. It was hard to breathe…

 

"Jade..."

 

She was standing before him. He could see her lovely, chocolate eyes. He could almost taste the sweet breath coming from her luscious lips.

 

His cellphone had slipped off unnoticed. He didn't hear the loud thud because his ears were roaring. The torchlight was facing upward so there was still illumination.

 

"Jade... Get... dressed..." He commanded her yet his hands had splayed on her waist. He held on to her. His fingers indenting her soft flesh for a few moments.

 

When Jade stepped closer, his thumbs caressed her skin in circles. If he was dreaming, he didn't want to wake up yet.

 

"I must be dreaming," he muttered huskily. "Let this dream go on and on."

 

"Yes, I dream of you. Constantly," she whispered. "Hawk, kiss me..." She stood on tiptoe.

 

"Oh, Jade—"

 

He must have gone to heaven, he thought when he tasted her soft lips. Sweet like nectar. Soft like petals.

 

He rubbed his mouth against hers. She didn’t know how to kiss yet. She just followed his lead.

 

When she turned impatient, he suddenly held her jaw and slanted it the way he wanted it. Then he kissed her deeply. He closed his eyes when he imagined her lips crushing like the red petals of a flower. The kiss was sweeter.

 

Her hands held his head and clutched at his hair. His hands roamed her naked body. He cupped her butt and pulled her close.

 

He shed his shirt while kissing her lips. They separated for just a second to free his head from the shirt. Their lips met again and suck at each other.

 

Next, his belt buckle came undone and slipped down to the floor. His briefs followed.

 

All movements ceased. He savored the moment when he felt his skin against her skin. His breath almost evaporated. He had dreamed of scenes like this many times. The real thing was happening. He couldn’t believe it.

 

“Oh, Jade, Jade…”

 

Hawk muttered her name when he slowly kissed her neck. He found the shell-like shape of her ear. He delicately laved it with his tongue. He savored the sweet taste of her skin.

 

“I’m ticklish…” She said, giggling slightly.

 

“Tickle me, too…” He whispered to her, gently rubbing her breasts against his chest.

 

She moaned loudly. She had closed her eyes. Her face upturned. Her lips half-opened. Breathing deeply. Very much aroused.

 

“I’d like to do this ever since we met,” he said faintly. “Your breasts have been beckoning me to do things that are sinful… and pleasurable!”

 

“Oh, yes, kiss my breasts!”

 

His mouth mapped the perfectly shaped mountains of smooth flesh. He worshipped the twin pearls with his tongue repeatedly until her body shook.

 

She raised her leg and wrapped around his hips. Her arms were holding on to his muscular neck.

 

“I want… I want… oh!”

 

“Say what you want, Jade…” His voice had become guttural.

 

“I want you, Hawk!” She said with a sob.

 

“I thought I’d never hear those words, Jade.” His strong arms carried her. Through the cellphone’s torchlight, he could make out the bed.

 

He laid her on the bed and covered her softness with his body. He closed his eyes as he started to kiss her breasts… 

 

Puff! 

 

Hawk suddenly woke up. He was in his room, half-lying on his face on the bed. His lips kissing the pillow. It was just really a dream! A wet dream!

 

He was disgusted with himself because he had 'cum' in his jeans. It was embarrassing. He had never done that as a grown man. Lost control. Let go...

 

He donned a clean pair of jeans swiftly. Because his knee was hurting once again, he took a sip and brought his whisky flask. He went out of the room and down the staircase. He had a weird sense of déjà vu. He had seen all these from his dream. He even had his cellphone in his pocket.

 

The whole old house was creaking, as was always the case with old houses. The wind was whistling eerily. He paused at the landing of the next stairway. His mother might awaken.

 

His feet had a mind of their own when he made his way towards Jade's room. He told himself he was just making sure she got home safely. 

 

'You want to be sure Jade was at home and not at Ponz's house.' A small voice in his mind whispered.

 

Her door was not locked. Hawk opened it. He didn't hear the creak of the hinges above the thunderous beating of his heart. His eyes went around the dim room.

 

Jade was nowhere. Hawk went to knock at the bathroom. He even opened it, afraid that she had fallen asleep in the bath.

 

He went outside the balcony. There was a garden chair and a glass table. He sat on the chair.

 

From here, he could see the house of Mrs. Conchita. He could make out the small gate where Ponz and Jade had disappeared.

 

He settled on the creaking chair. It was cold outside but he was determined to wait for her.

 

What if Jade stayed the night at Ponz’s house?

 

The question suddenly appeared in his mind. What then? A small voice taunted him.

 

Hawk felt his jealousy started to rise like a volcano. He thumped the emotion right away. He was just obsessed with his stepsister. He would let it pass…

 

He closed his eyes and was immediately bombarded with images of Jade and Ponz, locked in each other’s arms and kissed each other’s lips. He shook his head and stood up. He was coming after her!

 

A sound heralded her entrance to the room. He breathed easily. Like a voyeur, he watched her peel off the dress. It was damp. The rain had started pouring.

 

He was not feeling the rain. His concentration was fixed on the naked woman. All her glorious shape on display in plain view. Her legs moved with unconscious sexiness. Her hips swayed sensuously while her hands were up in her hair. She was taking a shower.

 

Watching her in motion was an erotic experience already. He sat up arrested until she was out of view. He could imagine all her actions in the bathroom. She donned the shower cap. She entered the shower cubicle daintily. Under the fine spray, she lathered the soap on her arms, on her breasts, waist, navel, and her long legs…

 

He could not take the torturous thoughts anymore. He was about to come to the bathroom when she went out the bedroom. Her skin still wet and dewy. She was rubbing a towel all over her body.

 

 

CHAPTER SEVEN

 

Hawk focused on her face. Jade had a dreamy smile on her lips. She seemed tipsy. Maybe, she did drink the whisky for Ponz.

 

Still facing the mirror, she let down her glossy hair. She had it cut to shoulder-length. He remembered her hip-long hair. He hoped she’d grow it again.

 

At last, Jade switched off the overhead light and walked towards the bed. She slept with only a night light in the bathroom. The street lights from outside the house provided an illumination as well.

 

With a sigh, she lay down and covered herself with the sheet. She slept in the nude. In seconds, she was relaxed and breathing regularly.

 

As though in a trance, Hawk opened the glass door noiselessly and crossed the distance to her bed. Jade slept like a trusting child. Her arms were spread upwards. The sheet kicked by her feet. Her long, shapely legs in full view. Her perfect breasts rose like twin mountains with peaks that invited a man's touch.

 

'Not any man. Mine alone,' Hawk told himself. Before he knew it, his left hand caressed her under breast. He gently kneaded it until he reached the tip. When it pebbled, he closed his eyes. He wanted to savor the sensation. It shoot to his groin.

 

He felt the thrill doubled. His lust sprouted out in all directions. He wanted to touch her slowly. He wanted to kiss her gently. He felt he would burst with the blaze of his desire.

 

When he opened his eyes, it was dark. He was momentarily blank. He could not see anything. He blinked and blinked. He turned towards the windows. The power was out. It was like in his dream…

 

His burgeoning desire refused him when he tried to turn away. His hand still cupped her breast. Just this once...

 

His hand felt the other breast lightly, emboldened by darkness. Touching the satiny flesh, he ducked her head to taste it. His nostrils flared when he encountered the womanly smell on Jade's smooth skin. His tongue swooped down to the tip. When it hardened, he laved the pearl with his tongue.

 

‘Heaven…’ he thought deliriously.

 

He kissed it open-mouthed. Its tip tickled his palate. His tongue played with it. His head started to rise but his mouth could not leave the hardened tip. He suckled it.

 

Jade arched her back. Hawk stopped.

 

“What the—? Why is it dark?” She asked sleepily.

 

Hawk did not answer. He continued suckling gently.

 

Jade moaned. She arched her back and held Hawk's head with two hands. She gave a deep moan when he bit the pink tip then his tongue wiped the teeth marks.

 

“Oooh…”

 

“You like that?” he asked throatily. He swiped the sensitive tip with his tongue several times.

 

“Yes, yes…” She trashed on her bed, moaning. "Oh, please, please..." She squealed in whispers.

 

Her whispered moans were like a fan to his fire. It had turned his desire into a roaring flame. Lust pushed him to do things he wouldn't do normally. Like eat his stepsister until she cried hoarsely.

 

“P-please, stop—” Jade’s action was contrary to her words. Her hands still held his head tightly, guiding his mouth towards her other breast.

 

Hawk sucked the other tip, already pebble-like. His nose was drowning with her flowery fragrance but he couldn’t stop. He had gone crazy with hunger. He had been longing for her for two years.

 

His mouth foraged her smooth neck and silky jaw. His lips found hers. His tongue scooped her tongue from its resting place. They swirled around. Dipping from each other's mouth. Sipping at one another. Savoring its sweetness. Tasting the whisky on each other's breath.

 

He removed his clothes one by one. He was waiting for the other shoe to drop. Meaning, he would stop if she would start screaming.

 

But no scream came out until he was also naked. They were skin to skin. She was as hungry as he was. Her hands and mouth searched his body until she found the erogenous zones, which she exploited with wet kisses.

 

“Yes, touch me, touch me…” Hawk invited as her hands explored his face. His mouth delved into her cleavage slowly. There was no reason to hasten the moments of pleasure.

 

She gave a long groan when she touched his hairy chest. Her fingers followed the arrowing of hair downwards, until they encountered his very erect shaft. He stopped breathing. When she caressed it with her two hands, his breathing resumed.

 

“Yes, stroke it… Like that… Oh…” He groaned as she pinched the head slightly.

 

“You like it? Oh, Hawk…!” It was her turn to moan when his fingers burrowed into her feminine folds gently.

 

He was consumed by lust bit by bit. One minute, he told himself he would stop. And then he would forget why he should stop.

 

Stop what? This heavenly feeling? Stop Jade while she kissed his chest, his flat nipples…? No, of course not!

 

He closed his eyes as sensation upon sensation flailed his body. An earthquake seemed to shake him from within. This woman could do this to him.

 

Because he was drunk, both illusion and reality had intermeshed until he didn’t care anymore. The amazing thing was Jade respond to him. She seemed in lust as he was. Her reaction to him was encouraging.

 

His lips inched the side of her breast, the concave of her waist, the scented roundness of her hip down to her shapely leg. He worshipped the pagan altar of her femininity.

 

“Hawk… Hawk…” She chanted his name thickly. She writhed under his mouth. "Please, please, I want it. Take me… take me now," she urged with a catch on her breath.

 

"Shh... Patience… " He positioned her body. He rained small kisses on her hair, her brow, her cheek, her eyes, and her nose.

 

He kissed her lips tenderly until she opened up and the kiss turned ferocious. He bit her curvy under lip, then sip it hard. His mouth opened on hers while his tongue swiveled in and out, mimicking the act of copulation.

 

He lost his head totally. His long-time wish was about to be a reality. Could he really make Jade his own?

 

“Ah, Jade, you’re mine…!”

 

At last, he lost control. He wanted his time with her to last the night but he could not take any longer.

 

He lunged at her, catching her at first try. He heard her startled cry. He felt a tearing sensation.

 

“Oh!” She opened her mouth against his shoulder.

 

“Sorry—” He paused for a moment but couldn't stop. He closed his eyes. Heaven…

 

He plunged into her to make them one. He growled when he heard her muffled groan. Her teeth were biting his neck. It was painful but he ignored it. The feeling had been glorious.

 

“Jade…” He paused again on top of her.

 

She groaned again when he pulled out slowly. Her legs wrapped around his hips.

 

"No, don’t leave..." she muttered huskily.

 

Rivulets of sweat rolled down his face. He fought for control but she did not help. She kept on squirming. Her hips, which he had impaled, kept wriggling. He could feel every ridge of his erection inside her.

 

He started plunging in and out. Slowly at first. Giving her the chance to catch the rhythm. It was not long before her hips went up of their own accord to receive his every thrust. Her arms were holding him to her. Her legs were keeping him her prisoner.

 

But Hawk didn’t mind. His body was the master and became merciless. His thrusts became faster gradually. His sweat went to all directions while his body undulated on to her softness. His hips pummeled her with all the pent-up yearning for two years. If she was shocked, she hadn’t shown it. She accepted all the lust that he had in his body.

 

“Oh, sweet…!” He didn’t know how to describe the feeling. It just happened.

 

A fierce orgasm, as huge as a tsunami, flowed to the two lovers suddenly. The pureness... The gloriousness... The beauty of completion came followed by exhaustion.

 

Jade rolled to one side the moment he released her and promptly went back to sleep. Hawk could not rest. His conscience immediately bombarded him. His eyes remained open, staring unseeingly in the darkness. He was silently wishing that he was just dreaming.

 

But no, he was wide awake. What he both dreaded and desired happened. He made Jade his.

 

'What have I done?' He asked himself over and over again. 

 

Jade was still young. She was just in college. She deserved a youth's life, the innocence of first love, not the lust of a lecherous aging man.

 

Twenty-seven years old was not yet aging but to a girl who was just eighteen…

 

His hand felt her honeyed curves. He was tempted to take her again but his conscience shouted louder. He spread the sheet on her nakedness.

 

“Ponz…” Jade said inaudibly but he heard her clearly.

 

Hawk could not breathe for a moment. His head pulsed while images of Ponz and Jade at the party flashed back. He had observed that they were intimate with each other.

 

His hand supported his head because it wanted to explode. He staggered towards the door.

 

He didn't stop flagellating his self even after he felt his way to the attic room. His bad knee was hurting like hell. And no wonder. He forced the torn tendon, on the quest of pleasure. 

 

‘Ponz…’ Jade had said the name lovingly.

 

Hawk had committed two sins: coveting one’s stepsister and stealing one’s partner. He sneered at himself while fighting the desire to go back to Jade’s room and awaken her… and shake her so that she would know that he was the man who brought her such ecstasy.

 

He walked back and forth. He combed his overlong hair and clutched them. His head was bursting with mirages of Jade crying when she woke and discovered his debauchery… of Jade hurling accusations at him because he forced her… of Jade cold and distant to him…

 

‘What have I done?’

 

He donned the clothes he wore arriving here. Even though exhausted and had a hangover, he couldn't rest. He would wait for his mother to wake up.

 

The next morning arrived wet but peaceful. The storm had left after a short pouring of rain, drenching the garden. Electricity had also come back.

 

"The plants needed the extra water," Alicia joked laughingly. “Although we needed to dig in some places.”

 

"I'm happy you found a hobby that makes you busy, Ma." He sipped his coffee. His mind was running in eternal circles. He tried hard to make it appear he wasn't in a hurry to leave.

 

"Jade introduced me to gardening."

 

"Mmm." He finished his coffee. "By the way, I called the airport. Flights have resumed." He lied.

 

"Oh, you're going? Wait, I'll fetch Jade. She will want to thank you."

 

"No need, Ma. We were able to talk last night." He tensed at what his mother suggested.

 

He didn’t remember if they really talked last night. He couldn’t wait to go. How could he face Jade in the morning?

 

Hawk kissed his mother's cheek. "Bye, Ma. I'll call you everyday. Promise!”

 

“Write to us, Hawk. And give us a call whenever you can.”

 

“Yes, I will,” he promised again. He would call every day because he had forgotten to use protection last night…

 

A few minutes later, he had checked in a hotel nearby the airport. He slept the whole day away although he didn't feel rested when he woke up. Images of Jade disturbed him, naked and tempting. Her smell and her touch would haunt him. If she was near, he would want her over and over again...

 

*****

 

Jade woke up with a full bladder. She hurriedly got up the bed and went to the bathroom. Her eyes were still half-closed. Her tiredness was understandable. She had a birthday party last night. And days to prepare for it. She was very fortunate to have Mommy Alicia for support.

 

Sleepily, she was about to return to bed when she slipped. Her head banged on the toilet bowl. She tried to soften the fall by holding onto the shower curtain. It ripped and she ended up with a cut on her forehead. She was unconscious for a minute or two. She found herself lying on the tiled floor and with her head bleeding slightly.

 

She washed the blood at the lavatory sink. The wound was small but she was still dizzy. She patted a clean cloth to stop the bleeding.

 

"Mommy Alicia, I banged my head on the toilet bowl this morning," Jade announced when she went down for breakfast.

 

Alicia was examined Jade’s head clinically. She felt around with her hand. "Did your wound bleed?"

 

"A little. I put two bandages on it." Jade poured coffee in a mug. "Where's Hawk?"

 

"Gone." The older woman was still inspecting the cut. It was small. "Hawk said you two talked last night."

 

Jade couldn't remember a thing. After their dance, and he acted most abominably then, she steered clear of him.

 

"Um, yes, a bit." She opted for a white lie. Or maybe, they had. After the party, things had become hectic. There was the storm and Mom Ali’s fright of thunder.

 

“How do you feel, Jade?”

 

"Fine. A little dizzy, but maybe because I’m tired a bit."

 

"I think you should take a long rest. I'll call the doctor." Alicia was decisive so Jade had to go back to her room.

 

In her room, she looked in the mirror to make herself presentable. She noticed another bruise. She had bitten her bottom lip when she slipped. She applied lipstick to conceal it.

 

And when she turned to her bed, she saw blood. Did her monthly period start? But she recalled the head wound. She had lied back there because she was dizzy.

 

Jade was silent when the doctor and Mommy Alicia came to her room. She was feeling sleepy.

 

"Call me immediately if Jade felt nauseous, although the cut looks like contusion rather than a concussion." The doctor applied a new bandage to the small head wound.

 

Jade stayed in her room the whole day. She slept dreamlessly.

 

The following days were uneventful. Mommy Alice talked about Hawk endlessly.

 

“You missed Hawk.” Jade said one day. “Didn’t he call last Sunday?”

 

“Oh, didn’t I tell you? He called me everyday! He was always asking about you. But yes, I still missed my son very much. He maybe the silent-type but he could very thoughtful to me.”

 

Jade was envious of Mom Ali. Hawk was a loving son if not demonstrative. But she didn’t believe that he was asking about her…

 

After a month, a bout of stomach ache attacked Jade. She vomited all the content of her stomach.

 

“What have you eaten this morning or yesterday?” Mom Ali asked shrewdly.

 

Jade had orange juice and a toast. She didn’t like the smell of coffee. She told Mom Ali her about her new-found dislike of coffee.

 

“I don’t like the smell of coffee.”

 

“You don’t like our coffee?” Mom Ali asked tensely.

 

“Maybe, I don’t like the brand. Let’s change it the next time we buy the grocery.”