Julia snuggled up next to Guy and waited for her breathing to return to normal, which was difficult when she was still tingling from an intense orgasm. She flung an arm over her forehead and chuckled, savoring the moment of pure happiness.

They’d arrived back in Atlanta with plenty of time to meet--and ultimately have dinner with--Guy’s friend’s, all of whom she instantly liked. Bear had given her the sniff of approval, going straight for her crotch when she’d walked into Guy’s apartment, then he’d sniffed all over her, evidently following his master’s scent.

Julia didn’t know what she’d expected Guy’s apartment to be like, but the modern contemporary blended with traditional antiques wasn’t it. Naturally he’d spent the majority of his decorating budget on electronics--a big screen TV, an expensive stereo system as well as the newest entertainment toys. “Playstation?” she’d teased, quirking a brow at him.

“Don’t knock it til you try it, baby. I’ll take you on in Ultra Mega Smackdown any day.”

Sweet Lord. Everything about him--even his video games--was ultimately endearing. Now she was a hopeless case when that happened.

“What are you thinking about?” Guy asked.

She chuckled. “I thought that was supposed to be my line?”

“Smart ass.”

“Do you really want to know?”

“I wouldn’t have asked otherwise.”

“I was thinking about you and your games and how I find you completely adorable.”

He sighed, evidently pleased. “Adorable is nice...but I prefer sexy.”

Julia rolled closer and pressed a kiss against his naked chest. “We’ve already established that.” She sighed. “I liked your friends,” she said. “They’re great.”

This time it was his turn to chuckle. “And they liked you, too. Audrey and Emma both made sure to take me aside and sing your praises, though Emma was a bit confused over what you looked like.”

“What? Why?”

“She thought you had red hair.”

“Red hair? But--“ Then it hit her and mortification swiftly followed. “The mug shot,” she breathed. “I knew Payne had seen it, but I didn’t realize he’d passed it around.” Julia rubbed a hand over her face and laughed helplessly. “Quick. Find me a hole.”

Guy laughed and hauled her up closer against him. “You don’t need a hole, goofball. They thought it was funny.”

“It was humiliating.” A thought struck. “You have to delete that from your phone.”

“Okay.”

He’d agreed too readily, making Julia suspicious. “You don’t mind?”

“No.” She heard the smile in his voice. “I’ve already emailed it to my computer.”

She whacked him playfully. “You’re horrible. Have you ever been arrested?” Julia asked. “I think I should have a mug shot of you.”

“Sorry to disappoint you, but no.”

“Really?” she asked.

“You sound surprised,” Guy said, chuckling.

“Well, you are a bad ass,” she reminded him. “Most bad asses usually end up in jail at one point or another.”

“This one kept his nose clean.”

She hummed under her breath, feigning disappointment. “Okay. I’ll simply have to think of something else.”

Guy’s laugh rumbled next to her ear. “You do that.”

“Does Emma know about the wedding yet?”

“Nope.”

Julia frowned, considering things. “I don’t get it. What possible reason is he giving her to get her into the wedding gown tomorrow?”

“Pictures,” Guy said, sighing softly.

“Pictures? Already?”

“He’s a planner, remember?”

“Wow,” Julia said, impressed. “He’s really thought of everything, hasn’t he?”

Guy let go a soft breath. “He’s not called The Specialist for nothing.”

“The Specialist?”

“His nickname.”

“Oh. Did you all have nicknames?”

He chuckled again, the sound intimate and sexy between them. “Mostly we just called each other bastards.”

Julia laughed. “Men,” she said. “And guys say women are complicated.”

A soft sigh stuttered out of Guy’s mouth. “Jamie and I didn’t have a nickname, but I guess Danny did. We always called him Danny Boy. You know, like the song.”

“I love that song,” Julia said softly.

“Like Jamie, Danny was Irish so it fit. Both of them had Irish grandmothers.”

Here was her chance, Julia thought. If she was ever going to have an opening to try and help him see the truth, this was it.

Still, she hesitated, not altogether certain he wanted to hear her opinion on the subject. Oh, well, Julia thought. There were lots of things that people didn’t necessarily want to hear, but that didn’t change the fact that they needed to hear it.

“Guy, there’s something I’ve been wanting to talk to you about,” she began.

“What?”

“Danny’s death. You know it’s not your fault, don’t you?”

She felt him tense beside her. “Julia, I know that you’re only trying to help, but this is something that you don’t know anything about. Please,” he said, his voice hardening. “Leave it.”

Just as she expected. She released a shaky breath. “Actually, that’s not true. I listened when you told the new team about the mission when Danny was killed.”

“They got the abbreviated version. Let it go.” His voice rang with a warning she knew she should heed, and yet curiously couldn’t.

“You said you were ambushed. If you were ambushed, then how could it be your fault?”

Guy sprang up from the bed. “What the hell are you doing?” he demanded. “I don’t want to talk about this with you. I’m not going to.”

“You helped me,” she said simply. “I want to help you and I think I can.”

“Bullshit,” Guy snapped. “If I want your help, then I’ll ask for it. This is none of your damned business. Don’t try to get inside my head and start mucking around with your therapist talk, Julia. It’s insulting.”

She blinked, taken aback by the attack. “I just--“

“Just nothing,” he interrupted. “You don’t know, dammit,” he said, striding away from her.

“I know that if you were ambushed then it couldn’t have been your fault, that it hadn’t been preventable. I know that you’re drowning in your own grief and punishing yourself for something that you didn’t have any control over. And I know that as long as you keep blaming yourself, you’re insulting your friend.”

He whirled on her. “Insulting my friend?” he asked in a dangerously low voice.

“His memory,” Julia clarified, terrified that she’d crossed a line, but too far over to stop now.

She watched Guy go dangerously still and knew that she’d gone too far. “Guy, listen to me. I--“

“I can see that this was a mistake,” he said. “It’s late. I’ll call you a cab and have your car returned to you tomorrow.”

What? No! “Guy, please--“

“I’ll wait in the living room while you get dressed and collect your things.” And without another backward glance, he turned and walked out of the room.

Out of her life.

So that was it, then, Julia thought resignedly, her heart breaking. Tears burned the backs of her lids and the ache in her chest threatened to choke the life right out of her, but she refused to cry. This had been inevitable. She’d known that. What was that old saying again? When you’re dumb you’ve got to be tough.

And she felt like the ultimate fool.

 

*   *   *

 

“Where’s Julia?”

The next person who asked him that was going to get cold-cocked, friend or not.

Guy glanced at Jamie and felt his jaw harden. “I sent her home.”

“Home?” he asked, surprised. “Why?”

“She started psychoanalyzing me and I didn’t care for it,” Guy said, inserting enough warning into his voice to dissuade further conversation.

Jamie smiled knowingly. “Let me guess. She wanted to talk about Danny.”

He snorted. “She doesn’t know what the hell she’s talking about, dammit, and yet she keeps insisting that--“

“--that it’s not your fault,” he finished. “Audrey did the same thing to me. I thought I told you that.”

Guy shook his head. “No.” He knew that Jamie had come back from Audrey’s camp a changed man, but had just always assumed that he’d made his own peace.

He got the grim suspicion he was about to learn otherwise.

Jamie laughed, remembering. “She hammered away at me the entire week I was there, man. Like a dog with a bone.”

“What did you do?”

“Changed the subject. Distracted her with sex. Walked away.” He smiled. “Then she rowed me out into the lake--in late September, no less--and set in on me, thinking that she’d trapped me, that I’d have to talk to her.”

Guy felt his jaw drop. Little Audrey? Wow. Now that took balls. He’d be hard pressed to try and trap Jamie his own self. “What did you do?”

Jamie laughed. “What the hell do you think I did? I told her that I was a friggin’ Ranger, by God, and I dove out of the boat and started swimming for shore.”

Guy laughed, not the least bit surprised. He could certainly see Jamie doing just that. “What did she do?”

“That was the amazing part,” Jamie said. He searched the crowded reception room until his gaze landed on his wife and a wondering expression came over his face. “She dove in after me.”

“Really?” Guy asked, stunned.

Jamie nodded. “And I know you don’t want to hear this, partner, but hearing her out changed my life. For the better, as I’m sure you’ve noticed.” His gaze turned speculative. “Women think differently from men, see things in a way that guys oftentimes can’t grasp. Pride and grief have a way of eroding logic.” He paused. “I hope you didn’t run her off because she was trying to tell you that Danny’s death wasn’t your fault. Because it wasn’t.”

Him, too? Guy thought. Dammit to hell, why couldn’t everyone leave him alone and let him grieve the way he wanted to, the way he deserved to. “I was unit commander,” Guy said harshly. “And I lost a man.”

“And I was supposed to have his back and I missed it.”

“You didn’t miss it--you were ambushed. How the hell were you supposed to prepare for that?” Guy demanded.

Jamie smiled knowingly. “Exactly.”

“I orchestrated the mission,” Payne said, having walked up on the tail end of the conversation. “We used my strategy. Technically, it could be my fault as well.”

“It’s your wedding day,” Guy said, disgusted at the tag team effort the two of them had going on. “We shouldn’t be talking about this.”

“You’re wrong,” Payne said. “We should have talked about it a long time ago.”

“Danny was our friend, Guy, and we miss him, but he would be miserable--insulted even--if he knew that we were blaming ourselves for something that came as a risk of the job.”

Insulted? Guy thought, remembering Julia’s comment from last night. An uneasy tingling started in the small of his back and settled in his stomach.

“He’d hate it,” Payne said. “And the best way to honor his memory is to stop blaming ourselves and celebrate the life he lived, not perpetually mourn the one he lost.”

Jamie clapped him on the back. “He wouldn’t want this, man, and not minding your business, but if Julia was special enough to bring home to meet us, then she’s worth fighting for.”

“You flew off the handle and ran that mouth, didn’t you?” Payne said. He tsked under his breath. “Emma and Audrey said that it’s obvious that she’s crazy about you. You can fix it.”

He sure as hell would like to know how, Guy thought, feeling the first quickening of dread and misery unwinding in his gut.

You helped me. I want to help you.

And he’d shut her out and belittled and berated her for her trouble.

He was an ass, Guy decided. A stupid, miserable ass.

“Is there anything we can do?” Payne asked.

“Go on your honeymoon,” Guy told him. “It’s bad enough I’ve dumped this shit on you at your wedding.”

Payne smiled at his bride, so in love it made Guy’s own chest ache. “It went off without a hitch.”

Jamie snorted. “You wouldn’t allow a hitch.”

And there was that, Guy thought. “Look, guys... I just want you to know--”

“We already do,” Payne told him.

Jamie grinned. “Hell, we’re friends, aren’t we?”

The best ones, Guy thought, humbled and touched and altogether blessed with their part in his life. He’d always known it, of course, but never had it been made more clear to him in this instant.

“You don’t have to hang around here,” Payne told him. “Emma and I are leaving shortly.” He smiled at him. “Go get your girl.”

Payne certainly knew what he was talking about when it came to that. They’d all loaded up and went after Emma for him.

Guy rubbed the back of his neck. “I--“

“Go get her, Guy,” Jamie insisted. “She’s the one for you. I knew it the instant I saw her.”

He had, too, Guy thought. And he’d been terrified ever since.

“Any ideas on how you’re going to win her back?” Jamie wanted to know.

Guy wracked his brain, knew that it was going to take something more than a mere I’m-dumb-ass-please-forgive-me. Besides, Julia deserved better. She deserved a grand gesture, something that she would know he’d done just for her.

And then it hit him. “Is her file still in the office?”

Payne nodded.

“Good,” he said, suddenly energized with a purpose. “I need a pirate costume and if she doesn’t come bail me out of jail, one of you bastards will have to do it.” He looked at Jamie. “It’ll have to be you, Flanagan. Payne’s going to be busy.”

Jamie gaped and Payne’s jaw went slack. “A pirate costume?”

“Bail you out of jail?”

Guy grinned at both of them, then congratulated Payne and slapped him on the arm. “Bye, guys. I’ve got a treasure to find.”

And her name was Julia.