Chapter Seventeen
There is nothing to make a soul so fulfilled as finding purpose, and nothing to bring as much joy as searching outside of one’s self for it. Being consumed with one’s own affairs overly much is a sure way to invite misery and discontent. A good heart is a fine thing to possess indeed.
-The Spinster Chronicles, 20 February 1818
The evening had begun over half an hour ago, and still Lady Edith had not arrived.
Georgie barely avoided wringing her hands together as she paced the floor. She had delivered the invitation to Lady Edith personally, and had been assured she was coming.
The evening was specifically designed with her in mind, for pity’s sake!
“Georgie, do calm yourself,” Aunt Faith murmured with a hint of scolding. “It is not attractive to behave so. What would your mother say?”
“That an anxious woman never gained a thing,” Georgie uttered without thinking. “I know that one.”
Her aunt harrumphed and nudged her husband, whose almost bored expression hardly changed. “What, Faith?” he grumped. “I’m wondering where the lady is, too. All the other guests have arrived, including Georgie’s new beau.” There was a suggestive note in his voice, and Georgie turned to look at him with a raised brow.
Her uncle chuckled easily. “I’m only saying, Georgie, that it is hard to sustain a courtship from separate rooms.”
“Tony doesn’t mind, Papa,” Izzy broke in helpfully. “He’s a good sort, and he wants Lady Edith here as well.”
“Hush, Izzy,” Aunt Faith scolded quickly. “He is Georgie’s beau. When you have one, you may speak of him.”
Izzy rolled her eyes and shook her head at Georgie as she headed for the front of the house.
Georgie was not going to comment on that, for fear of lashing out at her aunt, and that would not help anyone, least of all Izzy.
But where was Lady Edith?
Had Georgie and Izzy intimidated her? Had they somehow misunderstood when they visited her? Did she not want their friendships? Had they gone too far?
So many questions, so many mixed emotions, and absolutely no answers.
The evening would not be a loss if she didn’t come, but the disappointment would be crushing.
At least her courtship with Tony had begun officially, and she could be seen going to him for comfort, though it would have to be more composed than she would have liked.
Flinging herself on him wouldn’t do if she wanted to keep above rumors and speculation. She wasn’t prone to dramatic displays as it was, so the odds of her doing that no matter the circumstances were low.
Still, it might have been an entertaining spectacle, and Tony would have no idea what to do, or that it was coming. His expression would have been rather hilarious and imagining it might have been enough to satisfy her.
“She’s here!” Izzy suddenly squealed as she dashed back to them.
“Oh, good,” Aunt Faith said under her breath. “Though it is rather deplorable manners to show up so tardy.”
“Don’t tell her that, Faith,” Uncle Lambert told her. “We are warm and welcoming, and grateful to have her here.”
Aunt Faith glared at him briefly. “Yes, of course, we are. But the fact remains…”
Georgie ignored them both and smiled as Lady Edith finally appeared, looking enchanting in a green muslin that enhanced her eyes so perfectly. She hurried down the corridor towards them, an apology no doubt on her lips.
“Lady Edith,” Izzy said quickly before any apology could come forth. She curtseyed and held out her hands. “We’re so delighted that you could join us.”
Izzy’s warmth could have thawed an entire winter, and Lady Edith looked both bewildered and delighted by it.
“Thank you, Miss Lambert,” she replied, smiling prettily. “It is a pleasure to be here. I pray you’ll excuse my tardiness…”
“No need, no need,” Uncle Lambert told her with a congenial smile. “My daughter is quite right, we are delighted to have you.” He bowed, and Georgie could have kissed him for his goodness.
Aunt Faith curtseyed and smiled as best she could, gesturing for her to proceed into the drawing room where the others had gathered.
Izzy took Lady Edith’s arm, and Georgie followed, smiling in her relief.
The night would be well now, no matter what transpired.
“Are you settling, Lady Edith?” Izzy asked, rubbing her arm. “We descended upon you so suddenly after your arrival.”
Lady Edith chuckled easily. “Oh, yes, we’re quite settled now. You’d hardly recognize the place if you saw it. And please, do call me Edith. I’ve never enjoyed formalities.”
“That’s fortunate,” Georgie replied. “We hate them ourselves.”
“What do you hate?” Charlotte queried as she approached them. “I adore hating things, do tell me.”
Edith looked intrigued by that but said nothing.
“Formality,” Georgie informed her.
Charlotte shuddered delicately. “I despise formality. I never use it if I can help it. No point to it at all.”
“Some would disagree with you,” Izzy broke in, shaking her head.
Charlotte shrugged. “No matter.” She looked at Edith with interest. “You must be Lady Edith Leveson.”
Edith inclined her head, smiling a little. “I am.”
“This is Charlotte Wright,” Georgie told her quickly, knowing that Charlotte despised protocol almost as much as formality. “She’s one of the Spinsters, too.”
“Charmed.” Edith bobbed a quick curtsey, then tilted her head in question, as if she could sense that Charlotte was not through.
And, of course, she wasn’t.
Charlotte nodded thoughtfully, her lips curving slightly. “I’ve heard that you were only married for about five minutes.”
“Charlotte!” Izzy gasped, pulling Edith closer to her. “Don’t!”
“It’s all right,” Edith said, patting Izzy’s hand. “I’ve heard it all in Derby. I was not married long at all, Miss Wright, but married I was, so the status remains.”
Georgie gnawed the inside of her lip, watching the exchange carefully. Charlotte could easily get out of hand, and she had no idea if Edith had enough mettle to endure such a thing. If she needed to act, it would be easiest to remove Charlotte, though how she would accomplish that, short of bodily means, was beyond her.
“And how was being married?” Charlotte inquired.
“Charlotte,” Georgie warned in a quiet voice.
Edith smiled just a little. “Quick.”
Charlotte grinned. “I like you, Lady Edith Leveson.” She tossed her head back and laughed a deep, throaty laugh. “I think I shall like you immensely. Play a hand of whist with me later, once you’ve made the rounds.”
“If you like,” Edith replied with a much warmer smile.
Charlotte nodded and made her way around the room.
“Well done, Edith,” Izzy praised, laughing in disbelief. “You handled Charlotte marvelously.”
Edith exhaled softly, shaking her head. “Let’s hope not everyone will be so suspicious.”
“They won’t,” Izzy and Georgie said together.
Georgie waved a hand at Tony, who nodded and came to them with Henshaw in tow. “Edith, this is Captain Anthony Sterling, a very great friend, and Lieutenant… I’m so sorry, I don’t know your given name.”
Henshaw smiled at that. “Not to worry, Georgie, it’s Edward.” He returned his gaze to Edith and bowed. “Edward Henshaw, at your service, Lady Edith.”
“You must be the man Lachlan wrote me about,” Edith replied with a bright smile. “You sent over supplies to stock our kitchens.”
“I did, yes,” Henshaw confirmed, his eyes twinkling. “I hope you didn’t take offense.”
Edith reared back a little. “From a brace of pheasants and vegetables? Not at all, we were most grateful for them. It was very generous.”
“Well,” Henshaw blustered, looking embarrassed, “I did promise to look after you, Lady Edith, and I am a man of my word. I didn’t want to impose on you without a formal introduction, lest you think me presumptuous.”
“That didn’t stop Georgie and Izzy,” Tony brought up with a small wink.
Edith giggled while Henshaw scowled. “That is not the same thing and you know it, Sterling.”
“Georgie’s all imposition,” Izzy laughed with a meaningful look at Georgie. “We’ve never been able to fix that.”
“Yes,” Georgie admitted with a dramatic sigh, “it is all I ever hear about.”
Edith looked around the group with a sort of wonder, then looked back at Henshaw. “Well, it will be no imposition henceforth, Lieutenant.”
Henshaw smiled broadly. “I’m glad to hear it. Please, do send for me if you should have any need. I’ll give my information to your manservant and see that he knows it as well.”
Edith nodded, a sudden strain appearing in her face that Georgie wasn’t sure she cared for. But it was gone so quickly she couldn’t be sure it had really appeared.
“I’m grateful to you for that,” Edith murmured, her voice not quite steady. “I hope, however, that we’ll have no cause to meet other than a social one.”
“Agreed.” Henshaw looked at Edith another moment, then shook his head. “If you’ll permit me, Lady Edith, you’re far prettier than your brother led me to believe.”
Izzy giggled while Edith simply smiled at the handsome lieutenant. “And what did my brother say on that subject?”
Tony seemed to be fighting laughter, and he watched his friend with interest.
“He said you were a fair enough lass, I believe.” Henshaw shrugged his broad shoulders. “I find it a poor description.”
Edith snorted softly, her smile turning wry. “And yet it is one entirely worthy of Lachlan. I am glad to surpass expectation.”
Henshaw chuckled and moved aside. “Don’t let me keep you from making acquaintances, Lady Edith. There’s a fair group here, every one of them a connection worth maintaining.”
“Why, Lieutenant,” Izzy said with an air of surprise, “I had no idea you thought so fondly of us.”
“I’m in your presence, Izzy,” he responded with a slight bow. “I think very well of everyone you admit into your circles.”
“Down, Henshaw, down,” Tony coughed with a wave at his friend. “You’ll make somebody swoon.”
Izzy and Edith laughed, then moved away to greet others in attendance. Henshaw watched them go, then took himself in the opposite direction to speak with Grace’s brother, having not yet learned that expecting intelligent conversation there was a fool’s errand.
“I’m not going to swoon,” Georgie informed Tony proudly.
“No?” he inquired, his gaze darkening. “Then perhaps I ought to stand closer.”
Georgie’s toes tingled, and she looked up at him. “Perhaps you should.”
Tony had to laugh at Georgie’s suddenly impish behavior. They’d only been officially courting a day, and already the change in her was extraordinary.
He didn’t think he could find her any more agreeable than he already did, but this side of her, this playful, flirtatious part, might become a favorite.
“Well that was well done,” Tony murmured as he came to stand beside her. “Henshaw and Edith? What do you say to that?”
Georgie looked up at him with a smirk. “Since when have you turned matchmaker? Henshaw has tasked himself with her care, you cannot think he would think more of her than that.”
Tony shrugged and accepted a glass of punch from a passing footman. “She’s a beautiful woman, and you heard him just now. He’s enchanted.”
“Yes, and I heard him with Izzy,” Georgie pointed out. “And with Charlotte. And Grace. And Prue. And myself. And a score of other women in London. Tony, he’s a very charming man, and he flatters. Not in a scoundrel’s way, but flatter he does. I gather he feels a responsibility for Edith, and for that he may pay her a degree of attention, but I think we will both find he will be more like a brother and less like a lover.”
Tony watched her for a moment, feeling rather skeptical. “You want her to be yours for a while longer before giving her up to anyone else.”
Georgie scowled and elbowed him swiftly. “That is not true. Not in the least.”
“It’s a little bit true, Georgie. Admit it.”
“Shh,” she shushed, trying not to smile. “I like Edith a very great deal, but I would not stand in the way of anything she wished to pursue. For pity’s sake, Tony, I’ve only known her a short while. You make me sound like a tyrant.”
“Says the woman who began a newssheet devoted to reaching out to the females in London making poor choices with the men in their circles,” Tony said under his breath.
Georgie made a soft noise of disgruntlement. “That was never about preventing marriages. Just because I apparently can’t have a marriage doesn’t mean nobody else should. I’m not preventing anything. I have no authority. I just wanted to give them the best opportunity possible.”
“You sound like the headmistress of a girls’ school.” Suddenly he wasn’t playing anymore, and he found himself peculiarly invested in the conversation.
“If I really don’t marry,” Georgie told him in a soft tone, her smile gone, “that’s exactly what I plan to do with myself.”
She could not have surprised him more if she’d announced her intention to be prime minister.
A headmistress? She’d hate being cooped up in a school all the time, managing the lives of many little girls and their instructors, meeting with parents regularly, keeping up with the duties of the school itself and its running… She would have done it all rather impressively, but it would drain the light out of her, and she would have been miserable.
And what did she think he was courting her for? He had a personal stake in her and in her future, whatever it would be, and if he had his way…
Well, she wouldn’t wind up as a headmistress of a crumbling school in Chester if he had anything to say about it.
“You don’t mean that,” he said, trying to scoff.
Georgie looked out over the company, expression unreadable. “Perhaps not, but I do have to think about my options, and they are few.” Her voice had taken on a suddenly dour tone, and he hated the sound of it.
“I could help you come up with a few options, if you like,” he suggested brightly. “Certainly, something more creative than a school headmistress.”
She smiled at that and looked over at him. “Oh, really? Feasible ones, or all funny imaginings?”
Tony coughed in mock outrage. “Oh, ye of little faith! I can concoct feasible occupations for you, should you never find your way to the marriage altar.”
Her lips quirked, and she turned to face him more fully. “Can you? Do go on, then.”
“Circus rider,” he said at once.
Georgie snickered and looked away. “I don’t think so.”
Tony cocked his head, frowning. “No? You’re a very good rider, it would not be difficult for you.”
“It’s not respectable,” she reminded him, still laughing. “I’d never be able to see my parents or brothers.”
“A very great loss, to be sure,” he quipped.
Now Georgie snorted and covered her mouth, looking back at him over her glove.
“But family connections must be kept,” he went on with a reluctant sigh. “I concede your point. Very well, then. Book keeping.”
Georgie dropped her hand and shook her head. “I’m dreadful with figures.”
Tony made a face at that. “Oh, I don’t know, I think you have a rather remarkable figure. I’m quite fond of it.”
She rapped his arm sharply, her eyes widening. “Tony!”
He gave her a swift grin, relieved to have his spirited Georgie returned to him. “Governess.”
“No,” she laughed with a weaker swat. “I’d be so dreadful at that. I’d let the children run all over and never mind their lessons.”
Tony shrugged a shoulder. “So, we send you to the home of a country squire who would love that sort of thing. It is all about perspective, you see.”
Georgie shook her head at him, smiling in a way that made him want to hold her. “Oh, Tony.”
“Or you could be a printer and publisher yourself,” he went on, losing some of the playfulness in his tone. “Take the Spinster Chronicles further. Print an entire paper of it. You could collect unmarried women from all over to submit articles. Think of what Lady Hetty could offer.”
“There’s a terrifying prospect,” Georgie muttered, still smiling.
Tony nearly took her by the arms, the idea suddenly had such merit. “It could be an overthrow of everything that currently defines the publishing world. Stories, news, gossip, advice… Georgie, the Spinster Chronicles could become the most widely read paper in London.”
Georgie considered him with an almost sad air. “And who would finance it, Tony? Who would let a group of women take on an entire paper on the off chance that Society wants more than what it already has? You think we are hated now? Imagine what an entire paper written by spinsters would do.” She shook her head and took his hand, keeping the clasp hidden from anyone that may have been looking. “It’s an entertaining thought, and maybe it would work, if things were different. But not with us. Not in these times.” She looked out over the group again, not seeming to see any of them. “I should have more purpose. I should have done something more with my life.”
“And what is preventing you from having a purpose now?” he asked, taking a chance, and stepping closer to her. “You are not at the end of your life, nor anywhere close to it. Your future is still before you.”
“But to what end?” Georgie’s brow wrinkled, and she turned to look at him, her eyes almost stormy. “What can I do that will be meaningful? If I’m not to have the life I imagined, what sort of life can I have? What do I do with it, Tony?”
What did she do with it? Could she not see what he was seeing? She was so lost in her own cares and concerns, so worried about her future, that she neglected to see what she was currently doing; the effect she had on people, the energy she brought wherever she went, the smiles she brought about, the courage she bolstered, the weakened souls she lifted, and the goodness she shared.
How could she not see this?
“Georgie…” Tony murmured quietly, squeezing her hand. “Help Edith. Help Izzy. Help Grace and Charlotte. Help Elinor, for heaven’s sake. You need a purpose? You have one. And it’s incredible. You are capable of so much.”
She tilted her head slightly, her lips parting in wonder.
Tony swallowed hard, rubbing her hand with his thumb. “You can’t see yourself, Georgie. You’re too close. But I see you, and it’s quite a stirring sight.”
She was silent for a long moment, and he could feel each exhale escaping past her full lips in that silence. Then her throat worked, and she smiled at him. “That’s it, you are coming with me everywhere all the time.”
He hadn’t expected that, and he laughed in surprise. “What?”
Georgie nodded. “You are too good for my self-confidence, and yet can stop me just short of getting an inflated ego.” She brightened, and her smile widened. “There’s a purpose for you, Tony Sterling. Steady me so I can do mine.” She laughed at that and turned to check on Izzy and Edith’s progress, though she still held his hand in hers.
Steady her? He stared at her fixedly, observing the turn of her throat, the golden curls of her hair, the natural flush on her cheeks, the exact shape of her eyes.
Steady her.
“I’d love to,” he nearly said aloud.
But he couldn’t.
Because the truth of the matter was that he had another idea in mind. Another purpose for himself. One that would allow him to accomplish her suggestion and more while giving his own life more meaning.
More fulfillment.
More everything.
One purpose he could see himself living for every day for the rest of his life.
Loving Georgie.
His breath caught in his chest with such swiftness that he thought he might be the one to swoon after all.
He loved her. Fiercely and with a depth that startled him beyond measure. How long had he loved her and not known it? How long had he been blind enough to ignore the greatest truth he had ever known in his entire life?
Of course, he loved her.
And he intended to make it perfectly clear that she wouldn’t need to find an occupation with her life to make it have purpose and meaning.
He had the perfect solution for her.
He couldn’t tell her yet, not until he had thought this all through and made necessary arrangements. He needed a plan, for her, for him, for them both. He needed to feel this exhilaration of loving her for longer than three minutes before acting on it.
But she would know soon enough.
“Georgie,” he said quietly, loving the taste of her name on his lips.
She knew that tone and looked at him with a curious tilt to her chin.
Saints above, how he loved her! He shook his head to himself, and murmured, “Oh, for an abandoned alcove!”
Georgie’s eyes lit up and she grinned swiftly. “Actually, I know of one. Give me three minutes, and then follow down the corridor you came through, and you may just get a kiss before we go in to dinner.”
He nodded at that, squeezing her hand. “If you’re very quick, you might get two.”
Georgie winked, wrinkled her nose, and left the room at a surprisingly sedate pace.
Tony looked around, counting the time in his head, and waiting.
At two minutes and twelve seconds, he decided he’d waited long enough and followed.
There were three kisses before dinner, and no one was any the wiser for it.