Chapter Seven

Cherry

My heart was pounding so hard in my chest when I stood and stepped out of the tub onto the soft teal bath mat, I worried I would never get it under control again. My hands trembled as I reached for the towel sitting on the bench beneath the window, brushing it across my skin to dry off the lingering droplets of water. I felt Gabriel step up behind me and reach around me to pick up his own towel. His body brushed against mine and my body pushed back, as if it was seeking him on its own. When I finished drying myself, I turned and took the towel out of Gabriel's hand, and gently patted him dry. I brought the towel across his shoulders and down his chest and belly. Then I dried each arm. They were strong and muscular, but I had felt them around me and I knew they could also be tender and protective.

His breathing was slow and deep as I pressed my hand against the center of his chest so that I could feel his heartbeat. It was fast, slamming against his rib cage just like my own. His long, thick erection was straining toward me and I finally allowed myself to look at it, to admire it. It seemed impossibly big, intimidating, even, and yet I couldn't wait to touch it. Instincts were driving me forward as an irresistible feeling of compulsion drove my desire to a level I have never experienced. I leaned forward and kissed the center of Gabriel's chest. I continued my kisses as I slowly lowered myself to my knees in front of him. I let out a breath as I nuzzled his belly and felt his cock jump in response.

I had been longing for Gabriel for so many years. The sting of him rejecting me in that room hadn't detracted from the desire that I still felt. Now that I had him here with me, I wanted to experience everything that had filled my mind during all those breathless, sleepless nights. The desire I had first experienced as I watched him from a distance, and when I ached for him when he was gone. I kissed Gabriel's belly and nuzzled into the coarse, thick hair that trailed down the apex of his thighs and the base of his delectable cock. His skin had the fresh, clean smell of the soap from the shower, but the huskiness of his smell remained. I knew the smell of him. I had drawn in that smell during every hug, during every opportunity that I had gotten to be close to him in the last few days. But this was different. The smell was stronger now, deeper, as if it was luring me in.

I felt Gabriel's hand rest on top of mine on his thigh before guiding it to his shaft. I wrapped the other hand around the back of his leg and positioned my palm against his erection. He closed my fingers, tightening my grip and starting to lead me in stroking him. Each stroke started at the base and went up over the shining head, spreading the slick fluid that had gathered at the tip. When he felt that he had sufficiently instructed me on how to touch him, he let his hand fall away, leaving me to stroke him on my own. I was drawn to the fluid and gathered more of it on my fingertips, massaging it into his skin the same way he had earlier when we were sitting in the tub. Reflecting on the sensations of pleasure that he created in me when he rubbed me earlier sent a thrill through my body that settled between my thighs. I needed more of him. Gabriel's groans at my touch only heightened my arousal and I felt my mouth water.

Leaning forward, I brushed the tip of my tongue across the head. He drew in a breath and I felt his hand come to rest on the back of my head. It wasn't demanding or forceful. Instead, it was encouraging, as if he was reassuring me that my instincts were correct. I drew a long lick up the underside of his shaft, tracing it around the head, before returning to the base. I glanced up at Gabriel. I expected to see him with his eyes closed from what he was feeling, but instead he was staring down at me. His eyes were locked on me as he intently focused on every movement of my mouth and tongue. I wasn't embarrassed. I didn't feel exposed or uncomfortable. Under his unwavering gaze, I felt beautiful and empowered. My confidence grew with each new discovery I made about my body and his. This wasn’t purely physical, but was also about deepening the connection between us, and what was forming in every moment we shared. I kept my eyes on his as I opened my mouth. He tucked his hips down just enough to slip between my lips and I took in as much of him as I could possibly hold in my mouth. My hand tightened around the base again and then I slowly, gradually, withdrew my mouth so that my lips and tongue could feel every inch of his length.

His hand continued to offer gentle support to my head and I felt him begin to guide me into a gradual rhythm. I let myself relax and felt him push deeper into my mouth, until the tip of his erection touched the entrance of my throat. He suddenly growled, and I stopped, completely removing his cock from my mouth. I was afraid I had done something wrong, but seeming to sense my worry, he shook his head.

"I need a break," he said breathlessly. "It's not time for it to be over yet."

He reached down and took hold of my upper arms so that he could help me back to my feet. I stayed as close to him as possible so that my body stroked his as I sat up. The tips of our noses touched, and he nuzzled my face, briefly resting our foreheads together. I ran my tongue across his lips and kissed him. Our breath filled the air between us in meaningful silence. I lifted my eyes to look into his. I was waiting for the next step. Waiting for him to guide me. His hand brushed down my arm and our fingers intertwined so that he could lead me out of the bathroom and through the house into his bedroom.

I knew that he had let his staff off for the night and that the house was completely empty, but I was still pleased when he closed the door shut behind us. I wanted to indulge in total privacy. I wanted to hide away from the rest of the world, to keep him totally and completely mine for as long as we were lost in each other. Gabriel stepped up behind me and I felt his body mold to mine. His touch warmed every inch of me and I felt fully and blissfully surrounded by him. He kissed the side of my neck and then across the back of my shoulders. His hands rested on my hips and his fingertips pressed firmly into my skin. I let the touch turn me so that I was facing him and wrapped my arms around his neck again. Our mouths found each other, and we kissed with increasing passion as he led me backwards towards his bed. I felt the backs of my legs touch the edge of the mattress. I gasped when Gabriel broke the kiss and scooped me up in his arms, laying me gently on the center of the bed. I lay sideways, stretched across the bed rather than laying my head on the pillows. I waited for him to come down with me, but he didn't. Instead, he knelt by the side of the bed and a shiver in my belly told me that I was about to discover something incredible.

His hand touched my chest and paused there as if mirroring the way that I had felt for his heartbeat. I knew that mine was fast and hard, racing like it never had before. Finally, his fingers began to move, and they made their way down my body as they had in the shower. He stopped when his hand was positioned on my belly between my hip bones and he began to massage my hypersensitive peak with his thumb. The thrill of his touch was just as intense as the first time and I let my legs fall further apart so that he had more access to explore my wet, sensitive flesh. I cried out as waves of unfamiliar sensations washed over me, and I realized that he had taken his thumb away from my core and replaced it with his mouth. Without hesitation Gabriel plunged his tongue into me, sucking softly. I felt like I was falling, like I was leaving reality behind and being elevated to another plane of existence. Gabriel took his tongue out from my slit and began to trace my full lips, giving expert ministrations as he seemed determine to lick every accessible inch.

I dug my fingers into his hair, trying to draw him closer so that I wouldn't lose even a single ounce of the delirious pleasure he was giving me. I resisted pulling him away so that I could escape the feeling of losing control and find relief from the burning intensity what we were doing. My legs were shaking, and I drew them up, causing my thighs to fall further apart and my body to open even more to him. A deep pressure was building inside of me and I knew that I was reaching the very brink. I couldn't hold myself back any more.

I cried out and arched toward him, and Gabriel seemed to sense my desperation. He got to his feet and I positioned myself on the bed so that I was laying with my head on the pillows. I opened my arms for him, not wanting to be without his touch for even a second longer than I had to. Gabriel climbed up on the bed with me and crawled over so that he was kneeling over me, staring deeply into my eyes. Finally, he rested down, stretching over me so that our bodies entangled, and our skin pressed together from our shoulders to our feet. He kissed me softly, balanced on his elbows so that he could occasionally lift his head away and look down at me. I moved my legs out from beneath his and drew them up beside me again, allowing him to settle between my thighs and the tip of his erection to nudge at my opening. My breath caught in my throat and I lifted my hips, needing him.

Gabriel moaned as the tip dipped inside me and I ran my hands along the muscles of his back, appreciating the tension in them as he held himself still over me.

"Are you sure?" he whispered.

"I always have been."

He let out a long sigh and it seemed that the heat of his breath and the unspoken emotion it carried with it absorbed through my skin and into the very center of me. I was ignited with desire and had never felt more alive. He reached over to the nightstand, grabbing a condom wrapper, tearing it open, and slipping it over his length. He pressed forward slowly and slid further into me, stretching me open. I felt pain as my tight, inexperienced walls pulsed around him, but it was a delicious, bittersweet pain and I lifted my hips a little further, relishing the feeling. Gabriel paused for only a second and then flexed his hips so that he could sink even deeper. I felt my eyes flutter closed and my mouth open at the sensation.

I could feel my body growing accustomed to the feeling him filling me. It was a pure, visceral experience that went beyond pleasure, beyond sensation. I felt a sense of fulfillment as my body embraced him. It was overwhelming. My walls began to relax around him and Gabriel rolled his hips forward in response. Each long, slow, gentle stroke brought him deeper until I finally felt his hip bones rest against mine. My body opened to him, as new waves of hot, silky wetness allowed him to glide into me at an even faster pace. His thrusts became faster and harder, the movements dizzying as the powerful pleasure he had given me with his fingers and his tongue, peaked in our bodies crashing together.

I had been so close to the edge when Gabriel had taken his tongue off me that it didn't take long for me to feel my orgasm building again. I didn't want to stop it this time. I didn't want to ever break the luscious rhythms or the rich, velvety pleasure I was experiencing. The deep grunting sounds that poured from Gabriel told me that he was there with me, climbing alongside me. Spiraling out of control.

I gripped Gabriel as hard as I could while the sensations grew impossibly intense and I shook and trembled around him until there was a final rush of pressure and then a cascade of release. I screamed while I rode the euphoric waves of contractions that exploded throughout my body. Gabriel rose up onto his hands and thrust into me harder, finally filling me as deeply as he could. He threw his head back and let out an animal-like roar as I felt his cock throb inside me. Hard pulses of his cock met each of the tight spasms of my walls, drawing him further inside me, milking him as he spilled out into the condom inside me.

We gasped for breath and clung to each other. After several long minutes, he pulled out of me, chucking the used condom in a nearby trashcan. Gabriel then dropped down onto me and I felt his weight push me down into the bed and surround me with the heady scent of our lovemaking. His mouth found mine and we kissed languidly, my eyes growing heavy with the satiated bliss of my body, and I let myself fall asleep in his arms.

This wasn't the way this was supposed to happen.

Or maybe it was. I wasn't sure.

It had felt so right. It was incredible and perfect in every way. Yet, as I slipped into my desk chair at the office the next day, I felt like maybe I hadn't thought this all the way through. I had met with Gabriel to sign the contract, thinking that putting the details down on paper and reviewing them would clarify everything. It would make the entire situation clear and neither of us would have any questions. Now I found myself wondering how this situation was going to unfold. The hundreds of pages of formal, stilted contract had featured dramatic legalese that covered everything from me conceiving multiples, to what would happen if there was a sudden natural disaster that required evacuation, depending on which one of us was nearest to our child at the time. But it definitely hadn't mentioned what would happen if the two of us ended up in bed together.

I looked up as Gabriel walked past me, but he didn't look my way at all. I would have expected a reaction like that would hurt, but somehow it put me more at ease. He didn't look angry and there was no smug look on his face like there would have been if he had scored another conquest. Instead, he looked distracted by the tasks he had to wrap up in the last few hours he would be working in the office before leaving for his three-week business trip. This cemented our night together in my mind as an isolated, one-time experience. It was something that had been building between us for so long that it seemed almost inevitable. Now we can try to move beyond it and focus on the task at hand.

Mid-morning, I got up from my desk and walked over to the elevator. I was on a mission. The entire time that I was riding and elevator and walking down the hallway, I was attempting to convince myself that I was doing the right thing. I could feel myself rediscovering how wrapped up in Gabriel I was when we were younger. Back then, thoughts of him had taken over my life and I hadn't been able to concentrate on anything else. I often wondered if it was those feelings that kept me from dating much before Anthony. I knew that I couldn't let that happen again. I couldn't let myself fall for Gabriel. The agreement that we had come signed and sealed in a very detailed legal document was purely business. The fact that we had agreed that I would be very involved with raising the baby and have extensive visitation rights, including having it when he was traveling on business, didn't detract from the fact that what I was doing was a financial transaction. I ensured that he would have the baby he needed, and he made sure that my mother had the care she required. I needed to remind myself of that and not let myself start daydreaming about anything beyond it.

That's why I needed to do this.

I straightened my shoulders and marched directly over to Blake's desk. He looked slightly startled but pleased when he saw me walking towards them.

"Hi, Cherry. What a nice surprise."

"Hi, Blake,” I said. "How is your day been going?"

"It's fine," he said. "Nothing too exciting, really."

"Do you want to join me for lunch? I can't promise how exciting it will be, but it can’t be that bad.”

It might have been the worst attempt I had ever made at asking somebody out. And that included the time I decided I was going to be one of those brave, liberated college women and ask out my TA. Even standing up in the crowded lecture hall, and getting my backpack strap caught in the chair, flipping me on my ass in front of two hundred people, didn't feel quite as awkward as this did. But I kept a smile plastered on my face and did my best to not let him know how uncomfortable I was. I told myself that I wouldn't always feel this way. I was only feeling like this because I had convinced myself that I wasn’t dateable, that I wasn't worthy of someone’s love and attention. I needed to prove to myself that I capable of dating. Spending time with Blake was exactly what I needed to keep me distanced from Gabriel and remind me that my life was going to go on after this was over.

"That would be fantastic," Blake replied with a grin.

"Great," I said. "Why don't we meet in the lobby at 12:30?"

He nodded in agreement while I tried to ignore the group of men gathered around the cubicle across from Blake's, who were doing a horrible job of pretending that they were deeply engrossed in the file they were discussing rather than listening in on our conversation.

"That would be perfect," Blake said.

I smiled, ignoring the men nudging each other suggestively, and walked away before anything could go horribly wrong.

Having lunch with Blake again wasn't as uncomfortable as I anticipated it would be. It wasn't thrilling, but he was pleasant, and it was nice to chat with him. I knew that I felt absolutely nothing for him, but I had at least taken a step in the right direction. Gabriel didn't seem quite as casual about it, however. When I walked out of the elevator, I saw him standing over my desk. He openly glared at me as I approached. I tilted my head at him defiantly.

"Is there something wrong?" I asked.

"Where were you?" he asked.

"I was at lunch," I said. "Just like I am every other day at this time."

"Were you with someone?"

I tucked my purse into the bottom drawer of the desk and sat down.

"Yes," I said, not feeling as though I had any reason to hide it.

"With that Blake guy again?"

"Again, not that I think that it's any of your business, but yes. He and I went out for lunch."

"I need you to come into my office and talk to me. Right now," he snapped.

Gabriel turned on his heel and stomped into his office. I followed him, feeling somewhat like I was being called into the principal's office. He shut the door behind me and turned to face me before I was even able to get to one of the chairs by his desk.

"You can't do that anymore," he said.

"What? Go to lunch?"

I felt strangely defensive and didn’t quite understand why.

"Go to lunch with him."

"I don’t remember seeing anything in my employee handbook about not being permitted to date other people in the company, especially someone who works in a completely different department."

I hated how it sounded like I had been on a date with Blake. It certainly didn’t feel like one. But it was obvious that was what Gabriel thought, so I carried on with it.

"There isn't anything in company policy that forbids it, but you aren't just another employee. There are other things that you need to keep in mind when considering your behavior."

"My behavior?" I asked. "What's that supposed to mean?"

Gabriel sighed and took a step toward me.

"Look, Cherry," he said, his tone losing some of its angry edge. "I don't know what you're thinking or how you're feeling about this, but for now we need to put all of that aside. What you need to think about is our contract. I don't want you seeing anybody else. It's not about you, it's about the baby. You can't just be running around dating people while pregnant. It would be far too awkward when conversations about the baby and its paternity and raising it would eventually come up. And if you think that going to lunch with a co-worker is something completely casual, with no strings attached, I can tell you that I have seen too many messy relationships and eventual breakups happen because of lunch with a co-worker. You might not think that it's anything now, but by the time you realized that you were getting serious or that he might have feelings for you, you could already be pregnant and that would complicate things too much. Besides, I need to know that you are healthy and doing what's best for the baby at all times. The contract made it clear that you weren't to engage in any potentially dangerous activities. No drinking. No smoking. No eating foods that could be dangerous. And nothing else that could impact your body or the baby's growth."

As much as I hated to admit it, I completely understood what he was saying. He was right. Me trying to force myself into proving that I could have a normal relationship wasn't appropriate when I was possibly only weeks away from carrying his child. Until our baby was safely born, I wouldn’t have full control of my body. The baby did. And I needed to do what was right for it, even before it existed.

"I understand," I said. "I won't see him again."

"Thank you," Gabriel said. "I only noticed that you were gone because I went to your desk to see if you’d like to have lunch with me. I wanted to go over a few more details before I leave on this trip.

"I have all of the briefs and instructions in the files on my desk," I said. "I'll be able to handle it while you're gone. Don’t worry."

"Not work details," he said. "I want to talk about how we're going to move forward after last night."

I looked at him for a minute. We had already gone over this, but I assumed he was nervous because he was going away for three weeks. He wanted to make sure everything was set and arranged so he wouldn’t have to worry about it while he was gone.

"Everything is still going exactly according to the plan," I reassured him. "When you get back we will go to the doctor and make sure that my body is ready and talk about when we'll be able to start the IVF process."

Gabriel didn't respond for several long, awkward seconds. His eyes searched my face and there seemed to be unspoken words in his gaze. Finally, he nodded.

"Alright," he said. "Then, I guess everything is taken care of."

I nodded.

"Don't worry about it. Have a good trip and before you know it, things will be moving right along."

I walked out of the office with my arms hugging my chest, trying to ease the need to throw myself into his arms. I hated the thought of him being away for so long. I hadn't seen him in years before starting to work at the office, but everything was different now. I dreaded seeing his empty office and not hearing his voice. I was suddenly glad for the bear that was now sitting in my bedroom. It was meant for the baby, but I knew that it would be in my arms that night.

I didn't regret the night before. He was always supposed to be my first. It was the way that I had always wanted it. But there was a part of me that was still worried that things had changed too much between us, too fast.