CHAPTER 4
The Goins’ team of doctors confirmed what we already suspected: there was really no right or wrong answer for what to do next. If Asher and I stayed together, it could further Rachel’s rage and provoke her to do something even more drastic. If we separated, or at least pretended to, it would feed her warped sense of reality, which could end up being just as dangerous. Kennedy tried to convince me to return to Boston with her, but I couldn’t be persuaded to leave Asher’s side. He increased security at the house and the office and we tried to carry on with our lives as best as possible.
Asher came back to work and threw himself into a new project using his technology to improve military training tactics. He formally fired Rachel from the company, to the collective relief of the board members. I was quietly promoted into her position and Merritt moved into mine. A week passed with no news and no new catastrophes, lulling me into a false sense that life was finally stabilizing. On Friday afternoon, disaster struck again.
I was at my desk, looking over an advertising layout when a message alert chimed through the room. I glanced up at my computer screen and saw an unfamiliar email address in my inbox. I clicked on the message and my blood ran cold.
Thought you should know the truth about your boyfriend.
- A Concerned Friend
Under the cryptic message were crime scene photos from what I could only assume was the night Asher killed Miguel Chavez in self-defense. The pictures were graphic, some taken before the bodies had been moved. Several document files were also attached to the email; I debated whether or not to open them and decided against it.
There could be viruses, or spyware, or God knows what else attached to this. I need to call the tech department. I need to call Asher.
I stood up and immediately sat down again, dizzy with nerves. I took a few deep breaths and willed my heart to stop racing. When I’d gathered my composure, I set off for Asher’s office. I found him at his desk, bent over his laptop.
“Hey, baby.” He looked up and then jumped to his feet. “Lauren, you’re white. What’s wrong?” He put an arm around me and led me toward the sofa. I pulled away and moved to the desk.
“I just got an email from an account I don’t recognize. It’s full of pictures from the cabin… pictures of Miguel and the federal marshal. There were doc files too, but I didn’t open them.”
Asher groaned and collapsed into his chair. He hit a few keys and turned the board to me.
“Type in your password.”
I blushed slightly and typed his name and birthday. My email account popped up and Asher opened the message.
“I checked the system myself. If there’s any malware in the message, the firewall will catch it and track it,” he assured me. He scrolled down past the text and the images filled the screen. He immediately turned and vomited in his deskside trash can. I rushed to the mini fridge and grabbed a bottle of water.
“I’m sorry. I should have warned you how bad the pictures were.” I unscrewed the lid and passed him the bottle. He took a long gulp and wiped his face with a tissue.
“It’s okay. It’s just… I’ve never had a clear picture of that night in my head. Everything happened so fast that night. I don’t remember seeing that much blood.”
“Let me look at the rest of it first,” I insisted, turning the laptop away from him. I clicked on the first document and photocopies of Asher’s foster care records filled the screen. The next file held his financial records, the third an FBI file.
“Did you know the FBI has a file on you?” I asked, frowning at the screen.
“What?” he asked, turning the computer back again. He scanned through the pages and then leaned back in his chair.
“I can’t believe they’ve been watching me. This goes all the way back to my childhood. We need to call Kennedy.”
“And Detective Austin,” I reminded him. “Maybe his guys can trace the email like they did Tonya’s.”
Asher hit a few more buttons, rapidly changing from screen to screen of code. He frowned and pushed the computer away.
“No one will be able to trace that,” he insisted. “And I’m beginning to think Tonya was innocent.”
“You call Austin, I’ll call Kennedy.”
I’d left my cell in my office so I picked up Asher’s office line. We made our calls and within the hour, Parker and Detective Austin were at the office.
“I’m afraid you’re right, Mr. Reynolds. This email bounced through so many servers, it’ll be impossible to figure out where it originated from. We may be able to pull something off of the files, but I doubt it. We’re dealing with someone who knows how to cover their tracks.”
“We know who we’re dealing with,” Parker reminded him. “Does Rachel have the computer savvy to pull this off? Or is there a chance she’s working with an accomplice?”
“Rachel didn’t do this,” Asher insisted, shaking his head a little too violently. “I accept that she has problems. She’s lied and all signs seem to say that she took the money on her own. But she wouldn’t send me those pictures. I don’t care how crazy she is. She wouldn’t want to look at those any more than I did. And how in the world would she have gotten ahold of my FBI file? I didn’t even know I had an FBI file.”
Parker exhaled impatiently and Detective Austin cringed across the table. I took Asher’s hand and dropped my voice.
“Asher, you remember what the doctors said. Rachel is capable of anything. And we expected something like this to happen. We’re still together and she can’t stand it.”
“I just… I can’t believe she’d send those pictures. I did that for her. I did everything for her,” he fumed, a new fire burning behind his eyes. Asher was finally good and pissed.
He stood up from the table and started pacing the floor.
“Mr. Reynolds, there’s something we need to discuss,” Detective Austin began, his tone hesitant. “If Rachel’s working with someone, he or she knows about your past. We know now that the FBI is completely aware of your past. If copies of those documents end up in the wrong hands, your story is blown. I think it’s time you consider coming forward with the truth yourself.”
Asher stopped walking and put his hands on his hips. He looked from Detective Austin to Parker and then back again.
“I’m not doing that,” he insisted, his voice firm and final.
“Asher, I think Detective Austin has a point,” Parker warned. “It will be bad enough if this stuff gets into the hands of the press. But in that case, we’d at least know that your identity had been compromised. If Rachel hands you over to the Chavez family, we won’t know it’s happened until it’s too late. You need to be protected, Asher, right now. If you won’t do it for yourself, do it for Lauren.”
“I can protect us without exposing my past,” he insisted again.
“Asher, just think about it,” I pleaded.
He turned to me, his nostrils flared. “I have thought about it, Lauren. Do you know what will happen if I hold a press conference or issue some sort of statement about who I used to be? Do you think I’ll get the same sort of respect at my next tech conference once everyone knows that I killed a man when I was eighteen years old?”
He’s ashamed. He’s worried about his reputation while the rest of us are worrying about his life.
Parker and Detective Austin looked down at the table, reluctant to jump back into the fight. I lowered my voice again and folded my arms over my chest.
“You’re right. People will talk. But we’re right too. This is growing too big to stay a secret. There are too many variables, too many people who know the truth. One way or another, the story will get out. What if you don’t say anything and the Chavez family finds you? Do you want everyone to learn the truth in your obituary? Is that the kind of legacy you want to leave?”
He frowned and sank down on the sofa. “I need some time to think about this.”
“That’s completely understandable,” Parker assured him. “If and when you decide to release the story, our firm’s PR department will take care of all the details. I would offer to arrange for protective custody, but I know you’d never accept it. I do suggest that you find a safe, quiet place to go after the story breaks.”
“We can do that,” I assured her.
“Perfect. Think things over and get back to me when you’ve made a decision. Now, we need to readdress one of my questions. Is Rachel good with computers, or is there a chance she has an accomplice?”
“She had tech support in her office every other day,” Asher answered. “If she’s good enough to send an untraceable email, she’s done a great job of pretending otherwise.”
“Can you think of anyone in particular she’d turn to for help? Someone she trusts or someone else who may hold a grudge against you?” she pressed.
Asher swallowed and stared at the wall. “Melanie Hawkins.”
Who the fuck is Melanie Hawkins? And why are we just hearing about her?
Detective Austin scribbled the name in his notepad. “How do Rachel and Ms. Hawkins know each other?”
“Melanie and I were involved. She and Rachel became friends while we were dating.”
I didn’t know what caught me more off guard: learning Asher had an ex I’d never heard of, or hearing that Rachel actually liked her.
“Did the relationship end badly?” Parker asked.
“You could say that,” he agreed with a nod. “Melanie knew I was lying about my past. She didn’t know the details… at least she didn’t hear them from me. But she knew I was hiding something. It drove a wedge between us. I’m not proud of this, but she caught me in bed with another woman.”
For the love of God.
“I’m so sorry, Lauren. I know we can add this to the list of things I should have mentioned sooner. It happened such a long time ago. I’ve never been a cheater. It was the only time I ever did anything like that. I think part of me wanted Melanie to find us, so she’d leave before I gave in and told her everything.”
“I don’t need to hear the psychology behind it,” I interrupted. “This Melanie woman, she’s good with computers?”
He nodded. “She’s a defense contractor who specializes in cyber security.”
“We’ll do some surveillance before we pay her a visit,” Detective Austin piped up. “If she’s in contact with Rachel, the last thing we want to do is spook her. I’ll head back to the station and start running background reports on her. As usual, call me if anything else happens.”
Asher walked the detective to the door and turned back to us, his hands jammed in his pockets.
“Asher, no offense, but it would have been nice to know you had a disgruntled ex with computer skills,” Parker scolded him.
“I’m sorry,” he replied, swallowing again. “I feel terrible for what I did to Melanie. I didn’t want to believe that Rachel was plotting against me. I never considered who she may be plotting with.”
“If you have any other secrets in your closet, this is the time to let them out. I can’t protect you from dangers I don’t know about.”
“This is it, I swear,” he replied, looking at me.
Parker studied him for a moment and then packed her things in her briefcase.
“I’m going to take your word for it. I’m heading back to my hotel to check in with the office. I’ll set some interns to work making calls. We’ll see if we can figure out why the FBI has been surveilling you. Like Austin said, call if anything else happens. And seriously consider coming forward with the truth. Telling the story on your terms is the only way to take the power away from Rachel. She’s wielding this secret over your head like an anvil and I don’t want to be around when she drops it.”
***
“Baby, can I get you something to eat?” I asked, peaking into the bedroom. Asher rolled over on the mattress and shook his head.
“No. My head feels better, but I still feel like I’m going to vomit. I just want to lay here until this nightmare is over.”
I sighed and climbed into the bed beside him. I snuggled under the blanket and laid my head on his shoulder.
“Have you thought any more about issuing a statement?” I asked, my voice soft and comforting.
“It’s all I can think about. I spent the last decade of my life running from my past, Lauren. I know I need to stand and face it. But it feels like a defeat that I’m just not ready for. Think about it. Do you really want everyone you know and care about to know what I did? Do you want to be the woman who’s living with a killer? I’m sure your parents will be thrilled when they find out.”
“My parents will understand that you had no other choice in the situation,” I insisted. “What we should really be worried about is the wrath we’re going to face for not driving up to Sonoma to meet them yet.”
“Maybe one day, life will be back to our quasi-normal existence and we can take a day trip.”
I nodded. “The bed and breakfast was the first place I thought of when Parker suggested that we find a place to lay low. But I immediately realized it was a bad idea. If I led Rachel or God forbid, a Chavez enforcer to them, I’d never be able to forgive myself.”
“Maybe you should go on your own,” he suggested, his tone resigned. “I can hardly bear the thought of being away from you. But keeping you safe is more important and right now, I’m a target.”
“I’m a target too,” I reminded him. “I’ve thought about it and I think we’re safer together than we are apart. And I’m certainly safer behind this wall than behind my parents’ picket fence. But I think Parker was right. We need to line up somewhere to go to stay out of the spotlight… if you decide to tell the story.”
“I keep thinking about all of the people who will feel betrayed once they learn the truth. But I know it has to be done. I’m going to call a board meeting first thing Monday morning. They have to be prepared for what’s coming. We’ll get things lined up at the office so we can leave town for a few days after the story breaks.”
“Where are we going?”
“I talked to Kennedy an hour ago. We’re going to the Montgomery’s Hampton estate. Jack and Gloria have insisted that we take it for as long as we need. Jackson and Kennedy are going to meet us there.”
I was relieved to hear we would be with friends. And I couldn’t think of a safer place to hide than the Montgomery estate. The house held a collection of Early American artifacts that was worth twice as much as Asher’s entire company. It wasn’t surrounded by a concrete wall, but it was protected by a revolving staff of ten armed guards and the most expensive security system money could buy. I was disappointed that we couldn’t pack our bags and leave immediately.
“That’s the best news I’ve heard in weeks.”
“I thought you’d be happy… if happy is even a word we can use right now.”
“I’m happy,” I insisted, nuzzling into his neck. We lay there in silence and I tried to remember the last time we’d just held each other.
“You know, it may be nice, running away for a while,” I suggested. “Think about it. We won’t have any secrets hanging over our heads. We’ll be perfectly safe at the house and we’ll have nothing to do but relax and spend time together. I think it’s exactly what we need after all this. I may want to stay in hiding forever.”
“Be careful what you wish for,” he warned. “I’m serious, Lauren. When the truth goes public, the Chavez family won’t be able to touch me without it being obvious they were the ones behind it. But that’s not going to stop them. They won’t mind sacrificing an enforcer to a murder charge if it means putting me in the ground. You need to understand that if we run, there’s a chance that it’s for good.”
“If that’s the case, so be it. We’ve already discussed this. I’m with you, whatever that means.”
He held me so tight, I had trouble taking my next breath. “It still astonishes me that you’re willing to do this.”
“I don’t love the idea of leaving my friends and family behind,” I confessed. “But this is my life to live, Asher. And I choose to live it with you. I don’t care where we live or how much money we have. As long as we’re together, nothing else matters.”
“I love you, Lauren.”
“I love you too.”
***
“Thank you so much for coming with me,” I told Claire as I navigated Asher’s Explorer down my parents’ driveway.
“There’s no way I would have let you do this alone,” she insisted. “I can’t imagine how hard this must be for you.”
“I wish I could tell them everything that’s going on, but I just can’t take the risk. But I couldn’t leave town without telling them something.”
“I completely understand. I’ll call and check on them after the story breaks,” she volunteered.
“That would mean more to me than you know,” I replied.
My parents stepped out on the front porch as I slowed to a stop near the front steps of the farmhouse. Dad was in his overalls and Mom had her apron tied tightly around her waist.
“Hi girls,” Mom sang as we piled out of the truck. “It’s so good to see you. I just pulled lunch out of the oven. We’re booked solid at the moment, so I set our food up in the kitchen.”
“Good to see you, Mom,” I greeted her with a hug and then turned to Dad.
“You look wonderful, darling,” he told me with a kiss to my cheek.
“So do you. Business is good?”
“Can’t complain. We aren’t getting written up in international magazines or anything, but we’re getting by,” he teased, leading me into the house. A family with two small children were playing board games in the parlor and a group of twenty somethings were gathered around the dining table. We stepped past them all and into the kitchen. Fried chicken, biscuits, and crocks full of vegetables lined the counter and four place settings waited on the table.
“This all looks amazing,” I gushed.
“Well, it’s been so long since you’ve been home. I wanted to make all of your favorites,” Mom explained. “Make your plates and sit down. I’ll pour us all some lemonade.”
Claire, Dad, and I filled our plates with food and carried them to the table. Mom sat down with a single chicken leg and a glass of ice water. I knew from experience that she was already full from tasting each dish until she was certain it was perfect.
“I cannot tell you how proud we were when we read all of those articles about you,” she told me.
“I’m sorry I didn’t call and tell you myself, I—”
“Nonsense,” she said with a wave. “You’ve been busy. We understand, we’re busy too. So tell me. Is this Asher Reynolds as handsome in person as he is in pictures?”
I blushed and nodded. “Yes, he is. He wanted to come with us today, but he was held up at the office.”
“Well, I can’t wait to meet him,” Dad piped up. “Your mother’s been trying to talk me into buying one of those systems for the guests for years. I held out until you started designing the games. Maybe Asher can come over sometime and show us some tricks.”
“I’m sure he’d love to,” I replied, my heart sad.
Please God, don’t make a liar out of me.
Mom studied me with a knowing eye. “What’s wrong, sweetheart?”
“Nothing’s wrong,” I assured her. “Asher and I are going away for a few weeks, that’s all. But the moment we come back, we’ll be here.”
“Where are you going, darling?” Dad asked.
“Thailand. Asher has business there and thought I’d like to see the country. We just wrapped up a project, so I was able to take off work.”
“Well, that’s just wonderful,” Mom exclaimed. “You’ve always had a touch of wanderlust. I couldn’t be happier that you’ve found someone to indulge that with. You know we’re going to need lots of pictures.”
Damn it. I hate lying to them. But I can’t tell them the truth. I can’t put them in danger.
My heart sank with guilt and Mom’s eyes sharpened again.
“Lauren Nichole Matthews, you are holding something back. Don’t argue with me,” she added when I opened my mouth to protest. “I’m your mother. I know what all of your faces mean, I’ve been looking at them since the day you were born. Tell me what’s going on. Are you in some sort of trouble?”
I should have known better than to try to pull this off.
“I’m not in any trouble,” I promised. “Not really. Some things have happened with a woman who used to work at the company. Asher’s dealing with it, but things are probably going to be a little tough for a while. Kennedy suggested it would be best for us to lay low while the drama plays out.”
“What kind of drama are we talking about?” Mom pressed, her voice full of alarm.
“Nothing serious,” I lied. “And it’s not really my story to tell, not right now. Everyone will know soon enough. Just keep in mind that the news tends to exaggerate the truth when it suits them.”
“I don’t like this.”
“I know you don’t.”
“But I trust you,” she finished. “And you can tell Asher that your father and I expect him to pay us a visit and explain himself when you get back to town.”
“He will,” I promised.
“Are you really going to Thailand?”
I shook my head and my phone chimed in my purse. I retrieved it and stared down at the message from Asher.
GET HOME ASAP. NOT SAFE TO EXPLAIN NOW. TEXT WHEN YOU’RE
ON YOUR WAY.
Damn it, how does this keep happening?
“What is it now?” Mom demanded.
“There’s an emergency at the office. I’m so sorry, guys, but I have to go.”
“Are you serious?” Dad asked. “You just got here.”
“I know. I know, I’m sorry. But I have to go.”
I met Claire’s eyes, silently begging for help. We stood, and she blocked Mom so I could get a head start for the door.
“I’m so sorry,” I called over my shoulder. “I promise I will call and explain all of this as soon as I can. I’m so sorry. I love you.”
With tears streaming down my face, I pushed open the front door and fled to the truck. Claire followed, climbing into the passenger seat while shouting apologies to my parents who’d stopped on the porch.
“What the hell happened?” she asked as I flew down the driveway.
“I have no idea.”