Chapter 7
The following morning, Victoria walked into the children’s breakfast room a servant had directed her to and stopped short. Sitting at the table looking incredibly sophisticated and sexy, casually drinking coffee was Dharr. And he was having a very serious conversation with his nephew. Bajan was talking about his responsibilities and Arina was listening intently. Dharr nodded his head at certain points in the conversation but most of all, he allowed Bajan to talk.
She stood in the doorway, feeling like an intruder but unwilling and unable to step back. She’d mentioned last night that she suspected that Bajan was taking on the responsibility of raising his sister alone and Dharr had listened to her, actually listened! What’s more, he was acting on that piece of information.
The pain twisting her stomach after last night eased somewhat. Victoria realized that whatever Dharr thought of her as a woman, he respected her professionally. And that was something. And going from nothing to something was a heady experience for her.
She listened intently as Bajan continued to talk and her heart went out to the little man who was discussing how best to take care of his sister and Dharr nodded his head earnestly. Bajan was serious but also very intelligent and well spoken for a boy of his age.
“I think you have some good ideas, Bajan,” Dharr was saying. “But maybe you could let me help you with some of the issues you may be facing in the years ahead of you,” he said. “I’m not saying that in all instances I should interfere, but perhaps I could guide you like my advisors guide me.”
Bajan considered this and, after several moments, he nodded his head. “I would be grateful for your guidance, Uncle Dharr,” he said.
Once that was settled, Dharr turned to face Arina. “And what is on your mind, little one?” he asked.
She looked around, noting that her governess was far enough away to not overhear the conversation. “I’d like a doggy,” she whispered. The words came out as if she knew that such an idea was forbidden.
Victoria heard the words and she smiled secretly, loving the intent expression of the little girl. But the expression on Dharr’s face was equally priceless. “A doggy?” he said loudly and Victoria understood his horror. She tried not to smile but it was too precious to see Dharr’s face. She stifled a giggle and covered her mouth.
“Well, what would you do with a doggy?” he asked, maintaining the serious façade.
Arina shrugged her shoulders and looked down. “I don’t know,” she revealed. Her eyes, which had shown a small spark of excitement, died down and the sadness returned. “Maybe it was a silly idea.”
Dharr looked up, straight at Victoria, obviously having known all along that she was there and listening to the conversation. His look was a call for help. He’d been doing so well up to that point and Victoria hated to intrude, but she understood that Dharr didn’t understand what he should say in this instance.
Victoria stepped into the room and sat down next to the little girl. She started talking about her dog Harry she’d had at home. Turning to Arina, she suggested, “Do you want a dog so you can have something to keep forever?” she asked.
Arina thought about it for a long time, then slowly nodded her head. Then in the middle of her nod, she shook her head. “But nothing lasts forever,” she said.
Victoria shook her head. “I’m not sure I agree with that,” she said. Four sets of eyes looked up at her. She concentrated on the small set of brown eyes that were looking up curiously. “Think about it,” Victoria said. “You miss your mother and father, don’t you?” she said.
Arina nodded but she noted that Bajan lifted his head slightly, fighting the need to reveal his pain. “But do you think about them?”
Again, Arina nodded her head.
Ms. Mattingly stepped in at that point. “I don’t think this is an appropriate conversation,” she snapped.
“I agree,” Dharr said.
But Victoria ignored them. “Well, think of your memories of your mother and father. What’s the one thing you remember the most?” she asked, turning to Arina first.
Arina looked to Ms. Mattingly, then to Dharr who slowly nodded his head. Given permission, Arina pursed her lips, thinking hard. After several minutes, she whispered, “Bedtime kisses.”
“What did your mother smell like?” Victoria asked softly.
“Flowers.”
Victoria smiled encouragingly, feeling a huge sense of relief that she was breaking through, even in a small way, with Arina. “And what did she feel like?”
“Soft,” Bajan stepped in.
Arina looked over at Bajan, wanting to cry but knowing her brother wouldn’t do it, therefore, it was probably inappropriate at the moment in her eyes.
“Think about those feelings. I guarantee that they will last forever,” Victoria said. She then clapped her hands together gently. “Know what?” she said and all four sets of eyes looked up at her again. “Your uncle has given me permission to play with you for the morning. What do you think of that?” Victoria asked, looking at both children.
Both of them turned to face Ms. Mattingly who nodded her head. “If His Highness has approved the interruption, then I suppose it is okay.”
Dharr stood up and bowed. “I leave you both in Ms. Mason’s hands. Mind your manners and behave,” he said sternly. When both children nodded in response, Dharr turned on his heel and left the breakfast room.
As soon as he left, Ms. Mattingly also departed, although her body language conveyed the message that she disapproved of the interruption to her daily schedule with the children. Arina and Bajan both stared at Victoria who just grimaced after the stern lady’s departure. “She’s pretty tough, isn’t she?”
Neither child agreed, nor would either of them crack a smile.
“Can either of you show me to the play room?” Victoria asked, searching for something that would break through their silence. “I’d rather not spend our short time together in the school room and I don’t know the palace well enough to suggest another place where we can get to know each other.”
They led her down the hallway to a sunny, wonderful room filled with lovely toys for all ages. It took a while, but eventually, Victoria got them to engage in the toys. As they played, she talked to them, getting them to slowly start to talk about their feelings and their grief. But at lunchtime, Ms. Mattingly arrived and halted the play, escorting the children to the schoolroom where Victoria sat and observed, fuming at the woman’s need to control little people who were supposed to wriggle and squirm.
Instead of waiting for Dharr to come to her that night, she sought him out, waiting outside his office this time until he finished his meeting. She didn’t want another repeat of the previous night’s interrogation. Unfortunately, she didn’t have much to report. But she promised to keep trying. As soon as the discussion was over, she hurried out of his office, almost running to her suite of rooms in order to avoid Dharr.
That’s how the whole first week went. The children didn’t open up very much, nor did she do so to Dharr. She refused all dinner invitations, explaining that she’d rather eat with the children but some nights, she ate in her own room, not able to deal with Ms. Mattingly’s sternly disapproving demeanor any longer.
Saturday morning, ten days after her arrival, she had a breakthrough of the most amazing kind. She was sound asleep when she heard the door to her suite open. Turning, she was about to pull the sheets up over her revealing tee-shirt when she heard the small footsteps. It was Arina. She was staring at Victoria’s sleep drugged face, tears streaming down her chubby, beautiful cheeks. “What’s wrong?” she asked, pulling the little girl into her arms, cradling her and rocking her back and forth. “Arina, please tell me what’s happened,” Victoria begged, genuinely worried about the small, shaking little girl in her arms.
“I miss my mommy,” she whispered as if it were an awful secret.
“Oh, dear. I’m so glad,” Victoria said, pulling the child closer to her. “I know, sweetheart.”
“You know?” the child asked, looking up into Victoria’s face. “How did you know?”
Victoria smiled through her own tears. “Arina there’s no way anyone could lose their mother and father and not feel sad,” she said.
“But I’m supposed to be strong,” she said, laying her head against Victoria’s chest.
“Who said?” Victoria asked carefully. If Dharr or Ms. Mattingly had said that to her, she would absolutely contradict them. But if Bajan had given her that admonition, then Victoria knew she’d have to step carefully. Victoria didn’t want to hurt the impression Arina had of her brother’s strengths, but she didn’t want the little girl to keep the hurt inside either.
“Ms. Mattingly said so,” the small voice whispered. “She said we have to be strong and keep on working at our studies so we can grow up to be smart leaders.”
Victoria hoped the anger she felt for the governess didn’t show on her face. She looked gently down at the small child in her arms and thought carefully about how Victoria could ease the child’s burden. “Sometimes it is a good thing to cry, Arina. Being strong means revealing your feelings,” she said. “It means knowing that something is wrong and letting others help you,” Victoria said, sobbing herself now that Arina was crying out desperately, her pain wracked body shaking with her grief.
A moment later, Bajan stood next to her bed. “Do you mean it?” he asked, fighting the tears that were threatening. “But Uncle Dharr doesn’t reveal his feelings,” Bajan argued.
Victoria could see that the boy was trying valiantly to hold back his tears but she wouldn’t let him. “Oh yes he does,” she said. “You just need to know how to read him,” she said. Victoria didn’t tell him that she herself didn’t know how to read their uncle. It was enough that the boy climbed immediately into bed with them and started crying.
The two children cried for over an hour, neither wanting to talk, just to be held and let go of the pain they had been living with for almost seven months. Eventually, they fell asleep, Bajan’s hand holding onto his sister’s arm but his other wrapped around Victoria’s waist. Arina’s hand was holding onto Victoria’s hand and both of hers were around each child.
That was how Dharr found them. He had been told by Ms. Mattingly that the children had disappeared and the whole palace was searching for them. Some instinct had told Dharr to look for Victoria and he’d find the children, but he hadn’t thought to look in her bed. Now, seeing the three of them, sound asleep, his heart ached and he let out a sigh of relief. The children were safe and Victoria was still here.
Dharr didn’t analyze why it was so important that Victoria was still within in the palace walls. He just left her suite, closing the door softly behind him.
The summons came that afternoon. She’d been spending time with the children, not letting Ms. Mattingly have them but simply playing with them in the play room and encouraging them to talk about their memories of their parents.
Victoria looked at the note written in Dharr’s strong handwriting. It was simple and to the point. He asked her to meet him in his office at her earliest convenience. The odd thing was that he actually asked her to meet him. It wasn’t an order.
Victoria didn’t like the nice tone. It was too patient. That just wasn’t like the Dharr she had come to know she thought, holding the note in her hand while Arina carried a baby doll over to her. What was he playing at?
She decided to go immediately. She didn’t think she could stand the curiosity so she found a servant to watch over the children, then she left the school room and headed towards Dharr’s offices.
As soon as she arrived, she was waved into his office which was odd in itself. Wasn’t he in meetings or needing to finish up whatever he was working on? She was used to waiting for him, at least for a few minutes. This immediacy was odd.
She entered and looked around, impressed despite herself. The office was furnished in dark, heavy furniture but because of the enormous size of the room, it didn’t look cluttered. The whole room was two stories high with floor to ceiling windows on each end looking out onto a courtyard. His desk was the largest piece and was made of dark, polished wood. It sat in front of a long wall of shelves filled top to bottom in books. The remaining wall had the doors to the outer offices as well as other doors that were mysteriously closed. There were also large paintings of battles or portraits that were so perfectly rendered they had to be priceless.
Standing in the middle of all of this grandeur was Dharr himself, looking more like a king than she’d ever thought him to be. It was scary to think that she’d dated the man for more than six weeks, had kissed him and touched him, fell in love with him and learned so much from him but during that whole time, she’d never known he was ruler to Ashir.
Now, looking at him in this amazing room, there could be no doubt about his role in the world. He was a ruler, born and bred. It showed with every mannerism and posture. How could she have missed all these things so many years ago?
Because if she’d realized he was a King at that time, she would have run the other way. She hadn’t wanted him to be anything other than a normal man. That meant that she was free to be with him. Each time she’d started to think he might be more than what he was letting on, she’d dismissed the idea as too far fetched. But deep down, she hadn’t wanted to acknowledge that he was out of her league.
“Good afternoon,” he said, putting down the report he had been reading. “Are your rooms adequate?”
This formal man standing before her was unfamiliar. “Yes. They are very nice,” she replied, just as formally. Why was he asking her this when she’d been here for almost two weeks already? Something was up. She just couldn’t figure it out yet.
“Good. How are the children?” he asked.
This was familiar ground for her. She relaxed slightly and considered all the issues she’d unraveled today. “I think they are fine. I just left them in the school room.”
“You don’t like Ms. Mattingly, do you?” he questioned.
Victoria hesitated for only a moment before replying, “No. I think she is part of the problem.”
“In what way?” he asked, waving her into a seat. Victoria looked down and took one of the large, leather seats grouped around a coffee table. “Would you like some coffee?” he asked, lifting an elaborate silver coffee pot, prepared to pour her some.
“No. Thank you.” She sat on the edge of her seat and looked around at the various paintings, the beautiful furniture, anywhere but at the handsome but completely intimidating man in front of her. “I think she is a perfectly adequate teacher for older students but for a three year old and a six year old, they need to be more active. I’ve never seen children that age sit still for so long.”
His eyebrows came down into a straight line across his dark eyes, as if he disagreed with her on this point. “Isn’t that a good thing?” he asked.
Her eyes whipped back to his and she answered, “Of course not,” without thinking of a more diplomatic reply.
He was surprised, but didn’t take issue with her immediate contradiction as she had anticipated. “Please explain.”
She needed to choose her words carefully so he would understand. Arina and Bajan needed her to be able to get through to Dharr so they could be free of their strict, daily routines. She started off slowly, “Children that age need activity. Their brains don’t work the same way an adult’s does. They need to see, hear, feel, possibly taste the things they are learning. The more ways a person absorbs the information, the better it will stay in their minds. Rote memorization isn’t the best way to learn.”
He smiled slowly. “You’re very passionate about your ideas, Victoria. I don’t remember you being this strong minded.”
Victoria flushed, thinking back at how pathetic she must have seemed, trying to please him at every turn. “I guess I’ve grown up and developed opinions of my own. I don’t care if you don’t like it,” she said, her chin lifting a fraction of an inch as a challenge.
“And what if I do?” he asked softly.
That confused her. The admiring glance also made her warm inside but she ignored that feeling, knowing that he was just trying to charm her. “I’m not here to please you, Dharr. I know the rest of the world lives and breathes to please you but you won’t get that from me,” she said, her eyes turning angry at the idea.
“Ah, but Victoria, you please me a great deal. Just your beauty alone is lovely to look upon,” he replied.
Her mouth dropped open and she had to look away from his sensuous expression. His eyes were still hard, but they had a look that told her he was thinking about other ways she could please him. His finger smoothed along his lower lip and Victoria’s mind wondered what it would feel like to have that finger touching her lip, caressing her body.
Stop it! She told herself. It was pointless to go down that path. There was no way she was going back to him and besides, he hadn’t indicated that he was even interested in her in any way other than professionally.
“As I said, flattery will get you no where,” she said again and looked away. Her whole body was reacting to the thought of his touch, remembering the heat and the pleasure he could give her with only a simple touch. “Anyway, if there is nothing else, I’ll get out of your way. I’m sure you have plenty of work to do.” She stood up and started to leave but his next words stopped her.
“Actually, there is one more thing, if you have a moment,” he said, standing up with her. That meant that their bodies were close and he looked down into her green eyes, holding her hand to stop her momentum. “There is a function tomorrow night. I was hoping you would be able to accompany me.”
“Why?” she asked, her hand shaking within his. She couldn’t help it. Dharr being arrogant and domineering was hard to resist. But Dharr being nice and charming was devastating to her senses. “Why do you need me there?”
“You are my guest and I was thinking it would give you a chance to meet some new people, enjoy the night and relax a little.” He took her hand more firmly within his and tucked it into his arm as he escorted her to the door. “But if you don’t think it would be a good idea, then I will find another woman to accompany me,” he said.
Victoria’s eyes snapped up to look at his, trying to determine if he was serious. When she just saw his blank, patient expression, she knew that he wasn’t bluffing. Her heart went into overdrive. The jealousy tearing at her was instantaneous and blinding. “You are seeing someone?” she asked, hoping he couldn’t hear the anger in her voice. She wanted to pull her hand free and find the woman, do her physical harm. It was shocking to know that she hated someone she hadn’t even met, didn’t know even existed until this moment.
Her feelings were ridiculous since she had no claim to Dharr. Nor did she want one, she told herself. But there was no denying the jealousy tearing her up.
Dharr noted the anger in her eyes and instantly recognized it as jealousy, just as he’d suspected and hoped. “I’m not seeing anyone at the moment,” he reassured her. “But I need a companion for the night and was hoping you could help me in this instance.”
“Fine,” Victoria snapped, angry now that she felt such overwhelming relief. “Yes,” she replied more graciously for fear that he would think she was doing this grudgingly and go find another companion. She just couldn’t deal with the idea of another woman on Dharr’s arm. “I’ll be happy to help you out tomorrow night,” she said quickly, adding a smile. “What time? Is it formal?”
“It is formal but I’ll have something appropriate for you to wear sent over. There may be other events later in the week that perhaps you might help me with as well?” he questioned. “But if they become a burden, just let me know and I will find someone else to accompany me for those events.”
Victoria gritted her teeth and shook her head. “No need. The children go to sleep early and I can accompany you. After all, I don’t have much to do in the evenings, do I?” She felt good that she could turn down his offer of a dress. Even though she now knew he was a King with probably oodles of money, she didn’t want to be indebted to him. “As for a dress, no need to have one delivered. I think I have something appropriate.” She waited for him to contradict her on that subject. In the past, he had been adamant that she accept gifts from him, even an allowance. But even then, just as now, she wanted to stand on her own and not accept his money, even in the form of an appropriate dress for a formal event.
Dharr bowed slightly and smiled. “I appreciate your help.”
Victoria smiled back but didn’t bow. She accepted his bow and left his office, an odd feeling in her stomach. She refused to identify the feeling as excitement. It was just nausea she told herself.
She held herself proudly until she got out into the hallway, then leaned against the wall, closing her eyes and shaking her head. “What have I gotten myself into?” she questioned out loud.
Hearing a noise at the other end of the hall, her eyes snapped open and she saw several people heading towards Dharr’s office. Scrambling to pull herself together, she hurried back to her suite. Making a quick phone call, she left a message for Scott, telling him he needed to send some dresses to her as soon as possible and the way to get them here. She told him to send them via overnight mail and she’d have them pressed once they arrived. She was sure that there was a dry cleaning facility somewhere around here that would press the dresses quickly. She just hoped Scott got the message in time.
The next thirty six hours were the most stressful of Victoria’s life. She received a package the following morning and sure enough, Scott had sent her five different dresses. She recognized all of them since she’d modeled them for him in the past. It meant they would all fit her perfectly since he’d created them for her. They weren’t really wrinkled either but one of the servants promised that they would be pressed and back in her closet for the evening event.
That night, she chose a mint green creation that wasn’t too revealing but hugged her upper body with soft folds, creating a V down the front and back, then flaring out into a graceful cascade of mint green chiffon to the floor. It was very romantic looking and was one of her favorites. She remembered how Scott had had her hair done for the photo shoot and tried to recreate it, but in the end, she just left the soft curls hanging down her back and only lifting the sides with small, green clips. Scott had hired a hairdresser for all the photo shoots and, although the hairstyle had looked easy enough to recreate, it obviously wasn’t.
She was glad she’d gone to all the trouble when Dharr arrived to escort her to the party. His eyes flared as he took in her figure clad in the soft dress. He didn’t say anything, but she knew that he liked the dress. Why it was so important for her, she wasn’t going to even think about.
He tucked her hand into his arm and walked her down the hallway, explaining that there were several ambassadors and their wives here for the evening. He was entertaining them in order to work their treaties for better terms for Ashir and some of the negotiations had turned slightly sticky.
The evening turned out to be wonderful. She didn’t sense any tension from the other guests in the room. There were about fifty people, all fabulously dressed and loaded with jewels. Some of the older ladies were even wearing white gloves to their elbows which was a sweet throwback to the nineteen fifties. She’d have to mention the thought to Scott as an accessory to one of his newer creations.
What was more, Dharr didn’t let her out of his sight. He kept her close, included her in all of the conversations and asked her opinion on several issues. It was completely different from five years ago. She had never been introduced to anyone important at that time and Dharr had tried to mould her into the kind of woman he wanted her to be. It seemed he respected her now, and liked what she had to say.
At the end of the night, Victoria started to become nervous. Dharr’s hands were touching her back and, although she tried, she couldn’t contain a shiver of excitement over his touch. She didn’t want to be excited. She wanted to be immune to his touch, his charm.
Once the last guest had departed, Victoria tried to slip her arm out from his. She was a bundle of nerves and she wanted nothing better than to slip into his arms and feel his lips on hers.
“I have to go,” she said instead.
“I’ll walk you to your room.”
“No!” she said, stopping him and putting a hand to his chest. She immediately whipped it away, then took a step backwards. “No, thank you,” she finally got out, biting her lower lip. “I’ll be fine.”
“But I insist,” he countered.
“Dharr, I can find my way to my room,” she said and started walking down the hallway.
He fell into step beside her and walked with her anyway. At her door, he turned her around but didn’t kiss her. Instead, he picked up her hand and bowed low. “Thank you for your assistance tonight,” he said. “Can I count on you again tomorrow night?” he asked.
Victoria thought about how she’d felt next to him all night. She’d been supremely conscious of him as a man and of all the women looking at him. There were the looks of envy as well as those of approval. She’d ignored all the jealousy, tossing it aside. “Dharr, why do you need me?” she asked. “You can work the room quite well on your own.”
He took a step closer, trapping her hand between their bodies. His eyes showed her the passion that had been tamped down for her benefit. But now, he didn’t hide anything. It was all there, letting her know that nothing had changed between them. The chemistry was still intense and ready to be acknowledged. “Because I want you by my side. Because I think you are incredibly beautiful with intelligence and wit. And because if you won’t accompany me, I’ll have to find a replacement and that will make you jealous and, although there are many feelings I want to engender within you, that is not one of them.” He kissed her hand and then stepped backwards. “I’ll see you tomorrow night. Again, thank you for a lovely evening.”
Victoria slipped into her room and almost fell onto her bed before her legs gave out on her. What was it about the man that made him completely irresistible to her? Why couldn’t she just think of him as any other man she’d met?
Victoria was in a quandary. Being around him meant feeling things she knew were bad for her in both the short term and long term. But if she didn’t accompany him to these functions, he would find someone else. And that thought just tore her up inside. Either way, she was doomed.
She would just have to be strong, she told herself. The children had been fighting their emotions for so long, perhaps she could take a lesson from them? She could hide her feelings for Dharr and the way his touch made her feel. Yes, that would work, she told herself.