Chapter Twenty-Six
Three Days Later
Diana paced the parlor, certain she would wear a hole in Lucas’s parlor carpet before this terrible day was through. She glanced at the clock on the mantel and sighed. He’d been gone far too long. It could not be good news that would come home with him.
The door opened in that moment, and she pivoted to watch as Lucas entered the room. His face was very serious and his eyes were locked on hers. Worried. Soothing. The same expression he’d had in the three days since her entire world had fallen down around her, everything she believed destroyed the moment her father had reappeared, alive and well.
“What was the decision?” she asked, her voice trembling.
Lucas came to her then, taking her hands in his as he searched her face like he could find peace there. She had no idea how that was possible, considering she felt none within herself.
“It was a long argument,” he said. “Stalwood and I took up in your father’s defense and presented the evidence that he had actually turned against Caldwell in the end. That he took that bullet in order to protect me. We left you out of it, of course, as we agreed upon.”
She pursed her lips. “Yes, you agreed upon that, you and Stalwood and my father. I still think I should have been there.” She turned away and paced to the window.
“You should have been,” he said softly. “This decision will affect no one more than you. But it is the only way we can protect you in some way from the truth of what your father did and why.”
Her hands shook as she faced him. “What was the panel’s decision in the end?”
“They considered his injury and his actions as a whole.” Lucas let out a long sigh. “And determined that he should not be hanged for treason.”
Diana’s legs nearly went out from under her. She leaned heavily on the window ledge as she stared at him in disbelief. “Truly? They won’t put him to death?”
“No,” he said. “They won’t. But he…he will be transported, Diana. As soon as his injury allows for travel, a week or two at most, he will be sent away. The panel felt he would at least be able to do some good amongst the prison population.”
She stared at him as numbness overcame her. Transported. Although it was better than death, the end result would be the same. She would never see her father again. Perhaps he would be allowed a letter to her from time to time, but the distance between them would be insurmountable.
“I see,” she said at last, the only thing she could think to say. “It is fair, I know.”
“Fair to him,” he corrected. “None of this is fair to you, Diana. You will be able to see him as much as you like in the time you have left. Stalwood and I demanded that be true. Stalwood will actually be monitoring him in his own home until the time is right.”
She nodded slowly. “Stalwood was a friend, for his part of the bargain. Were there any other censures?”
He shifted, and she knew there had been. “His lands have been seized. His property and funds now belong to the crown.”
She bent her head. “So I have nothing.”
“Yes.” He cleared his throat. “I did not tell them about your daughter’s grave, but I did argue that you ought to be able to live in the home if you’d like. They agreed to lease the property to me, though it will still belong to the crown. You won’t lose the ability to visit Mirabelle there for as long as I’m alive.”
Her heart stuttered as she looked at him. “You did that for me?”
He nodded. “I would do anything to lessen the pain of this. Anything in my power.”
“Thank you,” she whispered, her love for him bubbling up in her. But she didn’t speak it. She had done so in the height of their terror a few days before, he had said the same. In the time since, she had stayed at his home, and the topic had not come up again.
She had to assume he had only said those words out of terror in that moment. Facing death, they had seemed to have less meaning to him. Now he had forgotten them.
And she could live with that. There was so much else she’d have to face now. Losing Lucas was just the worst of it.
“We can go there whenever you’d like,” he continued. “Just say the word.”
“You would take me home to the country?” she asked. “No, that would be too much. I ought not even stay with you anymore. I think my family has trespassed on your good graces long enough.”
He wrinkled his brow. “Take you home? This is your home, Diana.”
She stared at him in blank surprise. “Lucas.”
“It has been madness since you were taken. Madness for longer than that,” he said, and ran a hand through his hair. “I should have been clearer, but I didn’t want to overwhelm you when there was so much for you to handle already.”
She swallowed, but she could think of nothing to say but his name. “Lucas…”
He shook his head. “I love you, Diana.”
Those words hit her harder than a runaway phaeton, and everything in her wanted to lean into them and him and stay in his arms forever.
A more rational part tried to keep joy at bay. “You said that in a moment of great peril,” she began. “I would not be so cruel as to hold you to it.”
“I meant it, peril or not, Diana. I knew it before I said it that day. I knew it and I knew what I wanted.” He moved forward, and she found no strength to step away. He cupped her cheek and she shivered, for the feel of his skin on hers was heaven. “I love you and I want to marry you.”
If she hadn’t already been leaning against the window, she would have fallen over. “What?”
“You are everything I have ever wanted, everything I shall ever want.” He held her gaze steadily. “I have not ever felt for anyone even a shadow of what I feel when I touch you or see you or even merely hear your name. I could not live my life without you.”
“That would make me a duchess,” she said, dumbfounded.
He nodded. “Yes, it would. And a duchess with duties, for I have realized, thanks to you, that I cannot turn away from this life anymore. I have given up my position at the War Department, effective immediately. Though Stalwood did ask that I make myself available to review case files from time to time. Something I would only do if you would be agreeable to such that.”
“Stop,” she breathed, her head spinning as she steadied herself on the back of the closest chair. “You are ahead of yourself with all these plans and questions. The fact of the matter is that I don’t belong here. Not in this world, in your life.”
He smiled, a crooked little expression that was wry and warm. “Oh, my darling, neither of us belong here, do we? But we belong together. I need you. I need you at my side. And I want to be there for you, as well.”
What he was offering was everything she’d ever wanted or desired. Everything she’d never dared to hope for. But there was still fear there. Fear and uncertainty.
“It wouldn’t be easy,” she whispered.
“Sometimes it wouldn’t be,” he conceded with a tilt of his head. “But I think we’ve both learned through bitter experience that is true of life in general. I bore a great weight on my shoulders, until you took some of it for me. I hope I did the same for you.”
She nodded. “You did. I never knew how much my secrets ate at me until I was able to speak them.”
“Then be my wife,” he whispered again. “Spend a lifetime with me where we’ll share not only our joys, but our pains. Where no one of us will bear the full weight of either. We’ll do it together. Be my partner in the truest sense. Be my heart and my love until there are no more sunrises for us. Please. Please don’t turn away from the happiness we could have. Love me and marry me.”
His face was close to hers now, his breath gentle on her lips. He slid his arms around her, and suddenly she was home. The most perfect home she had ever known or would ever know again. It was everything, and in that moment she knew she could not walk away from it. There had been too much loss in both their lives to accept another.
“I do love you, Lucas,” she said as she leaned up to brush her lips to his. “I do love you, and I will marry you.”
He said nothing, only pulled her closer and deepened the kiss. But she needed no words. She felt his joy and his relief in the way his mouth moved against hers. She felt the future laid out before them, far happier than the past.
Because they would be together, and that would always be enough.