Perhaps it was the laundry pile, which had grown so high that only two choices could be made—do it or wear yesterday’s clothes. Or perhaps it was the stack of unpaid bills, tucked under a pile of picture books and nearly forgotten until the baby discovered them and used the credit card statement as a teething ring. Or perhaps it was the call from her landlord, reminding her about the rent check. Charlotte couldn’t be sure. But one thing she could be sure of was that today things were going to change in the Daniels residence. Sure, it was only Thanksgiving, and typically big resolutions didn’t come about for another five weeks, but she didn’t exactly have five weeks at the rate things were going, so today would just have to do.
First up: She’d organize her apartment. Get the closets in order and make the bed every morning before work—in other words, customary adult responsibilities that she just didn’t seem to have time for these days, but would make time for, starting today! Next (and this was a big one), she’d get her finances together and pay back that loan her parents had so generously given her for a security deposit on an apartment when she’d moved back to Misty Point last summer. And third, she’d focus on the future, not the past with all its icky mistakes, and start building the life that her daughter deserved.
It started today. About a month before Christmas. Baby’s first Christmas, she thought with a smile as she walked into her parents’ dining room and tucked Audrey into the nicked wooden high chair that had been passed down from her sister, Kate, to her, and now to her seven-month-old daughter. Charlotte felt her eyes begin to mist when she thought of how her family had opened their arms to her surprise baby girl. It was more than Audrey’s father had ever done…Not that any of them would be discussing him today. Or any other day for that matter. No, he was part of her past. Not her future. And she wasn’t going to be dwelling on her past anymore, was she?
Nope. It was on the list. A resolution. One she was sticking to.
“Doesn’t Audrey look sweet in her new Thanksgiving dress!” Charlotte’s father grinned as he carried two bottles of wine into the room and set them on the table her mother had covered in an orange linen cloth just for the occasion. The moment his hands were free, he reached for the camera that was within arm’s reach at all times, and began snapping some candids of Audrey, who was happily chewing on her fingers, a habit she’d picked up when she started teething. Charlotte stifled a sigh and leaned in close, smiling into the lens and hoping that the dark circles under her eyes from lack of sleep weren’t accentuated by the overhead lighting.
“It fits perfectly,” Charlotte commented once Frank had reluctantly turned off the camera and positioned it close to his place setting. There was no denying that Audrey was the best-dressed baby in their small Rhode Island town, not that Charlotte could take any of the credit. Any money she had went to the necessities, but soon that would all change. Soon she hoped to give her only child all that she deserved. She’d already started by giving her the gift of family. Next it would be a nice home. And after that…Well, some might say that a father figure would benefit Audrey, but Charlotte wasn’t taking any risks in that department any time soon. If ever.
Charlotte’s mother came into the room with a bowl of roasted squash. “Before you leave tonight, remind me that I have a few more things to give you.”
“Mom.” Charlotte felt her face flush. She darted her eyes to the doorway, happy that the friends and family who had gathered for the day were still in the kitchen, snacking on appetizers. Her mother was forever buying gifts lately, and while the clothes and toys were understandable, things like paper towels and laundry detergent made her always feel a strange mix of gratitude and humiliation.
Maura winked. “Just a few little things I couldn’t pass up. On sale for a steal. I couldn’t resist!”
Charlotte inwardly cringed. It wouldn’t be exactly easy to ask for yet another favor tonight when her parents were already offering up so much.
She wrapped a bib around Audrey’s neck—another gift, this one from her sister, Kate, and her fiancé, Alec—and snapped it closed. Her stomach felt funny as she mentally rehearsed the speech she would give. It had all seemed so much easier when she’d practiced in the shower this morning while Audrey took a brief nap.
“Turkey coming through!” Kate cried out now as their uncle Bill carried the large bird into the room and set it down on the center of the table.
Her cousin Bree, a strict vegetarian, hovered in the doorway, her top lip curling slightly. “Please tell me I will be eating more than mashed potatoes today.”
“There’s bread.” Her mother, Charlotte’s aunt Ellen, handed Bree a basket of rolls and disappeared back into the kitchen.
“Yum. Bread.” Bree’s older but considerably less mature brother, Matt, snatched one and took a large bite, causing Bree to swat him on the arm.
“It’s a good thing I had the sense to bring a salad,” Bree muttered.
“Out of curiosity,” Alec said as he came into the room. “Would you ever date a carnivore, Bree?”
Bree’s cheeks turned pink at the question. “Why? Did you have someone specific in mind?”
Now it was Alec’s turn to look uncomfortable. “Just curious is all.” He pulled out a chair and quickly settled himself into it.
Bree pinched her lips as she dropped the basket onto the table. “Good. The last thing I need right now is to be set up.”
Charlotte quietly seconded that sentiment as everyone took their seats, which wasn’t an easy feat this year with so many people tucked around the table. This year Alec’s brother, William, and his wife, also Kate’s best friend, Elizabeth, had joined with Elizabeth’s parents and brother. The two families were merging in a way, expanding the holiday cheer, and Charlotte was happy for it. She liked William. And she’d always liked Elizabeth. Even if she did make her feel a little uncomfortable these days.
She slid into the chair next to Elizabeth, feeling out the situation. Sure enough, Elizabeth’s smile was a little strained. Well, who could blame her? She was a loyal friend. And Charlotte…well, Charlotte hadn’t exactly been the most loyal sister in the recent past. And rectifying that was her top resolution.
“I think we’re ready to eat!” Frank said, his eyes shining as he practically licked his lips. Charlotte glanced over at Bree to see if she’d caught the gesture, and the horror widening in her cousin’s eyes told her that she had.
“The potatoes!” Maura suddenly cried as she started to push back her chair.
Charlotte, who had bent to pick up the spoon Audrey had dropped, stood and set her hand on her mother’s shoulders. “Allow me.”
It was the least she could do, considering that the pumpkin cheesecake she’d baked that morning had inexplicably curdled in the oven while the graham cracker crust had burnt to a crisp, causing the smoke alarms in her apartment to go off until she’d been forced to open the front door for thirty straight minutes and then sit with Audrey in the car to stay warm. The one thing she was asked to contribute, and she’d managed to ruin it. She’d brought a bottle of wine instead. Nice. Traditional. Perfectly acceptable once she’d wiped off the dust and checked the label, hoping that the age of it was a good thing, since it had been sitting in the back of her pantry for months and might have belonged to the former tenants.
She walked into the kitchen, her eyes coming to rest on Kate’s magazine-cover-worthy apple tart, complete with a perfect lattice crust and no doubt homemade vanilla bean ice cream to accompany it—something Kate had whipped up when it was announced that Charlotte wouldn’t be bringing the dessert after all.
Charlotte grumbled under her breath. Then, because she couldn’t resist, she flung open the freezer door and narrowed her eyes on the simple white carton that rested primly on the second shelf. Suspicion confirmed.
“I forgot the cranberries, too!” Her mother sighed as she came up behind her, but she paused when she noticed Charlotte’s frown. “Honey, what’s wrong?”
Charlotte closed the freezer with a guilty shrug. “Nothing.” Yet so much all at once. “I just feel bad about my cheesecake.” It was the first thing that came to mind, but she was horrified to realize a single hot tear had slipped down her cheek.
“Honey!” Maura’s laugh was good-natured as she brushed the tear away with the pad of her thumb. “It’s the thought that counts. Besides, we have this apple tart to enjoy. It looks beautiful, doesn’t it?”
“Hmm.” Charlotte felt her lips thin. She had spent Audrey’s entire morning nap carefully following the recipe she had printed at the office yesterday. She’d even made a special trip to the grocery store for the ingredients last night, which had cost a pretty penny. By the time she’d pulled the mess from the oven and stared at it in complete bewilderment, wondering where exactly she had gone wrong, Audrey had started crying again, needing to be changed and fed. And then the smoke alarm started to blare…
Now Charlotte set a hand to her forehead. She was just tired, that was all. Running on interrupted sleep for months on end could do that to anyone. She was crying over a cheesecake, of all things. A curdled, inedible, burnt-to-the-edges cheesecake.
But she knew from the ache in her chest that it really was about so much more.
“I guess I just wonder if I’ll ever get anything right,” she said as she spooned the mashed potatoes from the pot that was still warm on the stovetop into one of her mother’s best serving bowls.
“We all make mistakes, Charlotte. Don’t let them define you.” Her mother’s hand on her shoulder was kind, but her words were firm, and ones that Charlotte knew she should heed.
She finished filling the bowl slowly, wondering if now was the time to ask about moving back home for a while, just until she landed on steadier ground. No need to admit the extent of her mess. But even though she knew she had to ask—today—she couldn’t bring her mouth to form the words. To admit that she’d tried. And failed. Again.
“I have the cranberries,” Maura announced. “All set with the potatoes?”
The moment now lost, Charlotte nodded briskly and took a deep breath before following her mother back into the dining room, where everyone was clutching their forks, eager for the meal to begin.
As they did every Thanksgiving, each person went around the table and said what they were thankful for as her father carved the massive bird, which was a bit larger than usual this year.
“I’m thankful for the new additions to our Thanksgiving table,” Maura said, giving Audrey a little kiss on the head. “We don’t just have this precious little baby with us this year; we also have a fine young man and his parents. Alec, we’re so happy to welcome you to the family.”
Charlotte raised her glass to toast the happy couple on cue, but she couldn’t help but feel a little uneasy at the turn of events. Her sister was engaged (for the second time, but no need to harp on those details just now), and Charlotte was sitting pretty all alone. No man was waiting for her at home tonight. No man had gotten down on one knee and popped the question.
Jake Lambert hadn’t even met his daughter, much less acknowledged that she was his. Not that Charlotte would be admitting that to anyone. They all assumed he was contributing something, and she let them all think so. It was easier that way.
Alec’s turn was next. “I’m grateful for a short engagement,” he said with a mischievous grin.
“Oh, isn’t that sweet,” Maura said, tilting her head as she smiled wistfully.
“It’s not for the reason you think, Mom,” Kate corrected. She held out her plate as their father piled turkey onto it. “It’s not that he can’t wait to be married. It’s that he knows he only has to tolerate all my wedding planning for another eight weeks.”
Alec held up his palms. “Guilty as charged. Who knew there were so many varieties of roses?”
From beside her, Bree raised her hand, eliciting a laugh from the table. “Alec, I could tell you just how many varieties of roses there are, but I don’t think we have enough wine to keep you from panicking. Besides, I am happy to let you know that Kate has already been into my shop and she has narrowed down her choices to two different looks. Two very different looks, I might add, but all the same, two.”
Really? Charlotte frowned, wondering why she hadn’t been let it on this earlier. So Kate had gone to Bree’s flower shop, chatted about colors and arrangements and all that fun stuff, while Charlotte was either filing paperwork at the office they shared or sitting in her apartment with Audrey. Either way, she hadn’t been invited.
She glanced at Elizabeth, who was nodding along casually. Sure enough.
“Well, if it were up to me, we’d have gone to city hall last month when I proposed,” Alec said ruefully.
“That’s what Frank and I did, and I’ve always regretted it,” Maura said.
“That’s what I try telling Alec.” Kate shook her head. “But he’s too practical.”
“Aw, now…” Alec roped an arm over Kate’s shoulders and gave her a peck on the cheek. “You know I want you to have the wedding of your dreams. I just don’t want you losing sleep over it while you’re planning it!”
Kate gave a resigned smile. “It’s true that I have been losing some sleep. There are just so many hours in the day, and with client weddings to plan and Christmas parties, too, there’s always something to take my attention away from our big day.” She poked at her plate. “Maybe we should have planned for something for spring. But I had my heart set on a winter wedding.”
“January is a wonderful month to get married,” Maura said. “A new year. A new beginning. And Misty Point is so pretty when it’s covered with snow.”
“I can help,” Charlotte offered, eager to make herself useful, and not just because she wanted to preserve the good standing she had with her sister. She’d been working part-time in Kate’s new event planning company since August, and every extra assignment would go that much further to bettering her circumstances and, from the sound of it, Kate’s, too.
“I don’t want to put too much pressure on you, with a new baby and all that…” Kate looked uncertain, and Charlotte had to clench her teeth from blurting out that the income from the event company was all she had in this world, now that she’d gone through the loan their parents had given her, at an alarming rate, mind you. That there were no monthly stipends from Jake. That if anyone wanted to talk about pressure, it came in the form of the landlord breathing down her neck for November’s rent check.
She forced a reassuring smile. “It’s no pressure at all! I’m eager to build up my resume, and I really enjoy the work, Kate.” Sure, it was a struggle to balance her schedule with Audrey at times. Her sitter wasn’t always available, and she didn’t have the funds for day care just yet, but she needed to work. And she wanted to work. To prove to herself that she could stick with something. And to prove to Kate—and everyone else at this table—that she wasn’t the girl she’d once been.
“Well, next week is gearing up to be a tough one for me with two holiday parties and a fitting with my newest bridezilla. And I had hoped to finalize those floral arrangements…”
“Finally!” Bree blurted, shaking her head. She grabbed another roll from the basket and added it to her plate, which consisted solely of mashed potatoes and squash. The salad she had brought sat untouched at the far end of the table.
Kate eyed Charlotte, as if weighing her options. “All right, I’ll bring you in full-time through the month, starting Monday.”
Monday morning. Charlotte hoped the panic she felt didn’t show in her face. She hadn’t expected to go into the office until Tuesday afternoon, as usual, and she knew that her sitter was currently away for the holiday weekend in Connecticut. She supposed she could call her anyway, but Lisa hated short notice—always charged more for it, too, savvy opportunist that she was.
She squeezed the napkin in her lap, working through the logistics, and decided she had no alternative. Her mother still worked at the town library during the week. There was no one else to call on for a last-minute favor. And really, what choice did she have?
“Monday morning it is, then,” she said, feeling her spirits lift at the thought of a steadier paycheck.
“Wow, I feel like a load has been lifted from my shoulders already,” Kate said through a smile, and Charlotte felt her heart warm as it did every time her sister paid her a compliment.
“Your turn, Kate,” Frank said, steering the conversation back to the holiday tradition.
Kate reached over and slipped her hand onto Alec’s. “I’m grateful for second chances,” she said, and Charlotte found it hard to swallow the food she was chewing.
A second chance. That’s what this was, all right. And she wasn’t about to blow it. Last Thanksgiving Charlotte had been pregnant and alone, in a dark and musty basement apartment in Boston, twisted with anxiety, wondering if she would ever again be welcome in her childhood home. And now she was about to ask to move back into it. To admit that her second attempt to swing it on her own wasn’t working out.
She reached for her wineglass and allowed herself a sip—only because she wouldn’t be driving for a while. She’d stick around and help clean up after the rest of the family left. She’d explain to her parents that money was tight, and she wanted to build up her savings. She’d offer to pay a bit of rent, or help out around the house. Tidying up had never been her strong suit—that was more Kate’s area—but she could learn. Or at least, try.
She set her wineglass down, wondering if it would be that easy. Or if they’d ask why Jake’s child support payments weren’t enough, given what he was worth, and where she was spending the money. Even if they didn’t say it, she knew they’d wonder if she was being irresponsible. The way she used to be.
“What about you, Charlotte?” her mother asked.
Her heart felt heavy as she considered her response. There were so many things she could say, but only one thing mattered, really. “I’m just grateful to be here.”
No one said anything, but she knew that everyone at the table understood. It had been a rough year, for all of them in many ways, but this holiday, like Kate’s upcoming wedding, sparked a new beginning.
She eyed her sister, thinking of the rough times they’d been through, and how far they’d come. Everything had fallen into place…well, for Kate. As for herself, Charlotte was almost there. Soon she’d be finished paying for her mistakes. She’d move back in. Save some money. And then…And then things would be better.
“Since we’re all gathered together, we have some news to share.” Frank eyed Maura knowingly, and Charlotte shot her sister a look of alarm. No good news started with an announcement like that. Unless it was a marriage or a birth. And she very much doubted either of those were on the table for her parents.
“As you know, Grandma Daniels hasn’t been doing well for a while,” her father continued, and Charlotte murmured her sympathy, feeling all at once like a heel for panicking. Of course. Her grandmother had struggled with her health for a while now. It had been a source of stress to her father, who, as the only child, was forever hopping on a plane to tend to her, or worrying about her from afar. Charlotte looked around the table, thinking it was a shame that Granny couldn’t have joined them today.
She looked at her father, waiting for him to continue, wondering if he would announce that Granny was moving up to Rhode Island, to maybe live with them. She chewed her lip, selfishly wondering if that would impact her plans to move back in herself, but then decided that she and Audrey would just have to share her old bedroom while Granny took Kate’s. Not ideal, but what was anymore?
“It’s been a tough decision, but…Well, there’s no easy way to say it. We’ve decided to move to Florida to be with her.”
Silence fell over the room, and all that Charlotte could hear was the pounding of her own heart. She looked at her mother, then Kate, who seemed almost more bewildered than Charlotte herself felt.
“The warm air is better for her, and she needs family right now.”
Charlotte glanced at her baby daughter, who had only started to bond with her grandparents, and felt her eyes sting. She reached for her water glass with a shaking hand and brought it to her lips. There was nothing she could say. Nothing that wouldn’t sound completely selfish.
“When do you plan to go?” Kate finally asked, breaking the silence.
“Sunday,” her mother replied, and Charlotte nearly choked on the water. She coughed, and her mother slid her a strange look. “We’ve been talking about it for a while, and there just never seemed to be a good time to bring it up. It won’t be forever. We’re keeping the house—”
Oh, sweet Heaven. Thank goodness for small blessings. Charlotte closed her eyes, slumping back in her chair, feeling her panic subside.
“But we’re renting it out.”
“Will you be able to find a renter at this time of year?” Kate asked. Everyone knew that Misty Point was a summer destination.
Her mother looked to Ellen, and Charlotte felt another prickle of panic. Aunt Ellen was a real estate agent. And she’d clearly been let in on these plans long before everyone else had. “Thanks to my sister’s help, a couple came forward for a December first lease. We’d thought we’d go down south in January after the wedding, but, well, we decided to move up our plans!”
The conversation seemed to go on and on, but Charlotte stopped listening. Her head felt murky and her heart was racing, but despite all the questions she had and all the confusion, one thing was very clear: she was in trouble. Again.