Sam left early the next morning to get ready for work and I lounged in bed, feeling the ache of muscles I forgot I even had. When I thought about the night before, I could hardly believe it was real. Sam was so attentive, not to mention unbelievably sexy and, ahem, creative. I’d never been that turned on in my life. By the time we fell asleep it had been around two in the morning, so I didn’t feel too guilty spending some time laying around in bed.

I rolled over and sank my face into the pillow Sam had slept on, breathing in the scent of him. Then I hugged it to my chest and smiled like an idiot—or a well-and-truly-screwed woman. A sigh escaped from my chest and I suddenly realized that I hadn’t thought about Mike once during my night with Sam. Sure, Sam had brought my ex up as a joke, but even then I hadn’t really thought about my relationship with Mike—or our sex life.

That spoke volumes about both Sam’s skills and the man himself. When I’d been interacting with Linc and Will, I’d been unable to avoid comparing them to Mike in every way. At the time, I’d thought it was constructive—it was my way of moving past Mike. But now that I’d been with Sam, I realized letting Mike into any new experience was still giving him a part of me he didn’t deserve. Sam had gotten all of me last night, physically and mentally. And there had been nothing left for Mike to hold onto.

Except my heart, but that belonged to no one but me.

I finally forced myself out of bed and got ready for my day. The painters had arrived, and Alex said they’d probably finish the next day. Meanwhile, there were errands to run, and I had to do a little work on a project for the school. I couldn’t believe the girls would be starting their last year at Sunview Elementary in the fall. It seemed like yesterday they’d held hands on the way into the building to start kindergarten, and now they’d be ruling the school as fifth graders.

They were still at the beach, and I called them mid-morning to check in. Kate had sent me tons of photos the day before, and it looked like they were having a ball. Eileen was becoming an expert at boogie boarding, and Kate wanted to adopt a dolphin named Kingston. The fact that we were landlocked didn’t do much to dissuade her.

“We could always just turn the Miller’s pool into a salt-water pool and keep him there.”

“Oh, I’m sure they’d love that idea.” I rolled my eyes and grabbed a diet soda from the fridge.

“Although transporting him might be an issue …”

“You think?”

“Okay, fine. So we won’t get a dolphin.”

“Darn, and just when I was warming up to the idea,” I teased Kate.

“Ha ha.” My girls were starting to take after Jill and me way too much.

“Sounds like you guys are having an awesome time all around. I loved the pictures.” I leaned against the counter and popped the top on my soda.

“Yeah, it’s really fun here! Wait. Eileen wants to talk to you.”

The phone was passed and Eileen’s voice took over. “Hey, Mom! Did you see the boogie-boarding pictures?”

“I did! You look like a pro out there.”

“I think I’ve swallowed half the ocean, but I’m getting really good. I see surfing lessons in my future, just FYI.”

Again, no regard for the location of their home.

“If you can find a place to surf in Sunview, have at it, girl.”

“Meh. I’ll figure something out. So, what are you doing these days, Mom? Are you lost without us?” she teased.

“I’m managing to survive, but just barely.” I smiled into the phone.

“I’ll bet it’s super boring without us, though.”

Not as boring as you might think, little smarty pants.

“I may have been up to a thing or two.” My response was vague. They’d never learn about Sam, but the house would be a big surprise.

“Oooh, like what?” I’d definitely piqued her interest.

“That’s for me to know and you to find out.” I brought out my inner ten-year-old.

She didn’t bother moving the phone before yelling to her sister. “Kate, Mom is keeping secrets!”

“No fair!” I heard Kate yell playfully. “Unless it’s a new pig!”

“It’s not a new pig. Make sure she knows that,” I told Eileen and she laughed.

“I will.”

“Okay, you little chickies have fun today!”

I could hear the grin in Eileen’s voice. “You too, Mom.”

“Love you both.” I made a kissing sound.

“We love you too. Bye.”

Hearing my girls’ happy voices brought a warmth to my chest that just managed to edge out any tightness I felt at missing them.

I spent the rest of the day running my errands and going over the school project. Midway through some files, I realized I’d spent the entire day with an indelible grin on my face—one put there by Sam Martinez and his sexy bod. He’d even sent a naughty text that had my nether regions clamoring to invite him for another shagfest ASAP. I shook my head to try and snap myself out of it and heard what I thought was a knock on my door. A glance at my watch told me it couldn’t be Sam—he was working a long shift and wouldn’t be done for at least another hour or two.

I swung the door open and found Valley Archer on my porch, dressed casually in cut-off jeans shorts and a form-fitting tank. I hadn’t seen her since the pool party, when I’d really seen her. But given my night of abandon hours before, the discomfort of knowing the location of each of her birthmarks dissipated. I gave her a smile.

“Kids still gone?” she asked before I could greet her. I nodded and she continued with a sigh. “I just got mine back today. Guess my Mommycation is over.”

I grinned and quirked a brow. “Mommycation? I think I like that term.”

“Feel free to use it; it’s not trademarked or anything.”

It was only then I realized Valley seemed to be a bit on edge, which was totally unlike her. She was usually an uber-confident force of nature. I was just about to invite her in when she explained her reason for stopping by.

“I wanted to get your feedback on a couple of fabric selections.”

“Oh, okay, for the media center, you mean?” Valley was an interior designer and she’d graciously volunteered to help with the redesign of the school’s media center—one of the projects that had me going to school meetings this summer as well. I motioned for her to come in, but couldn’t fathom how I could be of help. Valley had impeccable taste. In fact, I was a bit afraid to ask what she thought of my house makeover.

She came in and I closed the door behind us. “I can’t stay very long. I left the kids at home alone for a few minutes,” she explained.

“Oh? David’s working late tonight?” Valley’s husband was a busy architect, but it was unusual not to see his car pull up before dinner time.

What I thought was an innocent question had an unexpected effect on my neighbor. Before I knew what was happening, Valley was in tears in my entryway. To say I was shocked was putting it mildly. This was Valley Archer—poised, unapologetic, take-no-bullshit Valley.

My jaw may have been on the floor. “Valley?”

She sobbed something unintelligible, and I immediately pulled her into my arms. Something awful must have happened to put her in this state. She continued to cry as I led her to the couch and pulled her down to sit with me.

“What’s going on?” I released my hold on her, but stroked her back, trying to offer what comfort I could.

“David left,” she blurted out through her tears. “We got into a huge fight about our … lifestyle.”

I forced a nod and pretended to be nothing but concerned—which I was. Truthfully, though, I was a completely surprised at her admission. I’d heard murmurings at the pool party about the Archers dabbling in swinging but found that difficult to believe—until now. I knew absolutely nothing about that lifestyle, but I did know that Valley and David were utterly devoted to each other. So who was I to judge? I’d had an absurdly traditional marriage, and look how that turned out.

“I don’t know if he’s coming back.” She sniffled and I handed her a tissue from the box on the end table. “I don’t know if our marriage is over or what.”

I immediately shook my head. David adored Valley and their kids. “He’ll be back. He just needs time to process everything. You know how men are. They can’t talk shit out like we can.” I tried a grin and it seemed to work a little bit.

She let out a weak laugh before continuing, “He’s in Denver looking for a new job.”

WTF? “Denver? He lost his job?”

Valley nodded. “He was working on a big project for a church. Word got around that we’re swingers, and they fired him.”

I sat up straight. “Oh my God, Valley, that’s horrible! He’s probably mad about that, sweetie, not mad at you.” Getting fired is a huge ego blow to anyone, let alone a successful husband and father.

She looked so sad I wanted to pull her back into another hug. “No, he blames me. He blames me for being so indiscreet—not to mention drunk—at the Miller’s pool party last weekend. Some people gossiped and it got back to the church board.”

“Wow.” See, this was exactly why I hadn’t shared the rumors I’d heard with Jill. You never knew how far word could spread. I wished I had better words of reassurance, but I understood how this could be a huge issue.

Valley stood and made to leave, apparently having spent her allotted quota of girl-time sharing. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have even said anything. Hell, if Emily finds out, I’ll probably get kicked off the media center project.”

I laughed, but she wasn’t wrong about that. Emily Walters was a battleax with fixed opinions on just about everything. She probably had a direct line to God himself and didn’t hesitate to offer suggestions on how to run the universe. “Would that be such a bad thing?” I offered.

She laughed a little in return, but her pain was evident. “No, probably not.” She took a deep breath and smoothed her raven hair, returning to the Valley I recognized.

I stood and gave her another hug. “I’m sure you guys will work things out.” And I was. The way she and David looked at each other told a story I’d never known myself—a deep and pure devotion grounded by unshakeable love. They’d be okay, whether it was here or in Denver.

“Thanks, Jenna. I hope so too.” She pulled out of my arms and left for home.

Try as I might, I couldn’t shake the disconcerting feeling I had following Valley’s visit. Relationships undoubtedly complicated things, but without them, life was flat and meaningless. Right?

* * *

“I need you to be one hundred percent honest with me. Is there another woman?” My leg bounced nervously as I sat in the conference room at my lawyer’s office, facing Mike across the expansive table. Our lawyers had yet to arrive, so it was just Mike and I. I couldn’t remember the last time we’d been in a room together without the girls’ presence as a distraction. I was beginning to suspect he’d been orchestrating it that way, and I had to ask.

He shook his head, his light brown hair perfectly styled and not moving a fraction of an inch. “Jenna, you know me better than that.”

I almost laughed. I absolutely did not know this man. If I knew him as well as he claimed, I would have seen this divorce coming from a mile away. Instead, it had blindsided me.

“I honestly can’t think of another reason you’d walk out on me and the girls without even giving counseling or trial separation a try. It makes no sense.” I forced my hands to lay flat on the tabletop.

His lips thinned and I suddenly wanted to punch him right in the mouth. Just jump across the table and bloody his stupid lip. It would be so satisfying—both for the release and the look on his face. I’d anticipated the anger phase to kick in at some point, but I didn’t realize how abrupt its arrival would be. I honestly didn’t know I had a bloodthirsty side.

“Believe it or not, I did try, Jenna.” He sighed.

Uh, what in the hell? “When?” My voice rose and he looked around as if embarrassed, but we were the only ones in the room.

Ever careful to avoid a scene, Mike’s voice was quiet yet firm. “In the months leading up to our talk.”

What in the everloving fuck was he talking about? I assumed by “our talk” he meant his sudden declaration that he was divorcing me. Up until then, he hadn’t said a word, and his behavior had been status quo. I admit, so was mine, but I figured we were in a rut and we’d pull ourselves out of it eventually. In retrospect, that had been a careless attitude, but still.

“Mike, you never said a word. How was I supposed to know you were so unhappy?”

His response was immediate, as if he’d been reciting it in his head all along in order to justify his cowardly behavior. “It’s your job as my wife to be able to tell when things are drastically wrong in our relationship.”

“It’s your job as my husband to tell me what’s wrong,” I volleyed back, just as quickly.

Mike sighed and looked at me for a moment before speaking. “We’re going to have to agree to disagree.”

I was fuming by that point. He could undoubtedly hear my heel clacking on the wood floor as my leg bounced at a rapid clip. It had been six months since he’d packed his bags and gave me the old, “Well, it’s been fun” speech. I’d spent all that time heartbroken, unable to understand how this man I’d loved for so long could just throw it all away. The girls were heartbroken too, and I did my damnedest to keep things upbeat for their sake, but I stopped counting the number of nights I cried myself to sleep.

I had trusted this man, loved this man, had children with this man, and he threw it all back in my face because he was … bored? He didn’t deserve my tears, and he didn’t deserve my heart—or my time.

Unable to look at his stupid face for one more second, I pushed my chair back and got up.

“Where are you going? We need to sign the papers!”

My feet took me to the door on shaky legs, but I refused to turn back. “I guess you’ll just have to serve me.”

And then I was gone. I managed to make it all the way home before bursting into tears. Yes, I had trusted him with my love and my girls, and he’d revealed himself to be unworthy. But, almost worse than that was the knowledge that I had trusted myself—my judgment and my instincts—and I’d been so very wrong. I’d never have to put my trust in Mike again, but how could I go forward not knowing if I could trust myself?

The next day, the final papers arrived. Jill handed me a pen and a glass of wine, and we agreed I had eighteen months. Then there would be no more excuses to get back out and enjoy life. Until then, I’d focus on my girls, my job, and healing what Mike had broken. And hopefully learn to trust myself again.