-37-
Tara
I allowed myself, just for a moment, to imagine what it would be like if Grant joined us. It was all in my head, a safe place away from my heart. I pictured his mouth on my tits while Regan’s was on my neck. His fingers sliding inside me while Silas fucked my ass. Three people all focused on me at once.
I shivered.
Joseph’s voice broke through the fog. “Regan. It’s Grant’s turn.”
I tensed, and beneath me, Silas slowed to a stop. Everything else happened too fast. Regan stepped off the stair, and Grant climbed up. He was gloriously naked. The impressions from the gag were fading quickly from his face, and he looked very much like he usually did. Sexy. Beautiful. Like the man I’d fallen in and out of love with.
Wasn’t I lying to myself about that last part? I hadn’t been able to turn off my feelings for him, no matter what I did, which meant I was still just the teeny-tiniest bit in love with him.
He stood motionless, waiting for direction, but looked ready to take me as soon as Joseph snapped his fingers.
He didn’t snap them, but he pointed to the edge of the table and looked at me. “I want your feet here.”
I sucked in a breath, knowing what was coming next if I followed his order, and what would happen if I didn’t. I could plead my case that I didn’t want my first time with Grant to be like this, but my mind roared back it didn’t matter. Because the first time was also supposed to be the last.
I’d spent years separating emotion from sex. Why the fuck couldn’t I do it now?
Joseph was annoyed at my delay. “Is what I’m asking you to do physically challenging?”
“No, Sir,” I whispered.
“Then do what I fucking said.”
That sounded more like the Joseph from three years ago. His dark tone spurred submissive me into compliance. I leaned back, placing my hands on Silas’s hard chest, awkwardly unfolded my legs, and slid them forward. I brought my knee up and planted one foot, then the other, while keeping him uncomfortably lodged inside my body.
It opened me up. Made space for Grant to move in. For him to have and share me.
The tremble in my arms had nothing to do with muscle fatigue from supporting my weight, and everything to do with him. Why was his dick hard? Why did he look at me like he was dying to have this?
“Do it,” Joseph said.
It was emotional warfare, and Joseph had weaponized Grant against me, and most of me didn’t care. We’d been waiting for this moment for so long, how it happened wasn’t relevant.
The question hung in Grant’s eyes. Are you sure?
I pressed my lips together and nodded. He moved in, nudging his tip against me, and then inside.
“Fuck,” all of us said as a single unit. Joseph allowed it without discipline.
Tight. That was the only word I possessed, the only thought I had. I was so full, stretched beyond comfort and verging dangerously close to pain. But like most pain I received in this room, it came with pleasure too.
I gasped for breath, swallowing air as Grant advanced, pushing deeper.
I’d had double penetration before, but never with two men. It had always been a toy or a finger subbed in. This was shockingly different. Not just in its physical feeling, but to know I was being shared. Two men taking their pleasure from me at the same time.
My pussy clenched, choking on Grant’s dick, and he latched onto my waist, as if needing to hang on. His gaze was intense, and I couldn’t look away. I wouldn’t dream of it. There was nowhere else to look but him.
No directions came from Joseph. Silas began to move as Grant did, and the men fumbled along until they found a rhythm. It was like a dance, in a strange way. The trio of us working together, everyone’s movement relying on the others.
Heat filled my core. I wasn’t going to last long like this. It felt so different, so new, and way, way too good. The muscles of Silas’s chest beneath my hands bunched. He groaned in succession, getting louder as we hit our stride.
Grant had one hand on my waist, and he scooped the other behind my neck, helping to hold me steady. We were only a breath from each other, and his gaze dropped down to trace my lips. He was thinking about kissing me. I was thinking about it too.
But then I began to cross over, where the need for release pushed everything else out of its way. I half-moaned, half-sobbed as I tried to convey what was coming, warning the men. Grant froze, but it was too late for Silas. He continued to pump and tipped us both over the edge.
My cry was panicked as it rang in the room, followed by his deep gasp and a bunch of curse words. I rode out my orgasm with both men inside me, and as I came, I hung onto the back of Grant’s neck, mirroring his hold.
He watched me, his mouth hanging open. Could he feel every pulse of my body on him? Could he feel Silas’s? The orgasm was sharp and intense, but so overwhelming, I was almost relieved when it began to let up.
Everything was hazy in the aftermath. I was lifted off Silas, and he slid back, out of my way, so I could sit on the edge of the table and wrap my legs around Grant’s waist. Joseph was there, handing a handful of wipes to Silas as he climbed off the table.
As I continued to recover, Grant simply watched me, fascinated. The air in the room began to swirl and shift. Silas cleaned up and pulled on his clothes, but Joseph moved in, standing at the side of the table. I got the sense that whatever he’d planned for the evening, it had all been leading up to this moment, when I was at my weakest.
I yanked up my shields, preparing for the next round. Grant was still inside me, and I was sure now Joseph wanted him to get inside my mind too.
“Tell her you’re sorry,” Joseph said.
Grant’s expression was heartbreaking as he whispered it. “I’m so sorry.”
“No,” I said.
But it was ignored. “Now tell her you know what you did was wrong, and you will never, ever do anything like that again.”
Before Grant could repeat it, I snarled it out. “No.”
“Put your fingers in her mouth,” Joseph commanded.
Grant reached up and pushed his first two fingers past my lips, all the way to the top knuckle, stopping my tongue from moving. His expression pleaded with me to listen. “I promise you, I’ll never do anything like that again.”
“Tell her it doesn’t have to happen tonight, but you need her to forgive you. Not want, but need.”
My tremble was back and picked up steam. Shudders rolled down my legs.
Grant sounded desperate. Lost. “I need you to forgive me.”
“And ask her where your needs fit in the hierarchy.”
Fucking Joseph. Hot tears stung my eyes. The sub’s needs were first, but the dom’s needs were next, and Grant had put mine first at every step of the way. He’d helped with my audition. Learned a new piece of music. Given up his rugby game for me. Gone to the terrible dinner with my sister.
Not to mention, he’d followed every rule Silas and Regan had dished out. All for me.
He’d honored the hierarchy, and I had to do the same. Thankfully, his fingers retreated from my mouth, so I could answer.
“Speak,” Joseph said.
Only he wasn’t specific in who his order was for, and Grant seized the window of opportunity. It spilled from him like wine from an uncorked bottle. “If this is all we can be, I’ll take it. If you only want me around to play cello, or watch, or be your fourth with Silas and Regan, yes. I’ll do it.” He took in a deep breath. “If all you have left for me is scraps, I want them.” His voice was solid. Absolute. “Anything to be with you, Tara.”
I couldn’t stop the tears. I blinked, and they streamed hotly down my cheeks. “Why?”
“Because I love you.”
I was done. Obliterated by his admission, and then by his kiss. He hadn’t asked for permission, but I was glad. It would have slowed down the time it took before our lips met, and I needed the connection to him right that instant.
His mouth roved against mine, tasting like love.
“Speak,” Joseph ordered, and it was very apparent who he was talking to.
I broke the kiss and wiped my tears from my cheeks with a shaky hand. “I love you too.”
He pushed me down and onto my back, climbing on top of the table. “Forgive me.”
“Yes,” I whispered. And I said it again as he slid inside me. “Yes.”
Gone was Joseph’s hard voice. This one was gentle, as if the moment had moved him. “Take off her collar.”
Because I didn’t belong to Joseph. Nor Regan, or Silas.
I was Grant’s.
Every piece of me, even the ones I’d tried to hide. He wanted them all, and I would give them, because he was mine. He raced to get the collar undone, and when I was free, he dropped it over the side of the table. By the time it thudded to the ground, everyone else was moving toward the door.
They sensed we needed this time together alone. I wanted to thank them, but I got lost in Grant’s urgent kiss. It was full of so much passion, it nearly restarted my tears. Then, his hips moved, reminding me of all the places we were connected.
I was fragile, but he pieced me gradually back together on the table.
His slow movements built until we were breathless, sticky with sweat, moans pouring from our lips. He laced our hands together, whispered he loved me, and showed it with every kiss.
And when I came, he followed right behind, collapsing on top of me with a gasp.
I loved the weight. The feel of him.
As he caught his breath, he drew a finger over my forehead, brushing the hair out of my face. We lay like that, together on the table, wrapped around each other until our bodies cooled.
Finally, I had to break the silence.
“How many more chapters have you written?” I asked.
A smile hinted on his lips. “A few.”
“I have notes.”
A soft laugh came from him. “I’d love to go over them with you, but can it wait until the morning? I have other things I’d like to do with you first.” He kissed me deeply and slowly, making the promise there’d be many more to come.