LUCY
Six Years Ago
Impatiently I sit on the edge of the park bench waiting for David to make an appearance. It isn’t unusual for him to be late, it’s even a possibility he won’t show up at all. David and I have been in a relationship for two years, but the last six months have been rough.
Getting together our senior year of high school, it was your typical friends to lovers scenario. We hung out in the same crowd, we had the same classes and went to all the same parties. I thought we’d be together forever.
I always knew David wanted to go to college, and while I hadn’t made my mind up yet, I ignorantly waved him off to the city thinking everything would be okay. Boy was I wrong.
This year was hard, and the last three months even worse. David became douchebag David, he would come down to Piney View once a month if that, and most of his time involved hanging out with the guys. If we saw one another, it was all about the sex and he couldn’t make the effort for me outside of that. The boy I knew was turning into a man I wanted nothing to do with.
I had planned to put my big girl panties on and call it quits, but instead I’m sitting here, waiting to tell him news that will change our lives forever. Praying somehow we can work this out together.
I hear the rustle of autumn leaves under his feet before I see him, and wait till the very last minute to look up. Inhaling the cold, brisk air, I notice a very irritated looking David staring in my direction.
“Is everything okay?” he asks.“I thought we weren’t meeting till tomorrow? I’ve got to get to Wes’ house to watch the game with the boys.”
“Of course, wouldn’t want to keep you,” I say dryly. He raises his eyebrows expectantly and I internally chastise myself for rising to the bait so quickly. Closing my eyes I count to ten and give myself the pep talk I need to get through this. There’s no point in delaying this any longer.
“Dave.” Hoping the use of his nickname will remind him of the happier times we shared. I wait for his concern to kick in, and a slight chuckle slips out of my mouth when I realize it’s not going to happen. “I’m pregnant,” I blurt out.
“Wait, what?” He runs his fingers through his hair, tugging at the ends lightly. His body reacts to my words, like a kick to the stomach he bends at the waist. His breath loud and heavy. “Is it mine?”
Thinking there’s no way I heard right, I wait for him to stand up and look at me.
“Is it mine?” He repeats, glaring at me. God I want to kick him in the balls right now.
I do nothing to disguise my disgust at his accusation. “What do you mean is it yours? How many people do you think I’ve slept with?”
Finding the long plank of wood, David sits down and eventually manages to look me in the eyes. “Are you going to keep it?”
My heart stops. This isn’t how I wanted him to react. I’m being foolish, I know, but part of me desperately wanted him to be excited, for this to be the missing part of our puzzle. The other anticipated the shock, the lack of support and the denial, but what David doesn’t realize is not having this baby isn’t an option. It’s not how I was raised and it’s not something I feel comfortable with. Would I love his input? Yes. Do I need it? Hell fucking no.
“Yeah, Dave. I’m keeping it.” The silence stretches between us as he looks everywhere but me. “Is that okay? I mean, are you going to do this with me?” I hate the vulnerability in my voice, he doesn’t deserve that from me.
He rises and strides toward me till we’re toe to toe. “Luce.., I met someone.”
“Sorry?” I question. “I thought I just heard you say you met someone, when I’m pretty sure we’re still together.”
Lowering his face, he at least has the decency to look slightly ashamed. “I met her at college. And it just happened, you know?” he explains.
“No. No, I don’t fucking know. This is why you barely visit? Why you can barely stomach to make an effort?” The realization of exactly what’s happened between us crushes me. I step backwards as I stare at my biggest regret. Never once did I think he was cheating on me. I shake my head, as the tears drip down my face, “You couldn’t break up with me? Instead you just strung me along. And you had sex with both of us?” My questions turn into accusations and the frantic beating of my heart, has me struggling to breathe.
“Lucy. Lucy,” he shouts louder. “Breathe, baby. Breathe.”
“Don’t you fucking dare,” I seethe. I wipe the tears off my face and straighten my back. His eyes meet mine, regret warring with hurt and I know with all my heart this is the last time I’ll ever see David again.
“I just don’t see myself being a dad yet,” he admits.
As defeat begins to wrap itself around me, I know I need to end this conversation and go home. “David, I don’t ever want to see you again.” Folding my arms across my chest, I lay down the rules, loud, clear, and non-negotiable. “My baby will want for nothing; no thanks to you.”
“I’m sorry, Luce.” His voice is full of guilt.
“It’s Lucy to you and sorry isn’t going to cut it. You made your choice. Don’t think for one second I’m going to absolve you of your guilt.” Leaving him behind, I walk away from the boy that broke my heart, the way only your first love can. Looking over my shoulder, I threaten him with everything I have. “And if you think for one second you’ll ever be able to waltz back into town interested in my baby. You’ve got another thing coming.”