This time could only be described as expansive. Last time Magnus was gone I waited, worried and unsure. In a holding pattern, looping around inside his house, with his staff, in his life. But this time I was truly running a household. I had gathered Magnus’s chosen clan around me, and I was caring for all of them. Organizing, managing, making a ton of lists with little check marks down the sides: done, done, done. On enthusiastic days I scratched lines through the entries — finished.

I was Kaitlyn Campbell, and I ran this shit. I was Queen of the Highlander’s castle.

I was super proud.

And I never thought about Lady Mairead’s threat that I would never see him again.

Mostly.

Days passed, weeks, and then months. So much time that the waiting went from active to passive and then to waiting, but not thinking about it nearly as much. It freaked me out but was probably totally necessary to keep me sane.

Turning off the worrying, thinking, hoping, crying. It was a relief.

I went out. I met Hayley, Michael, and James for drinks. I drank shots and laughed and danced and sparred with James as per usual.

“Alone again Katie?” His face when he teased me like this was incredulous. “You’ve got to be getting pretty lonely by now.”

“Yes and yes and none of your business.”

He drank a bit more. “You sure you don’t need someone to keep you company?”

“God no, I’m married.”

“I’ve just never known someone to see their husband so little. It almost makes the whole marriage thing seem like a sham. Ya sure you ain’t bullshitting us?”

“Nope. Magnus just has work. Scotland work. . . ”

“I know what you told me he does. I know what you said, but here’s what it looks like: You’re a newlywed. You’ve been married for almost a year. You went and spent four months alone in a ‘hippy camp’ and you’ve seen your husband for all of a — how long?”

“Like a week. . . ”

“See, I don’t want to be the one that tells you this, but seriously Katie, he’s gone.” He dropped his voice, “and whatever bullshit story he told you about where he is, well that’s on you for believing him.”

“Bullshit.”

“Not from where I’m sitting.” He leaned back, hands out. “Hey, I’m the kind of guy who would do that if I could. You know me, I’m not faulting a man for trying to get a bit on the side. It’s what men do, but I just thought you were smarter.”

Hayley came back from the bathroom and looked at our faces. “Miss anything?”

“James is insinuating that Magnus left me, that all men play around, and that I’m a dumbass for waiting for him.”

“Michael are you going to sit there and let him say shit like that to Katie? You need to step up.”

“What am I going to say? He’s making some good points.”

“He said all men play around, you playing around? You agree with him? Because I’m walking if you don’t distance yourself from this right now.”

Michael said, “Big J is full of shit.”

“Exactly. Magnus just has business. That’s all it is. He’ll be back soon. And James you shut up. You sound like a dick. And a loser. ”

James held up his hand in his I’m-a-dick-but-mostly charming kind of way. “I was just calling it like I see it, no hard feelings, right Katie?”

“No hard feelings. But seriously James, you keep arguing that all men are lying cheaters and you’re going to believe it. And then you’ll become one of those guys who can’t perform because you’re so shallow and empty and small and lonely. I think you should try to be better than that.”

“Ouch.”

“Yep, ouch.”

“Let me buy you a drink, and we’ll talk about something more fun.”

“No hitting on me anymore though, I’m married. My husband carries a sword. Plus, I was going to offer you a job.”

“A job?”

“I need a contractor for some apartments I’m buying.”

Because life had to go on. There was a future to think of. People to care for and worry about, in the here and now.

Also the future.

There was a baby about to be born. A bestie about to be married. Work to be done.

And so that’s what I would do, be Kaitlyn, forward-thinking, future-planner.

And so that’s what I did.

For months.