Cooper

I sighed, glancing at my digital calendar as I tried for the fourteenth time that morning to rearrange my meetings in some way that allowed me to squeeze the most into my day. Too bad that wasn’t the only thing on my mind. As I shifted one mixer and another golf outing, I stared at the orange highlighted dates on the screen. They were colored but blank—I hadn’t typed the words on the calendar, but I knew what they meant.

Time with Corinne.

In the past three weeks since our night at the museum, we’d seen each other three or four times a week, but try as I might, there was still something between us. An invisible wedge. A bridge that I wasn’t allowed to cross.

Not that I hadn’t tried. I’d taken her to movies and readings and art galleries. Cooked her dinner at my place and asked her every question I could think of—her favorite television show, her favorite toy as a kid, her childhood best friend’s name. She answered me patiently, but in spite of all my efforts, I felt like I still didn’t know her. The real her. Like there was something she was keeping from me.

But it was more than that. As the weeks wore on, I started to notice little quirks. Like how we could never head back to her apartment after a night out. She never stayed over at my place, either. And when I’d suggested going away for a weekend? She’d flatly refused, saying “it simply wasn’t possible.”

I’d tried to be patient, but it was getting to the point that I couldn’t be patient much longer. Not without some explanation beyond the one she always gave. That her life was just too complicated for anything more than what we were doing. That she appreciated the sex and the company, but we could never be anything more.

And for now? I was taking what I could get.

Not because I didn’t want more—I wanted everything. But if she wasn’t willing to give herself to me completely? Well, I wasn’t willing to let go of what little parts of her I could have.

She was incredible. Smart and driven at work, punctual and professional. And in bed? She was better than anyone I’d ever been with. So needy and responsive. So thirsty for more.

Even if I’d wanted to, I couldn’t walk away from her. Not now. Not yet.

But that didn’t stop me from daydreaming about what else we could be. About what she might be like when that wall of ice around her heart melted away and she finally let me in.

Tapping my calendar for the millionth time, I added another orange dot to the night of the company mixer—a hopeful dot—and then buzzed Corinne to head into my office.

Within five minutes, she appeared, her red pencil skirt clinging to her hips and showing off her perfect hourglass frame. Her hair was pulled into a professional knot at the nape of her neck, and I imagined running my fingers through her silky locks until they tumbled all around her face.

“Good morning,” I said, careful to remind myself of the professional atmosphere we’d sworn to maintain.

“Morning,” she said, her cheeks slightly pink as she smiled at me.

My body responded instantly, but I forced myself to focus.

“I have a list of things we need to go over before the gala this weekend. Will you take a seat?” I motioned to the leather chair across from my desk and she slipped into it easily, setting her clipboard on her knee as she waited for me to speak.

I cleared my throat, trying my best not to stare at the faintest hint of cleavage that peeked out from her button-down top, and then glanced at the list of questions in front of me, delegating each task while ensuring she had everything else in order.

As always, she was rock steady and had everything under admirable control.

“Anything else?” she asked when my battery of questions had finally been satisfied.

I glanced at the closed door, letting my imagination run away with me for a moment. I could ask for so, so much more, but instead I said, “Just having some trouble with my calendar. Too many events, not enough hours in the day.”

“Want me to take a look?” she asked. “See if I can reschedule some things or take them off your plate?”

“Sure.”

I motioned to the computer screen in front of me and she rounded my desk, leaning over to study my schedule and putting her ass on full, perfect display. She shifted slightly, her pouty mouth pursed as she tried to make sense of all I had to do. But then, when she jutted her hip out to the side, it was too much.

I wrapped my hands around her waist and pulled her into my lap side-saddle, kissing the creamy length of her neck until I reached the shell of her ear.

“You tricked me,” she murmured breathlessly.

“I didn’t mean to. You’re just so damn hot,” I murmured, nibbling on her earlobe.

“Cooper . . . someone could come in.”

“So what? I’m the boss,” I whispered, blowing lightly into her ear. “And no one but you comes in without knocking. Don’t make me stop.”

“I have to.” She squirmed a little but stayed in my lap all the same. “We agreed not to mix work and pleasure.”

“Okay, I’ll stop, but only if you reconsider coming away with me next weekend,” I said, pulling back and fighting the ache in my swollen cock.

She shook her head. “I told you. I can’t.”

“Not ever? Do you turn into a pumpkin at midnight or something? Were you cursed by an evil witch?”

She rolled her eyes. “Of course not, silly. I just can’t. It’s complicated.”

“I’m starting to learn that a lot about you is complicated,” I said softly as I released her, both sexually and emotionally frustrated.

She cupped my jaw and held my gaze with her solemn one. “It’s the truth.”

“All I want is to get to know you. I feel like there are parts of you, even after all this time together, that I just don’t know or understand.”

“And that bothers you?” she asked.

“It bothers me when I feel like there’s something between us, yeah. I know part of the reason you agreed to this arrangement was so that you could feel more comfortable in the bedroom. Tell me, do you?”

“I do,” she said, her voice low as her lean throat worked.

“So, what’s going on? We enjoy each other’s company. We’re magic in the sack. What’s holding you back?” I asked, unable to hold it in any longer.

She considered me for a long moment and then let out a shuddery breath, locking her gaze somewhere over my shoulder. “Do you want to know why I never felt comfortable in bed? I mean, other than my general lack of experience?”

I managed to nod, but an ominous feeling slid through me suddenly, and I took her hand. “You don’t have to—”

She shook her head and pressed on. “It’s not a story I like to talk about, but when I was thirteen . . .” She took a shaky breath and started again, the words coming out in a rush. “When I was thirteen, I lived in a foster home with relatively few kids. That was a first for me. The parents were older, and they had a nineteen-year-old son who was home for the summer from college. Everyone was nice to me, but the son . . . he was too nice.”

I stayed silent, not wanting to interrupt or derail the rare moment of vulnerability, but nausea slicked my belly.

“One night, late, he sneaked into my room, and he, um, he touched me. Inappropriately. He said it would be our little secret and told me not to tell.”

I gritted my teeth, fighting the urge to howl with outrage. To somehow find the bastard, even now, and rip out his beating heart.

“I didn’t say anything, at first.” Corinne swallowed hard. “But then I finally told. His parents didn’t believe me, or if they did, they did nothing about it and expected me to just grin and bear it. I managed to avoid him until my caseworker came to the house for a check, and I immediately told her what happened. She took me from the home that very day. Ever since then, sexual contact has been . . . difficult for me.” She stared at the far corner of the room, refusing to meet my gaze.

“I’m so sorry. Did he—” I stopped myself, not wanting to press. Still, I had to know. Had her first time been that? Rape? The story was sickening enough, but that would make it even worse. God, how could she even let me touch her after that kind of violation?

She shook her head. “It could have been much worse than it was. He didn’t rape me. My first time was when I was much older.”

My hands remained fisted at my sides.

“Thanks for telling me all that. I know it was hard for you, and it explains a lot. You’re such a warrior,” I said, shaking my head, even more in awe of her.

She gave me a shaky smile. “I just did what I had to do. And it was about time I told you. It’s not a story I tell much, is all.”

“I can understand that. It’s a big thing to trust someone with. So, thank you for giving me that trust.”

A moment of silence passed between us as she leaned back against me, and I wrapped my arms around her waist. She sighed and I breathed deep, drinking in the scent of her perfume as my mind drifted again.

Even after all of that, though, everything she shared, I knew that there was more. A whole room of ghosts still locked away. I could feel it in the tension of her body, see it in the worried lines on her face. And as furious and sick and terrible as her admission had made me feel, if there was more, I wanted to know it. I wanted to make it all better, in some small way.

“So,” I said, breaking the silence, “I’ve been thinking.”

“You don’t say,” she teased.

Ignoring her, I pressed on. “I’ve been thinking, and I was wondering if, with all this extra help in the bedroom and your newfound sexual confidence, you might be able to date soon.”

“Date date?” She raised her eyebrows and I nodded.

“I don’t think so.” The teasing light disappeared from her eyes, and those worry lines returned with a vengeance.

“Why not?”

She chewed on her bottom lip, then shook her head. “You know, I’ve been thinking a lot about this too. For the past few weeks, actually. Cooper, you’re a great guy—”

“Don’t,” I shot back, stiffening. “Don’t do that. You’re not ending our arrangement. We’re too damned good together.”

It took everything I had not to remind her of that here and now.

“No,” she said carefully. “I’m not. But just because I’m not ready to date doesn’t mean you shouldn’t. I don’t want to hold you back. I mean, you’re a really great guy, and I have no doubt you’re going to find someone amazing. When you do, I’ll just fade into the background with lots of fond memories. The point is, if someone catches your eye? Go for it. Ask her on a date. Just because we agreed not to sleep with other people doesn’t mean you can’t keep your options open.”

“I still don’t understand why I can’t date you,” I said. “We do everything else together.”

She pursed her lips. “Look, this job, the sex, you—it’s all more than I could have hoped for in my wildest dreams, but I’m not ready for a committed relationship like that, and I know that you are. Don’t mistake this for something it’s not, Cooper. I’m not available the way you want me to be.”

Her words dug into my heart like sharp talons, but I nodded all the same, pretending I didn’t feel the ache of her rejection. At least she wasn’t ending our arrangement. That was the best I could hope for now, and it was something.

“Fine, we’re not dating, but I do need someone to accompany me to the gala this weekend,” I said.

“Cooper—”

“Just hear me out. We don’t have to make it a date. We can go as friends, but I don’t have time to get out there and find someone, and I certainly don’t want to go by myself.”

“Why not?”

“Because it’s work related, and it makes me look bad to not have a date. I’m going as a glorified babysitter. The mixer is just for the girls and our clients to meet, so the clients have better context when they browse the online database, and I’ll only be there to make sure nobody gets too drunk and humps in the bathroom. Believe me, I highly doubt there will be time for romance. Think of it as more of a work function.”

She laughed. “Sounds like a fun night. A work function where our job is to keep people from humping in the bathrooms. How could I say no to that?”

“Exactly. So don’t. Date or not, just come with me.”

She frowned, surveying me with those dreamy blue eyes of hers. Finally, she said, “Okay, I’ll go. But I’m telling you, the food better be incredible if I’m going to have to break up drunk people grinding on each other.”

“Only the best for you.” I grinned. “Promise.”

In spite of my smile, there was a chill settling in my bones. She’d told me the darkest of secrets, something that had shaped her entire life from childhood, and I knew in my gut we’d only scratched the surface.

I stared at her beautiful face as she stood, and swallowed the question hammering against my lips.

What are you hiding, Corinne?