On Thursday morning, Brody awoke to the same empty feeling he’d taken to bed with him on Wednesday night. There had been hurt the first time Lila left Happy, but this time it went beyond simple pain and he had no idea how to make it go away. He put a pot of coffee on, made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich, and carried it with him to the corral where Sundance was penned up.
He sat down on the other side of the fence and ate two bites of the sandwich before he tossed it to the side for the ants or the squirrels. Whichever got there first was welcome to it.
“I’m back, old friend,” he told the bull.
Sundance made his way over to the fence and tried to poke his head through the railings.
“Grass ain’t a bit greener on this side,” Brody said. “She’s gone and I don’t know what to do or say to make her come home for good. I feel like half my heart is gone. Hell no! That’s not right. She took the whole thing with her when she left. I hate good-byes, too, but if she’d have talked to me, we might have avoided ever havin’ another one. Movers could have taken care of her stuff and she had a job at the café.”
The big Angus bull hung his head over the top rail.
“Nothing we can do now. I sent a text an hour ago and she hasn’t responded yet. What if she doesn’t? What if she gets down there and Clancy convinces her to stay? I don’t know why I’m talkin’ to you. You don’t have any answers and every time you get a chance, you break out of the corral and get into trouble.”
Brody chuckled. “I guess that’s why—we’re a lot alike. We don’t like being penned up and we know what we like. Well, thanks for the visit. I don’t know what I’m going to do, but I’m not going to figure it out here.”
He started back to the house and checked his phone but there were no messages or missed calls. He didn’t want to talk to Jace or Kasey, so he detoured and walked over to Henry’s old barn. He heard Blake Shelton’s voice singing from his first album before he even peeked inside the door to see Paul loading feed.
“Hey.” Paul waved and reached inside the truck to turn down the music.
“I like it loud but Gracie won’t let me play it like that when she’s in the truck.” He grinned. “I heard Lila left last night without tellin’ nobody, not even you. Thought maybe Henry might reappear.”
“Why would you think that?” Brody asked.
“Just a feelin’ I had. I know that they left and then he disappeared but since it all happened in a few weeks, I’ve wondered if they were connected in some way. Guess I was wrong. There ain’t no one at the house. I go through and check it every month or so just to be sure there ain’t been no vandalism.”
Brody grabbed a pair of gloves from a hook beside the door and hoisted a bag of feed onto his shoulders. “I’ll help you get this unloaded since I’m here.”
“How’re you takin’ it?” Paul asked. “Looked like y’all was gettin’ pretty serious.”
“I wish she would’ve stayed.”
“Maybe the stars wasn’t lined up right,” Paul said.
They finished loading the feed and Paul removed a glove and stuck out his hand. “Thanks for the help and remember that old thing they say about lettin’ something you love go.”
“If it comes back, then it’s real. If it don’t, it wasn’t?” Brody asked.
“Something like that. I remember once when Kasey and Adam were havin’ a big fight. Can’t remember what it was about but Gracie told him to love her enough that she’d come back. What’d y’all fight about?”
“We didn’t. She hates good-byes,” Brody said.
“I can sure relate to that. Telling Adam good-bye every time he left made me come out here to this barn and cry like a baby. Mamas are pretty smart when it comes to things like this. Speaking of, you talked to yours?”
Brody shook his head slowly. “Oh, no!”
“You might be surprised how smart she is about these things, son. Thanks again for the help. There’s that white cat again. I sure wish someone would take her home with them. She’s a sweet-natured old gal but Gracie ain’t one much for cats. You think about talkin’ to Valerie or Hope.” Paul got into the vehicle and drove away.
Brody worked his phone from his hip pocket and had his finger ready to call his mother but he couldn’t. He jogged back to the ranch, got into his truck and drove over to her place. He knocked on the back door and then pushed on inside.
Valerie was braising a roast and scarcely even glanced his way. “Good mornin’, son. Coffee is in the pot. What brings you out this early?”
“Lila’s gone.”
“I heard.” Valerie finished the job and slid the roast into the oven. “The only thing that surprises me is that you’re here talking to me about it.”
He removed the phone from his pocket and found the song that had come to his mind when Paul made that comment about mamas. “I want you to listen to this and then we’ll talk.” He laid it on the countertop and turned up the volume.
“So Much Like My Dad” started playing and tears ran down his unshaven cheeks. George Strait sang the words better than he could express them. His mother had always said that he was just like Mitch Dawson. By the time the song was nearing the finish, Valerie was wiping both her tears and Brody’s away with a dish towel.
“Like it says, if I’m like Dad, then there must’ve been times when you wanted to get in the car and leave this place too. So please, Mama, she’s gone and I need to know what it was that Dad said to make you stay, because I don’t think I can live without her,” Brody said.
Valerie poured two cups of coffee and set them on the table. “It’s normal for people in a relationship to have arguments and times of doubt, son, but I don’t know that I can help you.”
Brody had a hard time swallowing all his tough pride around the lump in his throat. “How did he do it, Mama? I know it’s personal, but I need to know if I’m so much like him.”
Valerie motioned for him to sit down at the table. “He said the three magic words. I love you. That’s what always made me stay with him. Have you told her that?”
“Not seriously,” he said.
“As much as I’ve fought you being with her, I’m going to give you a piece of advice. You’re both adults and if you love her, then go to Florida and tell her so. Not here in Happy where you’re both still battling against being those two kids that you used to be, but in a different place where you’re adults. Jace and Kasey can hold down the ranch for a few days.”
He shook his head. “I can’t go anywhere right now. The middle of summer is our busiest time for repairing fences, plowing and planting for winter pasture, and…well, you know, Mama. You’ve been runnin’ this ranch for years, so I don’t have to tell you how hard it would be to leave for several days right now.”
“Do you love her or the ranch more? Or is this a pride thing?”
“Granny Hope expects me to be responsible when it comes to the ranch.” He raked his fingers through his hair.
“You didn’t answer me,” Valerie said.
“I love her more than anything, but it might be a pride thing,” he admitted.
“Pride is a dangerous thing, son,” Valerie told him. “It can ruin a relationship.”
“Will she be welcomed into the family?” Brody asked.
“If she loves you as much as you do her. God, Brody, I can’t stand to see you like this. I had no idea that you loved her this deeply,” Valerie answered.
“Thank you, Mama.” Brody hugged his mother.
The answer was simple. He just had to get to her to deliver it.
Soft, drizzling rain had darkened the Florida skies when Lila pulled into her parking space in front of her apartment. She was close enough to the beach that she could hear the faint sounds of the waves as they splashed against the shore. Leaning on the truck’s back fender, she inhaled the salty air and felt the warm rain on her face. She’d miss evenings like this, but it was time to move on.
With a sigh, she opened the passenger door and removed the cat carrier. “Welcome to your two-day home,” she said. “It’s not as big as the Happy apartment, but it’s a heck of a lot more room than you had in the truck. Give me time to get your litter pan out and I’ll open the chute.”
The word chute reminded her of Brody and the way that her heart stopped when he was thrown off that bull. Her mind circled around from that night to when they’d skinny-dipped in the cold water and how he’d looked wearing nothing but a smile in the moonlight. She sighed as she went back to the truck and unloaded kitten supplies. Then she carried them to the kitchen and showed them their food. Neither of them showed as much interest in that as much as snooping around in the new surroundings.
“Make yourselves at home.” She yawned.
She sat down on the sofa and called Brody before she passed out from exhaustion.
“I’ve been waiting all day to hear your voice. Texts just aren’t the same,” he said.
“Me too. I’m already homesick,” she admitted.
“You said home,” he whispered.
“Happy has always been the home base, Brody. That doesn’t mean…” She yawned again.
“I think it does, Lila, but I’m not going to argue. You sound tired, darlin’. Are you in your apartment?”
“Yes, I am. The cats are set free and happy and I’m going to take a shower and sleep a little bit before I start packing,” she said.
“And tomorrow?”
“I got a call from the school in Conway. I’ve got an interview, so I’ll head in that direction. I’m exhausted. I wish you were here.”
“So do I, darlin’. You go on and get some rest,” he said.
“I miss you so much.”
“Me too, Lila.”
She took time to send her mother and Molly a text and then she turned off her phone and fell on the bed without even taking off her clothes. She was asleep when her head hit the pillow and it was full dark that evening when she awoke. A black ball of fur rested in the crook of her neck and a white one was sitting beside her shoulder, staring at her.
“I’m awake and I still miss him so much that my heart hurts,” she whispered.
Cora meowed loudly, waking Duke, who instantly started to purr. Her stomach growled, reminding her that it had been hours since she’d eaten anything but junk food. She was so hungry, she could almost taste the fish from Margaritaville. She hopped out of bed and headed straight for the bathroom.
Letting the warm water beat down on her back and shoulders for several minutes, she didn’t fight the memories of the past month but let them play through her mind on a continuous loop several times before she got out of the shower and wrapped a towel around her body. She dried her hair and dressed in a sundress, applied a little makeup, and kissed both cats on the heads before she left.
With her motorcycle still strapped down on the back of her truck, she drove to one of her favorite places for good local fish. As usual, Margaritaville was noisy and pretty well packed when she arrived. But luck was with her because they had a table in the back corner. A young couple with glimmering gold wedding bands sat to her left. They could have been Brody and Lila in another lifetime. The waiter seated a small couple with a toddler in a high chair not far away. Then an old couple, gray haired and still holding hands as he helped her down the three or four steps into the dining room, was seated at a table for two right ahead of her.
Happy-ever-after was lived out in stages right before her eyes. She wanted that shiny gold wedding ring. She wanted that little blue-eyed daughter in a high chair. And she wanted Brody to hold her hand to steady her as she walked down the steps into a restaurant when they were old and gray.
She studied the menu so that the three couples wouldn’t catch her staring at them. A motion in her peripheral vision caught her attention and before she could escape, she saw Belinda drag Clancy by the hand over to her table.
“Clancy told me you’re leaving us. I was hoping to see you before you checked out at the school.” Belinda stooped to hug her.
The last thing Lila wanted was to share her table but Belinda hesitated so long that it became awkward. “This is a table for four. Y’all can join me if you want.”
“That would be wonderful,” Belinda said. “So I hear you might be going to Little Rock.”
“Conway, actually. It’s about an hour from Little Rock. We’ll see if they like me and if I like them.”
Belinda sat down, crossed one long leg over the other, and then tucked her chin-length red hair behind her ears. “I can’t imagine living anywhere but right here. And they have tornadoes in Arkansas.”
“Florida has hurricanes,” Lila said.
She should have at least a little streak of jealousy, right? But it wasn’t there—not even a smidgen. If anything, she felt sorry for Belinda for getting tangled up with a narcissistic, egotistical fool like Clancy.
“But”—Belinda smiled—“they don’t have a Margaritaville.”
“A sacrifice I’ll have to make for their fine Southern cookin’ restaurants,” Lila said.
“What can I get you?” the waiter appeared at her elbow.
“I’m having whatever the fish of the day is and a bottle of Jäger,” she said.
“I want a bowl of gumbo and a glass of white wine,” Belinda said.
“And I’ll have the eight-ounce sirloin, baked potato, and salad with house dressing and bring a bottle of red to the table,” Clancy said.
“One ticket or separate?”
“Separate,” Lila said quickly.
“Separate for all of us,” Belinda said.
Lila was suddenly intrigued.
“Okay, then, I’ll have that right out,” the waiter said.
“I’ll have to eat and run,” Lila said. “I’ve got packing to do tonight if I’m going to get my room cleaned out and keys turned in tomorrow.”
“We’ll miss you,” Belinda said.
“We can keep in touch,” Lila said. “So how did the summer job go at the T-shirt shack?”
“Great. If I could make a living working there, I’d stop teaching in a minute.” She and Clancy exchanged a look and then she sighed. “But minimum wage doesn’t pay the bills and…” She let the sentence drop.
“And she’s too smart to live that kind of lifestyle,” Clancy finished for her. The tilt of his chin said that he was talking to Lila as much or more than Belinda.
“So you think that only stupid people can be sales clerks or waitresses,” Lila pushed the issue. “You wouldn’t want to introduce Belinda as, ‘Please meet my girlfriend who works at the T-shirt shop on the strip,’ would you?”
“No, I wouldn’t or take home a waitress to introduce to my parents either,” he said curtly.
Belinda turned to face Clancy. “That’s crazy. It’s all good work whether it’s teaching kids or making the tourists happy.”
“Society makes the rules. I just do my best to live by them.” He laid a hand across the back of her chair.
“Oh, well, it’s not important,” Belinda said. “We are who we are and I’m a teacher. Now, Lila, tell me how did the waitress business in Texas work out?”
The waiter brought a glass of white wine, a beer, and an empty glass with a full bottle of red and set it on the table. He poured the wine and said, “Food should be ready in only a few minutes.”
“Thank you,” Clancy said. “Now, you were going to tell us about the waitress work, Lila? Still chasing after that redneck cowboy? You’re so unsuited to a man like that.”
She took a sip of the beer and turned to Belinda. “Being a waitress was amazing. I made a little more than my usual teacher paycheck, actually. And of course, we get all the good town gossip.” Her smile faded as she addressed Clancy. “And the cowboy isn’t a bit of your business.”
Belinda sipped her wine. “Oh, really!”
“Had some good tippers and then some who only came in for a glass of sweet tea but I loved visiting with all of them,” Lila said.
Belinda giggled. “I really will miss you. Anytime you want to come back to Florida you can stay with me.”
“Thank you.” Lila was glad that she’d gotten cornered by Belinda. In Florida she wasn’t the wild child; she was a full-fledged bona fide grown-up. Neither of her personalities liked Clancy and that was a good thing to have settled. It wasn’t just because she was living a different life in Texas that he’d gotten on her last nerve. He could do it in any state and with either of her twin personalities.
In Happy, she could be that wild child with Brody and still hang on to the grown-up woman. Like Kasey had said that day in the café, she could have both. But the only place she really wanted both was in the panhandle of Texas—that’s where both pieces of her heart fit together.
She ate faster than usual and was able to pay her bill and get out of the restaurant in thirty-six minutes. Belinda expressed regret that neither she nor Clancy would be at the school the next day when she checked out but they had plans to visit her parents in Pensacola. Lila faked disappointment and smiled all the way to her truck.
“Here kitty, kitty,” she called out at the door of her apartment. Duke and Cora came running from the bathroom and stopped at her feet as if asking if she’d remembered to bring them something.
“I didn’t forget. I’ve got two pretty nice-sized bites of good grilled fish.”
Duke growled and slapped a paw down on his bite, practically inhaled it, and then headed across the kitchen floor to help Cora with hers. She sniffed it daintily, walked around it, slapped it a couple of times to see if it would wiggle, and then pranced off, tail held high. Duke grabbed it in his teeth and tossed it into the air like a dead mouse, caught it on the fly, and ate it quickly.
Lila plopped down on the sofa and picked up a notepad from beside the house phone. Call the cable company, the phone company, and the Internet service provider first thing the next morning. Call the Sugar Sands and make a reservation for the next night because her lease actually ran out at midnight on June 30. Her cell phone rang and, hoping it was Brody, she quickly fished it out of her purse and answered without checking the ID.
“I’m awake and ready to talk,” she said.
“This is Valerie Dawson and I’m ready to talk too.”
The phone fell from Lila’s hand and she had to scramble to grab it before it hit the ground. “Is Brody all right?” she whispered.
“Fine when I talked to him earlier today,” Valerie said. “I’m butting in where I probably shouldn’t but he’s my son. You’ll understand someday when you have kids.”
Lila gulped a couple of times. “Okay, then what do you want to talk about?”
“I’m not sure where to begin or even what to say. I got the number from Kasey and…,” she stammered.
Lila was sure that she was about to hear that she should stay out of Happy, leave Brody alone, he would get over his pain, yada, yada, yada. Lila shut her eyes and got ready for the tirade.
“I’ve judged you and that was wrong,” Valerie said.
Lila’s eyes snapped open. She was awake and this was not a dream. “Why are you telling me this?”
“My mother-in-law never did think I was good enough for Mitch. Right until her dying day, she awoke every morning and hoped he would divorce me.”
Lila chuckled. “Surely not.”
“Oh, yeah, she did,” Valerie laughed with her. “I swore I’d never make my sons choose between his family and the woman they loved, but I did…and I apologize.”
Lila’s eyes shot toward the window. It didn’t look like the end of the world but surely the apocalypse was on the way if she’d heard Valerie right. “Apology accepted. Why are you telling me this now?”
“Before, you two were so different and so young. Now I see things differently.” There was a long whoosh of air on the other end as Valerie sighed. “I want to tell you that I won’t be my mother-in-law. I don’t know you very well but I’d like to remedy that if you’ll come back to Happy for the rest of the summer. I won’t stand in the way of whatever relationship you and Brody decide to have.”
“Thank you,” Lila said. “But I’ve got an interview in Conway, Arkansas, in a couple of days for a teaching job there. I’ll have to find an apartment and get moved in before I can make a trip back to Happy.”
“Could we talk again sometime?” Valerie asked.
“Yes, ma’am, that would be great,” Lila said, still wondering if she’d awake tomorrow and figure out that this had been some kind of wild dream.
“Okay, then, good night. And before I hang up, Kasey said that she’d love to hear from you, so when you have time would you please give her a call?”
“I sure will,” Lila said. “Good night to you too.”
She hit the END button, tossed the phone on the pillow beside her, and rolled her eyes toward the ceiling.
Cora climbed the arm of the sofa like it was a tree and perched there. Lila stroked her pretty white fur and said, “Well, now, that should do it for this day. I’ve dealt with Clancy and Valerie in the same evening. Don’t you think that should get me a gold crown even if it’s only a plastic one?”
Cora purred an answer and the phone rang a second time. Lila checked it that time.
“Hello, Brody,” she said.
“Hi, darlin’,” he drawled.
His deep voice sent sweet shivers down her back.
“Gettin’ packed and ready to roll out of Florida?”
“Slept all day and am just now getting started, but I made a list. I’m going to turn in my key tomorrow by quittin’ time at the complex office and check into a little place called the Sugar Sands on the beach for one night, then head out on Saturday morning.”
“Sounds like you got things under control, then,” he said. “I thought after twenty-four hours that the missin’ you might get better. It hasn’t but at least this time I can call and hear your voice.”
“I’m not so sure anything is under control. But I do have a couple of stories to tell you.” She went on to tell him about seeing Clancy and knowing that she’d made the right decision six months ago to break it off with him and then about the phone call with his mother.
“Nanny didn’t like Mama. We all knew it and it made for tense times when we all went over to their house. I’m glad that Mama is coming around,” he said. “I was just listening to Vince Gill sing ‘Never Knew Lonely’ over and over again. I can so relate to the words of the chorus that say that lonely can tear you in two. I feel like half of me is missing,” he said.
“Me too.” The lyrics of the song, especially that part about not being able to make up for the times when she was gone, played through her head.
He cleared his throat and she swallowed hard. “I’ll try to get things taken care of in Arkansas if I get the job and come back to Happy in a couple of weeks.”
“I’m not sure I can survive for two whole weeks,” he whispered.
“Well, then, I guess maybe you’ll just have to fly into Little Rock if you get to feelin’ weak.” She fought back new tears. Lord, she hadn’t cried so often in more than a decade. “I’ll gladly drive to the airport and get you.”
“Don’t invite me if you don’t mean it,” he said.
“You’re welcome anytime,” she said. “How about next weekend?”
“How about this one?”
“Don’t tease me, Brody,” she laughed.