Trench

 

     By the time my head hit the pillow again I was too restless to fall asleep. Clutch and I spent the hour after Flex left discussing whether we thought Flex was telling the truth. Did Tori have files? If so, what could they be?

     Tori laid next to me curled delicately around one of the larger pillows, her chest rising and falling in slow rhythm with her sleep. I was still plagued by everything she shared with me about Aaron and angrier than I’d been in years. No man should place his hands on a woman for any other reason than to reciprocate pleasure. Never pain.

     Memories of Pops and the way he dealt with women came to mind. He was a ruthless son-of-a-bitch when the situation called for it, but he had a soft spot for the ladies, in no way the typical man-whore that so many of the brothers were and under no circumstances abusive. He loved my mother, Sasha, to a fucking fault. If not for my father’s position and protection, Sasha would have been exiled from the club years before her death.

     I was forced to watch my mother slowly destroy his spirit, spending most of her days and nights inebriated and numb from drugs and alcohol. She was never coherent for more than a couple hours at a time and while my father stood by her through the worst, he didn’t entrust her with my care. That responsibility landed on his shoulders and was shared voluntarily by the other brothers and their old ladies. Pops defended her actions to the club and took more than his fair share of the blame for her rapid decline.

     Four years after I was patched in, my tolerance was slipping. Her behavior was a distraction the club didn’t need. I caught Pops alone in his office late one afternoon. It was a rarity to find his door open, but the question had been digging a hole in my head. I couldn’t ignore the problem anymore and I wanted to know there was a plan to deal with Sasha. A trip to rehab, detox, anything to make her get clean. She hadn’t been a real mother since the day she took her first hit and Sasha wasn’t one to ease into anything. Marijuana was too tame for her, or at least that’s what I told myself when I was angry. She was more interested in heroine and meth. The needle quickly replaced me and Pops as number one. The amount of time she could last from one fix to the next was became increasingly shorter over the years and the results of her oncoming withdrawals were both ugly and embarrassing. Her habit had taken on a life of its own and when the daily costs ran as high as she did, Sasha found new pay dirt.

     Offering services to the brothers in the club in exchange for money to buy more dope was the final straw for me. None of the men took her up on her offer. Pops would have killed every one of them who had, but it was the pity in their eyes whenever either one of us walked into the room where she was passed out that I could no longer ignore. Her constant verbal abuse when she sucked at an empty bottle of Jack like it would regenerate the liquid poison if she tipped it back far enough, the unkempt way she dressed and the endless track marks painted all over her body that she left visible were silent screams for help, but harmful only to herself. I had long since forgotten what she looked like before and hateful words barely registered to me.

     Approaching my best friend, Clutch, for a paid fuck was the stunt that left me teetering on the brink of insanity and Pops was going to hear me out. I walked in and took the seat in front of his desk, waiting for him to acknowledge me first. There was a time when I wouldn’t have been allowed in his office, but that time had passed. I was no longer his young, innocent son. I was a fully-patched member of Pandemonium.

     He chuffed in amusement. “Out with it, son.” Pops leaned back in his worn-out office chair and laced his fingers behind his head.

     “What are we doing about Sasha? She’s out of hand, Pops.”

     “We aren’t doing anything about your mother. She’s my responsibility, not yours and not the clubs’.”

     “Did you know she propositioned Clutch today? For a fucking fix. Doesn’t that bother you?” I slammed my fist against the arm of my own chair, suddenly pissed that he was taking her actions so lightly.

     My father fixed me with steel grey eyes and repositioned himself so that his forearms rested heavily against the glossy mahogany desk top.

     “Listen carefully son, cause I’m only going to tell you once. And understand that the only reason you’re getting away with this line of questioning is because she’s your mother and I know you’re pissed off. At me, for not handling the situation the way you want. At her, for choosing that shit over you. But, that woman you hate so much is still my wife. Before the drugs stole her mind from me, Sasha was my best friend. She stood by me when I took this seat, when our operation here was making next to nothing and brothers were shadier than that hundred-year-old oak tree you played under as a child. She earned my trust in ways you’ll never know. It’s my fault her nightmares became too much to handle. She self-medicated because I didn’t pay close enough attention to her silent cry for help. That’s on me. That will always be on me. You feel me, son?”

     “Yeah, Pops. I feel you.” I sighed in frustration, but his word was law and I knew from the square set of his shoulders that my opinion was like an asshole. Everyone had one, but he didn’t ask to hear or see either.

     “No, I don’t think you do. But one day, you will. You’ll know just how close to the edge you’re willing to go when you find her.” I snorted and gave him a half-grin. He knew I wasn’t the type to settle down and I was way too young to be worried about giving up my freedom. “Let me ask you something, Trench. Does that cut mean something to you?” He pointed towards the black leather on my chest. It was still new enough that it had shine.

     “What the hell? You know it does, Pops.”

     “Would you die for that cut, for your brothers in this club?”

     “Fuck, Pops. Are you shitting me right now? I swore an oath. You and these men are my family. You know I would.”

     Pops held up his left hand, the dry skin cracking in sections across his knuckles from the years of work he put in at the garage, and pointed to the simple, albeit dull from years of wear, gold band on his ring finger.

     “This is no different, boy. I swore an oath to your mother once too. For better or worse, and I’d be a damn hypocrite if I asked you all to do the same for this club if I can’t even keep my promise to her.”

     The memory skipped out like a scratched record as I felt the blanket shift beneath me and looked over to find Tori’s sleepy green eyes watching me.

     “Trouble sleeping?” Even her sleep raspy voice was sexy as hell. I nodded and smiled in answer. “You know, they say when you can’t sleep it’s because you’re wandering around in someone else’s dreams.”

     “Is that so?” I turned my body slightly to brush a couple errant strands of hair from her face. She had a natural curl around her eyes from leaving it damp earlier and I toyed with the ringlets while I studied her beautiful face. “You telling me I was running through that pretty mind of yours this morning?”

     Her cheeks pinkened and I had to suppress my grin. It seemed Tori was headstrong when confronted with a challenge, but when I flirted with her, she wasn’t sure how to react. It was foreign to her. The beast inside me roared to life, seeing the physical effect I had on her like an on switch. I relished in knowing she was not immune to my advances.

     “Um, no. I mean, maybe.” Flustered Tori was even more beautiful than pissed-off Tori. The rosy undertones that accompanied the rush of heat in her embarrassment. She turned on her side and propped herself up on her elbow. “Penny for your thoughts?”

     “I was just thinking of my Pops.” I answered truthfully.

     “Is he still around?”

     “No, babe. He died four years ago.”

     “Oh, I’m sorry to hear that.” I believed she was. She knew the pain of losing a parent. “Were the two of you close?”

     “You could say that. As close as two stubborn men could be in this world.”

     We sat in comfortable silence for a few minutes, neither of us saying anything. Tori had been so open and honest with me earlier that I felt a tinge of guilt for not telling her the truth about Duke. Instead, I shared another story.

     “Clutch and I completed our first run for the club about ten years ago. The first time as prospects we were trusted to do it alone. Pandemonium by-laws said we couldn’t get our full three-piece patch until we turned eighteen, but I was itching for any chance to prove myself to Pops and the rest of the club. I wasn’t just another prospect. I was the President’s son, which meant it was going to be harder to prove to the brothers that I was anything more than Pops’ groomed shadow.” I started my story and Tori rolled on her back once more, relaxing against the pillow as she listened.

     “I was sixteen years old, my old man’s Harley underneath me on the highway. I thought I was invincible.” I chuckled when I thought back to how naïve I was then. “Clutch and I were fucking beat from the run. The only thing keeping us awake was adrenaline and two cups of coffee at the last stop. We knew we were close to home when Sadie’s Diner came into view. I think you know the place.” I inclined my head slightly and winked at her. “It was almost a tradition to stop in whenever the club finished a run. The menu was even shorter then, if you can believe that.” I snorted, recalling the choices. Burgers, hot dogs and fries.

     “We pulled up and Clutch was like a damn kid on Christmas morning, bouncing all over the fucking place as soon as his boots hit the gravel. All we had done was carry a few chopped parts across the state line for Pops. I still say the parts were clean, something one of the older brothers didn’t have any more need for in the garage. Pops was too careful to chance a trial run on two teenage prospects carrying illegal goods.”

     “We didn’t care either way. Clutch and I were just determined to earn our three-piece rocker. Prospects get the shittiest jobs around the club, and they take hell from the full-patched members for months, but we were two of the happiest young fuckers Pandemonium had ever seen. All because of that leather cut. It meant something to us, still does.”

     Tori’s head rolled toward me and when she smiled I felt her warmth everywhere. She was like the sun and I was a fucking cloud that would diminish her light. I was a selfish bastard. I wanted my own pocketful of sunshine. Even if it was for a fleeting moment. Even if I knew I’d probably destroy her for other men when we split ways. I still wanted my time in her sun. I’d worry about how long it would last later. For now, I was content to keep talking. 

     “Locals shrank away from us, tourists averted their eyes, and women were drawn to us. It seems juvenile to want those things, but I did. Sadie had just taken our orders when their bikes rolled up. Fucking Disciples. They weren’t supposed to ride through Sparrow Creek. The diner was just outside city limits, but it had been considered Pandemonium territory for years. They were looking for a fight the minute they saw our bikes out front. Four to two were perfect odds for those cowards. Clutch and I knew things were about to get ugly, but there was no way in hell we were going to leave Sadie or her staff alone with those nasty bastards.”

     “Wait, you’ve known Sadie since you were a teenager?” Tori propped up on her elbows and looked to me for an answer.

     “Yeah. Does that surprise you?” I chuckled, taking in her confused expression, but then she started laughing and I was the one left confused. “What’s so funny?”

     “Are you aware that Sadie has a bit of a crush on you?”

     My nose wrinkled in disgust, drawing more laughter from Tori. Sadie was old enough to be my grandmother.

     “Don’t worry. I think she has a thing for all of you. Something about eye-candy and wanting to be the honey to your biscuit.”

     A shudder ran through me.

     “That’s an image I’ll never get rid of, thanks to you. And now, we have to find another place to stop after runs.” I winked. “The boys won’t be happy. They aren’t good with change. You thought they were giving you the evil eye before. Wait until I tell them it’s all your fault.”

 

     Tori’s eyes widened, but this time they sparkled with amusement, not fear.

     “I think it’s best if I finish my story before we break the bad news to the guys.”

     “Good idea.” She smiled and fell back against the pillow again.   

     “The Disciples took one look at us and smiled. We were unarmed and outmanned. Minors crossing state lines on loud as fuck motorcycles drew enough attention from law enforcement without the guns, so Pops didn’t let us carry them.”

     “I had my eyes on the first man. If anything was going down I thought he would have been the one giving the signal, but I missed the other two disappearing into the kitchen. Clutch didn’t, but we weren’t fast enough to stop them from damaging shit in the back. I still remember Sadie yelling over the sounds of glass breaking and grunts from the staff in the back. Clutch and I were barely on our feet before the first asshole threw a punch into my lip.”

     I rubbed at my jaw absentmindedly, remembering the night like it was yesterday. That man would never know it, but he was a turning point. He was the reason I started training hard. I was determined to never let another man get the best of me again.

     “I might be able to take a hit now, but at sixteen that shit hurt like hell. He was a big man and he knew how to put that weight to good use.”

     “What about Clutch? Was he hurt badly too?” Tori asked.

     “Clutch has always been impulsive. Act first, think later. That dumbass sprang over the table and ran full speed into the kitchen…alone. Adrenaline kicked in, sweetheart. I stopped thinking too and took my first swing at a Disciple that night.”

     “Not going to lie. We got our asses handed to us. It was over in a matter of minutes and the bastards took off while we licked our wounds. Clutch and I limped to our bikes with swollen faces, a couple fractured ribs and two big-ass bruised egos. There was no way we were riding twenty miles in that condition so I made the one call I dreaded.”

     “Pops answered on the second ring. He broke speed records getting to us, I think.”

     “Who is Pops? Is that another road name?”

     My eyes found hers for a moment before studying a hole in the wall across the room.

     “Something like that. He was the President of Pandemonium before me. He was a father figure to most of the guys, so the name just stuck.” My hand reached over to touch Tori’s hair as it lay across the pillow in golden strands. Was it possible to touch the sun and not burn? She sighed from the simple gesture and closed her eyes as I toyed with the soft ringlets near her face. They probably smelled like me now. Before, I remembered the coconut fragrance, but since she’d used my shower and my shampoo, it would be like I’d marked her in a small way. The thought made me crave a taste of her skin. When she opened her eyes again and searched mine, I wanted to claim her mouth with my lips.

     “That was it? What happened after Pops arrived?”    

     “He took one look at us before making the call. We never saw those Disciple bastards again. I imagine they found homes six-feet deep that night, but the fucker that hit me was right about one thing. He’d said, ‘the tides are changing.’ Clutch and I got patched the next day, bruised and broken as we were. Pops and the club VP, Branson said we had proved our loyalty by taking that ass-whooping to help Sadie and honor the Pandemonium name.”

     It was quiet for another few seconds while Tori considered my story and when her small voice broke the silence I released a breath I didn’t realize I’d been holding. I wanted her to know me, but why?

     “Can I ask you a question, Trench?” Tori sat up, pulled her knees to her chest, and rested her chin on her knees as she picked at a small string on the bedspread. The blanket slipped away slowly and I saw the expanse of her bare legs. Damn. Did she realize how beautiful she was?

     “Go ahead.” I swallowed hard against the building tension between us.

     “What happened to your father?”

     I tensed. It was a fair question given what she’d told me about her own mother, but I wasn’t ready to discuss that today. Maybe not ever.

     “Sorry, babe. I think show and tell is over for today.” I shook my head, but reached over and squeezed her knee to try and soften the blow that I had no plans of sharing that story with her.

     “Okay, I get it. How about something simpler then. What was his name?”

     I smiled and gave her an answer she had been searching for. “Johnathan “Duke” Hadden.”