Chapter NINETEEN
“Where the hell did you run off to so early?”
Kelli’s appearance on our sofa scares the shit out of me.
“Why aren’t you at work?” I ask as I drop my phone and keys on the table by the door.
She rises from the couch still in her pajamas. She still has on yesterday’s makeup, and the mascara is smudged around her eyes making her look like a sad clown. “I have the day off. Why are you dressed like you have the day off, too?”
I unzip my sweatshirt and throw it over the couch. “I went for a bike ride.” When I’m in the kitchen, I open the refrigerator door and add, “with Jax.”
“The plan is in motion.”
Taking a bottle of water out, I twist the lid and take a sip. “What plan?”
“The payback plan.”
I close the fridge and shake my head. “There is no revenge plot.”
Her mouth cringes in disgust. “For ten years you’ve complained how that man has ruined your life, and now he’s back for, what, three days—”
“Six,” I correct.
“Six!” She takes ten marching steps toward me and stops a foot away from my face. “He’s been here for six days, and you haven’t utterly destroyed him?”
“Well, I tried at first, but things changed.”
She points an accusing finger at my nose. “He’s manipulating you.” Her jaw is clenched as she shakes her head in disgust. “You let him get into your heart again. Don’t fall for it.”
I move her finger away from her face. “Why are you so hell bent on me hurting Jax?”
“You owe this to every girl who has ever been damaged. Men,” she crosses her arms in front of her chest, holding herself in, “are all the same. They use women and then just cast them aside. Someone needs to teach them a lesson.”
There’s something in the way she clutches the fabric of her t-shirt and bites the inside of her lip that seems oddly familiar. For years I’ve been so focused on myself, on my own pain, that I never really looked at Kelli. At this beautiful girl with a vibrant personality who gives herself so freely to pretty much anyone who pays her attention. She’s always been so in-tune with what I was feeling, I never realized that she, too, was fighting her own demons.
“Who hurt you?” My voice is soft, but from the way her dark eyes shoot up toward mine, you’d think I screamed at her.
“What girl hasn’t been hurt by a guy?”
“Many,” I answer. Just from talking with Lani about her love for life and boys, I know she’s never in her life been traumatized by a man. Or my mom. She is the most accepting person in the world, and that comes from her love of my dad. Hell, I can probably think of ten more if I went through the strong women who have come into my life. And even if they were hurt, they didn’t let it eat at them all these years.
Auli’i’s words about forgiveness echo in my ear. When you forgive others, you forgive yourself.
“Kelli, we can’t go on like this. Everything happens in our minds. We get stuck in this vicious loop of hate that we can’t move past, but we’re responsible for how we feel. We’re responsible for how we let the world affect us. If we let the bad overcome our souls, then we’ll never be truly good.”
Her eyes are glazed over. There’s disobedience in her stance. She’s not truly ready for forgiveness.
“Roland fired me,” she lets go of her arms and holds them out. “Happy? You told me not to sleep with people I work with, and you were right. He said I was a whore and couldn’t let someone of my caliber work at his hotel.”
I step forward and try to hug her, but she pulls away.
“Why can men sleep around but when women do they’re trash?” she asks, but I honestly don’t know the answer. “It happened to me before. Right before you moved to Connecticut. I was the school piranha. Sleep with one jock your freshman year, and you’re labeled loose and ready by the entire school.”
My shoulders fall. “I didn’t know that. Well, I did, but I thought that was the reputation you wanted, not what was given. We’re not the labels other give to us.”
She wipes a tear that has fallen from her eye. Despite the emotion, she holds her head high. “I know that. That’s why I’m the warrior. I do what I want with who I want. Who cares what they think?”
By her performed defiance, it’s obvious to see she cares what others think—a lot.
“You’re more than what some loser called you in high school. You’re the best friend I’ve ever had. If it wasn’t for you, I don’t know how I would have survived those years after Jax.”
“That’s why I don’t understand how you could be hanging out with him the way you are.”
I take a deep breath and walk toward her again. This time, she lets me put my hand on her arm. “I know you don’t understand, but I need you to be on my side on this one. I’m trying to heal. This is a good thing. I promise you.”
She wipes her cheeks again and gives her shoulders a shake. “Gah, whatever. Fine, come here.” She motions her hands for me to give her a hug. “This all so melodramatic.”
I practically jump into her embrace. We’re doing a dance-like hug then she pulls away and says, “What the hell am I going to do now? I need to start looking for a new job.”
A wild thought pops into my head. “Actually. I have a crazy job for you. It’s a private appointment, and you have to let me pay you.”
She shifts on her hip. “How crazy?”
I walk to the door and grab my keys. “Get your shoes. We’re going shopping.”
…
“You’re blonde!”
“Surprise,” I hold up my hands toward Eric as I take my seat at the Birds of Paradise restaurant.
Kelli spent the entire day stripping and coloring my hair. Somewhere around the time my head was a faint color of orange, I panicked, but she assured me it would look stunning when she was through.
She wasn’t lying. All that training at Manhattan salons paid off—my best friend is one hell of a hair stylist.
“At first I was trying to figure out why this strange woman was walking up to the table and then I realized it was you.” He reaches for his napkin and puts it on his lap. “Now you can answer the age-old question. Do blondes have more fun?”
I shrug while placing my napkin on my lap.
Kal approaches the table and addresses us with the daily specials. He tallies off the market price of the oysters, the fish of the day, the soup du jour, and lists three entrees all while I stare at him, waiting to see if he notices me.
When he’s done, he takes out his ordering pad. With a wide smile, I stare at him and wait for him to notice—
“Oh snap. What did you do to your hair?” Kal’s brows are practically in his hairline with surprise.
I laugh at his response. “Kelli did it.”
Kal puts his fist up against his chin and takes a step back. “You look good—really good. It’s like you were meant to be melemele,” he says and then corrects himself when he sees my confused expression. “It means blonde.”
“Well, thank you,” I give a head bow. “Your compliment means a lot.”
It’s at this moment Kal notices the man sitting across the table from me, and I take the opportunity to introduce them.
“Kal, this is Eric Duvane. He’s staying in the Maui suite. Eric, this is my friend, Kal.”
Eric extends a hand to Kal who looks at it for too long before taking it.
“Another single guy staying in one of the presidential suites.” Kal beads his eyes toward Eric. “You don’t happen to also be an old friend of Trish’s?”
Eric shakes his hand and looks at me for clarification.
I wave him off. “Never mind that. Kal, I’ll have the cheeseburger with avocado and cheddar.”
Eric leans an elbow on the table. “You can order anything you want. Why don’t you have the tuna special? It sounded great.”
I close my menu and hand it to Kal. “Like I said, I’ll have the cheeseburger.”
Eric orders the halibut and a bottle of wine. Kale leaves to get our drinks.
Our table is near the back, overlooking the bay. It’s dark out so I can’t see the water or the surrounding mountains, but I can hear the waves moving steadily along the shore. A light, crashing sound of the surf and the faint smell of salt provides a reminder of its existence.
When I turn back toward the table, it’s to Eric’s keen attention. He’s wearing a navy-blue suit with an open collared white shirt. He looks handsome and with his dark skin and clear-blue eyes—he is every woman’s dream date.
I give a closed mouth smile. “You want to go over some ideas for your event?”
He jolts a little like he wasn’t expecting me to bring up what we came here for.
“I told my boss about your idea, and he loved it. We ran it through the Event Coordinator—don’t worry, I protected your name.” He gives a boy scouts sign of promise and adds, “and it’s a done deal.”
“That’s great. Let’s start brainstorming. Why did you choose Hawaii for this party?”
“Our artist, Noah Kanë, is from Kauai. We discovered him in a bar in the West Village. Is that where you lived in New York?”
“I was in Alphabet City. What was it about Noah that caught your attention?”
Eric shifts in his seat. “His sound. He has this earthy vibe, and he sings with so much heart, it can only come from where he was raised. Were you born and raised in New York?”
“Virginia.” I draw him back to our original conversation. “It’s a great idea bringing him back to where he’s from for his coming out party.”
“A compliment coming from a beautiful woman is more than a man could ask for.” He raises his glass in cheers.
I clink my water and gulp it down. The booth feels awfully narrow. I push on it a little.
Kal brings our dinner out rather quickly. He doesn’t even try to hide the stink-eye he gives Eric as he plops his plate down in front of him. With a tilted chin and the widening of my eyes, I tell him to cut it out.
When he’s gone, I play wit the napkin on my lap and then adjust my outfit, pulling the bottom hem down. It’s a checkered print, halter dress that falls mid-thigh.
“Do you two have a thing?” Eric asks.
I flinch my head back slightly. Eric’s eyes flicker toward the bar where Kal stares at us with Isaiah on the other side sharpening a knife.
I reach for my burger. “My friends need to stop being so concerned about who I spend my time with.”
“You’ve made quite the life here. Do you have plans to head back to New York?” Eric asks.
I cover my mouth to cover a ridiculously huge bite I just took of my burger. “Maybe. Maybe not,” I say as I swallow, my hand still covering my lips.
“There’s room at Black Dog Entertainment. We’re still a start-up, so as we expand we’ll need more people in reception, producers, songwriters, technicians.” He gives a self-deprecating smile. “Pretty much everything. You have my word, you will always have a job at Black Dog.”
“I’ll keep that in mind. You may want to take back the offer on song writer. My musical expertise is as good as my ability to surf. In other words—I’d fall flat.” I look out the window to the beach pathway that’s illuminated slightly leading tower the black abyss of night. “I don’t know what I’ll do next, but whatever I chose will be for the long haul. I’m ready to settle down. Work-wise, I mean.”
His hand runs up and down the side of his glass as he says, “That’s good to hear.”
“The event,” I say rather sporadically. “Your colleagues come in on Saturday. We’re all prepared for them.”
He leans his forearm onto the table and extends his other in my direction. “I changed my mind. I don’t want to talk business.”
I sit up and hit the back of the seat behind me. My hands drop my burger, and I wipe them on my napkin. “I’m sorry if I gave you the wrong impression, but I thought this was a business dinner.”
He must sense the unease in my stance. “What I mean is, this is a really rare occasion where I’m not chained to my desk or answering calls. Lord knows, tomorrow I’ll be scrambling to make sure I have everything ready for my boss’ arrival. I just want to kick back a little and enjoy a nice evening with a beautiful woman. Is that okay?”
My shoulders relax. I bow my head and place the back of palm on my forehead as I feign embarrassment. Way to go, Trish. Can you get more full of yourself?
When I lift my head, I reply, “Yes. That’s more than fine.”
He offers me his fish to try, but I decline. I don’t offer him any of my burger since I polish it off, down to the last sweet potato fry. We finish our meals with light conversation.
Kal drops the check on the table before Eric is even done.
“I think your friend wants us to leave,” Eric jokes.
I try to laugh but end up letting out a yawn. “That’s okay. I’ve been up since five this morning.”
There’s a gleam in his eyes. Then again, it could be the light sparkling off those blues. “Let’s get you to bed.”
We argue for a few minutes on who should pay. I almost win when I tell him I have a miscellaneous account at the hotel, which is a lie. He wins when he says he’s expensing it through his company.
As we leave the restaurant, Eric has his hand on the small of my back. I’d think it was odd if I hadn’t lived in Manhattan for years. It’s a chivalrous quality that men from the city take on. A way of letting you know if you’re in their company, they are taking care of you, no matter who you are to them.
I’m still contemplating this thought of Eric’s hand being on my back when I walk straight into something hard, my body ricocheting off the hard chest of a man.
“Excuse me,” I apologize as I brush the loose hair that has fallen in front of my face, behind my ear.
“No problem,” the man puts his hands on my arms and steadies me as I wobble on my heel.
I don’t need to see to know who that deep baritone voice belongs to. It’s in the way his calloused fingers feel against my skin. They’re rough yet gentle. It’s in the way that delicious scent of warm honey pours off of him leaving me dizzy with want. It’s how my hands are trapped around his corded biceps feeling his blood pulse beneath the skin sending my body aflame. It’s how being this close to his beating heart lets me know the man before me, without opening my eyes is Jax.
Another hand reaches for my side from behind.
I look up into Jax’s face. It only takes a moment for him to recognize the doe-eyed expression staring back at him. His gaze quickly travels to my hair and the drastic change since I last saw him ten hours ago.
He looks at me intently. His stare morphs from a confusing pinch of his brow to a softening expression that has his dark eyes glaze over. He’s looking at me like he sees something he’s lost and thought was gone forever.
“You okay, Trish?” Eric asks from behind.
Jax’s attention quickly fixes on Eric and hardens at the sight of his hands on me.
Jax lets me go, and I right myself by fixing my dress, brushing Eric’s hands, gently, off of me as I do so.
“I’m good.” My words are a little breathier than I planned.
I look back up to Jax who is staring at me in complete confusion.
“Kelli died my hair,” I say as if he asked me a question.
“I see that.” He’s holding his jaw tight, but I don’t think it has anything to do with my hair.
“I’m Eric.” He offers Jax his hand.
Jax just gives him a nod leaving Eric to drop his hand.
I turn my body so I’m now standing with one of them on each side of me.
Giving my attention to Eric, I explain. “Jax is staying in the Pele. It’s identical to the Maui suite. Well, almost identical—”
“Mines bigger,” Jax says with absolutely no expression at all. I think he’s trying to be funny, but I just can’t tell. It makes for an incredibly awkward silence.
For some reason, it makes me laugh in the middle of my throat. I kinda sound like I’m choking.
Eric doesn’t seem to be interested in standing here and playing this odd game of whose suite is bigger. His hand has returned to my back as he moves me away from the restaurant.
Jax doesn’t say a word as he brushes past us and walks into the restaurant, taking a seat at the bar. Isaiah is quickly by his side with a drink.
An attractive woman is seated at the bar. I don’t know if she’s meeting him or happens to be sitting there casually, but it serves as a reminder of the fact he if going to move on when he leaves here. He’ll meet someone nice, eventually settle down and start a family. Yeah, I know I’m getting ahead of myself but these are the thoughts that flash through my mind.
“Night,” I offer to Jax even though he can’t hear me.
I step away from Eric, as we walk toward the lobby. When we get there, we stand by the koi pond. My hands are clasped in front of my body. He has one hand in his pocket, and the other is in the air as he speaks.
“I had a great time tonight.”
“Me, too,” I say.
“I still want to pick your brain about the event. Are you available tomorrow? Or is asking for your time two days in a row too much?” He winks, and it brings my attention up to those baby blues that are ridiculously striking against his dark skin.
“I’m all yours. Are you sure you don’t have an activity or something you want to do? It’s kinda my job to make sure you get the most out of your stay.”
“How about you take me somewhere off site. Maybe a place I can bring my boss and wow him with my local expertise?”
“I can do that.” I smile and start to turn on my heel toward the exit when Eric calls my name again.
My feet halt. I face him fully and raise my brows in wonder.
“I’m lying,” he says.
I look back at him and the way he looks handsome in that suit and the charismatic way he carries himself. His choice to call himself a liar is confusing, to say the least.
He takes a step forward. “I don’t want to talk to you about my event. I want to take you to dinner as a man asking a woman on a date. If I’m honest, I want you to come up to my room right now and have a drink with me so we can talk some more. I know you won’t do that, so I won’t ask.”
I rub the back of my neck as he holds his hands, palm side up and says, “I like you.” He smiles, and it makes me smile. “This isn’t some set of lines. This isn’t my big move I use on women. I mean it. I like you, and I want to go out with you tomorrow on a date. Before you tell me it’s against company policy, I’m gonna say right now if you use that line I’ll book myself at the Marriott down the street.”
His comment makes me giggle which feels really good. I twist my fingers in front of my stomach as he takes another step forward.
I open my mouth to speak, but he speaks first. “I think you’re smart and funny, not to mention incredibly beautiful. I’d really love to take you to dinner tomorrow. What time do you get off?”
My feet shift from side to side. I should tell him I’m not interested in dating. I should say I’m not ready.
The truth is, I am a little interested, and I think I’m ready. I made a promise to myself that I wouldn’t let my own insecurities cause me to pass on something great ever again.
My mind wanders to Jax. Just like the ocean in the pitch black of night, I may not be able to see him, but he’ always there. His being ever present in my memories. We may be playing catch-up this week, but forty-eight hours from now he’ll be gone. Then what? He’s back to L.A. or New York, wherever he decides to call home, feeling grateful to have made peace with his demons, and I’m still here.
That’s right. I’ll still be here honoring the vow I made to myself. It’s time to move on. Maybe Eric isn’t the man I’ll be with forever, but he’s worth spending a nice night with having dinner. A real dinner—not one where I’m looking for anything to talk about but myself.
Eric is successful, charming, and damn if he doesn’t look great in a suit. Lani would kick my ass if I said no to him. That’s probably why I open my mouth and answer, “Yes.”