Derek had known that his news was going to blow her mind, and he’d debated whether to drag out the news or tell it in one fell swoop. In the end, he’d decided to do both. Tell her about the move to Austin first, and then tell her the rest when he got her alone.

What he hadn’t expected was such a visceral reaction from her. But here she was in their hotel room, pacing back and forth, barely saying a word.

“I guess I don’t understand,” she said. “You just decided to up and quit your job?”

“My job that required me to travel so much, yes. I’ll still be employed.” At least, he hoped so. That discussion was part of the dragging it out portion of tonight’s program, and right then she didn’t look primed to hear it.

“But—”

“Amanda, please. Sit down.”

She scowled, but complied, settling herself on the foot on the sofa in the suite’s living room. Since he wanted to see her face, he sat on the ottoman across from her. “I did a lot of thinking after Jared’s suicide attempt,” he began, then tried to put into words for her how much he’d empathized with Jared’s feeling of his life having no meaning, no real connections.

He took her hands then. “But I’m not Jared. I have you. And I wanted more, but that wasn’t possible unless I made some changes. I thought—hoped—that you wanted me in your life. And not just in a way that pops in periodically.”

She swallowed, but she didn’t hesitate. And when she said, “Yes, of course I do,” he thought those were the sweetest words in the world.

“Jared described it as a hamster wheel, and he’s right. There’s only one way off, and that’s to make the jump. Take a leap.”

“A leap of faith,” she said, her voice fragile. “At least you’re luckier than a lot of people. You have your money and your family business. A safety net for if you fall.”

“True,” he said. And not true, though he didn’t tell her that yet. No sense muddying things up before they needed to be.

He drew in a breath and continued. “But here’s the thing. It’s not just that I’m sick of traveling, it’s that I want to see you more. And not just more often, but more. Richer. Deeper. I love what we have, don’t misunderstand. But I don’t want to be going in a circle on a hamster wheel with you. I want a highway. Or long, lazy country roads. I want a horizon and a future.”

“You want a relationship.”

“Yes. No. I think we have a relationship. I want to put the stamp of approval on it and trot it out for our friends and family to see.”

She pressed her lips together. “What if I’m not ready for that?”

He leaned forward so that he could put his hands on her knees. “Baby, why wouldn’t you be? What is it that’s scaring you?”

She drew in a breath. “I don’t know.”

He slid off the ottoman so that he was on the floor looking up at her. “I think you do. I talked to Nolan, and Leo was a prick. He left without warning, he was an asshole. And that makes you scared. But I’m not Leo. You’re going to have to put up a fight to get rid of me.”

Her eyes met his, and for a moment, he saw their future in her soul. Then she hugged herself and shook her head.

“Dammit, Amanda, you’re scared to take a risk on something just because it might fail. That puts you on the damn hamster wheel.”

“Forget the fucking hamsters,” she snapped. “And you know what? It’s not just me. Or have you forgotten about the motor inn. Because that’s some pretty risky business, but I haven’t seen you going after that project in almost a year.”

“Right, well, that’s something else I wanted to tell you. I took that leap, too.”

She blinked at him, then slowly sat down. “What?”

“The motel’s just been sitting there, waiting to be renovated. My pet project going ignored, and I couldn’t stand it. So Since the board didn’t want it to be a division, so I set up my own corporation—DW Boutiques. The Winston Corporation is coming in as an investor, which is how I’m capitalizing it. But it’s all on me. This fails, my name in this business is shit. My dad will probably stick me back in the mailroom.”

Fire lit her eyes, and his heart swelled. “Derek, that’s amazing. Congratulations.”

“I can’t do that, though,” she continued, and he felt that flicker of hope fade into ash. “I don’t have a safety net.”

“Sure you do. You have me.” He grinned. “I’ll need a good real estate agent.”

“That’s only the net for if the business fails.” A tear trickled down her cheek. “The truth is, I didn’t even love Leo. It was my ego that was hurt, and my business, which really pissed me off. But if I go all in and then I lose you…”

She stood and started pacing. Again. And, dammit, he let his frustration get the better of him.

“For Christ’s sake, Amanda, I love you. I love you enough to take a risk. To go out into the world with you at my side and to tell people that we belong together. That we’re in this whole thing together, hamster wheel or highway. Don’t you get it, baby? For me, it’s all about you. I do,” he whispered. “I really do love you.”

Tears streamed down her face, and she hugged herself so tight her knuckles were white.

“Maybe I don’t love you.”

He shook his head. “That one’s lame,” he said. “I know you do.”

A strangled laugh bubbled out of her. “Yes,” she said simply. “I do.” She licked her lips. “But maybe that’s not what matters. I’m sorry, Derek,” she blurted as she hurried for the door. “I really am, but I have to go.”