Chapter Forty-Eight
Rory
I watched as Amelia’s blurry form drew away from me and disappeared up the escalator, and then I sank down on the bench and dropped my head into my hands. Had I really just said goodbye to her?
Why hadn’t I been strong enough to stay away from her? I could have gotten Amelia through the damned hike without getting involved with her, and then neither of us would be in agony now. But I’d let myself be selfish, let myself fall for her, so tired of being alone.
And now I was alone again. And it was so much worse than before.
A leg brushed mine as Tommy sat beside me on the bench. “You okay?”
He was unsmiling, his face grimly sympathetic. “I’m really not.”
“Let’s get the hell out of here. Unless you want to catch her before she gets through security? Last chance.”
“I can’t.”
He nodded. “Come on, then.” He pulled me to my feet, and we left the terminal.
Left Amelia.
When we reached the car, he went right for the driver’s seat, not grumbling at all about having to turn right around and drive the two hundred miles back to Skye.
I let my head fall back against the headrest and closed my eyes. I could still smell her scent. Could still feel the touch of her body against mine when we were wrapped around each other that morning. Could still taste her kiss on my tongue, could still hear my name as a sigh from her lips. Could still see the sadness in her eyes when we parted.
“Did you tell her you love her?”
“No. Not so she’d understand it, anyway.” Mar sin leat, a ghaoil. Goodbye, my love.
“Why the hell not?”
“How could I, Tommy? She had to leave. If I’d said the words, it would only have made things worse.”
“But you didn’t give her a chance. If she loves you, too—no, not ‘if,’ I know she loves you—but if she heard you say it, maybe she would have stayed.”
“She has a friend lying in a coma back home. And a new job in a new city to look forward to.”
“You should have tried.”
Anger crawled up my spine. “What I should have done is stayed away from her, kept my hands off her. Then our goodbye would have consisted of a friendly hug and an exchange of email addresses, instead of this,” I said bitterly.
“You don’t mean that.”
I sighed, the anger dropping away as fast as it had arrived. “No, I don’t. What we had together, for the few short days we had it, was better than not having it. But now…now it just fucking hurts.”
The rest of the drive back was mostly silent, other than the radio Tommy finally turned on. We stopped for a quick burger in Fort William, which I barely ate, and when we got back to Skye at nearly midnight, we went right to the Slig, where Tommy and Gav proceeded to get me drunk.
…
I woke up the next morning on Gav’s ancient sofa, my head pounding, my mouth parched. I rolled to my feet, cursing at the pain in my back from the sofa, and staggered to the sink for some water.
I wondered what Amelia was doing, if she’d gone to see Carrie straightaway, or if she would go today. I wondered if she’d slept okay, alone in her bed. If she was going to the doctor to get her knee checked out. If she was missing me as much as I missed her.
I wondered how I was going to get through the day without her. Or the next few days, until my next group arrived for their West Highland Way trek, and I’d at least have some distraction during the day.
The door to Gav’s flat opened, and he and Tommy walked in, bringing with them the smell of coffee and greasy food. Thank God.
Gav handed me a coffee. “How do you feel today?”
“Like I’ve been dragged through a hedge backwards.”
“Not surprising, considering you drank half your body weight in beer last night,” said Tommy.
After breakfast, I felt slightly more human. Tommy and I said goodbye to Gav and then headed out. As we approached the Sligachan Hotel, I gazed out the window at the Red Cuillins, clearly outlined against the brilliant blue sky. Glamaig, Marsco, and in the distance, Bla Bheinn.
Hard to believe that just a few days earlier, I’d walked through the glen with Amelia, passing all those peaks, climbing Bla Bheinn. Would I ever have that opportunity again with her?
I glanced at Tommy, whose eyes were thankfully on the road ahead and not the view.
I didn’t know what the future held for Amelia and me, and there was nothing I could do about that now. But in the meantime, there was something I could do—something that should have been done years ago.
“Tommy, we need to make a stop.”
…
Two days later, I summited Bla Bheinn for the second time in two weeks. Unlike the last time, the sky was a cloudless blue the whole way. Unlike the last time, there was no Amelia, giving me the strength to face the monster that had haunted me for so long.
But I did have Tommy. We traveled light, each of us with only a rucksack instead of a heavy pack, and it didn’t take much time to reach the top. I stood back while Tommy went to the wee cairn I’d built when I was with Amelia, bowed his head, and stood in silence for a long moment.
When he raised his head, I stepped forward. The purple-gray stone with the silver vein was right where I’d left it, shining in the sunlight. “I’m back, brother. Just as I promised. Tommy’s with me. And I—we—have something for you.”