Chapter Seventeen
Beth
I barely slept that night. Alessio haunted my dreams – in ways that managed to make me both terrified and incredibly aroused. When I woke up, my panties were soaked through and my clit was throbbing for want of attention. But my sheets were damp with sweat, and my hair was clinging to my head in sodden tangles. I yawned, then wrapped my bathrobe around my naked body and padded into the bathroom.
A long, lukewarm shower helped me feel more human again. There was a knot in the pit of my stomach that couldn’t be loosened, though. Not even a mug of my favorite peppermint tea mixed with three tablespoons of honey was enough to calm me down.
By the time Heather woke up, I’d been sitting at the kitchen table for hours.
“Hey,” Heather said. She sat down and looked at me with concern. “You okay?”
I nodded slowly. “I don’t know.” I swallowed. Alessio was weighing so heavily on my mind – I was dying to tell her what happened, but I feared her judgment.
“Oh, Beth, it’ll be okay,” Heather said. She reached over and rubbed the back of my hand with her own. Compared to my icy skin, her touch was almost hot enough to burn.
“I wish,” I said. I sighed. “I’m sorry to be such a burden all the time. You probably miss your fun friend.”
Heather shrugged. “It’s not a big deal,” she said. “But I know you’ll get better, Beth. You’ll find someone even better than Michael eventually.”
Part of me wanted to laugh – Heather thought I was still sad because of Michael? A pang of guilt stabbed my heart as I realized that was exactly how I should be feeling. A normal fiancée would feel guilty for years, I thought. The guilt seeped through my veins like poison. A normal fiancée wouldn’t ever want to give up on the man she once loved.
“I know,” I said. And I maybe already have, I added silently.
Heather yawned. She got up and walked over to the door, leaning down and grabbing the paper. “Holy shit,” she said. “Someone sent you something.”
I laughed dryly. “And why is that so amusing?”
Heather blushed. “I didn’t mean it like that,” she said softly. “Here.”
I frowned. The envelope was made from a thick material, almost like card stock, in a beautiful eggshell color. My name was scrawled on the front in spidery black ink that almost looked archaic.
“Open it,” Heather said. “Come on, I’m curious.”
My heart sank. The guilt came rushing back tenfold. “What if it’s from Douglas,” I said with a groan. “What if he wants more stuff back?”
Heather snorted. “That’s ridiculous,” she said. “Besides, you gave him everything you had that was Michael’s.”
“Except for the presents,” I said flatly. “I even gave him back my ring!”
Heather nodded. “Well, maybe it won’t be that bad,” she said. “Anyway, if you need anything, you know I’m here.”
With trembling fingers, I slid open the envelope. A scrap of newsprint fluttered down to the floor, with a note pinned on top of it. My heart was pounding as I squatted down and picked up the piece of paper.
My jaw dropped. “Oh my god,” I muttered under my breath. “It’s Alessio. I can’t believe this!”
“Who?” Heather squinted. “Beth, what are you talking out?”
A low moan escaped my lips. The photo showed Alessio, standing in a homeless shelter and food pantry, with his arms around two homeless people. He was grinning smugly, and the caption read: “Amoruso Gives Back! Local Food Giant Visits Soup Kitchen.”
The note pinned to the scrap of newsprint read: “Beth – so you think I can’t change? Watch me. Alessio.”
There was a winky face next to his name. I groaned. My stomach twisted into knots and I sank down on the floor, clutching the piece of paper in my sweaty hand.
“Wow,” Heather said slowly. “What’s all this about? Beth, what’s going on?”
I looked up at her and bit my lip. “I slept with Alessio Amoruso,” I said softly. “He’s out of jail.”
“Obviously,” Heather said. She rolled her eyes. “But what’s really going on?” She squatted down next to me and put her hand against my forehead. “Beth, you can tell me,” she said softly. “I promise – I won’t care.”
I stared at her. “You…you don’t care that I slept with him? Heather, he’s the man responsible for killing Michael!”
Heather shrugged. “I mean, it’s weird,” she said slowly. “But whatever, Beth, I don’t judge you. You know that.”
I sighed. Having told Heather my predicament – or at least, part of it – felt like a huge weight had been lifted from my shoulders. Still, it felt a little odd having acknowledged the truth out loud.
“I don’t know,” I said helplessly. “He made me promise that if he proves that he can change into a good man, I won’t testify against him in court. He said that his lawyer is almost certain he’s going to be pinned for Michael’s death.”
“Wow,” Heather said softly. “That’s heavy, girl.”
“It is,” I said. “I wasn’t even thinking when I agreed – I couldn’t believe that he was serious. Heather, this is all so fucked up. I feel so guilty!” Tears came to my eyes and I wrapped my arms around my knees and hugged them to my body. “I just wish I knew what to do. Everything feels like I’m betraying Michael, and I don’t want to do that, but at the same time, it’s not like I can just turn off how I feel.”
Heather rubbed my back. “It’s okay,” she said softly. “You’re doing the best you can in the best way you know how.”
Hot tears splashed over my cheeks and I bit my lip. “I just wish I felt like that,” I said. “I wish I could stop feeling so guilty!” That’s when I started to sob in earnest.
Heather pulled me into her arms and rubbed my back. “There, there,” she said soothingly. “Everything’s going to be fine, Beth. I promise.”
--
I cried in Heather’s arms for hours, until I tired myself out. I must have fallen asleep, because it was getting dark when I opened my eyes. My mouth tasted like stale snot, and my sinuses were still clogged from crying so hard earlier.
“Heather?” I called. “You here?”
I yawned, then climbed off the couch and flicked on a light. There was a note from Heather, saying that she was out shopping for groceries and that she’d be back soon. I frowned – I wasn’t exactly looking forward to facing her after my little crying jag, but I still wished that I wasn’t alone.
The buzzer sounded, making me jump. I frowned and walked over to the buzzer.
“Hey, Heather, did you forget your key?”
There was a pause.
“Beth, it’s Alessio,” Alessio said. “I want to take you to dinner. Please get dressed and meet me downstairs in ten minutes.”
My heart leapt but my brain said no. “I don’t know…” I trailed off. “I don’t know if this is a good idea, Alessio.”
Alessio’s voice snickered into the intercom. “Come on, Beth,” he said. “You’ll like it – I promise.”
I sighed. My stomach did feel empty, even though I knew accepting a date with Alessio was like accepting a deal with the devil.
“Okay,” I said. “I’ll be down soon.”
An hour later, Alessio and I were seated in the dining room of the Russian Tea Room. Despite all my time in New York City that I’d spent hanging out with rich people, I’d never been before. Alessio seemed pleased when I told him, and he wasted no time ordering a lavish spread that included a delicious cold duck appetizer and a full caviar service. He hadn’t even let me look at the menu, but instead ordered almost everything.
“So you can choose,” Alessio said grandly. His dark eyes shone in his handsome olive face.
I spooned some caviar and cream onto a blini before folding the delicate pancake and eating the whole thing in one bite.
“This is incredible,” I said honestly. And it was incredible. I’d never tasted food like this before. Despite his insane fortune, Michael had never developed a taste for dining out. He liked cheap fast food, like Five Guys, but that was about as gourmet as he got. And whenever I’d asked to spend money on a fancy dinner, Michael had always made me feel like a gold-digging criminal.
Alessio smiled darkly. The look on his face sent a shiver down my spine – even when he looked happy, he was still intense and almost scary. When I felt his hand inching up my bare leg under the table, I had to bite my lip to keep from moaning.
“I’m enjoying myself, too,” Alessio said. His voice was hoarse with lust. His dark eyes focused on my breasts and I blushed, suddenly glad that I’d chosen such a revealing dress to wear.
I licked my lips. “So,” I said casually. “You’re volunteering with the homeless now.”
Alessio smiled ironically. “I have to prove that I’m a changed man,” he said. He raised one eyebrow and I blushed hotly. “And I believe it’s working.”
“Not a chance,” I lied. “It just seems like such an obvious attempt, Alessio. You’re going to have to work a lot harder if you want to impress me.”
“Oh, the lady isn’t so easily impressed,” Alessio said. He snickered, making me feel like a little kid. “Well, be assured, Beth, I’m capable of working very hard.” His hand gripped my thigh and I whimpered softly as his fingers inched towards the crotch of my panties. My pussy was soaked and desperate for Alessio’s touch and my clit was throbbing. I closed my eyes and moaned softly as Alessio stroked his thumb over my pussy, rubbing me gently through the material of my panties.
“Alessio,” I moaned softly. “We’re in public!”
“I know,” Alessio said. He smirked. “It isn’t my fault if you can’t help responding to my touch.” He slid a finger inside my panties and into my waiting pussy. It felt so good that my eyes rolled back in my head and I moaned softly, spreading my legs and thrusting my hips forward in my seat.
The waiter breezed past the table and I jumped in my chair. I cried out and wriggled away from Alessio’s fingers. He licked his lips and watched me, seemingly aware that his dark stare made me both lustful and shy.
Alessio brought his fingers to his mouth. He sniffed them, then closed his eyes and leisurely sucked the finger he’d slid inside of me. Watching him enjoy the scent of my pussy musk sent a hot thrill through my body and I shivered.
“Does the lady feel like dessert?” Alessio raised his eyebrow. He looked down at the dessert menu.
I shook my head. “Get the check,” I whispered. “I need to be alone with you.”
Alessio’s eyes flashed with dark passion. “Yes ma’am,” he said slowly. “I believe I can do that.”
I’m falling in love with you, I thought as I searched Alessio’s face for any hint of emotion. And I don’t know how I can stop myself before it’s too late.