Chapter: 16: Max
I wanted to stay with Abby for the whole night, but I also wanted to be there in the morning when Benjamin woke up. Ms. Ruth would certainly take care of him if I wasn’t, but his temper had been a little volatile since the last meltdown. I watched Abby as her eyes closed and her breathing started to get softer. There was something almost angelic in the way she looked with the moonlight peeking through her broken blind and encircling her face. I had met my obligation and she was asleep, but I had a few hours to go before I really needed to get home, so I closed my eyes and held her. It was a good feeling, one that brought back memories of happier times before I let the idea of love and relationships turn to ashes in my mouth. When the clock got close to midnight, I pulled free and gathered my things. I took a moment to clean up in the bathroom before heading downstairs.
“Hello...cat.” When I got to the bottom of the stairs, I saw her cat cautiously approaching. He sniffed my leg and I bent down so he could sniff my hand.
After sniffing my hand for a few seconds, he started to weave in and out of my legs, purring and looking up at me. I reached down and scratched his head for a moment before walking to the door and locking it behind me. My driver was already waiting so I climbed into the backseat and had him take me home. I walked into my house to find all of the lights off and Ms. Ruth asleep on the couch. She had already decided I wasn’t going to be home for the evening, so there was no reason to wake her. I took a quick shower and then pushed Benjamin’s door open to check on him. He was fast asleep so I went to my room and climbed into bed. I curled up with my eyes closed and imagined Abby there, sleeping in my arms.
***
“I WANT TO GO!” I SAT up in bed to the sound of screaming. I tossed the covers off and quickly walked down the hallway.
“Oh, Mr. Martin. I didn’t realize you were home.” Ms. Ruth smiled when she saw me.
“Daddy, I want to go to the Fair!” Benjamin pointed at the television and I assumed he had seen another commercial.
“Come here, son.” I sat down on the couch and picked him up. He sniffled as I placed him on my knee.
“Are you going to take me?” He looked at me with curious ovals that certainly didn’t understand why I wasn’t eagerly agreeing to his request.
“Do you remember what happened when we went to the playground?” I bounced him on my knee as I spoke. “Where all the other kids were?”
“Yeah...” He nodded.
“Remember how upset you were when you had to wait in line to use the slide and all of the other kids kept bumping into you?” I held his hand and looked into his eyes.
“I asked them to stop. They wouldn’t stop, Daddy. That won’t happen at the Fair. I’ll do better, I promise.” His eyes started to well up with tears again.
“The Fair is kind of like the playground, Benjamin, but there will be way more kids there. There will be lines that you have to wait in for a long time.” I squeezed his hand and rubbed his knuckles.
“They have rides that look like fun and they have games.” A tear ran down his face.
“Do you really want to go?” I felt my heart breaking as I realized how set he was.
“Yes.” He nodded quickly.
“Okay, if you promise to be good for Ms. Ruth every day, then I’ll take you when it comes to town.” My face formed a tense smile.
“You will!? I love you, Daddy!” Benjamin leapt from my knee and wrapped his arms around my neck.
“I love you too, Benjamin. You have to be good for Ms. Ruth though. If she tells me you’ve been trying to take too many cookies or not doing your schoolwork, I’ll cancel the trip.” I patted his back as he relaxed his grip and slid to the floor.
“I’ll be good! I promise!” He started running towards his room, yelling something about the Fair the whole way.
“Are you sure this is wise? I know it is what he wants...” Ms. Ruth took a seat and looked over at me.
“I don’t know. Maybe I can take him during the day or early in the evening when there are less people there. I’ll figure it out. How can I tell him no? He doesn’t understand why he isn’t like other kids.” I let out a sigh and rubbed my eyelids with my thumbs.
“I know. He’s such a sweet boy. We should try taking him a few more places and get him used to the crowds. He does well during our weekly grocery store trips as long as he sits in the cart. We’ve even stopped for ice cream a couple of times and he’s been fine with the lines because they weren’t too long.” Ms. Ruth picked up her coffee cup and sipped the steaming brew. “How would you feel about me taking him to a daycare and sitting with him while he spent time with the other kids? I could bring him home immediately if there are any issues.”
“Yeah, I think that would be a good idea. Thank you.” I stared at the floor.
“We definitely need to let him meet new people and spend time with other kids. With school back in session, most of the daycares will have after-school programs. Letting him interact with some children his own age is going to be crucial.” Ms. Ruth continued to sip her coffee and I nodded in agreement.
I got ready for work while Benjamin ran around the house talking about the Fair, telling me all of the rides he was going to go on and all of the new treats he was going to try. I checked the date and saw it was a month away—it was going to be a long month with an overly enthusiastic child that couldn’t wait to find out what it was like to go to the fair. I certainly remembered my first time going—I was about his age when my father took me. Considering how much of a serious, fun-hating old bastard he was, it was a surprise he took the time. I didn’t want Benjamin to look back on his childhood and see the same thing in me.