Emily is sitting on my front stoop with a plastic bag in her hands when I get home from work. Her eyes are red and splotchy like mine have been way too often in the past few days.

“That’s funny,” I say as I hop off my bike and place it on my porch, “I don’t remember ordering a sarcastic coworker off the Internet.”

“How about a sad one?” she asks, looking up at me with puffy eyes.

I give her a smile as I sit down beside her. “If you’re sad, then you came to the right place. What’s in the bag?”

She grins as she opens it. “We both have broken hearts. So tonight is our wallowing night.”

“Wallowing night?” I repeat.

“Wallowing night,” she says, nodding her head firmly. “We’re doing everything wallow.”

I laugh as she starts pulling stuff out of the bag. “I rented Willow, I got walnut ice cream from Walmart, and we’re drinking Walla Walla Wine. We’re going balls to the walls wallowing.”

“Are we allowed to sit on the couch, or do we have to lean against the wall?” I ask with a laugh.

Emily scrunches her face up. “I haven’t thought about that.”

“Let’s do the couch,” I say, grabbing the red wine from her hands. I unscrew the cap and take a big gulp, already feeling a bit better.

I’ve been so sad for the past few days since I got back home, and I could really use a night like this where I can just be sad and teary eyed with a close friend.

Emily feels really bad about telling Nick about our drunken wedding, so I’ve decided to forgive her since she’s heartbroken too. And Tyler’s parents would have gotten the video in the mail anyway so it didn’t make that much of a difference in the long run. Plus, we’re all going to have to go our separate ways once the factory is closed, so I’ve let it go, and I’m just trying to enjoy what little time we do have left together.

We head inside and curl up under blankets as we watch the movie. I haven’t seen Willow in years, and it’s not nearly as scary or mind blowing or good as when I watched it as a kid.

“Wow, Val Kilmer was so hot back then,” Emily says as she shoves a heaping spoonful of walnut ice cream into her mouth. “I wonder what happened?”

“He probably ate too much walnut ice cream,” I say with a smirk. She turns to me with a glare as ice cream drips from her chin onto her shirt.

“It’s wallowing night,” she says, frowning at me. “Anything goes on wallowing night.”

I laugh as I turn back to the bad movie, trying to focus on it, but my mind keeps wandering back to Tyler. I wonder what he’s doing, if he’s happy or sad, if he’s thinking of me.

“Stop it,” Emily says, pointing her finger at me. “I can see the longing in your eyes. Tonight is a night of wallowing, not longing. Keep that shit tucked away until tomorrow.”

She refills my glass of wine as someone turns onto my street. I turn and look through the window behind me to the headlights driving up the dark road. I hold my breath as the lights slow to a stop in front of my house.

“Who is that?” Emily asks, turning.

My heart is pounding and my mouth is dry despite all the wine I’ve been consuming. Could it be him?

“Ah,” I say, dropping my shoulders in disappointment. I’d recognize that van anywhere. “It’s my parents. What the heck are they doing here?”

I jump up to go find out while Emily searches for the remote control. “I’ll pause it for you.”

“Please don’t,” I say as I head outside.

“Rainbow!” my mother says as she steps out of the van. “I love your house. It’s so cute!”

“Thanks,” I say, turning around and taking a quick glance at the house I love. “What are you guys doing here?”

A thick cloud of smoke follows my father as he steps out of the driver’s seat. “Hey, Rainbow,” he says, smiling as he takes my mother’s hand and they walk over.

I give them a quick hug, and then we’re standing on my front lawn awkwardly. “So, what brings you two to Summerland?” I ask.

“We were passing through on our way to Hippiefest, and we decided to come say hi,” my mom answers. “We had such a good time seeing you in Vegas, and we want to start doing it more often.”

“Really?” I ask, jerking my head back in shock. “You guys want to see me more often?”

“Of course,” my father answers. “You’re our Rainbow. Didn’t you have fun with us in Vegas?”

“Yeah,” I say, biting my bottom lip. Besides the nude swimming, weed smoking, awkward comments, sex in the hammock, and just about every other time they were around other people, I had fun. Kind of.

“Is Tyler inside?” my father asks, looking at my house. “I want to apologize to him. I spent all of his t-shirt investment money on weed.”

“That’s okay,” I say with a shrug. “I don’t think he’s going to mind.”

“Can we say hi to him?” my mother asks.

I take a deep breath, wanting to crumple to the ground. “He’s not here. We’re no longer together.”

They both looked crushed. “Why not?” my mother asks, touching my arm. “You two seemed so perfect together.”

My body feels so heavy whenever I think about this. “I can’t have it all,” I say, feeling cold and tired as I tell them. “I can’t have a career and love at the same time. I tried, and it didn’t work out. If I wanted to succeed at a career, then I had to let him go. So, I did. It’s better this way.”

“No, it’s not,” my mother says with a frown. “If anyone can have both, it’s you. You’re the smartest, most capable person I’ve ever known. Why are you selling yourself short?”

My dad shakes his head, looking disappointed. “The Rainbow I know takes whatever she wants and doesn’t let anything stop her.”

“But how can I focus on my career when my head is in the clouds with love?” I ask, feeling a tightness in my chest. “You two loved each other fiercely, but there was no energy left to devote to a career. I’m sorry, but I don’t want to end up like that—constantly moving from campsite to campsite, no money to pay bills or buy food. I’d rather have security and a place to live.”

“You have a place to live,” my mother says, pointing to my house. “But it’s not a home until you have someone you love inside.”

My heart hurts as I remember how nice and warm my house felt when Tyler was staying with me. It felt like home. It felt better than anything else.

“There’s a balance to everything in life,” my father says, lifting up one hand then the other. “You have to find a way to have your love life and your work life at peace. It’s the only way you’ll be happy.”

He’s right. I won’t be happy with only work in my life. Working overtime and weekends to get promotions and raises won’t bring me the kind of happiness I felt when I was wrapped in Tyler’s arms. And I won’t be truly happy either if I just go for love like my parents did and stop striving for a successful career. That’s not me either.

I never thought I’d say this, but my father actually said something profound that may change my life. I smile as I watch him, looking at him with a new-found respect.

“Does your house have a shitter?” he asks, starting to squirm. “Or should I go in the bushes?”

Well, that respect was nice while it lasted.

“You can go in,” I say, pointing to the front door. “First door on your right.”

He hurries in as I walk over to sit on the porch with my mom. For the first time in my life, I start to open up to my mother, telling her what happened between me and Tyler.

“I know we haven’t been the best parents,” she says with a sigh. “But if we’ve taught you anything, I hope that we taught you that love is all you need. I love your father with every breath that I take, and I can see you had that with Tyler.”

I drop my head as I listen.

“You don’t need a fancy career or a big house or clothes from a store when you have someone to love. Love can fulfill you in ways that nothing else can.” She taps my knee and smiles. “You should try it sometime.”

We sit in silence for a bit and then go into the house to check on my dad. I laugh when I find him under the blanket next to Emily with a glass of wine and a bowl of ice cream in his hands while they watch the end of Willow.

My mother and I squeeze beside them on the couch, and we watch the rest of the horrible-but-amazing movie together.

“Do you guys want to stay the night?” I ask after Emily leaves and it’s getting pretty late.

My father’s hands are all over my mother, and he’s looking pretty frisky.

“Are we allowed to make love in your house?” he asks.

“Absolutely not,” I say with my hands on my hips.

My mother looks at her watch and then frowns. “Then we should really get going. We’ll drive a bit and then sleep in the van.”

“We’re not going to be sleeping,” my father says before slapping my mother’s ass.

I smile even though it’s something gross that I never want to see again. After all of these years, they’re still so in love. I envy them.

That’s why they never needed a permanent home. That’s why they wandered around so much. Their home was each other, and that was permanent.

“I love you, Mom,” I say, giving her a warm hug. I can’t remember the last time I said those words to her. She looks thrilled when I pull away.

“I love you too, Dad,” I say, giving him a hug next. They tell me they love me too, and I feel better than I’ve felt in a long time as I stand on my front lawn and wave to them as they drive away.

In that moment, I forgive them for everything, and it’s like a weight has been lifted off my shoulders.

I finally get it. Love is all they needed. They had that and they didn’t care about anything else.

I’ve spent my whole life trying to be the opposite of them when what I really needed was to be more like them.

I’m ready to try and have a balance in my life of love and career, but our annulment is scheduled in two days and I’m afraid that it’s already too late.