"I have something to say!”

I stood ramrod straight with a hand stretched up to the ceiling of the musty all-purpose space. The room hushed. I supposed I should turn down the eagerness a notch. I was distraught after all.

"You have something to share?" I nodded at the elderly woman at the front, named Hazel. "Come up then." She waved me to the podium.

I took a tentative step forward. My throat was drier than the Gobi Desert. I shouldn't have drunk that stale coffee when I came in. Caffeine always made me jittery.

"This is a necessary step toward one's growth," I muttered to myself as I made my way to Hazel.

She stepped aside to make space for me. "Go on, dear." She had the kind of smile only grandmothers could offer. I stretched my lips to try and match hers. I'd always been a bit awkward with trying to connect with people.

Maybe that was another reason for June to leave me. The thought saddened me. The list had been getting longer and longer.

I promised myself that today was a new day. I cleared my throat, facing a diverse group of people before me.

"Hi, my name is Maggie Stewart." I paused to take a big gulp of air in, ready to express my own feelings to these strangers. "And I'm a jilted bride."

Twenty something pairs of eyes stared at me. Stared. Not gawk, or glare, or leer.

Did they not hear what I just said? Did they not see what I had just done? I opened myself up. Something my mother had been trying to get me to do for four weeks now. I cleared my throat again. Maybe they didn't hear me.

I continued on in case they did hear what I’d said. Others might have thought that I'd lost my marbles. Huh, if only that was all I'd lost!

"I was supposed to get married to my fiancé, June, last month, you see. Then on the day of our wedding"—the day that had completely changed my life—"he didn't show up. He sent a text to his sister, who's also my friend and my bridesmaid, five minutes before the ceremony started to say he wasn't coming." I played with my fingers, uneasy with the looks I was getting.

"Then I find out he’d run away with my bestest girl friend, Delaney. We grew up together. All of us." I counted off the names with my fingers. "Delaney, June, May, me. Delaney was supposed to be my maid of honor too." I shook my head in disgust. "The bitch!” I bit my lip, uncomfortable with the term I didn’t normally use. “How annoying is that?"

There wasn’t any reply from the crowd. I glanced back at them, realizing this time around, the eyes that stared earlier were now clearly confused eyes.

"Excuse me, dear," Hazel's old-lady voice grabbed my attention from my right side. I turned to her, sitting in a rickety folding chair—curly short white hair, plump aging body stuffed in a white blouse and long floral dress, paired with white orthopedic shoes. "You do know that this is Alcoholics Anonymous?" I glanced at my audience again, then back to her and nodded. "Well, are you an alcoholic?"

Was I an alcoholic? I had never even tasted beer. "No," I quietly told her and everyone, "I don’t drink. I thought I'd..."

"I'm so sorry dear, but that's what this meeting is for. And we don't just accept those who had been labeled as such. We accept everyone who had problems with any kind of substance abuse." Wrinkles multiplied around her eyes as she drew her brows together.

Substance abuse? "Does this mean I have to go?"

"You can stay, sit, and listen." To reiterate, she nodded her head, got up from her seat to usher me away from the podium.

I relented, "But I just need a few seconds more." She had a death grip on my arms. Why were old women so strong? A few other people from the front row stood too.

Great, just great. Not only was I left at the altar, now I couldn't even tell my story to anyone who would want to listen. Maybe I should become an alcoholic... or smoke weed...or...no, I couldn't do all that.

I had more secrets to share. A reason why I couldn't just pick up a bottle of beer and drown my sorrow. A reason that made my ex-fiancé and my ex-best friend's betrayal harder to swallow, more difficult to accept. The reason why at eight o' clock at night, I found myself wandering the streets, looking for someone who would listen.

I thought Divine Intervention had pushed me to this church, where this group met.

Taking the seat I had occupied a moment ago, I fiddled with my thumbs as the suffocating emotions came crashing in. Shivers overcame me, and I suddenly felt sad and so alone.

How could June do this to me? We’d waited so long to get married. We’d made a promise to each other.

And Delaney? Of all the guys she had batted her eyelashes and swayed her cellulite-ridden ass at, why had she gone for my fiancé?

I sat silently until Hazel announced another break, and I snuck out of the room without bothering to say bye to anyone. All they would see was the product of more heartache.

By midnight, I was back in my mother's house. My feet ached, my heart was still broken, and my whole story was untold. I could certainly wake up Mother. She would listen, but I didn't think she would like what I would tell her. I crept into the kitchen, careful not to wake her and Frank, her boyfriend number four this year, as I made myself a cup of tea.

Could you believe that? My mother was with boyfriend number four, and I couldn't even get husband number one to show up at our wedding. As I passed the fridge, I saw that my Mother had taken down a few photos off it and cropped others. Like any other fridge door, my Mother's was full of memories—photos of family, friends, vacations, birthdays, parties.

In recent months, it had been filled with photos of June and me. One picture, in particular, was from when June had proposed to me last year. He had gone down on one knee and presented me with half a karat engagement ring in front of our families. My mother had cropped him out of that and replaced his head with the Taco Bell dog’s. Same treatment was done to Delaney's photos, except Mother had glued a snake on hers.

I glossed my hand over the current and old photos of me, Mother and Frank, of May and me in our Thing 1 and Thing 2 Halloween costumes from the previous year. She would have listened to my tales of woes if I could stomach picking up the phone and calling her at home.

My cell phone buzzed in my pocket as I opened the freezer door and took out a tub of Ben & Jerry's Chunky Monkey. Who could be calling me at midnight? I checked the name of the caller: May Jansen. I answered right away.

"May! Oh my god, I was just thinking of calling you."

"Maggie, where are you?" It sounded like she was covering the bottom of the phone.

"I'm at home." For some reason, I whispered back even though I was alone in the kitchen.

"Good. Meet me at the park."

"The park?" I dropped the ice cream on the counter.

"Yeah, hurry up. I'm getting cold. Come now."

I contemplated the situation. I‘d been hoping to talk to someone, and May just happened to call. "Why don't you come to my house?"

"I can't." Her voice got even lower. "They're tracking my phone. Please come now. I have something very important to tell you. By the slides. Bye." She hung up.

Mindlessly, I took out a spoon for the ice cream, scooped out a good amount and popped it in my mouth. Darn, she did say she was getting cold. I pulled the spoon out of my mouth, licked it clean and threw it in the sink. Not caring that it made a loud clattering noise that could wake up the whole street.

I dashed to the garage and brought out my bicycle, hopping on it quickly. For a second, I thought it could be dangerous for someone in my condition, but May was getting cold, and she had sounded desperate on the phone.

May and June's dog Pinto had just finished doing his business by the oak tree when I arrived by the slide. I dismounted the bike like how we had when we were younger—flinging one foot over to the other side, ditching the bike and letting it clatter on the ground—and I continued to walk to where May stood waiting.

She had a dark sweater on, the hoodie pulled over her blonde hair. I raised an eyebrow at her. "What's with the covert look?" I couldn't help but glance around the area, even though I knew no one would be around this time of the night. I sat at the bottom of the slide, tucking my sneakers into the sand.

"Took you long enough to get here."

"Good to see you too. My life has turned to crap lately, thanks for asking. You going to tell me what's up?" I didn't mean to be grumpy, but I was tired and hungry. I should have brought the ice cream with me.

"Shit. Sorry, Mags." May squeezed her little butt beside me and leaned her head on my shoulder. "She's pregnant."

A bird squawked in the distance and spooked Pinto.

"Pregnant?"

"The whore." May released a heavy sigh. "Delaney. June got her pregnant."

My heart wrenched at the news. "What?"

"Yeah, Mags. She's pregnant. I think that's why he did it."

Bile churned in my stomach. I leaned my elbows on my knees and draped my head between my legs. A sob escaped from my mouth. May rubbed my back trying to soothe me.

I couldn't believe it. How could he have done that to me? June and I had been together for so long, since before dating was a thing to anyone else. Everyone thought we would be with each other until our hairs turned silver. We had a plan. We had made a promise to each other. I loved him. I trusted him...with everything.

And he broke me. He broke us.

"How pregnant is she?" I asked May between heaves. However, not a single tear rolled out of my eyes.

I sensed her hesitation, which meant it was worse than what I had been thinking.

"Four months."

I turned my head, glared at her through dry lashes. "Four months? But that means..." I couldn't take it. I kicked the sand and let it spread in the wind, causing some granules to stick to my face and land on my hair. "They've been going at it behind my back for that long?"

May stayed quiet, hanging her head.

"How could they do this to me? How could he do this to me? I knew he knew all this time that Delaney slept around. Why would he do that? Did I make him wait too long? Was that it? He could have told me, May. He could have told me!"

"I know, Mags. I'm sorry. I'm disgusted as much as you are. He was probably drunk or something," May offered an excuse.

I brushed my hair to one side, letting it hang over one shoulder and swiped at my whole face. "Now I'm going to have to get checked."

"Why?" It was a legitimate question. "Why do you need to do that? Did you guys have sex?" I looked away. "I thought you were waiting until after you got married?"

"Yeah, and look what happened.” I slapped my hand down the lip of the slide, then pushed myself up. "We were getting married, so I thought, I figured why not just do it."

"Oh my god, Maggie."

"This is so screwed up."

"Did you use protection?"

I leaned forward toward May. "We were getting mar-ried. We bought wedding bands, I had a dress, he had a suit. We sent out invitations!"

"No need to yell at me. I only wanted to tell you because I didn't want you to find out from anybody else." May crossed her arms over her chest.

"It would have been great if it had come from June!"

May gaped at me, staring right up through her long lashes. "He wanted to tell you in person, but..." I knew the exact reason, but I let her continue, "Delaney wouldn't let him go near you. I overheard her saying she was going to march to your house and tell you herself."

That fiancé-stealing wench! Not only had she stolen my boyfriend, the man I was supposed to marry, I was ready to marry, she had also gotten pregnant by him, and she'd have the audacity to tell me in person? What an idiot! Didn't she know I was this close to kicking her ass?

And June... What a douche! A cowardly douche.

"Did it happen more than once? Maybe you should get checked soon."

I shook my head. "We did it just that one time." And that apparently had been enough to cause more problems. "You better go home. It's late."

May stood, pulling at Pinto's leash. "How about you?"

"I'm going now too." I picked up my bike off the ground. "I'm sorry for yelling at you, May, you didn't deserve it." I knew if June wasn't her twin brother, she'd see me more often. She'd rally for me more.

May walked up to me and gave me a tight hug. "I'll see you around. I'm sure this will all blow over, and you and I can start hanging out again."

"Yeah that would be nice," I said, returning her hug back. "And thanks for telling me."

I watched her walk to the other side of the park, her shoulders slumped forward, her feet dragging. She felt sad. She felt bad. She felt sorry. Just like everyone else I had encountered for the past month.

I was angry at June. I was humiliated in front of almost two hundred people who had shown up on my wedding day. I was betrayed by my best friend, whom I had considered a sister. I felt lonely. I felt sick. And I was afraid.

Not knowing why had been bad. Now knowing the truth was beyond painful.

Just my luck, the dark heavens opened up, and the rain soaked me to the bone. The roads had turned slick, and it became too dangerous to ride. Even though I shivered non-stop, all I could think of was that tub of ice cream in the freezer. Was this what it would be like? The cravings? No matter what other problems I had going on in my life, would I only make these cravings first priority?

I returned the bicycle back into the garage, and I entered the kitchen through the mudroom, taking off my wet shoes and socks. The water from my clothes created a wet trail. I would have to mop that clean. After the ice cream.

Opening the freezer door and taking out the tub again, I felt lost. I could have told May that possibly contracting any communicable diseases from sleeping with June might not be the only problem. My stomach grumbled, and I patted it.

Staring out the window into the ominous, rainy night, I stuck my finger in the ice cream and scooped out a dollop and ate it. As I sucked my frozen finger, I wondered, how would June react if I told him Delaney wasn't the only who could be having his baby?

* * *

Sleep evaded me. I listened intently as my mother and Frank stirred awake around six in the morning. My mother would be checking on me any second now. So, I stayed still, closed my eyes, and kept my breathing steady. I wasn't prepared for her, yet.

I waited until they both left for work an hour after before jumping out of bed. Nausea hadn't set in. I’d read about what might happen during first trimester pregnancies, and I'd been lucky. I remembered how my sister, Nica had been when she was pregnant with my niece, Amiee.  She had horrible bouts of nausea and morning sickness. And our mother constantly reminded her that she had gone through the same ordeal when she had been carrying Nica, but it had been entirely different when she was pregnant with me.

My stomach grumbled. I guessed the only issue I had right now was the constant hunger. When I searched the kitchen for something appealing to eat for breakfast, nothing caught my attention. It also had a lot to do with a mother who never quite figured out how to cook. I settled with a safe choice—strawberry jam on toast.

It wasn't nearly as satisfying as a Chunky Monkey scoop. So, I raided the freezer again. I was shocked to see the tub was half empty. Had I eaten that much ice cream? At this rate, I'd likely balloon in another month. I idly wondered what Delaney looked like now.

I had noticed she’d gained a few pounds weeks before, but it hadn't been anything unusual for her. She yo-yo dieted our entire teen years and never ever had been successful. I imagined her boobs would get a lot bigger, not that she needed that. She'd always filled in nicely in the bra region, unlike me. Her "twins" had been her best assets. Delaney had been proud of them, showing them off whenever she could. She loved the attraction they garnered from all the boys, which now included my ex-fiancé.

No matter how much I tried to think of it, I couldn't wrap my head around the reasons why she would take him away from me. And why he took her bait. How had I not seen the signs, if there were any? That had been Nica's question, followed by "Do you want me to send Chase out to break his legs?" I’d laughed, shook my head and began crying again.

My sister. She was a tough cookie, in her own ways. And if she couldn’t solve a problem, her best friend, Chase would always be by her side. That’s what friends do! Not steal the other’s groom.

Standing in front of the refrigerator, my fingers hovered over photos of my sister and Amiee. Motherhood suited her. Her hair was long and glossy, her cheeks pink, her body changed in a flattering way. The little one, Amiee, was a bundle of everything cuteness. A beautiful mixture of her and her Hollywood-star-looking husband, Levi. I recalled what she had told me the first time we discovered June and Delaney had eloped. I’m here for you…for anything…anytime.

A light bulb flashed.

Nica and I had never been extremely close, mostly due to our age difference. But I knew she would hear me out. She’d listen. And she could help me figure things out. Together, we could find a solution.

I looked down at the ice cream, surprised that through all my ministrations, I had finished the entire tub. I threw it in the trash and washed my hands. Then I flew to my bedroom and packed.

* * *

Later that day, I found myself in front of an imposing iron gate, flanked by enormous oak trees and solid stone walls.

The cab driver whistled as he took in the sight before us. "Looks like one of the biggest properties around here." I was sure he was talking to me, but my head was somewhere else.

I'd only stayed in this estate and vineyard twice during Nica’s wedding and her baby shower. She and Levi decided to split their time between this piece of heaven in Napa Valley, and their enormous penthouse in the San Francisco. The last time we spoke, she told me they would be staying here for a while, and that I was welcome to stay anytime.

School was out for the summer, and I had taken a leave from my grocery store cashier job. All I'd done the entire month was be angry, sad, and afraid at home. At least here, I could get away from the looks of pity.

Thinking now, I should have called before I left home, but rushing had been the better idea at the time. If I moved too slowly, my mind would chastise myself for being a coward, for not facing my mother, and my problems head on. Instead, I ran off to Napa Valley with a baggage full of clothes I might not be able to wear in a few months, a few bills in a sandwich resealable bag as my secret stash, and a dangerously high level of mixed up emotions. I was a coward. A big one. No doubt about that.

"So, what do you wanna do, sweetheart?" He might as well have called me "toots" by the way he said that last word. "Looks like you need to enter a code." He pointed at a keypad by the entrance.

There was a code? Panic began to set in. I really should have called first.

"I think I'll wait out here." I handed him my fare, including a big tip before he could make another comment, dragged my carry-on luggage out of the car, then slammed the cab door a little too hard.

"Hey watch it, will ya? Just because you're rich don't mean you can go destroying other people's property!" He popped his head out of the car window, scowling at me.

"I'm not rich! My sister is." And her husband. And they would both flip out when they found out I had traveled all the way here in hopes of escaping the stares and glances from all the people I had known my entire life. I wanted to be free of the "poor dear," and the "oh so sad" looks.

The driver muttered some other words I didn't hear as he reversed back onto the main road.

I dragged my stuff to the curb, sat beside it and looked up to the sky. Insane didn't even begin to describe me. I zipped open my bag and unwrapped the sandwich I had packed for this trip when a black SUV pulled into the driveway.

The driver side window rolled down. "Maggie?" Nica's shocked look appeared. "What are you doing here?"

I jumped to my feet, dropping my sandwich on the ground. "You said I could come and stay with you guys. You said that, remember?"

Nica furrowed her brows. "Of course, I remember." She glanced at my luggage. "Hop on in. We'll talk inside."

I grabbed the items I brought, picked up the soiled sandwich and stuffed it in my bag. As I opened the car door, I cute little laugh greeted me. Aimee was in the back smiling widely at me.

"Hi, Aimee. You've gotten so big." I waved my fingers at her, and she giggled again.

“Hi, anty!” the two-year old greeted back. At least she made me feel welcome.

"Why didn't you call?" Nica asked as she moved closer to the keypad and punched in the code.

I watched the iron gates open in front of me, welcoming us to the grandeur of what Nica and Levi now considered home. "It was a spur of the moment thing."

Nica drove forward, her eyes focused on the road, but I could almost hear the gears spinning in her mind. "We were supposed to be in San Francisco by now. I have a few things I needed to work out at the office. But Aimee had a fever yesterday, so we decided to stay. You could have been stuck here all weekend. You should have called. Or at least, got Mom to call me."

I stayed quiet and slouched into the plush seat. Out of the corner of my eye, I could see Nica turn to me.

"Mom does know you're here, right? Maggie?"

"Well..."

"Maggie! What were you thinking?" she fumed as the SUV pulled in front of their house.

I dared a glance at her. "I wasn't?" I was a lot taller than Nica, but she had a way of making me feel small, child-like.

"No kidding. I can't believe you traveled on your own all the way here without telling anybody. What if something had happened to you?" she gritted out.

"That's the problem. Something did happen to me. I got left at the altar. My boyfriend whom I thought I would be with forever shacked up with my best friend. Everyone back home feels sorry for me. I can't talk to anyone. I can't look at anyone's face. All I hear is 'poor Maggie Stewart, dumped at the altar at nineteen." I wheezed and faced Nica. "Nineteen! Who gets left at the altar at nineteen, Nica? Me." I pointed a finger at myself. "Things like this always happen to me."

"Okay, Maggie. But no one told you to get married so young.” My eyes widened, disbelieving that she brought it up again. “I didn’t mean to say that. Sorry..." She reached out a hand to me.

"Sorry," I scoffed. "All I've heard for the past month is sorry. And from the wrong people too! You know who isn't sorry? June. And Delaney. They're not sorry. They're happy, so happy. They’ve been seen frolicking around town like nobody knows what they did. They're kissing and necking and..." My stomach lurched. "I think I'm gonna throw up."

I jumped out of the car and hurled into the rose bushes. Nica was at my side in an instant, rubbing the middle of my back. I heard a door open.

"Miss Nica, are you okay?" Anita, Nica's housekeeper, asked with a heavy accent.

"Yes, Anita. Aimee is in the car. Could you take care of her?"

As I glanced up, wiping my spit onto my sweater, I saw Nica's concern in her eyes. "Sorry."

"Don't. Come inside, and we'll get you settled. I'll bring your stuff in."

I nodded and obeyed.

Casa de Laurent was huge, but it felt homey. That had a lot to do with Nica's personal touches. She had made it into a comfortable home for the three of them. There were fresh flowers at every corner. The place had neutral tones and was reminiscent of a chalet in Provence, not that I had ever been there. I knew this from what Nica had told Mother.

Nica led me to the large kitchen. I parked my butt on one of the barstools, watching my sister grab a bottle of water from the two-door sub-zero fridge and a glass from one of the cabinets. Clearly, the kitchen wasn't built for someone her height, but her husband, Levi loved to cook, and I could picture him creating something masterful in here.

"Drink up." Nica slid a glass of water to me. "We should call Mom."

I bit my lip once I put the glass down on the counter. That was one conversation I wouldn't want to be a part of. Not just yet, at least.

Nica shot an eyebrow up. "You know we have to." She took out her cell phone from the purse she had dropped on the countertop and started swiping at the screen.

"Can we wait for a while? I'm so exhausted from the trip. I need energy to face Mom," I pleaded.

My sister contemplated on it for a few seconds before deciding. "I'll talk to her and tell her you're safe with me. Go rest by the fireplace, and I'll take you to your room after."

She didn't have to tell me twice. I'd do anything to avoid having to talk to Mother. She pointed me in the right direction, and I found myself in a great room with a huge marble fireplace, surrounded by thick-cushioned sofas. My eyes drifted down as I laid down and waited for Nica to finish talking with Mother.

I wasn't lying when I said I was exhausted. It could have been from the travels, but it could also be part of the pregnancy. I'd read it could cause exhaustion and lack of energy. Whatever I'd have to deal with could wait until after I got some restful sleep.

* * *

I could hear hushed voices around me. Familiar ones.

Where was I? Was I still in the church? If I opened my eyes, would June appear in front of me, telling me I had just fainted? And everything that had happened had only been a terrible dream?

My eyes fluttered open and blurry shapes started to take form. I swiped at the drool which flowed from my lips. I was the epitome of class. “June?” I called out to what I could tell was a male-form, tall with broad shoulders.

He moved forward, followed by a woman. "Mother?"

"God, now she thinks I'm my mom."

"She's probably delirious." A large hand covered my forehead. "She has a slight fever. Maybe I should take her to her room."

"Okay."

I was being moved, lifted off the soft, cushiony clouds. Why was I so tired? Why couldn't I get my eyes to open? My body felt heavy. I pitied the person carrying me. I was no lightweight, and with the amount of ice cream I'd had this past month, I was sure I had added quite a few more.

I was lulled back to sleep as soon my head hit a pillow.

"June, I miss you," I told him. He was the only one strong enough to pick up and carry me. Years of playing football had done him some good. A blanket was laid over my body. I tucked my hand under my head as I went back to a deep slumber. "Stay with me a while, June. I missed you."

A warm body joined me on the bed, and an arm wrapped around me.

Tomorrow. Tomorrow I would wake up and see a brighter, lighter day. Tomorrow fixed everything.