Chapter Thirty-Two

Rose

Tessa promised me Finlay would be here and she delivered. However, I wasn’t expecting to see him on check-in. It took some convincing to get my friends to stay in this hotel over the usual cheaper options we’re more accustomed to, but having a secret bank account they’re unaware of made paying for this trip much easier for everyone … I have Finlay to thank for that.

Glancing at Fin’s side profile, I admire just how little it’s changed … Well, apart from his hair being so much shorter than it was when I left. He has a more all-over-shaved look now.

“Rose, I’m—”

“You’re wondering why I’m not mad at you, right?”

When his eyes flick to mine I see sadness, frustration, fear, excitement … I see it all. Finlay is unable to hide how he’s really feeling. “Well, yes,” he whispers.

Searching him, I can’t help wondering how I’ve managed to stay away from him for the time I have.

“Rance told me,” I blurt out.

He’s searching me for answers. The question is how many answers do I give him? Even I’m unsure.

“How you really felt the night I left, and why it was so important for me to leave you when I did. Fin, I know about the letter you received.”

He doesn’t speak a word.

“Rance really helped me in the following months to get set up at university and in securing a place in the dorms.”

Betrayal replaces his previous expression. “Rance has known where you were all this time?”

“Yes,” I say. “And Tessa.” The elevator stops and the doors part wide on our floor, and we step out with haste.

“Rose.” His hand takes my shoulder in a light grip.

Turning around, I’m scared as to how his gaze will have changed from five seconds ago.

“Tess has known where you were as well?”

“Yes.” My stomach jumps into my chest as I look at the ground.

Finlay walks around my body, keeping his hand in place. “Please look at me.”

I do.

“Can I see you later tonight? I have to see you again.” Desperation takes over his gaze.

“Yes,” I breathe.

“I have to go now because I need to be somewhere, but if I could come and collect you about seven p.m., would this be okay?”

“I have a thing to go to with my friends.”

“Oh.”

“You could come if you’d like. It’s just some dinner and drinks.”

“I’d like to”—he pauses—“come with you.”

“Okay. Can you meet us in the restaurant downstairs? It’s where we’re eating.”

“Okay.”

It’s at this point Finlay must realise he’s holding on to me, and with a sudden snap of his hand, I’m left naked from his touch. “I’ll walk you to your door.”

“Okay.” I grin up at him.

The intensity has not changed between us—I know this because being in his presence, even some distance from his side, I’m still overwhelmed with a torrent of intense emotion. One year ago, Finally Crossley walked away from a chance of there ever being an us and closed a door to save me … By doing this, he didn’t just enlighten me—he gave me my life back.

“Tonight.” He smiles.

It’s a knowing smile, as if he’s privy to information I’m not aware of, yet it’s me who stands here before him holding a queen-high straight flush of hearts and him who is bluffing. I didn’t leave Finlay as he left me. I’ve always known how he is coping. It’s the only thing that made leaving for this amount of time bearable.

Five of us travelled into the city of Rellic from the dorms situated farther out of town. I like the dorms since they are closer to where I was born, an hour away in Costic, but a weekend away with friends is something I’ve been looking forward to, as well as having the chance to see Fin again. An afternoon of shopping with Luke, Casey, Tara, and Ziggy, the four people who I met not long after arriving here heartbroken and alone, is filled with the usual laughter. The five of us are studying to become veterinarians, so we have that in common. I believe I’m the only one of us who has a secret identity, though. I’ll have to make sure Finlay is careful with what he says when he comes out with us this evening. I’m glad he is because I want him to see what my life is like now, who I associate with and where I’ve managed to find my own dream.

The afternoon rolls by and we enjoy a light meal at a small café and continue shopping, that is until Tara begins to change from a nice pink colour to an almost green one, as do Casey and Ziggy, but he looks the worst for wear, and by the time we end up back at the hotel, they take turns circling the bowl in Casey’s bathroom … misery likes company it seems … and I think this misery is gastro. I’m going to have to cancel dinner with Fin because my friends need me and meet up with him later tonight when they are all asleep and the worst is over.

As we sit in Luke’s room at 6:00 p.m., I explain to him how I mindlessly invited an old friend who is in town to come out with us this evening, and since now we won’t be going, I’ll need to duck away from assisting him with nursing duties for a short moment to cancel those plans. Luke ensures me it’s best for me to get out into the fresh air and to go have fun on the town with my friend. I know I shouldn’t accept his offer, but I want to. I really want to spend as much time with Finlay as I can while he’s here.

“Are you sure it will be okay?” I ask as the credits of the movie Luke and I were watching together rolls down the screen.

His thin lips lift into a smile before his hazel-green eyes look at me with bewilderment. “Yes, why wouldn’t it be? The gang are all sleeping now, anyways. I checked on each one of them when you were in the bathroom. I think the worst is over.” He seems adamant I should leave.

“No. I’ll stay.” What type of real friend leaves when the others are unwell, I think, fidgeting with a golden tassel hanging from the corner of a throw pillow sitting in the middle of the black leather lounge we’re relaxing on.

“They’re asleep, Rhi-Rhi. They didn’t really need us too much anyway, and I don’t know about you, but I’m not planning to get too close to them, even though I still think it’s food poisoning over gastro. They all had those fancy meat appetiser things for afternoon tea, and you and I didn’t … it makes sense.”

“Yeah, they did.” It probably is just food poisoning.

“Go have fun, will you?” He stands.

“Why don’t you come too? We’ve come all this way.” I follow him with my eyes as he makes his way into the kitchenette and places the coffee cup he’d been nursing into the sink.

“No, I don’t feel much up for it now anyway, and I don’t know your friend, so I’d feel out of place.”

“Are you sure?”

“I’m sure.” He flashes me a content smile. Luke is a good and understanding person in nature. It makes sense he wouldn’t be bothered by me leaving.

“Okay, well, I’ll message to check on everyone in a few hours, and I’ll come back if needed.”

“If you want to. I’ll keep my phone close.” He points towards his bedroom doorway. “I’m busting to use the toilet, so if you’re going, go.”

“Oh, okay,” I mouth awkwardly, standing.

“Have fun.” He flashes a toothy smile, and I’m sure he’s convincing me I shouldn’t feel bad about this.

“I will. Message me if you get sick, okay?”

He puts his thumb into the air before disappearing into the bedroom. I take this as my cue to leave.

Entering my room, I hurry to get ready. A strapless navy cotton dress loosely falls from under my breasts, stopping before my knee. I match this dress with a pair of black heels and a black clutch, the only dinner outfit I brought with me.

Flicking my eyes to the small gold face on the watch my mother brought me after we came to an agreement and she visited two months ago, I’m alerted to the time—6:53 p.m. My stomach fills with a sensation of fluttering. In only a few minutes, I’ll have the opportunity to spend time with Finlay again.

Applying a fresh coat of gloss over my red lipstick, I scoop up the clutch and go to press in the lock on the back of the door. There is no lock. Swipe card silly. The door closes behind me.

I startle, because when I step in the direction of the elevator Finlay is quietly waiting. His dark jeans and grey dress shirt fit him perfectly, and when his chocolate brown eyes gaze into mine, my heart races. I don’t think he’ll ever stop having such an effect on me.

“I saw you, so I waited.” His lips part then close, and with this movement I close my eyes and think back to when those lips used to claim mine, and how I’d like this experience again.

“Thank you.” My voice is barely audible.

“You look beautiful, Rose,” he says when I sway my hips in his direction.

I can only imagine I’m grinning like the Cheshire cat. The compliment means everything to me. “Thank you.”

“Ready?”

“Yes.”

As the elevator doors part in welcoming, we board, and my hand warms. Finlay has taken it in his, and I don’t dare pull away.

“I’m not hungry,” I mumble as we step out on the ground floor.

“Neither am I.” I’m not sure if this is true, because the way he is staring at me is contradictory—his eyes are fiercely hungered.

“Would you like to just walk for a while?”

“Yes, I think I would, Rose.”

Hand in hand, we take to the footpath and wander with no destination in our minds. We talk; we talk non-stop about everything. Alan and his new girlfriend, Gia, who Finlay seems to express quite a fondness for. The lads and how Sailor and Tardo are both settling down with significant others, and how they’ve become accustomed to the upper class way of living, but when the conversation turns to Tessa we halt all movement.

“She knew where you were?” It’s almost like Finlay can’t process this.

“Yes. She did.”

He takes my upper arm, gently moving me to make a clear path for moving pedestrians.

“Tessa is quite poorly now, isn’t she?” I can hear it in her tone when we speak on the phone.

“Very.” There’s a horrible sadness invading his eyes. “The doctors say it’s only a matter of months.”

“I’m sorry, Fin.”

“So am I. Tessa has done much for many, and it seems she’s also done even more than I knew about, like being in contact with you.” And there’s the look of betrayal replacing his sadness.

“Please understand she was only helping.”

“I would have—” He stops.

“You made the right decision.” My hand finds his cheek, and as I run my fingers over his stubble, I don’t break eye contact.

“Are you happy, Rose?”

“I really am.”

Finlay takes a step backwards, and with this my hand falls away. “Tell me about university.” He changes the subject, and I allow it.

“I love school. I’m studying to be a veterinarian.”

Warmth again radiates through my hand as he claims it, and we begin to walk once more.

“Veterinarian, hey?”

“It made sense to me, but I’m not sure why. Maybe my short time in a farming community when I was a child subconsciously influenced me. Or maybe it’s the fact I’ve always had such a strong love for animals. Or, Fin, maybe it’s because I had no idea what to do after losing you.”

Silence follows me saying this. Finlay is protective of his heart, I fear, and I need to be patient with him and allow him to process what he has learnt from me so far.

“And your friends?” He croaks before clearing his throat.

“My friends … well, they are wonderfully nice. Luke seems to be the leader of our group, and I think this is because he always has the best study notes. He’s more focused than me.”

A smile touches his lips and then vanishes.

“Rooming with Casey and Tara is sort of like having my very own sisters living here. Well, more relaxed versions, anyway.” I giggle. “I can confide in them, and they never ask for anything or expect me to be a certain way. Ziggy is Tara’s partner …”

“I missed you,” he blurts out, catching me off-guard.

“I know,” I whisper, meeting his gaze.

“I’ve really missed you, Rose.”