I feel my heart in my throat, pounding, a heavy beat that reminds me that this is really happening. I lift my hands and grip his biceps, his flesh warm, thick from working out in the fields day in and day out. Before I left, Logan always looked out for me, always took care of me. We were the best of friends, but I wanted us to be much more.

He’d wanted more too.

“What we have is the realest fucking thing in this world, Lila.”

I lift my hand and cup his cheek, the scruff under my palm surprisingly soft. I rise up on my toes and press my mouth to his, the kiss soft, sweet almost. He has his hands curled around my body. He opens his mouth and slips his tongue inside, fucking me like I want him to do between my legs. For long minutes we kiss, our breathing fast and hard, identical. When he pulls away I’m gasping for air.

I am done waiting, done trying to pretend I can live without Logan in my life, in the way we were always supposed to be. I should have never run. I’m here now, and that’s what matters, I tell myself.

“Take me, Logan. Be with me. Make me yours,” I whisper. I feel him playing with the hair by my ear, and chills race up my spine. This moment I’ve dreamed about for so long, fantasized about until it consumed me.

He looks into my eyes and I see the love he has for me reflected back. “For me, it’ll only ever be you, Lila. It’s only ever been you for me.”

Every part of me is on fire. I’m wet, so soaked between my thighs I know he’ll slide into me effortlessly. I’m nervous, know there will be pain, but with that discomfort will be pleasure because I’ll finally be with the man I love.

He moves impossibly closer, my legs spread to accommodate him, his erection thick, like a steel pipe pressing to my most sensitive, intimate part. This sound of need leaves me, guttural, raw.

Before I know what is happening, Logan is gently pushing me back so I’m lying flat on the table, a few pieces of cutlery falling to the floor with a clatter. I don’t care about anything else but being with Logan. I’m panting as I watch him lower himself between my legs, his face so close to my pussy I can’t breathe. My chest is rising and falling, my stomach hollowing as I breathe, watching him down the length of my body, knowing he’s about to kiss me there.

He looks up at me, his gaze heavy lidded, his warm breath moving along my exposed folds. I can’t think, can’t even breathe right now. His hands are on my inner thighs, his fingers digging into my skin. I hope there are bruises there, painting my flesh so it shows his ownership of me.

“I have to taste you, have to know your flavor, memorize it, Lila.”

I lick my lips, knowing I won’t be able to actually say the words. Instead I nod, my hands wrapped tightly around the tablecloth beneath me, the fabric my lifeline right now.

“Ask me to lick you, to taste you, sweetheart.”

I’m so dizzy that if I weren’t already lying down I might have passed out. My mouth is so dry it’s like I’ve been chugging sand.

“Go on, Lila, baby. Tell me what you want and it’s yours.”

I tighten my hold on the linen beneath me, knowing I want a hell of a lot from Logan, more than maybe I deserve after running off. “I want you to touch me … down there.” This is all new to me. Aside from some making out and heavy petting during my college years, I don’t know anything about being sexual. I always wanted to save myself for Logan, and I have, but now I feel so inexperienced I’m embarrassed.

He groans and before I can think, or try and say anything else, he’s licking at my pussy. I let my head fall back on the table, crying out as pleasure assaults me. He licks up my center, as if I’m an ice cream cone melting in the hot summer sun. My mouth opens on its own, my body going rigid as exquisite pleasure slams into me, taking me away, sweeping me under.

He pushes my thighs open even wider, my muscles protesting slightly, burning from the strain. But the ecstasy far outweighs anything else. Over and over he licks up my slit, teasing my pussy before dipping his tongue inside of me. He fucks me with the muscle, probing me until I know I can climax from this alone. And then when I don’t think I can take any more, he moves his mouth up to my clit and sucks the bud inside.

His mouth is hot and wet, warm and arousing. He draws out my pleasure to a fever pitch, having me crying out like a wounded animal. I come for him, my first real orgasm that has my back bowing off the table, and my breasts thrusting out. My nipples stand on end, the tips hard, needing Logan’s mouth on them. When my pleasure recedes I’m left lying there panting, unable to even think clearly.

I pry my eyes open and force my upper body off the table, looking at Logan. He’s still between my thighs, this look of intoxication clear on his face. His lips are parted, red from eating me out, glossy from my arousal. He moves up my body, wraps his hand around the nape of my neck, and slams his mouth on mine, pushing his tongue deep into my mouth. I taste myself on him, a mixture of both of us that drives me wild. I groan, unable to stop the sound from leaving me.

“Logan.” I say his name on this guttural moan, hoping he can hear the need racing out of me.

“I know, baby” is his response before he starts kissing me again. He has his hand on the small of my back and helps me so I’m sitting up. I have my legs wrapped around his waist, his erection digging into my pussy. I’m still so wet, so ready for more. I want to feel his cock pushing into me, stretching me, taking my virginity because he’s always owned it.

“Take me to my room, Logan. I need you.”

He groans, kisses me harder, and I know tonight will be the beginning of something monumental. Tonight I know that I’ll finally have Logan all to myself.

“There’s no going back, baby,” he says against my mouth. “You’re mine and I’m not letting you go. I’m not stepping away.” He pulls back. “We’ve wasted too much time, sweetheart. We aren’t wasting any more.”