CHAPTER TEN
BLAIR REFUSED TO leave the hospital room. One older, belligerent nurse tried to evict him when visiting hours ended, before the other nurses could warn her. He simply picked up his cell phone, called the administrator of the hospital at home and handed the phone to the nurse.
Flustered and apologetic, she finished her duties and went out again, her face very flushed.
“You’re very intimidating,” Niki pointed out.
He shrugged. “I’m not leaving you.” His eyes said that, and more, as they locked on her face. “‘I’m with you to the end of the line,’” he added huskily.
She smiled as he repeated the line she’d loved from Captain America: The Winter Soldier. She’d seen it with Blair several months ago.
He nodded and smiled back. “It was a great movie. A true friendship, undaunted by time or circumstance.”
“I wasn’t really impressed with Captain America until I saw the Avengers movie. I loved him in that, so I went with you to see Cap in his own movie. He’s awesome, like the actor who plays him.”
“Yes, he is.” He cocked his head at her. “When are you going to trust me enough to share secrets with me?”
The smile faded. “Some secrets should be kept, Blair,” she said quietly. “Besides, you have enough women in your life right now, don’t you?” she added with a forced laugh.
“Everyone except the right one,” he replied. “I pushed her out of my life for her own good. See where that got us?”
She stared at the coverlet, not responding.
“I can afford to fly the most expensive, famous specialists in the world to Billings to consult on your case,” he said out of the blue. “I won’t even tell your father if you don’t want me to.”
She bit her lower lip because it was trembling.
He stood up, leaned over the bed and kissed her cheek. “We’ll talk about it later, when you’re out of here.” He stood up. “I know I’ve given you no reason to trust me lately. But I’ll earn that trust back, if you give me the chance. I’ve never been as miserable in my life as I have since we came back from Mexico, Niki.”
More tears made a path down her face.
“If friendship is all you want,” he said huskily, “I’ll try to manage just that. It isn’t what I want. But I can settle for anything that will get you back into my life, in any way.”
She looked up at him from drowned pale gray eyes, almost silver with the glitter of her tears. “You pushed me away! Said what I felt for you was...demeaning!” she said, repeating what he’d said that hurt most.
His eyes closed on a wave of guilt. “I lied. God forgive me, I lied to you. Niki, I’m almost thirty-nine years old,” he ground out.
“What does that have to do with anything?” she asked softly, and seemed really not to know.
“I’m sixteen years older than you. It will matter one day,” he bit off.
“To whom?” she asked reasonably. “Not to me.”
“You’re very young.” He felt torn. “Brady wasn’t the one, but there are nice men your age, Niki. You could still find one who’d love and cherish you, take care of you.”
“Dan said I’d had too much of that already, that I needed to take care of myself,” she said. “Maybe he was right. I do avoid exercise, and I don’t always eat right.”
“May I quote Ed Jacobs on that theory?” he asked her. “I might get thrown out of the hospital for language if I repeat exactly what he said. The gist of it is that while exercise and diet and supplements can help, they won’t cure a cureless disease. Least of all his poor daughter’s rheumatoid arthritis or your asthma.”
She shifted in the bed, not knowing what to say. Blair’s black eyes flashed like lightning. “I wish I’d hit him harder.”
“Oh, Blair.” She looked at him with soft, sparkling eyes. It was the first time since she’d been airlifted to the hospital that she’d really felt happy.
He caught his breath at the picture she made. Even with her pale blond hair unwashed and disheveled, her face pale from her experience, she was like sunshine.
“Maste,” he said, pronouncing it mah-shday.
“What?” she asked softly.
“It’s a Lakota word,” he said. “One of my security people is Lakota, from South Dakota. He taught me a little of the language. It means ‘sunshine.’ It’s what I always think of when I think of you.”
Her eyes brightened. She felt warm from the inside out. She searched over his broad, hard face. “You look so tired.”
“I’ve been traveling for a long time,” he replied. “Too long, maybe. I went to meetings when I could have delegated. I guess I was trying to outrun my conscience.” He sighed. “Useless, but it gave me something to do while I was tormenting myself.”
“About what?”
“You know about what,” he returned. His eyes narrowed as they slid down her body and back up again. “Yes, you know, Niki. One sweet, long taste of you wasn’t enough.”
She closed her eyes on a silent moan. Then opened them and spoke.
“Janet told you that was what I was trying to do, with the bathing suit, trying to trick you into a relationship you didn’t want, didn’t she?”
“She lied. You won’t admit it, but we both know it’s true.”
Her eyes opened into his and searched them hungrily. “I could never do something so dishonest,” she said simply. “I thought... I thought you knew me better than that.”
He went to the window, looking out it with anguish in his eyes that he didn’t want her to see. “I told you that I believed her because I needed to.” He touched the blinds. There was a very thin layer of dust. “It gave me a reason to run, to get away from you before I did something I couldn’t take back.”
She didn’t understand what he was saying. She watched him quietly, curiously.
He turned back to her. “We’ll save that discussion for another time, though,” he said. “They should be bringing you something to eat soon.”
“You should go down to the cafeteria and get something for yourself,” she said. “You don’t have to stay here all the time.”
He moved closer. “I can’t leave you.” The words were simple. What his eyes were saying was far more complex. “I’ll have no peace anywhere else in the world.”
Tears threatened again. She was a watering pot, probably as a result of her recent trauma. But before she could answer, an aide came in bearing a tray. She pulled the one-armed table over Niki and put the tray down.
“JELL-O and soup, right?” Niki asked with resignation.
“Oh, no. Something much nicer.” She lifted the metal lid.
“Beef stew? It’s my favorite!” Niki enthused. “And strawberry ice cream?”
The aide exchanged a mischievous smile with Blair. “Well, the administrator thought it would be good for you. Since it’s your favorite food and all,” she teased. “Enjoy.” She left, and Niki’s eyes went to Blair’s face.
“You wicked man,” she teased.
The fatigue and worry went out of him at once when he saw that look on her face. He smiled and couldn’t stop smiling. “I just donated a new MRI machine,” he said. “It helps me get a few doctor-approved meal additions.”
The mention of the machine made her uneasy. The smile faded.
“Come on, now, don’t let that hard-won meal get cold.” Blair told her gently. Whatever was wrong, he’d find some way to fix it later. No matter what.
She looked up at him worriedly. “It’s just...”
He picked up a fork and captured a potato wedge. “Open up,” he whispered, smiling.
She opened her mouth, and he ladled the food into it. She watched him, fascinated, while she ate. He fed her every bite, right down to the small cup of strawberry ice cream they gave her for dessert. She didn’t take her eyes off him the entire time.
After an aide picked up the tray and she was given her last meds for the day, he covered her gently with the blanket.
“Try to sleep, honey. I’ll be right here.”
“You can’t sleep in a chair,” she argued.
“It’s no use, don’t you know?” he whispered, bending to brush a soft, tantalizing kiss across her mouth. “I won’t leave you. Ever.”
He kissed the hot tears off her cheeks, sat back down in the chair and linked her fingers with his. He stayed like that until long after she was asleep.
* * *
WHEN SHE WOKE the next morning to the sound of bustling noises in the hall, Blair was fast asleep in the chair. A fine growth of beard made his face a little darker. He wasn’t even snoring. When he heard her move, he came awake instantly.
“I wish you’d go to the house and sleep in a bed,” she said gently, wincing.
“I’ll go home when you do,” he replied. He got to his feet and stretched. He touched his chin and grinned. “Well, I might go to the house and beg a shave and a bath. But I’ll be back by the time they get through with your bath and breakfast,” he promised. He leaned over and kissed her forehead. “Don’t try to escape.”
“Okay.” She was looking at him with soft, wondering eyes.
He was barely able to make himself walk out the door. In spite of everything he’d done, all the mistakes he’d made, she was forgiving him, loving him all over again. He thanked God for miracles and drove back to the Ashton house.
* * *
TODD WAS JUST having breakfast. “How is she?” he asked.
“Better,” Blair said. “They were getting ready to bathe and feed her, so I thought I’d take advantage of that to have a quick shower and shave.”
“You can have coffee and breakfast, too,” Todd chuckled. “Listen, I talked to Fred Morris. He said they can put a rollaway bed in Niki’s room for you.”
He shook his head. “I’m punishing myself, didn’t you know?” he asked gently. “I’ve made her miserable. Now it’s payback time.”
Todd shook his head. “Okay. But a bed is better than a chair for sleeping.”
“She’ll be home soon anyway.” He paused. “There’s something she’s hiding, Todd. Something that worries her. I can’t get it out of her. But I thought, when she’s recovered a bit, I might take her home with me for a few days. Jameson will spoil her, and I’ll try to get her to talk.”
Todd drew in a breath. “I know. I can’t get her to tell me anything, either. Doctor Fred looks guilty all the time but when I ask him why, he clams up. He knows something. I just can’t intimidate him enough to get it out of him.”
“I’ll get it out of Niki. I’ll do it in a nice way,” he added. He pursed his lips. “What does she like, Lindt chocolates and French pastry? I can have the first shipped in, and Jameson can make the latter. We have a cappuccino machine, as well.”
Todd chuckled. “All the comforts of home and more, eh?”
Suddenly, his cell phone rang. He checked the caller ID, glared at it and answered. “Yes?”
Janet purred, “Hi, Blair, I was wondering if you would mind a houseguest for a few days?”
“Sorry, I’m expecting other company.”
“Oh.” She hesitated. “Perhaps some other time?”
“Perhaps,” he bit off, “you’d better find some other man to pursue or you’re going to be facing stalking charges. I thought my attorney told you that. I also know the owner of the film company you work for. Keep that in mind.”
There was a shocked pause. “I... I thought... I mean, you took me out in New York and bought me diamonds,” she began.
“The diamonds were a nice way of saying go away,” he added harshly. “I’m sorry that I have to use threats to get you to understand that I meant it.”
She hesitated. “I see. It’s Niki, I guess,” she added heavily. “Look, I’m sorry. I got things backward. I was caught up in the memories of how close we were and hoping we’d be that way again. I just lost my way a little. I’m sorry.”
He was, too.
Janet laughed nervously. “I’m sorry I didn’t get the message. I won’t bother you again. Honest.”
“I’d appreciate it.”
“Goodbye, Blair. I really hope you’ll be happy.”
He didn’t reply. He just hung up.
“Janet again, I guess?” Todd asked.
“Some women won’t give up.”
“Not a problem I’ve ever had,” he chuckled. “But you could buy and sell me, buddy. Women like trinkets.”
“I bought Niki a bracelet at Yellowstone,” Blair recalled with a smile. “Rawhide with a medallion made of a deer antler. She thought it was the most beautiful thing in the store.” His smile faded. “When I took Elise there, on our honeymoon, she wanted the most expensive turquoise jewelry in the case and never once said thank you.”
“Have the lawyers hashed out that situation yet?” Todd asked.
Blair shrugged. “I hired a private detective,” he said surprisingly. “You might know him, Dane Lassiter out of Houston.”
“No, but I’ve heard of him.”
“There’s something about Elise, something I can’t quite figure out,” he continued. “She has more than enough alimony to keep her comfortable, but she keeps wanting more and more. I thought it was greed at first, but I’m wondering if someone isn’t trying to blackmail her.”
Todd’s eyebrows arched. “Blackmail her about what? She doesn’t have a job, does she?”
“In fact, she does. She’s an actress. The producer of the play she’s currently starring in has given her a cut of the profits. If it’s a success, she’ll be rich in her own right, without having to depend on what I give her.” He pursed his lips. “Apparently, acting is what she wants most in life, and this is her big chance.”
“She is beautiful,” Todd replied with grudging praise.
“Not like Niki,” the other man said quietly. “Elise’s beauty is only on the outside,” Blair said. “Niki’s beauty shines out of her like the sun itself.”
Todd sipped coffee and pretended not to notice the rapt expression on his friend’s face.
“I left my bag in the car. If you don’t mind a houseguest for a few days...?” Blair asked.
“Don’t be absurd,” Todd chuckled. “You do need a shave,” he added with pursed lips. “You look like a grizzly bear.”
“What ever happened to that cowboy who was buying metal construction toys for his little girl and complaining that she was female?” Blair asked suddenly, remembering a Christmas he’d spent here.
“Oh, Roy Blake’s little girl.” Todd’s eyes twinkled. “Her mother just had a little boy. So for her birthday, Daisy got her first real doll.”
“Good for her.”
“Niki loves children,” Todd said. “When she was younger, every time I’d take her out, she’d find her way into a baby shop or the children’s section of a department store.”
Blair’s heart soared. He wanted children, too. Niki would look sweet with a baby in her arms.
“I’ll clean up and come back for breakfast. Thanks,” he added.
Todd just grinned.
* * *
NIKI WAS SITTING up in bed in the hospital, reading a book on her iPad. It was a sweeping romance, set in Paris, with a hero who curled her toes. She looked up when Blair walked back in, wearing tan slacks and a yellow knit designer shirt. He looked elegant and very handsome.
“You look rested,” she said.
“So do you, honey.” He bent and brushed his mouth gently over her soft lips. “Feeling better?”
The brief caress had shaken her, and she tried to hide it. “Yes. Much better, thanks. Doctor Fred may let me go home tomorrow.”
He sat down in the chair beside the bed. “Suppose you come home with me for a few days?” he asked.
She hesitated.
“Jameson isn’t invasive, but he’s usually around,” Blair said with a teasing smile. “I can even have a dead bolt put on your bedroom door and tell any visitors that you’re a relative.”
She flushed. “Stop.”
He chuckled. “Nothing will happen,” he said softly. “I’ll drive you over to Hardin and we’ll look at the battlefield. We won’t walk far. And I’ll carry your inhaler and your cell phone. Just to make sure you don’t forget them,” he added, tongue in cheek.
“Blair, I don’t know,” she faltered.
He took her fingers in his and linked them. “You won’t tell your father. But you’ll tell me,” he added quietly, holding her eyes. “Whatever it is, whatever’s wrong, I’ll fix it. I promise.”
She winced. “What if you can’t fix it?” she asked.
He felt, for the first time, a skirl of real fear. “What is it, Niki?”
She averted her eyes. “I can’t talk about it. Not yet.”
His fingers contracted. “Will you? If I promise not to tell your father?”
She didn’t speak for a minute. But finally, she nodded. Blair wasn’t really involved with her. He didn’t want her for anything except a friend, so it wouldn’t hurt him to know. She had to tell someone. It was killing her, holding the fear inside.
“That’s a promise, then,” he said.
“Yes, Blair,” she agreed. “It’s a promise.”
* * *
THE NURSE WHO’D saved Niki on the hike stopped by to see how she was. She worked in the hospital in Billings, but she was visiting a friend in Catelow.
“You look much better,” she said, smiling at Niki. She glanced curiously at Blair sitting in the chair by the bed, holding Niki’s hand. He stood up. Old-world courtesy still occupied a place in him. He smiled at her.
“This is Blair.” Niki introduced them. “This is Nancy, the nice lady who stayed with me and fed me coffee until the rescue helicopter got to us.”
“Her father and I owe you a tremendous debt,” Blair said, shaking her hand.
“I was happy to help,” she replied. Her face hardened. “I would, however, like to shake that young man who thought she was pretending.”
“I knocked him out into the hall,” Blair said complacently.
“Good for you!” the nurse chuckled.
“Thank God you knew what to do,” Blair continued. “And that you had GPS on your cell phone.”
“It comes in handy. I’ve always liked hiking. Fresh air really is good for you.” She stared at Niki. “Unless you have asthma, and pollen counts are through the roof,” she added pointedly.
Niki flushed and laughed softly. “I let Dan convince me that I was overreacting to the great outdoors.”
“Dan is an idiot. One day he’ll prescribe some herbal supplement and involve himself in a lawsuit or a homicide complaint,” Nancy said. She shook her head. “I believe some of that is beneficial. But fanaticism is dangerous in more ways than one.”
“I agree,” Blair said.
The nurse was staring at him. “Odd, but I think I know you.”
Blair’s eyes narrowed. “I have the same feeling.”
She thought for a minute. Then she laughed. “You’re Blair Coleman. Of course! I did private duty with your mother when I was just out of nursing school. She had gall bladder surgery and I cared for her at home for a few days.” Her expression softened. “She was a unique woman. Compassionate and kind. She was worried that I’d strain myself lifting her.” She shook her head. “Such a rare person. Especially in this day and time.”
“She thought a lot of you, Nancy.”
The nurse, who was in her fifties and blonde, grinned. “That’s me. I’m in charge of a ward at the hospital in Billings, so I don’t do private nursing anymore.” She glanced at Niki. “I’m so glad you’re mending. I was worried that the helicopter might not be in time. You should always carry a thermos of strong black coffee with you on outings, just in case.”
“I’ll remember,” Niki promised.
Nancy smiled. “I’m going home today, but I wanted to check in on you. Take care of yourself.”
“I will. Thank you again. I won’t ever forget you.”
“I won’t forget you, either. Mr. Coleman,” she added, nodding, as she left them alone.
“Dad and I should do something for her,” Niki said a minute later.
“Dad and you and I should do something for her,” Blair amended, glancing at her warmly.
* * *
DOCTOR FRED CAME by that evening on his rounds. He was amused to see Blair still sitting by Niki’s bed in the uncomfortable chair.
“You’re mending nicely,” he told Niki. He paused by the bedside. “You can go home in the morning, but I want you to use the respirator. You’ve got albuterol for it?”
“Yes, sir,” she replied.
“Twice a day. Continue on the antibiotics and that pulse of steroids I also prescribed. And stay out of the outdoors unless you wear a mask!”
“Yes, sir,” she sighed.
He glanced at Blair. “Don’t let that tofu-eating idiot do this to her again.”
“He left town,” Blair replied.
Fred pursed his lips. “I understand there was an altercation and Mr. Brady left here with a few bruises?”
“I only hit him once,” Blair said. “And not as hard as I wished I had, when I learned exactly what happened.”
Doctor Fred studied Niki. “Won’t you change your mind about what we discussed?”
“No,” she said stiffly.
Blair looked at the doctor. “She’s going home with me,” he told the other man. “I’m going to bribe her with Lindt chocolates and cappuccino and make her tell me what’s going on. I promised I wouldn’t tell her father.”
“Thank God,” the doctor said heavily. “I delivered her, you know,” he told Blair. “She’s making a mistake and she won’t listen to me.”
“She’ll listen to me,” Blair said gently. He smiled at her. “Won’t you, baby?”
She flushed and couldn’t answer.
Doctor Fred just grinned. “Okay, then, I’ll give the order to release you first thing tomorrow. The nurse will have your prescriptions ready. You call my office for an appointment in a week. I want to check you out, to make sure there are no complications. You know the drill, right?” he said to Blair. “Any congestion that brings up colored sputum, any fever...?”
“I know it very well,” he replied. He looked at Niki with an expression the doctor recognized. “I’ll take good care of her,” he added huskily.
Niki didn’t say anything. She was lost in the black tenderness of his eyes.
* * *
BLAIR AND HER FATHER came to get her at the hospital the next morning.
“Both of you?” she laughed, sitting in the chair in her room, dressed in jeans and a pullover white knit blouse. Her blond hair was loose, a little dingy but still beautiful.
“I’m driving,” her father said with a grin. “Blair’s riding shotgun, in case your friend Brady tries to sneak back into the county.”
“Oh, my goodness, my job!” Niki exclaimed. “I didn’t think to tell Mr. Jacobs...!”
“Jacobs hired a temp,” Blair said, “and you’re on official sick leave for two weeks. Don’t fuss,” he added when she opened her mouth, smiling down at her. “He’s so happy to have Brady out of the state that he’s willing to go along with anything.”
“His poor daughter,” Niki said softly. “Imagine, to be so young and have that kind of illness, with constant pain.”
“One day there will be a cure,” her father said. “For her and for you.”
Niki averted her eyes. “That would be nice,” she agreed, but she wasn’t thinking of asthma. Her heart was like lead in her chest. She felt the fear all over again, and despite her best efforts to hide it, Blair recognized it.
They drove her home. She was still coughing a little, but Doctor Fred had said that her lungs were clear. He was less enthusiastic about her getting on a private jet to go to Billings, so several days later Blair had a limousine sent to Catelow to bring him and Niki up to his home in Billings.
“I made you a cake,” Edna told Blair and Niki, handing them a lemon cake in a carrier. “It’s your favorite—both of you.” She beamed at Blair. “I would have made you stroganoff if you’d been here longer, from scratch. It was so kind of you.”
“What was, Edna?” Blair asked.
“Beating the hell out of Mr. Brady,” the housekeeper said curtly. “I would love to have kicked him myself,” she added thoughtfully. Then she flushed. “Sorry.”
“Don’t be sorry,” Niki said. “I considered the kicking part, too.” Niki kissed Edna’s cheek. “I won’t be away long. We’re going to see the Little Bighorn battlefield!”
“With a rescue inhaler, a cell phone and a surgical mask,” Blair said darkly.
Her father chuckled. He hugged his daughter. “Have fun. We’ll see you when you get home.”
“Love you, Dad,” she said at his ear.
“Me, too, Tidbit,” he replied as he kissed her cheek. “Have a safe trip.”
“We will.” Blair handed her suitcase to the driver, who put it in the trunk with Blair’s. He opened the back door for them. Niki got in, and Blair slid in beside her. And they were off.
* * *
THE ONLY PARTS of Blair’s home that Niki had ever seen were the living room and the door of his study, when she and her father had gone to Billings to bring him to their house after his divorce was final.
So the rest of the house was something of an adventure. He had a huge indoor pool with potted plants all round it, and a miniature conservatory with exotic plants like orchids.
“It’s amazing,” Niki breathed, drinking it all in.
“I had the conservatory and the swimming pool added year before last,” he said.
“Oh. For Elise.”
He studied her. “No. For you.” He smiled at her surprise. “Elise never even spent a night here, Niki. She hated Billings. She wanted Paris or Rome or New York.”
“You don’t like big cities,” she said absently.
“I like Billings,” he said. “In fact, I like Catelow just as much. Montana and Wyoming have a lot in common, the least of which is enough wide open space to keep a man from feeling crowded. And no, I don’t like big cities.”
She smiled at him shyly as she touched one of the orchids, a yellow one on a tall stem, gently, with just the tips of her fingers. “I’ve always loved orchids.”
“You remind me of one,” he replied quietly. “You did from the first time I saw you.”
She turned. “That brooch you gave me, it wasn’t off the shelf,” she said knowingly.
He shrugged, smiling. “No. I had it commissioned especially for you. You’re like that orchid, Niki,” he added, and the smile faded. “You need careful handling.”
She bit her lower lip. She averted her eyes and moved on to the ficus trees in their huge pots.
“I didn’t mean that in a critical way,” he said from behind her. He moved closer, taking her small waist in his hands and pulling her back to him, so that she could feel the power and heat of his body behind her. “I meant that you need nurturing. That’s all.”
Her fingers rested on top of his, idly caressing. “My lungs have always been weak,” she agreed.
He felt a chill go through his body.
She drew in a long, shivering breath. She leaned her head back against him. “It’s such a mess,” she said quietly. “I don’t know what to do. I’m so scared, Blair.”
He turned her gently, framing her face in his big, warm hands. “Tell me.”
She searched his worried black eyes. “Do you know how my mother died?”
“Yes. Your father told me.”
“They found a little spot on her lung. Just a tiny dot. They said it would be easy. They’d take it out, do radiation and chemo, she’d be fine. They said that two times, Blair. She died, finally, in agony, struggling to breathe.” She took a breath. “I was holding her hand when she died. I was only seven years old.”
He drew her into his arms and held her, rocked her, against him. “I didn’t know that.”
“Dad doesn’t talk about it. He gets so upset. He loved her more than anything in the world.”
He was feeling the fear that ran through her. “What you don’t want him to know, does it have something to do with that checkup you had, before the hike and the asthma attack?” he asked in a quiet, deep tone.
“I suppose so. I was being selfish, cowardly.” She closed her eyes and rested her cheek against his chest. His heartbeat was very heavy and fast. “I thought how it had been for Mama, and about putting Daddy through all that again. I thought...it would be quick...but it wasn’t, and I put a lot of people to so much trouble. Scared Dad to death, too. All for nothing.”
He swallowed. His arms tightened. “Niki, what are you trying to tell me?”
She didn’t know how to say it. She hadn’t thought it would affect him, but she could feel a faint tremor in the big arms holding her.
He lifted his head and looked down into her wide, sad gray eyes. They were the color of fog rising off the river in late autumn, he thought.
“Come on. Tell me.”
She drew in a breath. “Blair, they found a spot on my lung in the X-ray.”