Rennek
When the sun rose on this day I knew in my core it was the beginning of something wonderful. Da’vi and Allison took their leave of us and I am grateful for it--though I know it troubles my mate. Da’vi and Allison have their own work to do and Kate and I have this day. For today is the first day of the rest of our lives.
It seems as if my senses are alive in a way they never have been before. I trust our path--both the literal one before us and the emotional one between us. With each passing moment I feel my core entwine more deeply with Kate’s. We are woven together so intricately now that I know we can never be taken apart. To be without her would be a death sentence for me.
It is no wonder that on this first day of our forever, my mate brings up the topic of us. I am pleased to discuss it. Today is a day of vows.
“I was under the impression we were finished discussing it,” I tease.
“Is that right?” She smiles up at me.
“I bent to your iron will and agreed to be your partner. Has anyone ever told you what a pushy female you are?”
“Haha. You think you’re being funny, but you have no idea how pushy I can be,” she laughs.
“It will be my burden to bear then, to have a female so demanding. You demand I take you to new worlds, demand I hunt for you and feed you, demand I fuck you each night until you swoon in ecstasy...”
“Pfft!” She snorts. “Wow, you take some liberties, don’t you?”
“Hmm, perhaps I do. Or perhaps I find no shame in speaking the truth,” I tell her. I finish my meal and place the packaging aside, she does the same.
“On a serious note though… I would like to understand the meaning of ‘mate.’ What does it mean to you, or for us...”
“Perhaps it would help me if you described what mating is like on your planet. Then, I could tell you if it is the same or if there are differences,” I suggest.
“Oh gosh… that’s a loaded question. Well, it depends on if you’re talking about mating as in sex, or dating relationships in general, or something more serious.”
“What is dating?” I ask her.
“Dating is like slowly getting to know a person and deciding whether or not you like them and if you would like to pursue more from a relationship with them,” she explains.
“That is definitely not what I mean when I call you my mate,” I tell her. “We are beyond that.”
“Oh we are?”
“I already know I like you, my feelings for you are much stronger than like. Though I do look forward to getting to know more about you.”
“Ditto. Er, I mean, me too.”
“What is more than dating?” I ask.
“I don’t know… cohabiting? Like two people living together. Or maybe engagement, which means a commitment has been made to spend forever together, but it doesn’t become official until marriage,” she clears her throat and has difficulty meeting my gaze as she says these things.
“We do live together. You agreed to share a bed with me.”
“I didn’t know if that was a permanent arrangement or based on convenience.”
“Both,” I tell her. “Mating must be very complex on your planet,” earning me another of her beautiful laughs.
“So, we’re cohabiting then? That’s what you mean when you say ‘mate’?” she asks.
“Being mates means that and more. It is a commitment, as your earth engagement is. What is marriage?”
“Marriage is a big deal. You make that commitment not only to your partner, but in a ceremony in front of all your family and friends as witnesses. You say vows to love, honor, cherish… in sickness and in health for all the days of your life. It’s like two people deciding to be family,” she finishes.
“That is the meaning of mate.” I tell her. “We have a similar bonding ceremony, not all mates choose to have the event. But as Tennir mentioned, Madreed will likely insist.” She looks a bit pale at my words.
“On Earth there’s a bit more to it…” she stammers.
“Tell me.”
“Usually the couple dates for years before they decide to get married,” she tells me.
“That is foolish.” Why would one wait so long for what they already know, I wonder?
“Not really… it gives the couple time to really live with each other and get to know all the annoying habits they have… it helps develop trust…”
“You have already said you trust me and you will be happy to know I possess no annoying habits at all.” My mate smiles at me and I see laughter in her eyes.
“Well, you’re right. I do trust you in a lot of ways, I guess. But maybe I should be the judge of your annoying habits.” I know she jokes, but her words wound me.
“You should trust me in all ways.” My tone causes her to still momentarily.
“I didn’t mean it like that. I trust you in many ways Rennek. I trust you to protect us, I trust your instincts and your knowledge. I know you are a good friend, a good captain and a good son. I trust your sincerity with me…”
“But there are ways in which you do not trust me?” I cut through her words, feeling burned in my core at her insinuation. The drumming comes to life again, rolling like thunder within me, but this time it hurts. It is like all the air escapes me.
“I don’t mean to say that. What I mean is… relationships are hard and you might feel one way at the beginning and those feelings change over time. I’m not saying I don’t trust your feelings toward me, I’m just saying we don’t know right now if you’ll feel the same way in a few weeks or a few months or a few years.”
I am dumbfounded at her words. I do not know whether I am angry or hurt. All I know is that she is wrong and I must reveal her error to her. I must somehow get her to understand that I knew from the moment I saw her she would be everything to me until the end of time.
“Kate,” I take her hands in mine. “When I call you my mate, it is forever. Those feelings will never change.”
“I believe you mean that Rennek, but there is no way of knowing. Don’t people get divorced in your culture?”
“I do not know what this is,” I tell her.
“It is when a married couple, or mates, decide they don’t love each other anymore and they agree to end their relationship.”
“Why?” I ask her aghast.
“I don’t know, lots of things… people grow apart, money problems, infidelity. On Earth like half of all couples get divorced. My parents got divorced when I was little, most of my friends growing up had divorced parents. Wait, Tennir and your sister have a different father? What happened to him?” She asks.
“He died! What is this infidelity you speak of? Do you believe I would be unfaithful to you? Or that you might be unfaithful to me?” I bite back a growl at the thought, but my tail betrays me and whips angrily against the tree.
“No! No, I would never! I’m not a cheater!”
“But you think that I might be?” I ask incredulous.
“Of course not,” she says without conviction.
“Speak what is on your mind Kate!”
“Oh god, I’m doing this all wrong,” she shakes her head and covers her eyes for a moment, collecting her thoughts. “Do you know why I was taken Rennek? Why I was abducted in the first place? The best I can tell is I was abducted from my home because no one will miss me. No one will come looking for me or even notice I’m gone. Forgive me if I don’t trust that relationships are forever, because I don’t have any examples of relationships that last forever.”
“Both my parents were unfaithful to each other. They probably only had me as a last-ditch effort to save their marriage and surprise… it didn’t work. My dad checked out when I was little. He didn’t care about a relationship with me and even though my mom got custody of me in the divorce, she had checked out too. I hardly ever even saw her as a kid because she would leave me home alone and go spend weeks on end with her flavor of the month boyfriends.”
“I had to do everything myself: cook dinner, clean the house, do my laundry. Once, the checker at the grocery store called CPS because it freaked everyone out that an eleven-year-old came in every week to do the grocery shopping all by herself.”
“What I’m saying is, relationships are complicated. You don’t know what the future will bring and even the love that is supposed to be the strongest can fail. It’s not that I don’t trust you, it’s just that we can’t know, there’s just no way anyone can know. And that’s why it’s a good idea to take relationships slow.”
I take in her words. I think of Kate as a precious child, left all alone to care for herself. I think back upon my own youth. I remember how horrified she was when I told her Madreed had sent me away to Javan as a fledgling, but I was not left alone. Javan is where I met my friends. There were teachers and advisors guiding us though every day and every lesson. There were people who were close to me, that cared for me and took care of me. Kate did not have this.
“I hear you my sweet goddess. I will work to earn your trust as a mate and with each passing day you will come to know that what is between us is forever… for all the days of our lives.” She leans into my embrace.
“I do trust you Rennek. Probably more than I’ve ever trusted anyone and whatever this is between us, it’s something I’ve never felt before. I need time though.”
“You may have all my time,” I say, stroking her fiery mane. “We will take our time getting to the beacon as well. We can explore, run scans on the environment, discover what the best creatures for hunting are...”
“Find wood that might build a good bed?” She adds.
“I like how you think, sweet Kate.”
I smile, content with my mate in my arms. A handful of days will be just what Kate and I need to continue to nurture what it is that grows between us.